


Watermarks and Ripped Pages

by addict_writer



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: BDSM, Constructorward, Daddyward, Domlisle/Subward, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-01
Updated: 2013-07-06
Packaged: 2017-11-13 07:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 94,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addict_writer/pseuds/addict_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward is left bringing Makenna up when his husband dies. He works as a constructor, earning enough to keep them fed and have a roof above their heads. Enter Dr. Cullen and a scratched knee in the equation. Slash. BDSM. CarlislexEdward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My new story is here! I hope you'll enjoy it as much as the last one.
> 
> Mrs. Meyer still owns the charterers, but I own the idea.
> 
> This story will contain: Daddyward, Dom Carlsile, lots of BDSM, oh and Constructorward. Pictures can be found in my Facebook group (Addicted-to-romione-bedward Fanfiction) at Photos in the folder named after the story. You can find there the banner made by Falling Stars
> 
> A special thank you to harrytwifan for helping me with betaing this one and to Jasper1863Hale for helping me with the first few chapters.
> 
> This is going to be Edward's POV until I notify you.

"Yo, Masen! Phone call for you!" Emmett, my boss, hollers from a few floors below. He's so going to fire my ass if Bella calls every hour.

"Sorry, man!" I shout back and descend quickly to where the phone is. "Bella!" I hiss into the speaker.

"How did you know?" she asks, surprised.

"How many people could call me? I'm working."

"It's important. You'll hate me!" she moans.

"Put her on the phone. This is the last time you call just because she wants to talk to me," I demand.

"Edward, uh…it is important. She kinda fell," she mumbles.

"Fuck!" I shout, shooting Emmett a look. He's watching me like a hawk. "W-wh-at hap-pened?" I ask, brokenly.

"You know…at the playground… She fell off a swing."

"Christ! Where were you?" I shout at her. "Emmett, I have to go! It's Kenna!" He nods to me. "Don't touch her. You're home, right?" I ask Bella through my teeth.

"Actually, we're at the hospital."

Fuck.

I feel like crying. I don't have money for that.

"Where?" I manage to ask, before I grab my stuff and run away from the construction site.

My crappy car starts on the first try - it's on my side.

It takes me a good half an hour to make it to the hospital, considering it's lunch break and there's an influx of cars on the streets. No matter how much I blast the horn, they won't move faster.

When I finally park in the hospital's lot, there's smoke coming from under the car's hood.

Stupid piece of junk.

I rush inside, bump into a nurse, and grab her shoulders. "Makenna Masen - do you know where she is?"

She looks at me as if I've lost my mind.

"Please…" I glance at her name tag. "Nurse Platt."

She sighs and takes me to the front desk. "Are you a relative?"

"I'm her father!" I snap, realizing too late that she couldn't have known that.

The nurse looks through some files, then beams at me. "The little blonde girl?"

"Yes," I answer, shocked.

"She's a sweetheart. Room 70 - just down the hall, that way." She gives me a warm smile, and after thanking her, I sprint in the pointed direction.

I press the door handle and find Kenna on the bed, sucking on a lollipop and talking a mile a minute with the doctor. Bella's pacing close to the window.

"Daddy! You're hewe!" my little angel exclaims happily. "Look! I got a booboo!"

"Hey, sweetie, I can see that," I murmur and sit next to her.

"Doctow Cawen, meet Daddy!"

I glance at Bella, then focus on Doctor… _Cullen,_ as his name tag says.

Whoa.

Fuck.

He's definitely one hot doc.

"Edward Masen," I introduce myself.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I've got to say, you have one little angel here. She didn't even whimper."

My eyebrows shoot up. "Are you speaking of my daughter? I think you've mixed up patients or something." Because I know Kenna. She wails even if she bumps into something, but having a bruise? God forbid.

She's a lot like her other daddy. I push away the painful memories and focus on the now.

"What happened?"

Bella approaches us. "She was on the swing and I turned to my backpack to take the wipes out and then…she was screaming. I think she jumped," she explains, apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Edward."

So, she screamed.

"I've taken care of her. You'll have to change the bandage, though," the doctor instructs me.

I nod and gather my little one in my arms, careful with her leg. I'm about to ask Bella to help us with this, when her phone rings and she mumbles that she has to go.

"Super," I mutter. After four years, I'm still hopeless when it comes to Kenna.

The doctor senses my distress and starts explaining how to change her wrap. "But I bet your wife knows this." He nods to the door.

"Bewa's my fwiend! Daddy Jay died last yeaw," Kenna states loudly.

My eyes start stinging. _Thanks a bunch, baby_. I haven't thought of Jazz today.

Dr. Cullen looks apologetically at me.

"Don't worry," I mutter. "Thanks for the advice."

I pick Kenna up, arranging her in my arms and realizing for the first time since I stepped into the hospital that I'm still wearing my work clothes. That's why the nurse looked so weird at me.

"Mr. Masen," the doc calls, just as I'm about to open the door. "Here - call me if you need help."

I stare at the small card, then into his clear blue eyes. I give him a small smile and a nod. "Good bye." I nudge Kenna and she scowls at me; she hates to act like a lady.

"Bye, Doc!"

He laughs and waves to us.

I'll definitely call him. For other reasons…if I knew whether he was interested.

It's been far too long for me.

The fucking car won't start and grumbling under my breath, I open the hood. Low on water again. This stupid thing drinks more water than me.

At least Kenna's quiet, sucking on her lollipop.

A few tries later, the piece of scrap starts and I drive home. I'm dreading to see the bill. It's gonna be tough.

I fucking hate hospitals. I've been in them enough to last me a lifetime and a little more.

"How's your leg, love?" I ask, glancing back at her.

"Itchy."

"Ouch." I reach my hand back and stroke her ankle. "We'll get home soon and we'll eat some chocolate. It will make you feel better," I promise.

Our studio is really little, but we're happy. Kenna doesn't miss anything and she never will. It's true that I'm struggling, but we'll make it through the black hole. I know that the sun is just around the corner.

I carry her inside and put her on the bed, kissing her head and crouching to inspect her leg.

"Did you fall on your knee?"

She nods vigorously. "It huwt so bad, Daddy."

"Oh, but I'm proud of you for being good at the hospital," I praise her.

"The doctow gave me suckie fing." She beams at me.

Kid's got a sweet tooth - just like Jazz.

"And did you know the doctor?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"No."

"Then he is a stranger. Remember when we talked about accepting stuff from strangers?"

Her green eyes widen. "Oh." Then they water rapidly. "I'm sowy, Daddy!"

"It's Bella's fault. She should have said no."

"Bewa busy wif telly."

"She was on the phone?" I feel my blood pressure raising.

"Wif her boyfwiend."

"How do you know that?" I wonder, amused. She could have been talking with anyone.

"She said 'Hi, Jake.' Jake's her boyfwiend."

I plant another kiss on her head. "Smart."

"Chocolate?" She throws me her killer smile.

"You didn't forget that, huh?"

"Nevah! Yummy!" She pats her tummy, giggling.

I can't help but start tickling her. She's too cute for her own good. Once she's breathless and with tears down her cheeks, my job is done, so I go to fetch the chocolate.

There are only three pieces left.

I put a kid movie into our ancient DVD player and settle on the bed next to her.

"Oh, no! We can't shaw!"

"What, baby?" I ask, confused. It's impossible to understand her words sometimes.

"We can't shaw!" she repeats, pointing to the chocolate.

 _Share_. We can't share.

_Aw, my precious angel._

"It's yours, baby."

"No." She shakes her head.

Damn, stubborn kid.

I break one of the pieces in half, offering her the bigger part. "Happy, now?"

"Yep!"

I shake my head and focus on the movie. Eventually growing bored of the cartoons, I head to the kitchen to prepare a late lunch. I make two dishes of the beans I bought the other day – soup and main course.

After the movie's over, I feed her some soup, then change the bandage - earning shouts and tears. I must be doing it wrong, considering she didn't make a sound when the doctor took care of her, or she's simply too spoiled with me. Then we head to Bella's, so I can talk with her about the plan for the next day, and call my boss.

Emmett understands my problems and is accepting, but I'm afraid that one day he'll make me choose between work and running to my kid. I'll choose Kenna in every scenario, and we'll die starving under the bridge covered in scraps of cardboard.

I promise Emmett to not leave early for a week. It's bullshit, in case Bella calls with an emergency.

Surprisingly, I can keep my word - for a whole month, which gets me a little bonus on payday.

When I collect Kenna from Bella, I go straight to the store.

My princess is sitting on the special support in the cart and points. I argue with her that we can't buy every possible thing that looks nice. _For Christ's sake, what's nice about a mango?_

I'm inspecting the detergents, when she squirms in her seat, wanting down.

"Chill, kid!" I put her down. "Don't go anywhere," I warn her and return my attention to the box I'm holding.

I finally settle on a type and look around for my little one. She's a few feet away, crouched, staring at something.

"Hey, I'm leaving - coming?" I call for her.

She jumps up and runs to me. "Daddy?"

"Yeah?" I ask, taking her hand.

"What's this?" She holds something to me.

I choke on my spit. They shouldn't put those things at kids' level.

"Uh, it's not for you." I try to pry the box from her hand.

Kenna squeezes the condom box. "What is it? What are the man and woman doing?"

Fucking explicit shit.

"They're…uh…kissing," I lie. "Now, give it here so I can put it back."

"You shouwd buy it - to kiss someone."

I feel my face turning red. "We've discussed this, baby. Daddy Jay is my only one."

"But you sad."

I sigh and finally pry the box from her. "Life sucks." I slap a hand over my mouth.

She giggles. "Bad word."

"Sorry. I'll buy you another chocolate."

I turn to return the condoms to their place and bump into someone.

"Shit! Sorry," I mumble. When I take a step back, I realize it's the doctor.

"It's okay," he says, offering his hand for a shake.

Too late, I realize I'm still holding the box. I transfer it to my other hand and shake his.

"How's the trooper doing?" he asks, looking at Kenna, who's suddenly shy and hiding behind my leg.

"She's doing fine. Her knee's all healed. Thank you."

"It's my job, but I have to admit, she was one of those patients you never forget." He grins, causing a stirring down low in my pants.

Fuck. No.

"She's pretty special," I tell him, winking at Kenna and earning a wide smile from her. "I'm sorry again for bumping into you," I apologize.

"No worries. Playing it safe?" He's smirking.

I frown, not understanding him at first, then his eyes cut to my hand.

"Oh, no. No, no. Kenna decided to ask what those were. I swear, people are so irresponsible for putting them within kids' reach," I babble, feeling my whole face burning.

Dr. Cullen smiles, shaking his head. "It's okay, you know? Better safe than sorry."

I gulp through the lump in my throat, blinking back the tears. "Yeah, right." I chuck the condoms into our cart, pick up Kenna and head to the cash registers.

I keep telling myself that he doesn't know my crappy life story, but his words hurt so fucking bad. They cut into my barely healed heart.

"Why sad, Daddy? Mean doc?"

I sniff and shrug. I can't talk.

I have no idea how I make it home, but once Kenna's bathed and her tummy is full, I put her to bed. I then close myself in the bathroom and bite my fist, to keep the sobs from escaping me.

Fuck everything!

I kick the hamper, brushing my tears away.

Why did we have to fight that night?

Fuck.

I don't realize I've been noisy, until small arms wrap around my neck - she's crying, too.

_Well done, asshole!_

"I miss Daddy Jay," she sighs.

Fuck.

I can't stop crying.

I hug her to my chest and we stay there quiet for a long time.

 


	2. Chapter 2

" _I had to be with her!" I shout at him. "I was there for you when your dad died! She's my best friend!"_

" _Of course you were there for me! I'm your lover! Your husband!" Jazz barks. "But it's not okay for you to disappear with that Bella for a week, and leave me alone with a feverish Kenna!"_

" _Jazz, Christ!" I grip my hair. "I tried to call you, but you didn't answer your phone!"_

" _And what? You decided to pass our kid to the neighbor and run to mighty Bella? She has that dipshit of a boyfriend for support."_

" _He was away with business," I defend her._

" _Or simply, he didn't want to wipe her snot!"_

" _Jasper! What the heck? I said I'm sorry!"_

" _Whatever."_

_He turns and heads to the door._

" _Wait!" I shout. "Where are you going?" I ask, worried._

" _Out! I need to chill. I can't believe you chose your bitchy friend over our kid – our_ sick _kid!"_

" _Jazz…"_

" _Later, Edward."_

_The door slams shut after him._

_I stare at it in disbelief, then turn to go check on said sick kid. She's at the bottom of the stairs, staring at me, concerned._

Little did I know, that fight would ruin our lives and eventually kill him.

Jazz got drunk that night and he always did stupid stuff while drunk. That was the time when he slept with someone at the bar. We'd had an even bigger fight, when he stumbled home at some ungodly hour, reeking of alcohol and sex.

Things weren't the same after that, but we eventually talked it out and put it behind us - until he started getting sick and my personal nightmare began.

I'm staring at the ceiling of our little room, willing sleep to come. I have to work in a few hours and I can't be tired in my field.

I still can't believe all the things that have happened in only one year. I used to have a decent job in a bank, but being late constantly - running between hospital, kindergarten and work - didn't impress my boss. I tried to explain to her countless times that my family came first and they really needed me at the moment.

Needless to say, I was fired. Luckily for me, while I was whining to Jasper at the hospital, my current boss was there with his wife who was in labor. He offered me a job in construction. Initially, I said thanks, but no thanks.

Seriously? From a bank employee to working on a construction site? He must have been crazy.

But Jasper's next bill had me calling Emmett about his proposition.

I give up trying to sleep and head to the kitchen to make myself a strong coffee. I sit at the table, drinking it and staring at the empty chair across from me.

_I miss you so fucking much, Jazz._

I let my head fall against the table, sighing heavily.

"Daddy! Daddy! We late!"

My head snaps up and I stare at Kenna confused.

Shit. I fell asleep.

_Ow_. My neck.

I rub it slowly and squint at the clock.

Nine. Fucking nine!

I scoop her up and rush to the bathroom to wash her, then change her clothes quickly. While she's tying her shoelaces, I'm changing my clothes.

"Huwy?"

"Yes, angel. We're in a _huge_ hurry. I'll tell your teacher that you didn't get to eat breakfast," I explain and rush to the car.

After dropping her off at the kindergarten, I speed to my work. Emmett gives me a raised eyebrow and I shake my head, grabbing a hard hat, before running inside the building. I'm not ready to tell him I overslept.

We mostly work inside considering it's raining, and we can't do much on the outside of the building.

When it's finally time to go home, I drive to the bookstore to pick up Kenna. As much as Jazz disliked Bella, she's a huge help. If not for her, I have no idea how I'd keep my job and take care of Kenna, too.

I step inside the bookstore and find Bella – like always – surrounded by kids, as she reads some fairytale book. I walk closer and lean against a bookcase, looking at my little angel nestled into her side, paying attention to Bella's every word.

Luckily, I arrived at the end of the story. When she's done, I start clapping, making her turn to me. She comes to me, but Kenna beats her to it, jumping into my arms.

"Hey, baby!" I kiss her nose.

"You look like shit, Edward."

"Thanks, Bella," I mutter.

"You need sleep. I don't mind keeping her overnight." She nods to Kenna.

I don't want to be apart from my little one, but she's right, I need to rest. "Would you like that?" I ask Kenna. "A sleepover at Bella's?"

"Yes!" she shrieks.

"And you'll leave me alone?" I pout.

She looks confused for a moment. "Gals time, Daddy!"

I snort and kiss her cheek. "You still have some of her clothes at your house?" I check.

"Yes, Edward. Now go. Sleep. Enjoy the free time."

I nod, and after kissing Kenna again, I let her down and she runs to the group of kids.

"Thanks, Bella."

"Don't mention it." She waves a hand.

Home. It's unusually quiet, and I have no idea what to do with myself. I decide to take a nap, then take it from there.

I can do the laundry later.

Or I can open the envelopes that arrived.

I wake up at seven thirty, feeling invigorated.

I immediately set to work, picking up dirty clothes to take them to the Laundromat. Once I have a backpack full of clothes, I grab my keys, but stop close to the door. I pick up the envelopes and look through them.

Electricity bill.

Junk.

Probably the last bill for Jasper's stay in the hospital. How much do I have to pay there?

Junk again.

And the dreaded hospital bill from Kenna's trip.

I rip the last one open and drop the envelope.

Five hundred!

Where the fuck do I get that kind of money?

I still have another grand to pay for Jasper.

Feeling defeated, I leave the studio, locking up and walking to the Laundromat. Saving gas will help, right?

Luckily, not many people are washing clothes at this hour, so after shoving my clothes into an empty machine and programming it, I slump onto the plastic chair.

Five minutes later, I feel someone sitting next to me, but don't pay them any attention. I'm trying to figure out a way to pay hospital bills, keep the studio, _and_ buy food - tough.

A throat clearing makes me turn my head to my left.

Hot doc's staring at me, amused.

_Is he stalking me or something?_

"I'll pay the fucking bill," I snap.

He blanches and I realize I'm being an ass.

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

"It's alright. You're speaking of the bill for your daughter's visit?" he asks, surprised.

I shrug, looking away.

"The insurance should have covered it."

I turn my head to glare at him. My eyes are stinging.

"Oh." He suddenly looks sad and opens his mouth, then closes it.

"I don't need help," I bite.

"It was an emergency. The hospital can cover that," he explains quietly.

"Since when? Not in this fucking lifetime. I know how hospitals work."

He looks at me curiously. "Are you working in the field, too?"

"Let's just say that I've been in a hospital more than enough to last me several lifetimes. I know how that system works. It's never in the patient's favor. _Never_!"

"It depends on the kind of services you needed."

He really wants to talk about this? Gah!

I swallow convulsively. I have to fight my demons.

"AIDS treatment," I tell him, staring into his eyes.

As if a switch has been flipped, he withdraws. Looking suspiciously at me, he has that look in his eyes that everyone had when they heard what was wrong with Jazz.

"I'm friends with the doctor that takes such cases."

I groan. "Then tell him to go fuck himself, because he ruined my fucking life!" I stand and move a few chairs away, dropping my head into my hands.

It's not the doctor's fault.

I don't even know who to blame.

Me – for being there for my friend, that resulted in that fight with Jazz?

Jazz – for leaving and sleeping around?

That scumbag, whoever he is, that took advantage of my drunken husband?

"I take it that you lost someone dear?" The fucking doc won't take a hint. He moves next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"My husband," I choke out.

"My sincerest condolences," he whispers.

I sniff, feeling a tear sliding down my nose. "I'm sick of bills. I'm still paying after a year."

"Didn't you have insurance? Before?"

"It didn't cover all the costs," I sigh. "I'm sorry for being rude every time we meet, but I'm so wound up, constantly worrying how I'm going to keep the house and buy food. I can't afford to lose Kenna. She's everything I have."

"Is she yours or…"

"We adopted her from her teenage mom. She was the perfect combination between us. Green eyes like mine, blond hair like Jazz. She was always closer to him, but doesn't really understand what death is and I'm not ready to explain too much."

"It's always tough with kids. I'm a pediatrician and I understand you."

_No, you don't._ But I don't bother to say it aloud.

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?" he asks.

"Building construction. And no, I don't earn enough to cover all the bills and keep us alive."

"I'd like to help. At least with your daughter's emergency. I'm sure we can cover that."

"It's five hundred dollars!" I shout. "That's unacceptable! It's ridiculous!"

"Let me help," he insists, turning my head to him. "Please, I know a person that needs help more than anything when I see them."

"I can't accept," I blurt out, feeling my cheeks reddening.

"I'm a great believer in fate. We keep bumping into each other."

"I'll feel obligated to do something in return, which brings us back to square one," I mumble, dropping my eyes.

"I don't expect anything from you. I'm doing it for your daughter."

I look at him again, trying to see a glitch in this craziness, but I can only see earnestness in his eyes.

"Okay. I'll be indebted to you, doctor."

I'm crazy for accepting this.

My washing machine finishes. After another surprised glance at him, I get up and go to take my clothes out. He goes to his own clothes, next to me.

"Hmm, you still want to do something in return?"

I glance at him, worried of what his proposition might be. "Depends…"

"How do you like your coffee?" He smiles.

"Black." _Like my heart_.

"Good. My place is close. The least you can do is accept my invitation. You seem like an intriguing person; I'd like to know you better."

I'm staring open-mouthed at him.

Did he just invite me to his house?

And he's waiting for an answer…

I can lie and tell him Kenna is waiting, but I'm drawn to know more about him, too.

"Sure," I agree, folding my clothes.

I'm keeping my promise to Jazz.

I'm trying to live my life.

Though, nothing gives the doc away as being gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edward's to spend some time with Carlisle. :)
> 
> Don't forget about the pictures in my Facebook group if you want a visual.


	3. Chapter 3

 

The doc has a nice house with a spacious driveway. The ground floor is an open space, with a counter separating the kitchen from the living room. There's a bathroom, too.

I wave him off from showing me the upstairs. I don't really want to know. He invited me for coffee – I hope coffee still means the liquid that invigorates you. I hope it's not a code for sex.

I wait on his cream leather couch, while he prepares said coffee.

Fuck. The doc must be loaded.

I feel so fucking out of my league that if he doesn't return soon, I'll flee and never look back.

In front of me is a huge plasma TV, centered by shelves full of DVDs. On each side of the shelves are two bodies of a bookcase, filled to the brim with volumes. At calculated intervals are spaces filled with a picture of him in different cities.

"Here you go. I advise you to let it cool a little," he says gently and sits next to me.

I want to shift away, but keep my muscles locked.

This is awkward.

"So…" I prompt him to say something. He invited me here, after all.

"So." He smiles.

"Do you like to travel?" I blurt out, pointing to his pictures.

"Oh, yes." He nods, shooting me another smile. "And yes, that's me on the Hollywood Walk of Fame."

I look over his photos and my eyes bug out. "That's…" I gulp. "Jack Nicholson!"

He smirks. "He's just as funny in real life as in his movies."

"Whoa! Can I…?" I unconsciously go to the photo. "He's my favorite actor."

"I have all his movies," Carlisle offers. "I can lend you some."

I feel my stomach sinking.

I don't have a DVD player. I'm still using Jasper's old video player. We have the cartoons on tapes. It's sad.

"Thanks. Uh, but no…" I feel my cheeks burning with shame.

"It's okay, really," he insists.

I shuffle back to the couch and sit in the corner. "I don't own a DVD player."

_Fuck, I hate being poor._

He doesn't answer, and when I look at him, I see him drinking from his cup and studying me.

To give me something to do, I pick up the other cup and take a gulp. My mouth explodes into a spontaneous orgasm. I've never drunk such great coffee.

"Ah!" I can't help the moan that escapes me.

"Delicious, huh?" he chuckles.

"To die for."

"It's Lavazza – the best Italian coffee," Carlisle explains. "If brewed correctly, it provides a unique experience."

"It is. It's amazing," I tell him. "Thank you."

The magical coffee seems to loosen my nerves, and soon I'm telling him about myself. He's shocked to hear about my degree in business and the field I'm working in – they are polar opposites.

"When I was fired from the bank, I couldn't find another decent job anywhere on such short notice, and Jasper's bill kept growing." I sigh. "I accepted Emmett's offer. One good thing it did – I got bulkier," I joke.

Shit.

_Am I flirting with him?_

"I can see." He winks.

We're definitely flirting.

"You look pretty fit for a doc," I say, before I have time to process it.

"I go to the gym every week when I have some spare time," he answers, before I can correct my mistake.

"I exercise every day. At work," I mutter. "And home when I carry Kenna."

He grins. "She's really sweet."

"That she is. I have no idea how I would have reacted to Jasper's death if she wasn't around. She's my reason to fight," I admit. "There are times when I feel I've hit rock-bottom, but her smile makes me pick myself up and keep on fighting."

"It's important that you realized she needs you. There are parents that can't cope with the loss of their partner and they neglect their kid."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," I whisper, checking his face. He looks sad and deep in thought.

His blue eyes meet mine and I realize he's the neglected kid.

"Oh, I've kept you here for hours! Your daughter isn't alone, is she?" he asks, concerned.

Way to change the subject.

"She's fine – with my friend. But yes, I have indulged for too long. Thank you for the coffee."

I get up and wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans.

"I'll cover the bill for her."

"Thank you again," I whisper and grab his hand, shaking it. "I promise to pay you back the moment I have the money."

"Don't worry about it," he dismisses it.

Five hundred is probably like fifty bucks to him.

Some have all the luck in the world.

We walk to the front door, where I sling the strap of my backpack over my shoulder. I have no idea how to say good bye.

"Well, I'll see you around," I mumble, looking at my shoes.

"Thank you for accepting my offer. I had fun," he tells me. "Good night, Edward."

"Good night."

And I leave…more like hightail it down the alley.

He lives a fifteen minute jog away from my humble studio.

On my way home, it starts raining and I realize my sneakers are on their last legs. My socks are wet.

I dump the backpack near the door and go to put on a clean pair of socks, then sit on the bed to inspect my sneakers.

Holy fuck!

There's a perpendicular cut on the sole. Crap.

Time to visit the convenience store.

* **WRP** *

After my evening with the doc, my life goes on like before. If I see him around, considering he lives in the same block, I avoid him. And I know he spotted me a few times, but I have no idea what to tell him, how to act around him.

He's out of my league.

I don't know how to interact with a doctor.

I spend my days in a maddening routine between work and Kenna. She's extra agitated lately for some reason and I'm reaching my limit.

Three months later, I'm finally done with Jasper's bill and have been able to save to pay back the doc.

During weather that no sane person would even take a dog out in, I'm walking to Carlisle's house. I want to pay back my debt, then forget him. Kenna's with Bella again and she promised to keep her for the weekend.

I stop when I reach his front door, staring at it for a full minute, before I get the courage to knock. A loud moan stops my knuckles, millimeters from the door.

I'm a fucking idiot.

"Ow, man!"

"Serves you right! Stop blocking me!" I hear Carlisle laughing.

"Stop hitting me, dude! Keep it to your bedroom activities," the other person protests.

Maybe it's not what I'm thinking.

I decide to knock anyway since I'm here.

"Finally!" the other person bellows, and I hear feet thumping to the door. It's wrenched open, and I'm face to…er, chest, with a tall guy. "You're not the pizza dude. Carl, do you have a booty call in waiting?" this huge man shouts over his shoulder.

_Booty call?_ I think, horrified.

"You know full well I don't do booty calls!" Carlisle yells.

"Sorry. Goodbye," the tall guy says, and makes to close the door.

I stick my foot between the jamb and the door.

Bad idea.

I think I'm dying of pain.

It's so not like in the movies.

Carlisle appears around the corner when I yell in pain. His eyes widen as he pushes his friend away and comes to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asks, shocked. "Are you hurt?"

"He broke my foot," I moan, squeezing my eyes shut.

_Don't start crying like a pussy, Edward._

"Now, wait a moment, Booty Call! I didn't tell you to stick your foot there."

"It could have been my hand – _worse_!" I grumble.

"Carl, you know Booty Call, here?"

"For fuck's sake!" I shout. "I'm not his booty call!"

In that second I realize something.

If this guy thinks I'm Carlisle's booty call…

_He's gay._

Like me.

_Don't get your hopes up. He's out of your league, remember?_

Fuck you, Voice of Reason!

"Felix, can you leave us alone?" Carlisle whispers.

Grumbling under his breath, Felix turns on his heel and disappears inside the house.

"Edward? Why are you here?"

I gulp and avoid his eyes.

"I brought you the money. I'm sorry…for interrupting…" I wave toward the spot his friend had been.

"Don't worry about him. He's just waiting for someone. Oh, come in. Let me see your foot," he says quietly, when I hiss after moving my right foot.

With his help, I hop to his leather couch and slump onto it. My poor foot is throbbing.

Carlisle takes his friend away – to the kitchen. Stupid house without walls. They try to be quiet, but I hear them. They're kinda fighting about me.

Felix ends up leaving soon after Carlisle takes a bag of frozen peas from the freezer.

He unties my sneaker and pulls it off, along with the sock. I hiss and claw at his couch.

"It's not broken," he announces to me. "But it's going to be tender for a few days."

"I can't afford it _to be tender for a few days_!" I snap. I'm an asshole. "Sorry, but I just started a new project…I need to work…I need the money."

"Do you work on the weekend, too?" he asks, cocking his head.

"No."

It looks like he's pondering something. "Is your daughter with someone?"

_What the hell?_

"Yes."

"If you accept my offer…you can stay here over the weekend. I'll take care of your foot and make sure you don't move around."

My eyes widen.

I came here to give him the stupid money and forget about him…and I'm stuck with him.

_Fuck you, Fate!_

The last time I got stuck with someone in a room, I ended up marrying the person.

"Oh, okay." I shrug.

Whatever.

_Hit me with your best shot, Fate._

You always find a way to hurt me.

 


	4. Chapter 4

An hour later, my foot wrapped in a white bandage, we have pizza and beer and watch a movie.

My leg's elevated on the coffee table and the painkillers are taking effect. I'm going to fall asleep any minute, but I'm fighting to keep my eyes open.

From the corner of my eye, I see Carlisle getting up and leaving the room, taking the stairs. I don't remember seeing him return, but some time later when I open my eyes, he's next to me; focused on the TV.

"Uh, am I really allowed to crash here?" I slur out, looking at him through bleary eyes.

"Of course, you're staying. I wanted to tell you earlier that I prepared the spare room, but you were asleep," he says quietly. "Let's get you there."

Mostly supported by him, I hop up the stairs and into the first room to the right. I don't get to look around much - the bed is soft and perfect.

In the morning, it takes me a full minute to realize what's going on and where I am.

Unsure how to act around him, I take my time in the attached bathroom – he has spare everything, from a toothbrush to a shaving kit. When I'm out of things to do, I descend.

My worries are gone when I realize I'm alone.

There's a note on the kitchen island.

_Edward,_

_I'm sorry to desert you. I hope you can fend for yourself for a few hours._

_I've been called into work._

_Please, don't go. I meant it when I said you can spend the weekend._

_You can find anything you may want in the kitchen, and if it's not too much to ask, can you go in the cellar and choose a wine to go with our lunch?_

_Carlisle_

_PS: The cellar has the white door. The other is locked and I don't recommend going in there…_

No shit?

 _Keeping dead bodies in there?_ I idly wonder.

Sighing heavily, knowing I can't leave because of my foot, I snoop around his kitchen for breakfast. The man's all about organic shit - I can't find decent cereal in his house.

I situate myself in front of his plasma TV, with my organic cereal bar and a glass of milk, then start flipping through the hundreds of channels. It's too early for anything decent.

When the clock catches my eye, I realize it's close to noon. I have no idea when I woke up and how much time has passed, but I decide to call Bella and check on my little munchkin. I hope the doc won't mind if I use his phone for five minutes.

After briefly filling Bella in with the news, she puts Kenna on.

"Daddy!" she squeals.

"Hey, angel! Are you being good for Bella?"

"Yes! We eating gummy beas!" she squeals.

Gummy bears? Ungh.

"Not too many, okay?" I plead.

"Okay, Daddy."

"Be good and listen to her. I'll pick you up from kindergarten on Monday."

"I miss you," she mumbles so brokenly that my heart twists.

"I miss you too, baby. Can you give me Bella again?"

"Yes?" Bella asks after a moment.

"I'll call you again if I can, if not…I'm taking Kenna from kindergarten on Monday, okay?"

"Are you sure? I can do it."

"Yes. I miss her."

We say goodbye, then I remember about the wine.

Shit.

I shuffle to the basement door, open it, and am grateful to see a railing there. Gripping it tightly, I hop down.

There are two doors – one black, one white.

I open the white one as told and nearly faint at the sight in front of me. It's a real cellar.

The doc has hundreds of bottles of wine.

I browse through the sea of shelves and settle on a '95 Chardonnay.

As I leave the cellar, my curiosity gets the better of me and I put the bottle on the first step, then try the handle of the black door. It gives away, so it's not locked. Good – he doesn't have dead bodies in here.

It's pitch black in here and I fumble for the switch, which seems to be missing.

Huh?

"What the fuck?" I grumble, and keep searching instead of just leaving. It's clear I shouldn't be here.

Finally, I find a round object and turn it around – the room bursts into light and I'm momentarily blinded.

As my eyes adjust to the light, my heart picks up and my eyes widen.

He's going to kill me.

I have no idea what I'm looking at, but those are definitely torture objects.

I need to leave. Fast.

In my haste, I forget the light is on and the door open. I just grab the wine bottle and hop up the stairs.

I'm closing the fridge door, when I hear keys in the lock - he's home.

I try to act natural, and in my hurry to do something mundane, I stumble over a chair, nearly falling.

"Hello!" he calls from the hallway. "I finally made it home. There was an accident…"

He's babbling and I let him talk, staring at him and wondering what kind of a person he really is.

Suddenly, I realize he's staring into my eyes, expecting an answer from me, but I didn't hear the question.

"Sorry?" I mumble, averting my eyes.

"I asked how's your day been?" He grins.

"Good…had an organic breakfast and watched TV." I shrug.

"Oh, right. I forgot to tell you about food. Yesterday's pizza was a one-time thing. Actually, Felix ordered it. I usually eat healthy."

"I figured," I mutter.

He goes to freshen up, then starts making our lunch and I help him.

As we talk more, I realize he's not really a bad guy, but my mind wanders back to what's behind the black door in the basement.

Suddenly, he stops stirring the mashed potatoes and looks up at me. "What kind of wine did you put to cool?"

"Chardonnay."

"Hmm…I have a better idea." He smirks, as he hands me the mixer, wipes his hands on a dishtowel and hurries out the door.

I start the mixer, glancing apprehensively over my shoulder.

I should have switched the light off - and closed the door.

Holy shit.

Carlisle returns five minutes later with a dusty bottle of wine and places it in the special support in the refrigerator. He's whistling, looking cheerful.

Maybe he missed my mistake.

Yeah, right.

When we sit at the table, he pours some of the red liquid into a tulip glass. Offering it to me, he tells me it's Italian Chianti. I bet I'm drinking something that's more expensive than my studio and car combined.

I swirl the wine in my glass like I've seen in the movies, then I sniff it, inhaling the wonderful smell of the bouquet and finally, I taste it. He seems to live big, because my mouth explodes in an orgasm-like sensation – like when I drank that coffee.

"Oh, God!" I moan, licking my lips. "Amazing."

He grins, inclining his head and sipping from his glass. "Dig in."

I do so immediately, since I'm famished after that unsatisfying breakfast.

He asks me more about what I'm working on and I answer him, telling him that we have a few big rehabilitations for some important buildings lined up, but I don't know much.

"I think my hospital is one of them," he contemplates. "It's in bad shape."

"On the outside," I agree.

"Yes. The inside provides the newest technology available."

I cut a piece of my beef. "I'll let you know if we start working on the hospital."

He smiles and it's breathtaking. It's easy being with him.

While we wash the dishes, his fingers keep brushing mine as he hands me plates and cutlery to dry. I can see something shifting in his demeanor. His blue eyes have frosted. His movements are nearly brutal, making me almost drop what he hands me a few times. He's more demanding.

"Did something happen?" I ask shocked, as he twists the knob of the sink and dries his hands, throwing the dishtowel away.

"You know what happened," Carlisle answers flatly.

Holy shit!

The light and the door!

"I swear…"

"I told you not to go in there!"

I look down, feeling berated. "I really didn't mean any harm. I won't tell anyone."

"That doesn't worry me," he whispers. "You have amazing potential. A little training would work miracles."

"What?" I squeak and take a step back.

 _Ow_. My foot hurts.

"Let me take care of you. In return, you'll help me, too."

"What do you want from me?" I mumble, feeling queasy.

He comes closer and cups my cheek, stroking it softly. "I want your submission."

I gulp thickly. My meal is trying to crawl its way up.

I've heard of this shit.

He's going to tie me to that creepy device in his dungeon and beat me.

He must see the fear in my eyes, because he steps even closer, taking my hand. "I will never hurt you…unless you deserve it." There's a smirk on his full lips.

I'm in such deep shit!

All my instincts are telling me to run out the door and never look back.

But I can't.

Something in his voice, in his eyes, in his touch, keeps me there – rooted on spot.


	5. Chapter 5

_I want your submission._

The words play in my head on repeat.

Carlisle is still stroking my face, watching me apprehensively.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I mumble, averting my eyes.

"Would you like to learn more about this? Are you willing to try this?" he asks gently. "I need your answer, so we see where we stand. If you say no, there will be no hard feelings, though I will be disappointed. I won't lie, but I will never force you. If you say yes…" A large grin spreads on his face. "Well, then we have a lot to discuss."

"Are you going to hurt me?" I ask in a shaky voice as I lean against the counter.

"Of course not! People have a preconceived image of what this means. They think we beat others to get off. True, some do that – not me." His blue eyes gaze into my green ones. "I always aim to please – my sub and myself. Always."

His soft voice hypnotizes me leading me to believe him.

"Then what's that thing in the basement?" I blurt out, my heart beating out of my chest.

"What's your answer, Edward?"

I want to say _no_ and just leave. But I can't. I'm too fucking curious for my own good.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" he challenges me.

"Yes, I want to…try this. To understand you." I hope he realizes I haven't said _yes_ to this insanity of a lifestyle.

"Thank you." Carlisle twines our hands and leads me to the basement.

_Shit_.

I hope he's not going to hurt me.

_Fuck_.

I try to stop at the top of the stairs that lead to the basement, but he tugs at my hand, helping me down the stairs.

I'm so fucked!

Expertly, he flips the switch on without fumbling, then takes me into the creepy room.

"Edward." He turns to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "First of all, I want to know if you'd be okay with me touching you."

_You're_ _already_ _touching_ _me_ , I think to myself.

I nod, unsure if I can talk.

"Good. Second, I want to show you the pleasure we both can get out of a session. If you're okay with this? I promise not to use anything…unless you want."

"Use…what?" I squeak out, my eyes darting around the room before settling back on his face. The room gives me the creeps.

A wry smile appears on his lips. "I won't use any toys on you."

_How did I get myself into this mess, again?_

"Uh, sure," I mutter.

"What scares you? Please, talk to me. If you accept this, you must know we need to trust each other and always know how the other feels."

"This room!" I nearly wail, and feel like a pathetic little kid scared of the monsters under the bed.

He chuckles. "Let me introduce you to this room. Maybe it won't scare you anymore once you know it." With his hand firmly clasped around mine, he walks me to a chest of drawers near the door.

"Okay, here, I keep all my equipment for inducing pleasure and pain." He opens one of the drawers and takes out an odd whip. I think it's a whip, at least. "This is cat o' nine tails, or short – the cat." I stare at the long whip which ends with nine plaited thongs. "This usually brings pain, but its stroke can be pleasurable at times."

I nod, and without thinking, I reach for another _piece of equipment_ that looks interesting. Carlisle's hand grabs my wrist almost painfully hard.

"No. You don't touch them," he says authoritatively. "What grabbed your attention?"

I point a shaky finger to the object. It looks like a spatula, but not quite. "Did you misplace this?" I ask curiously. It belongs in the kitchen, right?

Right?

Shit. I don't know anything any more.

He chuckles hoarsely. "This is a paddle. It's used for erotic purposes. Would you like to try it sometime?" he offers.

"Uh…"

I gulp thickly, eyeing the object warily.

Carlisle turns the hand he's holding around – wrist up – and after a fleeting glance at me, he swats the paddle to my palm.

"OW!" I shout, retracting my hand and cradling it to my chest.

Didn't he say he wouldn't put any shit on me?

The pain subsides, leaving a dull ache…pleasurable.

He snickers, his eyes on my face.

"Imagine that kind of feeling…here." He strokes a hand over my ass. "Just imagine it."

I shiver violently. To my mortification, my dick stirs to life. To embarrass me further, Carlisle ghosts the wooden paddle over my ass, not hitting. His actions trigger a low moan from deep in my throat.

He groans in answer to my response and squeezes my left ass cheek with his hand.

"Kneel," he commands in a lust-filled voice.

I don't wait to process his word. I just do as I'm told.

"Beautiful," he whispers and strokes my hair.

I feel something bubbling in my chest, and when he looks proudly at me, I feel the warm feeling engulfing me, making my heart swell.

It's pride at making him feel proud of me.

I feel important.

After stroking my jaw with one finger, he puts the paddle away.

_Ah, no!_

I nearly shout the words, but something keeps me from opening my mouth.

Carlisle unties his scrubs.

Why didn't I realize how hot he looks in scrubs before?

And he's going commando.

And hard.

Damn, it's been too long since I've seen another dick besides mine. His is a little longer than average, but compensates in girth.

Fuuuck.

To have that inside me.

I feel my own dick leaking inside my pants.

He steps closer as his hand tugs at my jaw. I let it fall open immediately.

"You truly are a natural at this," he murmurs, and runs the wet tip of his dick over my lips. "Suck me, boy."

I resist the urge to moan.

I resist the urge to take my dick out and rub it.

All I do is put my hands on his slim hips to help me, but he pushes them away.

"Link your hands behind you. Use only your mouth."

I'm not sure I can do it.

My balance is shit, but I try.

His fingers thread through my locks, fisting them, keeping my head in place as he starts fucking my mouth.

Come to think, I always allowed Jazz to take from me when I gave him head. I loved it when he fucked my mouth.

_I'm rediscovering myself_ , I think, amused.

"I need your focus here," Carlisle reminds me, tightening his grip on my hair.

It almost hurts, but the pain radiating from my scalp seems to be connected to my dick, which hardens further.

I wrap my tongue around his mushroom head when Carlisle pulls out. His eyes roll back in his head before he shoves his rod deep down my throat.

This is something I was never able to do…so I gag and choke and sputter.

He pulls out, looking concerned at me.

"Breathe through your nose."

I nod, and after swallowing a couple times, I open my mouth again. He doesn't waste any time and plunges deep again. Again, I gag, my eyes watering. He doesn't move away and I feel my throat clamping around him.

One of his hands strokes my hair, moving it from my eyes. "Focus on your breathing, Edward."

I can't.

I can't breathe!

I start shaking my head, trying to escape him as I gag again and more tears leak down my cheeks.

He won't budge.

He's going to suffocate me with his dick.

To seal the deal, his hand wraps around my throat, massaging the spot where – on the inside – his dick is resting.

I give another feeble gag and try to swallow around him, hoping to dull the sensation. He moans and if possible, he thrusts even further. My lips have never been this open – the corners of my mouth are going to split.

"Look at me. Look into my eyes," he commands gently.

I raise my eyes and stare at him as my lips rest on his trimmed pubic hair.

"See? You're doing wonderful. It's been a full minute since you stopped fighting."

I realize I'm breathing harshly through my nose, inhaling his musky, leathery, slightly hospital scent.

Wow.

"Now, make me cum with this pretty mouth of yours." He leaves my throat, only to start moving my head over his dick at a punishing pace.

I'm enjoying this, which is weird.

We had done our fair share of kinky stuff, but I never allowed Jazz to possess me this way. And I never was in charge, not even when I topped him.

That must mean something about my character.

Maybe Carlisle is right.

Maybe…I truly am like this. I always liked to please everyone around me, not caring much about myself.

"Focus on me, boy!" Carlisle grips my hair tighter and roughly shoves his dick down my throat a few times.

I gag again, but he doesn't seem to care anymore.

He's on the brink, I can tell.

His toes are curled inward.

His fingers are flexing against my scalp, making his nails scratch me. The sensation shoots straight to my dick.

I watch his taut muscles as he flexes his hips in and out of my mouth.

"AHHH!" His loud shout, his nails digging into my scalp, his cum squirting down my throat…it's too much for my tormented body.

I moan around his still hard dick as mine erupts in my pants.


	6. Chapter 6

Before I know what's happening, Carlisle grabs my bicep and pulls me up.

"Red means the scene ends immediately, yellow means you wish to slow down what we are doing, and green means you wish to continue," he dictates.

I don't have time to answer before he leads me to a wooden object – it looks like a small coffee table, but is covered in a layer of leather.

"Undress," he commands.

I'm too shocked to not listen to him.

What have I done?

I must have done something to upset him. But what?

Unsure if I'm allowed to sit on the unknown object, I lean against it as I free my legs from my pants. Even my foot has stopped hurting me.

I jump, startled, when the first sounds of _Down_ _With_ _The_ _Sickness_ fill the room.

Huh.

The doc fucks to music.

"Good," Carlisle murmurs as he returns to my side. "Now kneel and press your torso to the bench. I want your palms on the floor on the other side of the bench, and your legs spread shoulder width. _Now_!"

I quickly comply, fear gripping at my insides.

"What happened?" I mumble as I take the position.

"Did I allow you to speak, Copper?"

I hate being called that. I feel my muscles tensing as I bite my tongue.

"Oh, you don't like being called that? Good. That's your nickname when you misbehave." He strokes my hair slowly. "Did I give you permission to cum? No. What did you do? You made a mess in your boxers like a thirteen year old."

My cheeks burn in embarrassment.

"I don't want any sound from you, unless you need to speak one of the words I told you. Green, yellow, red. Nod if you agree."

I nod quickly.

"I won't introduce you to anything new, considering it's the first time and I don't want to overwhelm you. I don't want you running away when we leave this room," he says calmly.

I hear him walking away, probably to retrieve the paddle – I hope that's it. That's the only thing he has shown me, and thankfully, it didn't cause pain.

I focus on the song to ebb my growing fear of what's to come.

 _Looking at my own reflection_  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes (oh no)  
There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon in me

He approaches again, and there's a moment when I don't hear him at all. Then my right buttock bursts in flames as something hits it. Hard.

I gasp loudly, scratching my nails on the floor and moving my ass to the left – away from the pain.

"Don't move. Don't make me cuff you," he snaps, making me freeze. "That was just my hand. I'll now introduce you to what the paddle can do. And how I wished to give you pleasure with it before pain." He sounds disappointed and it's gut-retching.

 _And when I dream_  
No mommy, don't do it again  
Don't do it again  
I'll be a good boy

The paddle flies swiftly through the air, cutting it, before landing on top of my ass.

Fuck.

 _I'll be a good boy, I promise_  
No mommy don't hit me  
Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?  
Don't do it, you're hurting me

Carlisle keeps hitting me, blow after blow. My ass grows numb and I stifle a sob.

 _Why did you have to be such a bitch_  
Why don't you,  
Why don't you just fuck off and die  
Why can't you just fuck off and die  
Why can't you just leave here and die  
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch  
FUCK YOU  
I don't need this shit  
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore  
How would you like to see how it feels mommy  
Here it comes, get ready to die

A blow lands on my crack, touching my balls.

"Y-y-ellow!" I shout, squirming away.

 _It seems you're having some trouble_  
In dealing with these changes  
Living with these changes (oh no)  
The world is a scary place  
Now that you've woken up the demon in me

He appears before my eyes and cradles my face in his hands. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"It…hurts," I mumble, staring into his concerned, blue eyes.

"Punishments are meant to hurt, Edward. I really didn't want you in this position so soon, believe me."

"I'm sorry."

"You might rethink that answer."

I gulp. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"Hmm…better. For now." He kisses my lips, then stands.

It's the first time he's kissed me.

As his hand ghosts over my probably red ass, I lick my lips. I want to kiss him again.

Ah, I want so much more.

"Five more," he whispers.

I nod, remembering I'm not allowed to talk.

I bite on my lip as he administers those last blows.

As the last line of the song comes, the blows stop.

_Madness has now come over me_

I tend to believe the song.

I've gone mad.

The music stops just as the next song begins.

We're silent for the better part of the next five minutes.

I sag against the bench – as Carlisle called it – and try to ignore the pain radiating from my ass. Huh. And I thought it hurt when Dad used to spank me as a little boy for misbehaving.

"Get up, Edward. Sit on the bench," he orders quietly, and I scramble up in position.

 _What now?_ I wonder idly.

Shit. It hurts.

"I'll tend to your lovely ass in a minute. I need to see how your foot is," he explains, crouching at my feet.

It's odd to suddenly have him kneeling before me. He unwraps my foot and twists it a little, plying it. When I hiss in pain, he shoots me a concerned look.

"I'm afraid it's not as minor as I thought. It's severely bruised."

I growl under my breath. "No shit? Did you ever catch your foot in a door?"

"Edward, I won't tolerate this attitude in here!"

"Sorry…Sir."

He nods curtly and offers me his hand. He helps me into my boxers––just my boxers––then we leave the room.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders as I step out of there. As we reach the living room basked in the evening's sun, I realize what's happened in that room.

"No hard feelings?" he checks, as if reading my mind.

"I'm trying to take it in," I mumble.

"Come, sit across my lap so I can take care of you," Carlisle says gently, sitting on the couch. I lie face down, across his lap, thinking of what just happened.

Do I really want something like this?

I felt free, somehow, while I gave up all my control.

I enjoyed forgetting about my shitty life, even for a few hours.

After pushing my boxers lower, his cold hand touches my ass. It surprises me, but the cream he's rubbing into my skin soothes the ache.

"I'm truly sorry for being so rough," he murmurs. "That was your first session and we haven't discussed rules or hard limits. I've been irresponsible. Forgive me, Edward."

I have no idea what he's talking about, but it's nice that he apologizes.

"It's okay…Sir."

He tugs my boxers up and helps me to sit next to him. I lean into his side, putting as little pressure on my ass as possible.

"Outside the Playroom, I'm Carlisle – your friend." He offers me a small smile. "And more…if you'd like."

He's so fucking gorgeous. "I'd like that."

"Before we progress with any kind of conversation, I want you to know that I chose this path purely to satisfy my needs. You see, none of my boyfriends lasted long because of my hectic schedule."

"It's understandable. You're a doctor." I shrug.

"You are one of the few to understand," he responds. "If you truly want to make this work, you've got to do it on my terms."

"Anything. I really enjoy your company and…" I feel my cheeks reddening. "What just happened…"

He smirks and links our hands on his thigh. "We'll discuss all the needed rules, but now, I'm hungry. What about you?"

I nod, just as my stomach growls loudly.

I poke it subconsciously. _Shut up, stupid_.

Carlisle chuckles and hands me the remote. "Watch TV. I'm not allowing you to walk unless it's truly necessary."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of inspired myself for the contract from Fifty :) and a lot of Wikipedia.

Dinner means a few pieces of asparagus and some broccoli on a plate.

Carlisle sits next to me, watching the show I chose to watch, and starts eating unperturbed.

"Where's the meat?" I sound like a petulant child, but Christ, even if I barely have money, my meals contain meat.

"This is dinner. It should be light and full of vitamins for the body to assimilate while you sleep." He doesn't even turn to me as he answers mechanically.

I scowl at him, then mock him wordlessly, rolling my eyes.

"Not looking at you doesn't mean I can't see you," he points out loudly.

"Shit. Sorry, but…do you seriously eat this?" I gesture to the two strips of asparagus and three bouquets of broccoli.

"Eat up and stop whining. Or…the kitchen is all yours."

"Oh, so I'm allowed to walk, suddenly?" I mutter.

"Edward, I really want to talk to you more of my lifestyle and I want you to join it, but if you keep doing this, I'll keep punishing you. And it's all about pleasure, not pain," he says sadly.

"Tell me about it," I prompt him. "I'll eat this."

He shakes his head, amused. After turning off the TV, he turns to me, tucking his feet under him.

"Ask me anything, and then I'll go over the rules."

"Were you always…into this?" I ask, unsure how to call him.

"No." Carlisle shakes his head. "Actually, that's an interesting story." He chuckles. "I was in my last year of med school and with boyfriend number five, probably. They never lasted, as I told you." I nod to show I remember. "Well, Mark found this club on the Internet and begged me to go there. He was quite the exhibitionist. We didn't think much of the club until one hour into our stay. Then the corners of the club lit up, showing four cages where Doms and their submissives were playing. I was instantly attracted to one corner, where the sub had his arms strapped to a rope hanging from the ceiling while the Dom was flogging him." There's a faraway smile on his face. "At the end of the show, I managed to contact that Dom. He offered to teach me. The sad part is that Mark wasn't into this lifestyle – which changed my life for the better."

"And you found a man who liked this?"

"No. After Aaron trained me, he pointed me to subs that didn't have a Dom. The first few sessions were under his supervision, but as time passed, I was allowed to be alone with the chosen sub. Every time, a new one. I rarely returned to the same boy. Until Felix."

"The guy from yesterday?" I shout. They're together?

"Yes." He looks sad for some reason. "We've been together for a year. That is until two months ago, when he asked me out, sounding off. We met at a restaurant and he presented me to Demetri – his boyfriend, now. At least he came clean and told me that he fell in love. We broke up and I've immersed myself in calling twink subs – booty calls." He shoots me a look.

Oh.

That's why…

"Yes," he mumbles. "Let me grab the rules." He gets up, then turns to me. "You do want this, right?"

"I'd like to know the rules…and maybe talk about it more. It's truly liberating," I tell him.

"I relax best when I'm in the Playroom," Carlisle says with a nod. "Finish your food." With that, he turns on his heel and heads upstairs.

During the few minutes he's gone, I finish my meal. I'm staking our plates, ready to take them to the kitchen, when he returns and raises an eyebrow at me.

"Sit," he demands, pushing a stack of papers into my hands, before grabbing the plates and walks away.

So much for being helpful.

I glance at the top paper.

**D/s Rules and Limits**

Huh.

I peek at the second page, but quickly put the first one back when Carlisle joins me.

"You can look. We need to discuss them," he says calmly.

"Right." I nod and put the first page away.

_**Rules are made to be obeyed** _

I glance at him and see his blue eyes fixed on me.

Swallowing thickly, I look lower on the page.

**Honesty is a golden rule.**

**Obedience – the Submissive will obey any instructions given by the Dominant immediately without hesitation or reservation. The Submissive will agree to any sexual activity chosen by the Dominant excepting those activities which are outlined as hard limits (check Limits page)**

**Food – the Submissive will consume only healthy food, provided or accepted by the Dominant.**

**Exercise – the Submissive shall stay fit, training at least five hours a week.**

**Hygiene – the Submissive will keep himself clean, shaved and/or trimmed and/or waxed at all times.**

**Health – the Submissive will not drink to excess, smoke, take recreational drugs or put himself in the path of any danger.**

**Personal – the Submissive will not enter into any sexual relations with anyone other than The Dominant.**

I raise my eyes to him, shocked.

"Something wrong?" he asks quietly, leaning closer to me.

"The exercise bit…I think I'm doing that a lot at work," I tell him.

"Of course. Anything else?"

"I agree with everything…except the food issue. I will eat meat!"

"Oh, you will!" He smiles cunningly making me choke on my spit. "But sexual jokes aside; of course you will eat meat. It has proteins."

I nod, sighing in relief.

"Go on. Finish. Please, read the next part carefully. Ask me if something looks odd. I'm willing to test some things for you to prove they aren't as bad as they sound."

I nod again and return my attention to the papers in my hand.

**Hard & Soft Limits**

**The Submissive must write H or S after each limit, according to his preference.**

**Acts involving fire play.**

**Acts involving urination or defecation and the products thereof.**

**Acts involving needles, knives, cutting, piercing or blood.**

**Acts involving children or animals.**

**Acts that will leave any permanent marks on the skin.**

**Acts involving breath control.**

**Activity that involves the direct contact of electric current (erotic electrostimulation), fire or flames to the body.**

**Acts involving playing in public places.**

**Sexual acts:**

**\- Masturbation**

**\- Fellatio**

**\- Anal intercourse**

**\- Anal fisting**

**\- Swallowing semen**

**Sex toys:**

**\- Vibrators (anal vibrators, bullet vibrators, vibrator wands)**

**\- Dildos**

**\- Butt Plugs**

**\- Anal Beads**

**\- Nipple Clamps**

**\- Prostate massage**

**\- Sex Machine**

**\- Erotic Furniture (spanking bench, sex swings, fisting sling, bondage, smotherbox, Love Chair, St. Andrew' Cross, spreader bars)**

**\- Penile Toys (cock rings, cock harness)**

**Bondage:**

**\- Hands in front**

**\- Hands behind back**

**\- Ankles**

**\- Knees**

**\- Elbows**

**\- Wrists to ankles**

**\- Spreader bars**

**\- Tied to furniture**

**\- Blindfolding**

**\- Gagging**

**\- Bondage with rope**

**\- Bondage with tape**

**\- Bondage with handcuffs/metal restraints**

**\- Bondage with leather cuffs**

**\- Suspension**

**Types of pain/punishment/discipline:**

**\- Spanking**

**\- Paddling**

**\- Whipping**

**\- Caning**

**\- Biting**

**\- Nipple clamps**

**\- Genital clamps**

**\- Ice**

**\- Hot wax**

**\- Other types/methods of pain**

Holy fucking shit.

What I just read turns me the fuck on, and makes my skin crawl at the same time.

"Where do I sign?" I blurt out. I need to feel like I did an hour ago.

"We need to discuss your limits, but I'm beyond happy you agree to this."

For the next hour, we talk, argue and give in over the limits. Other than a few exceptions, our lists match. I left some things unmarked, wanting to test said something before deciding – like the clamps, the sex machine and the public playing.

We both agreed on no blood, urine, kids, animals, needle play. He convinced me that permanent marks on skin and the use of electric current could be pleasurable. I'll have to test that. The permanent marks mean piercings and tattoos in Carlisle's opinion.

"I've always wanted a tattoo," I find myself saying, dreamily. "Jazz was scared of needles, though."

"That's great. Oh, and another thing," Carlisle says seriously. "If you agree and sign this contract with me, I don't want to hear you complaining if I buy or pay for your food, clothes…tattoo." He looks at me pointedly.

I feel my face heating up and avert my eyes.

"Eye contact, Edward!"

I quickly look up at him. "Yes. Okay."

He smiles and takes the last page, which I completely by-passed. "You need to read this too. It's very important."

This one concerns tests and health issues. I completely agree. We need them – Carlisle needs them. I need to see if he's clean. I know I am. God knows how many tests I ran while Jazz was in the hospital. They even had poor Kenna do them.

If Carlisle needs me, I have to be available. Without doubt, that will not always be possible.

"I'm not sure about this one," I mutter, pointing to the article I just read.

"I have good and bad days at work. I usually spend my night in the playroom after bad days – those days, I want you kneeling there when I get home. It won't be often, so I bet your friend can help you. If you want…you can even bring her over. What time does your girl go to sleep?"

"It depends on her day, but usually at seven or eight." I shrug.

"Good. I'm talking ten at night for me."

I nod. "We can discuss this…if something happens and I can't come…" I suggest.

"Of course, but you'll be punished for not obeying me. It will differ based on why you couldn't arrive at the set time," he says firmly.

I have to address him only as Sir, Dr. Cullen or Master, depending on where we are.

"What about…Carlisle?" I almost pout. "I thought you wanted a relationship."

"I'll change that to meet our agreement. When we're alone, you're allowed to call me Carlisle. At the hospital, I am Dr. Cullen. When we're out with people from my cycle, I'm Sir. When we're in the Playroom, I am…" He trails off, raising his eyebrow at me.

He wants me to say it.

"M-m-as-ter," I stutter.

"A little more confident next time," he encourages me. "Now, safewords."

**The Safeword "Green" will be used to announce to the Dominant that the Submissive aggress with their activity.**

**The Safeword "Yellow" will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive is close to his limit of endurance. It will be discussed what caused distress.**

**The Safeword "Red" will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive cannot tolerate any further demands. When this word is said, the Dominant's action will cease completely with immediate effect. Once the Submissive relaxes, the scene will be discussed in detail.**

**If the Dominant makes demands that the Submissive cannot meet without incurring physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, or other harm at the time, the Submissive may make use of a chosen safeword (word which won't be used in every day conversations).**

**The Dominant: Carlisle Cullen The Submissive: Edward Masen**

**Date Date**

  



	8. Chapter 8

We decide to sleep on it and talk more in the morning.

I fall asleep thinking of a rarely used word…and come up empty.

It can be an animal, or a plant, a machine…anything.

When I wake up, I take my time in the bathroom again. I'm surprised my foot doesn't hurt as bad as yesterday, but my ass itches a little, reminding me of our talk last night.

I can say no and probably end all connections with him. It seems he's become very important to me over the night. I can't seem to think of my future without including Carlisle in it.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him as my partner, as my… _I can't even think the word_. My Dom. My Master. _There_. I grin at myself in the mirror.

I haven't smiled like this in months, not without Kenna around me.

Holy fuck!

 _Kenna_.

Why didn't I think of her? I'm so irresponsible.

What am I going to do?

How would she react to learning that I want Carlisle in our lives?

"Carlisle!" I shout, running out of the room, before stopping shortly and hissing in pain. I make my way down the stairs slowly.

He's not in the kitchen, nor in the living room. I check the basement – not there, either.

Back upstairs, I check a room with the door open. It's his office and he's not there.

 _Crap_. Did he leave again?

Before admitting defeat, I see another room – his bedroom, most likely.

Unsure what to do, I tiptoe there and creak the door open. His arms wrapped around the pillow under his head, his face barely visible. And his ass…round and firm, barely covered by the thin sheet.

I remember why I went looking for him. Kenna.

"Carlisle!" I hiss, hovering above him.

"Mhmmm."

"We need to talk."

"Mhhmmhhm."

"Are you awake?" I frown.

A hand grabs my wrist and tugs me closer to the bed, making me lose my balance and fall next to him. His arm wraps around my waist and hugs me.

I'm in his arms!

I'm not sure if he knows what's going on, but _fuck_ , it feels amazing.

"Why are you interrupting my sleep?" he mumbles sleepily into his pillow.

"We need to discuss how this will affect Kenna. I have no idea how she'd react to this," I voice my worries.

"What time is it?" he mutters, not moving his head.

I glance at his nightstand. "Nine."

"Does she like pancakes?" Carlisle asks into his pillow, sounding a little more awake.

"Duh!"

His arm tightens around me. "Don't get smart with me." He finally raises his head, sternly looking at me. He's so handsome, all sleepy and rumpled. "Fine. Call her and tell her to be ready for us in half an hour. We're going to IHOP."

"Uh, are you sure?"

"Just do it!"

"Can I use your phone?" I ask shyly.

His blue eyes open wide. "Do you not have a cell phone?"

My cheeks turn red in embarrassment. "I had to give it up."

"My mobile is there." He points to the nightstand. "The landline phone is downstairs."

I know. Now I feel guilty for using it without permission.

"I'll use the one downstairs while you…get ready."

Before I can leave the bed, he cups my cheek. "Is your foot okay?"

I nod, unable to answer. I'm staring at his luscious, pink lips. He realizes it, and licks them before closing the gap between us and kissing me softly.

I call just in time, because Bella is preparing breakfast. I tell her not to give Kenna anything. I'm taking her out. After a few annoying questions, I tell her that _yes_ , there's someone else joining us.

The drive to Bella's is short, but Carlisle surprises me by taking my hand.

"I really want to try this. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't miss having someone in my life. The…uh, booty calls fulfilled only a part of my need," he says quietly as he parks the car where I direct him.

"I missed it too, but never thought I'd try it again," I admit, just as the front door opens and Kenna zooms out with Bella close behind her.

I step out of the car and catch her just as she throws herself at me, clinging to me like a little koala bear.

After a few words with Bella, I take Kenna to the car and sit in the back with her. When Carlisle looks surprised at me, I tell him that he doesn't have a booster seat – like the one in my car fits her anymore. It's just my excuse to be close to my little angel.

She tells me about her time with Bella and Jacob.

Carlisle catches my eye when she tells me about the chocolate. He's amused, while I'm horrified. I rarely allow her so much chocolate.

When we reach our destination, Kenna is all wide-eyed and skipping next to me. She hasn't visited IHOP in a very long time. I doubt she even remembers her first trip.

We get seated, and then stare at the menus.

"What would you like to eat, baby?" I ask, looking down at her.

"Pancakes!"

Of course. "You?" I turn to Carlisle.

"A breakfast combo. You should try it," he says smiling.

"I think I will," I decide and step forward.

"Good morning!" the young lady greets us with a huge smile.

"Good morning," I reply. "We'd like a plate of pancakes and two breakfast combos."

"Pancakes for the little one?" she asks, peering at Kenna.

"Yep." My angel nods vigorously, beaming.

"Can I suggest something from the kid's menu? **Create-A-Face Pancake** is a big buttermilk pancake with strawberry eyes, a whipped topping nose, and a fresh banana smile. It's served with a tube of low-fat strawberry yogurt to add your own special touch," she explains.

"Oh." I glance at Carlisle, who nods and the girl starts typing away.

"And a coffee for me," he adds.

"Make it two." I have a feeling it's going to be a long day. "Do you want anything to drink? Orange juice? Milk?" I look at Kenna.

"We have chocolate milk," the girl offers with a smile.

That settles the deal. The girl leaves and we wait at our table.

Kenna clambers on a chair next to me and stares at Carlisle. Oh, shit. I didn't even introduce them.

"Love, this is my new friend, Carlisle," I tell her softly, stroking her hair out of her eyes.

"You the doc who make boo-boo all better?"

Carlisle chuckles and nods. "Is it better?"

"It's gone!" Kenna beams at him.

We sit in silence until our breakfast arrives. I keep staring at Carlisle and he looks worried. We need to tell Kenna more – that he won't be just my friend. I'm scared shitless of her reaction.

When our food arrives, she picks the slices of banana and puts them on my plate. She doesn't like it for some reason, and I'm not forcing her.

Carlisle watches us amused as he digs into his plate. I roll my eyes and pile the five slices of banana on the edge of my plate for later.

"Do you not like banana?" he asks Kenna.

"Yuck!" She makes a face as she pours yogurt and syrup over her pancakes. She's going to be on a sugar high the whole day.

"But they're full of proteins," Carlisle insists. "Is it the smell or taste that you don't like?"

I have a feeling he's in doctor mode. And I'm curious myself why she doesn't like them. She used to eat them as a baby. Mashed bananas for breakfast – she inhaled them in a few moments.

After she cuts a piece of pancake and shoves it in her mouth, she looks seriously at Carlisle. "Daddy Jay said bananas awe for adults."

I choke on my bite and feel my eyes watering. Since my coffee is still too hot, I reach for Kenna's chocolate milk to wash down my food.

Trust Jazz to joke about that with her.

What do I tell her now?

God, why isn't there a book about this?

"Love, Jasper didn't like bananas and I bet that's why he told you that. But you used to eat them," I explain. I hope it's a good answer for her.

"Oh. They taste yucky!"

"Okay, okay. No bananas," I placate her before she can start crying.

"What do you like to eat most?" Carlisle asks her. I can see he likes her, and I truly hope the feeling is mutual.

"Chocolate. Lots of chocolate!"

"And carrots," I add, pinching her cheek.

"Yes." She nods furiously. "Like bunnies!"

"Yes. My little bunny." I squeeze her to my side. "Now, eat up."

Carlisle starts telling me about his obsession with healthy food, good coffee, and fine wine. He inherited a lot of money from his grandfather and that combined with his chosen career drove him to this life.

"We try to eat healthy, too," I tell him, shrugging. "But I indulge her with some fast-food sometimes."

He scrunches his nose. "If I feel like grease, I make my own fast food. It's much healthier."

"And expensive," I add sourly.

"Not really, but from now on you must promise me to never step foot in such places. I have everything you may need to prepare a burger or fries or chicken wings," he tells me seriously.

I'm surprised I'm not feeling embarrassed or ashamed. I'm grateful he offers to help. It's there…in that contract…that he'll provide me with anything I may need.

Suddenly, Kenna turns to me frowning. "Awe you sick, Daddy?"

I find myself frowning back at her. "No, sweetie. Why do you ask?"

"Why is doc here?"

Oh.

"I'm your daddy's friend and I wanted to take you two out for breakfast," Carlisle explains.

"Like our breakfast fing?" she whispers to me, her lower lip quivering.

Oh, crap.

Why didn't I think of how much she loved our – mine, Jazz's and her – breakfast thing?

"Not really. We won't make a habit out of it. Carlisle just wanted to meet you in person. Outside the hospital."

"Why? He's your fwend," she mumbles.

He catches my eye and I nod for him to say it. My words are stuck in my throat.

"Well, I'm hoping that in time I'll be more than your daddy's friend, and for that I need to know you too," Carlisle says softly.

Kenna frowns, looking at him confused before meeting my eyes. Hers are wet and big.

"You wanna change Daddy Jay?"

"Oh, no, baby." I drag her on my lap. "I can't replace Jazz. He'll always hold a special place in my heart, just like he does in yours," I explain. "I'm just…Carlisle is…" I gulp, having no idea how to go on.

"I really like your dad, and you're quite charming yourself. We were both lonely before we met, and now…that we met…" He rubs his temple. It sounds too cliché, what he's saying. "I want to be there next to him and to help him bring you up. Would you like that?"

We're failing at this.

It's refreshing to see that even calm, collect, and in control Carlisle loses himself around my Kenna.

His question goes unanswered for a minute while Kenna dips a piece of pancake in the yogurt before offering her fork to him.

Whoa.

She just accepted him. In her own way.

Carlisle leans to bite, but she snatches the fork giggling and sticking it into her mouth, humming.

"Makenna!" I gasp, shocked and amused.

Carlisle laughs loudly, making her giggle harder.


	9. Chapter 9

After we leave IHOP, Carlisle suggests the park. Kenna agrees eagerly, not even asking me if it's okay.

She seems to forget everything Jazz and I taught her when she's around Carlisle. It's kind of a good thing, because it proves she accepts him.

As we walk down the alleys in the park, she holds my hand, keeping quiet, allowing me to talk with Carlisle about whatever we want.

"I've been thinking of a safeword for ending our agreement," I whisper, glancing at him.

"You haven't even signed anything, Edward."

"Do you want to hear it or not?" I ask impatiently.

He shrugs. "As long as it's not something lame."

"Wanweird," I state proudly.

"Sorry?" He frowns, looking at me confused.

"It means an unhappy fate. I once searched rarely used words on the Internet…when I was bored…and I had a connection and a computer," I finish in a mumble.

"It's an appropriate word. We can head to my house after our walk, and you can sign the papers and add this safeword while I prepare lunch," he offers.

"Great."

I don't get to say more because Kenna tugs at my hand, pointing to my right side where a guy is painting kids' faces.

"I'm not so sure, baby," I tell her. "We don't know what kind of paint he uses."

"They're using non-acrylic paint," Carlisle explains.

"No shit?" I mutter under my breath. When he sees my narrowed eyes, he realizes I told her that just because I don't want her face painted. But the sad look she gets breaks my heart.

I steer her that way and earn a squeal from my princess.

"You the best, Daddy! I love you!"

"Love you too, baby." I crouch to her level and kiss her cheek. "What would you like to get?"

We inspect the designs together for a few minutes. She settles on a rainbow and unicorn one. At least it's not a cat or butterfly or princess thing like everyone else. My baby's original.

 

She's giggling constantly as the man runs the brush over her face. I bet it's cold and it tickles more.

"So why this design?" he asks her.

She shoots me a big smile. "Daddy love 'ainbows!"

"Yeah, I'm still searching for the treasure at the end of the rainbow," I joke.

I know she didn't mean it in a bad way, but I can see the guy eyeing me suspiciously. I realize he doesn't have a reason to think anything of me because Carlisle seems to be MIA.

Just as I turn and look around, I see him strutting toward us with a huge cotton candy.

"You're paying the dentist," I snap before I realize I opened my mouth.

"Whatever you say." He laughs. "And just for that smart remark, you don't get any. I'll share it all with Kenna." He throws her a wink, making her dissolve in a fresh round of giggles.

The man painting her face is definitely a homophobe, because he keeps glaring at us, but thankfully doesn't mess with her facial painting. When he's done, I fish in my pocket for the amount he asked, but Carlisle pushes a fifty in his hand. He then takes Kenna's hand, and waits for me to snap out of my stupor.

I quickly take her other hand and we start walking to his car. Eventually, she drops our hands as she starts eating the cotton candy.

"Careful, love. Don't smudge the paint," I warn her.

When we reach Carlisle's car, he holds the door open for her to climb in – sticky hands on the leather seats.

"Kenna…" I cringe.

"Leave her be. Kids are messy. Now get in the passenger's seat," he urges me.

We stay quiet for the majority of the drive. Until Kenna drops the bomb.

"So Mister Cawlwie is your boyfwend?"

I choke on my spit. We haven't discussed that part yet.

"I guess," Carlisle answers, throwing me a cocky grin.

"How do I caw you?" she inquires.

"However you want, sweetie."

His name is tough for her, so I try to find a solution. But she beats me to it…in the worst way possible.

"Is Daddy C, okay?"

Lucky we just parked a moment ago, because Carlisle turns to her, staring open-mouthed.

I'm about to chide her for jumping to conclusions, when Carlisle breaks into a blinding smile.

"If it's easy for you, then you can call me that, Little Bit."

She blushes and nods. Oh, really? She's all shy around… _Daddy C_? I can't help but snort at the nickname.

We go inside his house just as heavy clouds appear in the sky. It's going to start raining.

Kenna decides to be the apprentice, deserting me for Daddy C to cook our dinner. I go to his office to look over the papers once again.

I like sitting in his comfy, leather chair. As I re-read the rules, I feel a thrill of anticipation running down my spine. I can't wait to try some things.

I scribble the word "wanweird" next to the chosen safeword for out. I hope I'll never say it.

I'm hovering over the dotted line for the signature when Carlisle comes into his office. He throws me a smile and approaches, leaning down and kissing me. I can't help the moan that escapes me.

"Did you sign?" he whispers.

"I was about to do it when you came in," I answer.

"Sign," he breathes. "After we eat, we can put Kenna down for a nap and I'll take you to the Playroom."

"What about the tests?" I ask, slightly worried.

He sees the reluctance in my eyes and sighs sadly. "You're right. I'm getting ahead of myself. You have every right to be worried considering…well…"

"Yeah," I mumble, staring blankly at the dotted line. "I know you're a doc and that you're most likely clean, but…I can't afford to—" My voice breaks. "I can't. Not to Kenna. She needs me." I know I'm going to break down.

"Shh. Shh." He pats my shoulder gently then starts stroking my hair. "I'll arrange for the tests to be done first thing tomorrow."

I nod, not trusting my voice.

We sign the papers, then go to the kitchen to eat lunch. Kenna seems so at ease in Carlisle's house that she even starts protesting about the peas and broccoli on her plate. I try to make light of it, hoping she won't start crying.

"You've got to get used to this. Carlisle eats healthy," I joke.

"I don't want the gween stuff!" she wails as big tears roll down her cheeks.

"Kenna," I groan. "You're too fu— spoiled for your own good, kid. Eat the _green_ _stuff!_ " I command, rolling my eyes at her.

"NOO!"

She turns to Carlisle, pouting and showing him that face that gets her everything. She's even more adorable at the moment, with her face painted nicely.

"Choose which veggies you like," he tells her, grinning.

Super.

She now has an ally in him – an ally against me.

I frown at their sweet exchange.

"Fanks!" She beams at him, her tears forgotten.

"Anytime, sweetie. No more tears or you'll ruin your pretty make-up."

She nods seriously and picks at the carrots and corn. I'm ignored for the rest of the meal. Kenna talks with Carlisle about kindergarten, about her favorite plush toy, about how she misses Daddy Jay, about how sad I am – at least she mentions me, even though she doesn't turn to me. She asks what he's doing at work, then declares that she wants to be a nurse when she grows up. That cracks me up and I almost choke on my bite of chicken.

"Really?" I ask beyond amused. "I thought you hated hospitals."

"Daddy C is nice," she tells me impatiently. "Not like the Fwog!"

"Kenna!" I shout, glancing at Carlisle worried. He mentioned that he knows the doctor who treats AIDS patients.

His brows draw up in the middle of his forehead. "Dr. Rowenski?" he checks.

"Yes! The Fwog!" Kenna nods enthusiastically.

"God, Kenna! How many times did I tell you not to repeat what Jazz was saying?" I protest. "He used to compare Dr. Rowenski with a frog because of his thick glasses. I told Kenna it's not nice to laugh at someone's expanse," I tell Carlisle apologetically.

"It's okay, Edward. Don't worry," he pacifies me. "He's widely known as the Hobbit between our fellow doctors, and he knows it. He's pretty cool about it."

I chuckle. "Mm, yeah. I never liked him," I whisper.

"That's understandable."

We finish eating and Carlisle starts fretting that he doesn't have dessert. I tell him that it's okay. Even if he did, Kenna can't eat sweet until after her nap or else she will never sleep.

Besides, I bet she had enough sweets this weekend to last her a month.

I put her to sleep in the room I slept for the past two nights. Carlisle stands in the doorway, leaning against the jamb, watching the complicated process of making my Kenna fall asleep.

It takes half an hour until she drifts.

I close the door behind me and sigh, looking at Carlisle. "Don't smirk. You have no idea how hard it is to make her sleep when she's this hyper."

"Well, you sure do know your fairytale stories," he jokes, taking my hand and leading me downstairs. "Is your foot hurting?" he asks, worried when I grimace.

"Just a little. The walk in the park was probably too much." I shrug.

"Take a seat on the couch. I'll be right back."

I slump in the leather couch and fight keeping my eyes open.

"Tired?"

I jump a little and look at Carlisle, now sitting right next to me. "A little," I mumble. "I haven't had such a long break in…I don't remember."

"Do you call this a break? Two days of relaxation?" he asks amused. "For me, a break is even half an hour of resting sleep…anywhere. Especially after a long, busy shift."

I look in my lap. "You're right. I shouldn't complain about how tired I am when you have it tougher than me. It's just…I haven't broken the routine in some time – I know just work-Kenna-sleep when I can, and again."

"We both have stressful jobs," he says understandingly. "When do you have to be at work tomorrow?"

"Early."

"What time?" he insists.

"Around seven."

"It works well. I start my shift at seven, too. We can go to the hospital early and have the blood test before we start our day," he suggests.

"Oh, yeah…but what about Kenna? She starts at eight."

"Don't worry. I'll handle that."

"Okay, then," I agree.

Carlisle goes to his audio system and fiddles with it for a few minutes, then The Beatles spills from it. He returns to my side and I put my head on his shoulder, sighing.

We talk quietly, learning more about each other until sleep wins and I doze off.

When I awake, I feel a warm body pressed into my side and realize I'm lying in a bed. The body behind me is Carlisle's and we're in his bed. It's night judging by the darkness around us, but I'm awake. I've been asleep for too long.

Maybe I shouldn't have succumbed to sleep so early in the afternoon.

My stomach announces that I missed a meal by growling loudly. Fucker got used to eating three times in just one day.

I extricate myself from his hug and shuffle to the kitchen.

I don't know what they had for dinner, but I see salami at the back of the fridge. Never thought he'd have something like this. Happy, I cut a few slices and put them on bread. As I chew, I realize it's not salami, but it's too late. I already swallowed one bite.

I check the plastic wrapper and it says soya salami.

Christ.

It tastes like dirt.

I push the slices off my bread, butter it up, and add salt. I'm back to square one, even in his posh house.

Inedible food.

After I'm somewhat sated, I return to his bed. I probably should go sleep next to Kenna, but I love being near him. When he feels me next to him, he hugs me, draping a leg over mine.

Huh.

Who would have thought Bad Boy Carlisle is a cuddler?


	10. Chapter 10

In the morning, I wake up feeling more rested than I have in a long time.

Carlisle's sprawled on his chest snoring lightly, one of his legs still tangled with mine.

I roll out of the bed and go to the room I've spent two nights in, to check on Kenna. She's sleeping, but then I'm making too much noise in the bathroom and wake her up. We go to the kitchen and prepare breakfast.

I can't wait to see Carlisle's reaction to pancakes, fried bacon and scrambled eggs.

We're in a contest of who can eat more, when he joins us. His blue eyes grow so wide I'm afraid they'll fall out. Then they find me and narrow.

Oh, shit.

I'm in trouble.

"I can't wait for the tests to be done. I'll have them done as quickly as possible," he says quietly, but his tone is threatening.

"Good morning to you too!" I say lightly, hoping to steer him away from the subject.

"Have a pancake! Daddy makes yummy pancakes!" Kenna tells him through a mouthful.

"Hey, what have we talked about swallowing before talking?" I chide her.

She chews quickly and swallows her bite. "Sorry."

I nod and look back at Carlisle. "You can try a pancake. You won't die," I tell him slowly.

"Pancakes, I can do. That greasy bacon – no."

"What about yesterday?" I challenge him. He sure as hell ate that greasy IHOP breakfast like a starving man.

"IHOP is the only exception," he retorts.

"So is the pizza when your friend visits."

"Are you arguing with me?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Maybe." I never know when to shut up.

"I'm keeping count of everything," he whispers in my ear, taking the seat next to me. He grabs a fork, stabs a pancake, before sinking it into the chocolate on my plate, and biting into it. "Hmm. This is delicious."

"I told you!" Kenna shouts excitedly, making me jump. I almost forgot about her presence.

We take a detour to our studio to change our clothes, and I insist that Carlisle waits in the car. I even offer to drive us, but he demands that I return to his car or I won't be able to sit for a week. And I believe him.

We drop Kenna at Bella's on the way to the hospital. She can take her to kindergarten. I don't want to complicate things for Carlisle.

At the hospital, he leads me straight to the lab to have blood drawn. I recognize the nurse as the one who directed me to Kenna that faithful day we met. Carlisle greets her by name and tells her what kind of analysis he wants.

Before I know it, we're done. I have never liked this, but I know it is necessary to do tests once in a while. Esme, the nurse, tells Carlisle that he can have the results by the end of the day.

Wow.

I don't think I'm ready.

Even though his shift starts in ten minutes, he offers to drive me to work. At least the building we're working on isn't far from the hospital.

"Thanks," I whisper as he parks the car.

"You're welcome," he replies, equally quiet.

I can't seem to find it in me to open the door. I'm not ready to end our time together.

I blurt out the stupidest thing ever. "My foot's great."

Carlisle bursts out in laughter so hard the car is shaking. "I was expecting something cheesier," he jokes. "Something like… My foot's in pain. When can I see you again?"

We grin at each other. My cheeks are hurting.

"I'm not sure how my day will be, but I'll contact you to let you know about the tests," he adds.

I nod. "Okay, then. See you." I wrap my fingers around the door handle.

"Not so fast, Edward."

I turn to him surprised, feeling tingles everywhere at how my name sounds rolling off his tongue.

His fingers curl in my hair and he brings my head closer to his. We're so close we're breathing the same air. Then he presses his lips to mine, his tongue invading my mouth.

"Now, you can go," he breathes against my lips.

I leave the car feeling woozy. I haven't been kissed like that in so long.

One of my co-workers looks at me knowingly as I grab my gear to start the day.

"So she brings you to work? When did you meet?" he asks curiously.

 _She_.

Uh, super.

He doesn't know and he looks like a person who won't ever understand my choice.

"A while ago," I answer vaguely. It's not exactly a lie.

"She has a nice car," Joe says, insisting.

I don't answer, and take the stairs to the floor I've been working on. He follows.

"Did she meet your daughter?"

I start preparing the paint and selecting brushes.

"She must be loaded to drive that car."

I grit my teeth and turn to him. "First, I don't care about the money! Second, yes, _he_ met Kenna and yes, _he_ has a nice car and yes, _he_ 's loaded!"

Joe's eyes widen and he looks at me as if I've grown another head.

"He?" he asks, almost disgusted.

I roll my eyes and dip the roll brush in the paint, then go to the wall. "If you have a problem with that, then go work on another floor."

He leaves quickly and I'm surprised, but I realize why he listened. Emmett comes to me fifteen minutes later laughing about ol' Joe worrying about having a fag on the crew. Thankfully, Em doesn't have a problem with this. We actually laugh about Joe's worries.

My day flies by, and since Carlisle drove me to work, I have to use public transportation to get to the kindergarten.

Kenna talks my ear off on the way home. I decide to walk to our studio to save money. It's a bad idea, considering halfway there she starts complaining that her feet hurt. I deposit her on my shoulders, keeping my hands on her legs to make sure she won't fall off.

She loves it there. She's tall and all important.

"Look!" she squeals as I turn on our street.

"It's difficult to see when you have your hand over my eyes, baby," I tell her amused.

"Ooops."

I snort, and finally able to see clearly, I see Carlisle leaning against the hood of his car, legs crossed, looking at me with a huge smile on his face. My lips tug up on their own accord and my feet move faster.

"Hi," I whisper as I stop in front of him.

"Hello." He straightens and pecks my lips before reaching up and pressing a kiss on Kenna's cheek. His chuckle tells me that she's beet red.

"Did you escape early?" I ask, taking his hand. I can't keep my fingers away even if I try.

"I couldn't wait until later. We're both clean. I _need_ this." His blue eyes smolder with desire.

"Would you mind spending another night at Carlisle's place?" I ask Kenna, looking up at her.

"Nope. He has fluffy bed."

"Let's pack some overnight clothes. We'll be right back," I tell him, letting go of his hand.

"Is where you live a secret?" he asks curiously, but there's an undertone. I don't like it.

"It's just… It's nothing compared to your place," I mumble, looking at my sneakers. I still need to buy new ones.

"Edward…" He sighs tiredly, almost as if he has lost the will to fight.

I grab his hand and tug it, making him stumble. "Come on," I urge him. "Before I change my mind."

Laughing heartily, he follows, squeezing my fingers.

"Head down," I warn Kenna, as I step into the building. She leans her small body over my head and stays there until we're into the studio.

I put her down and go to our small chest of drawers to select a few clothes. I stuff them into my backpack and turn to see Carlisle looking around, a bemused expression on his face.

"Where's Kenna?" I suddenly realize she's not around.

"She said something about potty," he explains with a small smile.

"Oh. Okay." I nod and sling the strap of the backpack over my shoulder. "So…we're clean?"

"Yup." He winks, and warmness fills my body. A moment later he starts laughing hard. "You have quite the wannabe rebel slash bad boy look with your cap like that."

I snicker. "It's Kenna's doing. She turned it." I shrug.

"I'm not complaining. It gives me better access to do this," Carlisle murmurs and presses his lips to mine, cupping my cheek. "There are so many things I want to do to you. I have no idea where to start."

"Daddy! I need help!"

I forget how awful it is to be interrupted.

"Sorry," I mutter, rushing to the bathroom. "Yes, sweetie?"

"Can't. It's stuck." She points to her zipper.

I crouch in front of her. The intention of getting herself dressed alone counts.

"You caught your panties, that's why the zipper won't go up. Let me try to unstuck it."

With a little struggle, I solve her little problem.

We're good to go.

As I lock up, my next door neighbor is just coming home. My little girl has a crush on college Freshman, Derek. Thankfully, he is always amused by her antics and stoops to her level. They even had a tea party when something came up and I had to run at work on such short notice I couldn't have Bella come to us.

"Oh no!" Derek gasps when he sees Kenna holding Carlisle's hand. "What have I done wrong to have you cheat on me, my Fair Lady?"

She dissolves in a fit of giggles and goes to hug his leg. "I still love you!" she squeals.

Derek wipes invisible sweat off his forehead. "You had me worried."

"Daddy C is Daddy's boyfwiend," she declares proudly.

If I didn't know Derek was gay himself, I'd have worried about his reaction.

"That's good. You looked pretty sad before," he notes, looking at me.

"Thanks." I grin and drop the keys in a pocket of my backpack. "We have to go, baby."

"Can't I stay with Dek?" She pouts.

"Afraid you can't. He's busy, I'm sure."

"Actually, I have to study for an exam." He nods, shooting me an amused look.

I extract my kid from his arms and nod for Carlisle to follow me. He comments on Kenna being too young for that kind of drama.

"She got herself in trouble when we moved here," I tell him laughing. "I was unpacking and it was extremely hot so I kept the front door open – like most people in this building. One second she was unpacking her toys, the next she was gone." I palm my face as we reach his car. "But before I could go into a full-blown panic attack, Derek pokes his head inside and asks if I lost her. I shouted at him and called him a ton of bad names, thinking he wanted to steal her. Then I realized he was a good guy. And she has a girly crush on him."

"Dek's my boyfwend!"

"Yeah, sure until his _real_ boyfriend drops by," I say pointedly, staring into her wide eyes.

She pouts as I strap her in the backseat of Carlisle's Merc, but smiles after I kiss her nose.

The short drive is spent in silence.

Once inside Carlisle's house, we start working on dinner, eager to see Kenna asleep – which probably won't be any time soon. It's only six in the evening.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next Saturday.
> 
> PS: One of my stories is nominated at Top 10 Completed Fics for October. There are many good stories. Can you please vote? My story's called The Man In The Trailer.
> 
> Here's the link: http://twifanfictionrecs.com/category/top-ten-fics/top-ten-completed-fics-oct-2012/


	11. Chapter 11

Exactly one hour later, at seven on the dot, Kenna's fast asleep in the guest room.

"Let's start easy," Carlisle whispers, leading me downstairs. "I want to finish introducing you to my room."

"Can I have some water first?" My mouth's suddenly dry as the desert. My heart's racing its way up my throat. My dick's so hard it could cut bricks.

After we both drink a glass of water, he leads me to that room – the Playroom as he calls it.

I feel so alive as we step inside the room. My skin prickles as my eyes roam around, getting accustomed to the bright light and with the objects.

"Where were we?" Carlisle muses, opening the drawer containing pain and pleasure inducing toys…I think.

I'm introduced to various types of floggers and whips. Then on the other side of the room, he shows me how the St. Andrews Cross works, making me shiver. I'm not so sure about that one. We continue our tour with the padded whipping bench – I definitely remember that. He shows me the pulley coming from the ceiling which he uses for suspension purposes. At my curious look, he just smirks and heads to the bed.

So much information.

My head's swirling around.

Carlisle stops in front of me, grinning evilly.

"There's something I forgot to mention. Your position should be kneeling, knees spread shoulder width, hands five inches in front of your knees, head bent. That's how you'll be waiting for me when I tell you to be here." He strokes my cheeks softly. "Why don't we try it? I'll leave the room for a second, and when I enter, you'll be in position."

I nod, finding it hard to swallow.

He's almost at the door when a thought occurs to me. "Wait. Naked?" I blurt out.

Carlisle whirls around, laughing dryly. "Always naked in this room. Your folded clothes sit on this chair." He points to the wooden chair next the door. "Any more questions?"

"Uh…I don't think so."

"Your last chance."

I shake my head.

He shrugs and leaves.

I quickly undress and put my clothes on the chair. I can't fold clothes to save my life, so I hope he doesn't mind if they're just there.

Shit.

I don't know where to kneel.

I should have asked.

The door handle creeks and I drop to my knees next to the chest of drawers.

_Holy fuck._

I bite my lip to keep from crying out. My knees ache.

"Good boy." He pets my hair. "You'll be good for the rest of the session, I hope."

I nod, remembering he once told me about talking without permission in this room.

"Such a good boy," he repeats proudly.

I hear his zipper going down, before his bare feet appear in front of my eyes. "Raise your head." He tilts my head by the chin. "Suck."

I open my mouth and he immediately shoves his cock in.

Christ.

I forgot he likes to deep-throat.

I try not to gag, but it's next to impossible. He doesn't seem to care, shoving his rod deeper in my mouth and staying there. He massages my throat again and I choke, feeling moments away from throwing up the dinner.

Suddenly, he leaves my mouth and I dry heave, coughing.

"We need to train you, boy," he says contemplatively. "I like to deep-throat and you seem unable to do so."

I feel like shit.

I want to please him.

"Straighten up and follow me. Crawl."

I do as I'm told, and feel my heart bursting into a marathon when I see we stopped near the bench.

Great.

I was hoping we'd stick to the pleasure. It's my own fault we're doing this.

"You know what to do," Carlisle murmurs. "Relax. You're not being punished."

 _Then what the hell am I doing here?_ I wonder idly.

I'm so wound up that when music spills loudly from the system, I jump, earning a chuckle from Carlisle.

I don't recognize the song immediately.

 _I've been left out alone like a damn criminal_  
I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all  
I'm not done,  
It's not over.  
Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall  
And I'm desperately holding on to it all  
But I'm lost  
I'm so damn lost

A cold hand touches my left ass cheek, rubbing it slowly. The other joins it on the other cheek.

Fuck.

I'm so hard it's not even funny.

 _Oh I wish it was over,_  
And I wish you were here  
Still I'm hoping that somehow

His attention brings me closer to the edge and he hasn't touched my dick, or even my hole.

' _Cause your soul is on fire_  
A shot in the dark,  
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?

 _Ah_.

I grin into the bench.

_Within Temptation._

Nice.

I almost whine when his hands leave my ass, but a moment later they slap against my cheeks, squeezing them hard.

"Are you hard? Answer."

"Yes…" My eyes widen in realization at what I'm about to say. "Master."

"Is your cock weeping for me?"

"Yes, Master."

"You want to come so badly right now."

"Yes, Master."

"And I haven't even touched you properly, you greedy slut."

I'm caught off guard.

He told me he'll say things to get a rise of me, but I never thought…

OW!

Something hard and round slaps my ass. Hard.

"Answer me. Or are you ashamed of being a greedy slut?"

"No, Master."

"No, what?" He laughs.

"I'm not ashamed," I whisper.

"Good. You're about to feel more pleasure and don't you _dare_ cum!" he hisses.

"Yes, Master."

"Spread them wider."

I do as I'm told, wondering what he has in store for me.

One finger circles my hole, making me groan from deep in my throat.

"Yes, please, be vocal. I want to hear you," he murmurs.

 _In the blink of an eye_  
I can see through your eyes  
As I'm lying awake I'm still hearing the cries  
And it hurts  
Hurts me so bad  
And I'm wondering why I still fight in this life  
'Cause I've lost all my faith in this damn bitter strife  
And it's sad  
It's so damn sad

 

That finger slips inside and I feel lube being dribbled on my crack. If only one finger has me thinking of the most gruesome things just not to explode, I don't want to know what two or three fingers will do to me.

 _Oh I wish it was over,_  
And I wish you were here  
Still I'm hoping that somehow

'Cause your soul is on fire  
A shot in the dark,  
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?

The man knows how to work with his fingers.

Fucking shit.

He circles them around inside me.

He crisscrosses them.

He pumps them.

He makes sure to bump my gland every fucking time.

I have fucking tears in my eyes.

I can't hold any longer. Hell, this is long enough. I fear for my poor balls.

When I think I can't take it anymore, his fingers leave my body and I relax, sighing heavily.

 _I breathe underwater_  
It's all in my hands  
What can I do?  
Don't let it fall apart  
A shot in the dark  
A shot in the dark  
A shot in the dark  
A shot in the dark

A shot in the dark

The tip of something pushes against the ring of muscles. As it slips further into me, I realize it's not his cock – it's a fucking plug, and I'm coming like never before. I see white spots before my eyes.

Carlisle pushes the plug all the way in, making me moan at how sensitive I am. He then twists it, and with his other hand, he garbs my dick and milks it.

I try to squirm away. It's too much for my tormented body, but he won't let go.

I start whimpering as his thumb runs over the tip of my dick. The plug is still moving inside me and his hand won't stop tormenting my poor, exhausted cock.

I swallow thickly, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.

"Y-y-hllow," I whimper.

The plug is finally left resting inside me, while his hand disappears from around my dick.

He appears in front of me like the last time, his eyebrows drawn in the middle of his forehead.

"Yes. Talk about it," he urges me, helping me up.

I feel a shiver running down my spine as I sit down, staring into my lap.

"Edward. Talk!" he demands, raising my chin. "I want eye contact and honesty when you give me Yellow."

I nod jerkily. "It was too much," I mumble, focusing on a spot above his right eyebrow. I can't look into his eyes.

"Pain? Pleasure?"

"A mix of them. I don't know how to hold it," I add, embarrassed.

"We'll work on that, too. For now, we're focusing on something we both want." He gives me a small smile. "Are you okay to continue?"

I nod.

"Then get up and come with me."

We stop under the pulley for the suspension. He must see my panicked look because he strokes my hair.

"You're not ready for that. I'm showing you the other purpose of this pulley. I need your arms up, but before that, extend them in front of you, wrist to wrist."

I do as told, watching as he wraps a rope around my wrists, securing it there.

"Now, raise them, bent at elbows, above your head."

I comply again. He hooks the pulley system to the rope before going to the wall and pushing a button.

"Tell me when you're too stretched. I want you on your tiptoes."

"Now," I tell him a minute later. I'm literally standing on my tiptoes.

I feel so vulnerable.

"Now?" Carlisle mocks me, approaching. "Are you commanding me or something? Did you forget your place, boy?"

Crap.

I shake my head wildly, trying to rectify my mistake.

"I'm sorry, Master."

He pads over to the chest against the wall, choosing something from one of the drawers. When he turns around, I see him holding that flogger with many ends…cat something. In his other hand is something I can't see, and that scares me.

Carlisle stops in front of me and crouches level with my dick.

"This is a cock ring. We're going to work on teaching you how to hold your orgasm. I promise it's extremely pleasurable."

I whimper as he slips the plastic ring around my cock and balls.

Then he moves behind me and runs the flogger's tails down my back, making me shudder. A whooshing sound tenses me up, preparing me for the strike.

It comes across my back, making me arch and moan. Thank God for that rope keeping me up or I'd have toppled over.

It doesn't hurt, but the tails leave a pleasurable ache behind.

Carlisle keeps slapping the flogger on various spots of my back until he reaches the back of my thighs.

"Ahhh!" I groan loudly.

Who would have thought this can bring so much pleasure?

I'm hard again.

He chuckles and slaps my ass, making me sway on spot.

"I'm curious if I can make you cum just by teasing you with the cat o'nine tails," Carlisle muses, administrating a blow right on my crack, hitting the plug.

"Fuuuck!"

"Tsk, tsk! No talking."

The next blow is slightly painful.

I'm teetering on the edge, the ring not allowing me to cum. The pleasure is so intense it's almost painful, bringing tears to my eyes.

He continues to hit the back of my thighs, every now and then tapping the plug inside me. My balls are so drawn up, I'm afraid they'll fall off. The coil in my stomach is so tight.

When I'm sure I can't take any more, Carlisle pulls the plug out in one swift movement. Only a moment later, I realize how empty I feel and a whimper leaves my chest.

"Oh, don't worry, boy. I'm going to fill you up over and over. You're not allowed to cum – not until I've cum. Twice," he commands sternly.

I whimper again.

Without further explanation, Carlisle grasps the back of my thighs, before lifting them up and sliding into my tight tunnel.

Fuck.

I shiver and writhe around.

So much pleasure.

Carlisle groans, gripping my hips. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck.

"Change of plans. After I cum once, you're allowed to cum. You're so fucking tight, boy."

I moan loudly, gripping the rope above my wrists and trying to impale myself further on his rod. It feels so fucking good.

"Wrap your legs around me," he orders quietly.

"How?" I ask confused. "Uh…Master," I add quickly.

He chuckles and kisses my shoulder, then bends my legs so I can wrap them behind, around his hips. I can touch his ass with my toes and, fuck, he's deeper and he's hitting that spot.

 _Cum_ , I silently beg him. Just cum so I can do it, too.

He's moving faster and faster.

All my senses are heightened since I'm not touching the ground at all. I sway back and forth with every push and pull. My dick is twitching, and I know even with the ring around it, it will spurt mountains of cum pretty soon.

I'm on fire.

Suddenly, one of Carlisle's arms comes around my neck, dragging it back so my head is on his shoulder. His liquid blue eyes are boring into mine as he moves jerkily inside me.

"Cum!" he shouts, just as I feel his dick swelling inside me.

I don't need any further invitation – my body's been waiting for his word to take the natural action. The coil in my lower stomach springs, and I moan and cry out as my dick twitches in the air, shooting bows of cum all over the hardwood.

What feels like hours later, he unties my hands and takes me to the bed, where we both slump in exhaustion. He strokes my hair for a few minutes, before reaching for something on the nightstand.

I open my eyes tiredly when I feel something cold on my wrists.

"Shh. Relax, sleep," Carlisle murmurs, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I'm breaking many of my rules with you, Edward." He chuckles quietly. "I don't cuddle with Subs. I don't kiss them on lips. I'm not constantly worried about what they can take."

"M'kay," I slur, letting the sleep take me, as he rubs some cream over my probably red wrists.


	12. Chapter 12

I wake up to small hands patting my cheek.

I shoot up as if burned and look around.

I'm in Carlisle's room and there's a blanket draped over me. I feel boxers on me, but don't risk it.

I turn to look at Kenna, confused then at the empty spot next to me.

"What is it?" I ask, still not entirely awake.

How did I get here?

"I fink it's late."

"You think?" I chuckle.

"Yep. I was at KG when the short line was there." She points to the clock.

I follow her gesture and shoot out of the bed. "Holy shit!" It's ten. _Ten_.

Emmett's gonna scalp me.

"Where's Carlisle?" I ask frantically as I look around for my clothes.

Finally, I spot my bag near the door and rip out some clothes for both of us.

"Dunno." Kenna shrugs.

"Are you washed?" I ask, knowing she probably just woke up as well.

"Nope."

In half an hour we're both washed and dressed and on our way to kindergarten. Luckily, Carlisle has that kind of front door that locks automatically or we'd have been in trouble.

Emmett just purses his lips at me when I arrive near noon, and I quickly rush to the floor I've been working to avoid him.

I have a bad feeling about this. If I keep being late or taking off whenever for various reasons, I can kiss my job goodbye, and I can't afford that.

A few hours later, on a break, I call Bella to pick Kenna and keep her with her until I can leave.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't." I've never heard those words before and I'm in a panic mode.

"What do you mean you can't? Bella, please," I beg her as I open my sandwich. "Do you want me to pay you for babysitting?" I wonder.

"Edward, don't be ridiculous! It's just…I actually have a life and that life includes Jake. We're going out tonight."

Her tone is final and I feel like crying. Emmett won't allow me to leave early yet again.

"Okay," I mumble. "Bye."

"Hey, I'm really sorry," she whispers.

I hang up feeling defeated.

Not even the sandwich seems to settle in my stomach.

There's a small voice in the back of my head that nudges me to call Carlisle. I keep pushing that thought away until one of my co-workers asks me to help him with the painting in another room. That settles it.

"Hold on," I tell him and pick up the phone again, dialing a number I know by heart – the hospital's number.

After a few minutes on hold, I'm transferred to Carlisle.

"Hello?" he asks curiously.

"Hi. Uh, it's Edward," I whisper.

"Edward!" he exclaims. "Oh, I'm so sorry for leaving in a rush but I got called—"

"It's okay," I cut him off. "But I need a favor," I add mumbling.

"Can I help?" Carlisle offers.

"I'm hoping you can. If it's not too much trouble, can you pick Kenna up from kindergarten? Please? I can't leave and I arrived late because we overslept."

"I'm not sure I can leave right now."

Oh, crap.

My stomach sinks.

"But I can ask Esme. She's the only nurse I trust with everything I have," he says quietly. "She knows Kenna. She helped me when your friend brought her here with a bruised knee."

"Oh." I remember the nice nurse. "Okay," I say reluctantly.

"Don't worry, Edward. Kenna will be in good hands. Now tell me where the kindergarten is."

Once we cover that subject, I tell him I'll collect my kid once I finish at work. He wishes me a good day and we hang up.

I feel horrible for not being able to pick her up, and for not having a normal schedule.

My day ends well after the sun goes down, but at least we are done with this building. Our team, anyway. There is a new team coming the next day for furnishing the place.

Tomorrow we are going to the headquarters to get our salary for this building and sign the contract with the hospital. I'm curious of how it will be to work so close to Carlisle.

It's near nine at night when I knock on Carlisle's door. He answers relatively quickly and ushers me inside and into the kitchen. It's funny to see him worried about me.

"I'm not really hungry, honestly," I protest when I see the amounts of food he puts on the table. "I'm more tired," I say, stifling a yawn.

"You need to eat, and then you can sleep. Do you start early again?" he asks, looking upset.

"Tomorrow is payday, and Emmett signs with the hospital. Hey, is Kenna awake?"

"She wanted to wait up for you, but in the end, sleep won the battle. She was really good while she stayed in my office. Esme babysat her when I had to run to the E.R.," he explains.

"I feel horrible for not being there when she needs me. I'm such a failure at this daddy thing," I mutter, pushing the beans around in my plate. "Jazz was a natural at it."

Carlisle puts a hand on my shoulder. "Don't beat yourself over this. I bet it happens to every single parent. You're doing an amazing job. When you hit rock bottom, you kept fighting."

"You're right," I agree and sigh. "I really can't eat."

Truth to be told, I'm a nervous wreck over my talk with Emmett tomorrow. He can kick me to the curb, because only God knows how many times I was late, or left early, or simply didn't show up this time round.

"Okay. Let's shower and get some sleep. Tomorrow's my day off," Carlisle tells me with a wink.

He leads me by the hand to his room and into the bathroom.

I'm somewhat surprised to see him getting undressed too once the shower is running, but I'm not complaining.

"I didn't ask," Carlisle whispers, rubbing a hand on my lower back. "How are you feeling?"

I step into the shower stall and turn to him. "I honestly didn't have time to think if anything ached," I answer truthfully. "But now that I'm finally relaxed, I can tell you that I'm deliciously sore all over." I wrap my arms around his waist, bringing him closer.

He smiles and presses his lips to mine. His tongue feels amazing rubbing against mine, his fingers gripping my hair, his erection pressing against my hip while the warm water beats down on us. No better way to relax than hot, steamy shower sex.

I hope he wants it too.

Maybe this is too _dull_ for him.

I truly hope he's into this as well.

Suddenly, my back hits the cold tile and my left leg is hitched up. Carlisle's lips go to my neck and he starts sucking and nipping. I can't help but let out a loud moan as my hips press into his. I need friction. I need him.

"Aren't you too sore?" he checks, worried.

I want to tell him to just do it, but I know that he will realize if I feel any discomfort. And I'm not entirely sure my ass can take it so soon. It's been too long since my last time.

"There are other ways," he tells me seriously, moving a hand between us and grasping both our dicks in his fist. "Have you experienced frotting before?"

I groan and my eyes roll back in my head. "Once," I gasp as he starts moving his hand. "But not skin on skin," I add in a hitched breath.

"You don't know what you've been missing."

That being said, he sets to work. After three strokes, I feel the urge to cum, but resist. It's a battle inside my head.

I'm not sure what we're doing.

Are we just Carlisle and Edward?

Or something else? Like in the basement.

"Please!" I shout, clawing at the wall behind me.

"I'm not denying you pleasure, sugar."

That's all I need to know.

I explode on my stomach.

He keeps stroking – his hard cock rubbing against my softening one.

Fuck.

He doesn't stop until he finds completion. I tend to believe that if it is possible, I just came again.

Once we come down from the high, we quickly wash and rinse. I step into his bedroom while he takes another minute in the bathroom.

I'm fighting to keep my eyes open because I want to talk some more with Carlisle. I'm growing used to falling asleep in someone's arms again.

When he returns, we snuggle under the blanket. It's amazing that he likes to snuggle. I've slept with Kenna for so long that I don't know how to sleep without snuggling with the person I'm sharing the bed.

"You're tired. Why don't you sleep?" Carlisle suggests.

"I can stay up for a few more minutes," I reply into his chest. "So we can do whatever outside the basement?" I blurt out, curiously.

"Outside the Playroom," he corrects me. "If you want to get kinky in the wine room, by all means."

I feel sparks shooting through my body. Apparently, my dick is not connected with my body. I'm dead on my feet, but it gets hard upon hearing Carlisle's idea.

"And you can initiate anything you want outside the Playroom. Of course, you'll have to be careful with what you want, because I might return the favor on my territory," Carlisle adds, chuckling.

"That sounds good. So you won't mind if…say…I straddle you now and want more," I whisper, pressing my face into his neck and inhaling his musky scent.

"Is that what you want? You'll be punished if you start something you can't finish."

"Uh, not now," I waver. "But for further notice."

"Edward, I'd like to think that we're a couple. In a relationship, both sides can start the teasing and sexy times. True, our relationship is different, but I'm in charge only in the Playroom – truly in charge."

I nod against his neck, letting out a loud yawn. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. Sleep." He kisses the side of my head and pulls me closer to him.

The morning comes too quickly for my liking. The sad part is that Carlisle isn't next to me.

After a detour to the bathroom, I make my way to the kitchen. I need coffee.

As I reach the ground floor, movement and light giggles from the living room grabs my attention. My little Kenna is watching cartoons while Carlisle is trying to feed her something.

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from laughing.

I bet she won't eat any organic shit. Heck, I'm partial on the cereal bars he has.

I could stand there the whole day and stare at them, but I drag my feet to the kitchen, where I pour myself a cup of coffee. That yummy Italian coffee. Once I add sugar and milk, I head to the living room to join my favorite people.

"Daddy!" Kenna shouts and climbs on my lap as soon as I'm seated. "Tom's the best! He's so funny!"

 _No shit?_ I bite my tongue.

I've been trying to make her watch _Tom and Jerry_ for ages, but of course, she will never say no to Daddy C.

"I know, sweetie." I arrange her better on my lap and turn to look at Carlisle. He's watching us with longing. I take his hand and tug him closer; a smile spreads on his lips. "Hi," I whisper, kissing his cheek.

"Good morning," he replies quietly, pecking my lips.

"Look at kitty and mouse! No kissy!" Kenna demands, making us laugh.

I hug her tightly to my chest while I sip from my coffee. Carlisle wraps an arm around my shoulders.

It feels like a perfect day, but I'm still worried about Emmett. I don't even want to think of being fired.

"You're so tense. What's on your mind?" Carlisle whispers in my ear.

"I'm just worried about work," I tell him. "I've been leaving a lot lately and…"

"Don't worry. I'm sure he won't dismiss you. He knows of your situation, right?"

"Carlisle, he's been very understanding, but he's still my boss. I can't promise him it will be any different this time around. If something happens to Kenna, I will always have to leave."

He rubs my shoulder. "I'm Chief of Pediatrics at the hospital. If you trust me, I'm willing to help you," he offers.

I turn to stare at him in disbelief. "You'd leave your job to go after my kid?"

"Of course. I understand how important your job is for you. Above everything, I'm your friend. Friends help each other, right?"

I grin and nod. There are tears in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall.

"Besides, if he doesn't take you to work on the hospital, I'm going to have a serious talk with him. I can't wait to see you again in your work clothes, all sweaty and…" He clears his throat, realizing he can't say more around Kenna. Damn.

"I'll offer this argument if Emmett decides against taking me for this contract." I wink, letting my head fall against his shoulder.

It almost feels like we're a family. I love this.


	13. Chapter 13

Being Carlisle's free day, he offers to drive me to the headquarters of the company.

"What are you going to do while you wait? I don't know how long I'll be," I tell him worried.

"Don't worry about us," he answers calmly, throwing Kenna a wink. She dissolves in a fit of giggles.

I'm so fucking jealous I see red.

I've forgotten how it is to share her with someone.

"Yes, Daddy! Bonding time wif Daddy C!"

I snort at her words. I'm sure Carlisle used the term and she just repeated it, because frankly, I have no idea where else she could have learned it.

"That's okay, but promise me you'll be good for Daddy C."

"Yep!" She nods enthusiastically.

Carlisle parks in front of the construction company, taking my hand in his. "I want you to have this. It's my spare phone. I've programmed my number. Call and we'll come back after you."

I'm so touched by this gesture that I can only nod and smile. He kisses my cheeks and wishes me good luck. I need lots of it.

I get out of the car and open the back door, leaning inside to say goodbye to my little angel. Her arms wrap around my neck and she squeezes.

"I wove you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, princess." I kiss her nose and reluctantly step back.

Once inside the building, I go straight to Emmett's office. There are five other guys waiting. We chat aimlessly, but I'm not really into sports or politics.

When it's finally my turn, I feel woozy as I step into Emmett's office. He smiles and waves me closer, shaking my hand and asking how I'm doing.

"I'm honestly doing great," I answer truthfully.

"Hopefully, I won't ruin your happiness with the new schedule you'll be working."

"That means I'm on the hospital assignment?" I check carefully.

"Did you ever doubt it?" He raises an eyebrow, surprised.

"Em, we both know I've been horrible at being on time this time round."

"Man, are you forgetting I have a child of my own? I know all about it, and I don't tell you enough how much I admire you for taking care of yours alone. It takes steel nerves, I bet."

I chuckle, amused, finally relaxing. "She's an angel most of the time." I pause, unsure how to tell him that now Carlisle helps me with Kenna.

"Is she with Bella again?" Emmett asks, grinning.

When Emmett's little guy started kindergarten, I told him about the one where Kenna goes. That's how Rosalie, Emmett's wife, met Bella. They became friends immediately.

"Uh, no. That's what I want to tell you…and I guess there's no time better than now."

"Did something happen?" he asks worried.

"No, Emmett. She's with…my, uh, new… My boyfriend." God, it feels amazing to say that.

"The doc?"

"Yeah. He's amazing. It's his day off and he kinda stole her when he heard I had plans." I shrug.

He grins. "Don't remind me about sharing the little one! It's tough to share Dave with my own wife, but I can't imagine how it must be for you."

"It's difficult," I confirm. "But I trust Carlisle."

"I won't keep you here for too long. Just sign those papers and then you can go to your girl."

Fifteen minutes later and an invitation for brunch that weekend, I'm off. I call Carlisle to tell him that I can go.

"We'll be right there. It all depends on traffic," he answers, sounding happy. It sounds like they had a good time together.

"Okay. I'll wait here."

I'm so happy Kenna has taken to him so quickly. She doesn't really like strangers, preferring to keep close to those she knows and loves.

Carlisle is the second person after Derek that she became attached to. There's still a part of me afraid of how she'll react if Carlisle and I don't work out. I push that ugly thought aside and sit on the bench outside the building.

The first thing I'm doing with the money I just got is buy a cell phone. I'm done with the hospital and their fucking bills, so I'll be able to pay this bill monthly.

I'm so lost in my thoughts, that when I feel Kenna on my lap, I jump, startled, but quickly encase her in my arms, squeezing her close.

"Hey, baby. Did you have fun?" I ask, stroking her hair.

"Yep! It was awesome, Daddy! We saw animaws! We ate lots of ice cream! I sat on a wof!"

The more she talks, the wider my eyes grow and the closer I get to a heart attack.

"What?" I shout after her last exclamation. "Where have you been?" I inquire, raising my head to see Carlisle in front of me.

"The zoo, of course," he says promptly.

"Is it true? Did you allow her near a wolf? How is that possible?" I'm going into a full blown panic attack.

"A toy wolf, Edward. The ones kids ride, you know…it rocks back and forth?"

"Oh." My heart settles a little. "Lots of ice cream, huh?" I add, pursing my lips.

"I couldn't say no." He shrugs apologetically.

Arranging Kenna better in my arms, I stand. "It sounds like fun."

"Yes! Lots and lots of fun!" She beams at me.

We go to the car where I'm shocked to see a huge, stuffed panda bear in the backseat.

"What's that?" I know for a fact that huge, plush toys are obscenely expensive.

"This is Xu, Daddy," Kenna announces to me, crawling next to the enormous bear. "Daddy C told me Chines have short names with lots of X and W in them."

I try to conceal my amusement at how serious she sounds. "I see." I nod. "Isn't Xu a little too big?"

"No! Neveh! Xu is my best fwend!"

"Okay, okay." I shake my head, strapping her seatbelt.

Once her door is closed, I turn to Carlisle, who looks rather sheepish.

"Seriously? You're spoiling her. And she's not allowed many sweets."

"Relax, Edward. We had fun. She loved it at the zoo."

I inhale deeply. "I bet. She hasn't been there before," I mumble, feeling awful for not making time to take her to the zoo.

"That explains all the running around and cooing over every animal." He chuckles. "We'll go again, don't worry. With you."

"Sounds good."

We slip inside the car. Kenna sings along with every song on the radio. I try to shush her, but to my surprise, Carlisle ups the volume and joins her.

I still can't put together his personality. He looks like the perfect family man, but hides a darker, kinkier side deep inside him. I love both sides of him – they define his person.

When we arrive back at his place, Kenna tugs me to the guest room to show me what else Carlisle got her. Apparently, the panda bear is only one of the many stuffed toys he bought her.

I feel bad for not helping him with lunch, but I have to play daddy. It's been too long since I just played anything with Kenna.

There is a box full of small animals. It looks like there are most of the species. I spend the next hour introducing them to Kenna. She knows most of them, but gets confused over the leopard and cheetah. She makes a funny face when I try to explain that the splotches are different.

"It's stupid. They awe the same."

Right. If she refuses to keep arguing, she says it's stupid.

I leave it at that and move on.

I'm telling her the differences between geese and swans when Carlisle pokes his head inside. To me, it's easy, but I'm sure it's hard for her to tell them apart. When I was little I knew that the swan had longer neck than the goose. Easy.

Kenna jumps off the bed and runs to Carlisle, hugging him around the waist.

This is definitely unusual.

"Are you playing with what we got?" he asks, picking her up.

"Yep. They're nice."

"Did you thank Daddy C?" I suddenly ask, trying hard not to laugh. Her chosen nickname for Carlisle is too funny.

"Yes, Daddy. Duh!" She rolls her eyes at me before snuggling better into his arms.

Carlisle looks close to bursting in laughter, too.

"How about we eat some lunch, then you take a nap?" he suggests.

"Okay!"

He turns to leave. I stare after them in disbelief.

What just happened?

Kenna will never agree to nap so easily. Something's up. Definitely.

Lunch goes smoothly.

If I haven't done it myself or seen Jazz doing it every fucking moment, I'd have said Carlisle was insane. But he looks smitten for the lack of another word.

Every second Kenna wants something, he jumps to do it.

It reminds me of how Jazz and I were in the beginning. It was tough when she was a baby and we had no idea why she was crying, but as she grew up, it got better.

When her plate is polished, she waits for us to finish. Then we take her to the guest room and put her in bed. One story later, she's fast asleep.

As we step in the hallway, Carlisle catches my eye. I know what he wants, because I want it too.

"We won't stay for too long. I promise," he whispers.

"What do you have in mind?" I wonder, following him down the stairs to the basement.

"We're going to work on your gag reflex."

I stop right outside the Playroom door, knowing that if I step in there I won't be able to talk freely.

"Come, Edward," he urges me.

"I'm not sure I can," I tell him loudly. "Whatever you do, it's going to be the same."

"What are you talking about?"

"The gag reflex!" I snap. "I can't, and that's it."

"Are you raising your voice at me?" Carlisle asks shocked.

"I refuse to do that again," I demand, narrowing my eyes at him.

We glare at each other for a few long minutes, before I'm snatched inside the Playroom. The door closes tightly behind us.

"What I love about this room?" Carlisle murmurs inquisitorially, not expecting an answer. "It's soundproof."

I gulp, feeling rather scared.

"Edward, I'm aware that we'll have our fair share of spats. Everyone has them. But I won't tolerate you yelling at me like that and refusing to do something purely based on fear of the unknown."

"It's not unknown!" I shout without realizing. "I simply can't take it!"

He purses his lips and shakes his head. "Because you're acting like a petulant child, we're going to work on your attitude," he states calmly. "Strip."

I want to argue more, but angrily strip myself of the clothes.


	14. Chapter 14

"Go near the cross and wait there," Carlisle instructs me sternly.

I want to argue and tell him the concept of being tied to that thing scared me shitless, but I comply.

He approaches me a few minutes later.

"Open your mouth."

My eyes widen when I see the device in his hand.

"Today," he demands.

Reluctantly, with my heart beating its way out of my chest, I open my mouth. He places the gag between my lips. It's not a normal gag-ball like the ones he showed me before – it's like a short dildo. The head of the thing rests at the back of my tongue making me gag, my eyes tearing up.

"You'll get used to it," Carlisle says dismissively. "Now, face the cross and spread your limbs."

I carefully raise my arms, and almost immediately, he cuffs my wrists in place. Then he cuffs my ankles.

"Here. Don't drop this." He places something in my hand. "Squeeze it once for green, twice for yellow and three times for red. Clear?"

I squeeze once, jumping at the sound the plastic thing makes. I glance at it and realize it's a stress toy that squeaks. _Only Carlisle_ , I think, amused.

"I don't want to hear a sound from you."

I squeeze once to show him I understand.

Something thin and long connects harshly with my bare ass. I bite the gag toy from my mouth to keep from whimpering.

The blows keep coming on different parts of my butt.

"Are you going to be a good boy?" Carlisle asks loudly.

I squeeze the plastic toy once.

His bare hand spanks me four slaps on each cheek in quick succession.

"Don't you ever question an order in this room!"

I squeeze again.

A minute later, he unties my wrists and ankles, turning me around. He re-cuffs them before taking the gag toy from my mouth. I cough a few times, breathing harshly.

"I still don't want any sound from you," Carlisle reminds me, taking a whip from the floor. He most likely used it on my ass.

After a whooshing sound, the whip connects with my abdomen, making me suck in a breath. He does it again and again.

The cuffs don't allow me to bend over, to protect myself.

When the blow lands dangerously close to my semi, I gasp, squirming.

"Tsk, tsk." Carlisle strokes my dick with the tip of the whip, hardening me. He holds me in one hand, then with the other, taps the whip all over my length.

It doesn't hurt.

The sting is so fucking pleasurable, it brings me to the brink.

I whimper. Carlisle's head snaps up, narrowing his eyes at me.

I beg him with my eyes.

"No."

I want to cry.

When he stands and turns around, I relax, hoping it's over.

I'm wrong.

He returns to my side with a flogger. Before I can comprehend what's going on, his wrist twists in precise movements, covering my chest and stomach in long, thin red lines. Then he applies the same treatment to my aching dick.

Fuck!

I arch my back, gritting my teeth.

"Please!" I beg, knowing I'll be in trouble for talking. " _Please_."

"Did I allow you to talk, Copper?"

I shake my head, pushing away the sensation in the pit of my stomach.

"Then quit whining like a needy bitch!"

The flogger lands on my balls and crack, making me moan.

"Cum, and you'll experience the worst case of blue balls you've ever had!" he threatens me.

I can't hold it.

One more blow over my cock makes it twitch and erupt on both of us.

I stare at him, worried. I'm afraid of what he can do.

"Copper, you're in trouble," Carlisle hisses.

He unlocks my wrists and ankles.

"Kneel."

I immediately listen to him, taking the position he taught me.

"You learn fast," he comments, stroking a hand through my hair. "But I'm upset."

I stare at his bare feet until he tugs at my hair. His eyes are crystal blue as he gazes at me calmly.

"When do you start the new project?"

"What?" I frown.

The back of his other hand connects quite hard with my left cheek. "Don't forget your place, boy!"

"I'm sorry, Master!" I apologize quickly. _Fuck, I'm so stupid._

"Oh, you'll be sorry in a minute. I have to take care of that disobedient cock of yours."

Carlisle turns on his heels and heads to the chest of drawers by the door.

_Whoa!_

It's definitely not the first time I've seen his back.

Why the hell didn't I see that tattoo before?

Now I understand why he's into tattoos and skin imprinting, or whatever was written in the contract. I wonder what the Chinese symbols mean.

"Never seen my tattoo before?"

I startle at being caught.

"No, Master," I whisper.

"Huh. We'll discuss it later." He kneels in front of me and kisses my forehead reassuringly. "I really hate punishing you. Try not to get hard."

I nod, looking down at what he's doing.

Oh, I'm so, _so_ fucked!

He has a cock cage.

"You didn't answer. When is the hospital project starting?"

"Next week, I think. Uh, Master."

Carlisle smiles. "Plenty of time for you to learn your lesson."

"That long?" I shout. "I mean, are you going to keep this on my stick for a week, Master?"

"It all depends on you, sugar."

I gulp loudly.

He locks my poor dick in that cage, then stands, towering above me. "Open." I relax my mouth open for him to guide his rod inside. "Now suck, like a good cock whore."

I make to touch his hips but get slapped.

"Hands linked behind you. For that slip, I'm going to fuck your mouth quick. Every time you gag, I'll push further."

Offering me no time to respond in any way, he pushes deep down my throat. I'm shocked when my muscles don't lock up. Carlisle smiles, holding me by the hair. He starts slipping in and out of my mouth. I feel my lips drying along with my mouth, so I try swallowing. That earns a loud curse from Carlisle and an encouragement to do it again.

Doing this always arouses me.

I wish it didn't have any effect on my body - my dick is in pain, unable to grow inside the damn cage.

Thankfully, Carlisle releases his load down my throat.

He leads me to the corner of the room where there is a sink - somehow I missed it on my tour. Huh. We clean up, get dressed and leave. His hand is encased in mine, reassuring me at every step that if I'm extra good I won't have to wear the cage for more than twenty-four hours.

We find Kenna awake and on the couch, watching TV.

"When did you wake up?" I ask, sitting next to her. I feel like I'm freaking out. I'm a horrible parent.

She shrugs. "You napped, too?"

I glance at Carlisle who looks quite pale.

"We need to establish some rules for her to announce to us when she's awake," he muses, scratching the back of his neck.

"You were not in your room." She pouts.

"We were a little busy," I explain.

"I'll buy a baby monitor or a walkie-talkie," Carlisle offers. "Sound good?"

"Would you like that?" I question Kenna, wrapping my arms around her.

She nods, snuggling on my lap. "You had alone time with Daddy C? Like with Daddy Jay?"

Damn, she's so smart.

My face flames. "Something like that." I drop a kiss on her forehead.

"It's okay, Daddy. Daddy Jay said alone time is important."

Carlisle chuckles, sitting next to us. "But you're more important. That's why we're going right now to buy a couple walkie-talkies."

"Really?" Her green eyes light up. "Is it okay?" She turns to me.

"Of course, sweetie. Let's change our clothes first."

We go to a children's toy store.

Of course, what Carlisle bought for her earlier isn't enough. She wants more toys.

I threaten Carlisle with bodily harm if he pays for anything. We compromise – he pays for the walkie-talkies if we find them, I pay for whatever else Kenna might want.

He's amused by my threat, but he shouldn't be. He doesn't really know me that well.

When the basket is full of plush toys and a few dolls, we reach the walkie-talkies. Kenna scrunches her little nose at the princess ones, pointing to the ones with Disney's Cars on them. Works for me.

We pay for our purchases then head home. While I bathe Kenna, Carlisle fiddles with the walkie-talkies.

When we're done, I take her to the living room. There's no Carlisle, but there's the gray device on the coffee table. I grab it and bring it close to my mouth.

"Carlisle?"

"Yeah?"

"It woks!" Kenna shouts, snatching the monitor from my hands. "Hi, Daddy C!"

"Hi, little bug."

She beams at me. "Can I have the red one?"

"Sure thing, little one!"

He appears at the top of the stairs, but before he can reach the ground floor, Kenna rushes to him. She takes his walkie-talkie and turns to me, grinning.

"Hi, Daddy!" she squeals in it.

"Come back here," I say amused.

"Nope!" She wraps her arms around Carlisle's neck, kissing his cheek soundly. "Can we have sweets?"

"I'm not sure. What does daddy say?" he asks me, grinning.

"Hmm. I'm not sure. You seem to love him more," I pretend to be upset.

"Neveh! You the bestest Daddy ever!" Kenna squirms out of his arms and skips to me. "Now can I have sweets?"

"She knows what she wants. I like that." Carlisle laughs.

I pick her up, walking toward the kitchen, stopping next to Carlisle and kissing his lips. I'm trying to be extra good – maybe he'll take the cage off tonight.

At least, it doesn't feel weird…much.

Kenna takes my mind off it. She always has this effect on me.


	15. Chapter 15

Moments later, we settle in front of the TV with cookies and milk.

After a light argument, Kenna ends up on top of a few blankets, on the floor, but not as close to the TV set as she wanted. We always have a problem with that.

I bump Carlisle's knee. We're on the couch, trying to watch the movie.

"May I ask why you owe such a movie? _Tangled_? Seriously?" I mumble under my breath.

"I recently purchased it. Not exactly my taste, but someone seems to enjoy it," he answers, putting his hand on my thigh. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I guess."

He sighs heavily. "I know I've been breaking my own rules ever since we've entered this agreement, but this is absurd. Your punishment has already been reduced from one week to one day. Now, I feel so horrible I want to excuse you from it entirely."

"Really?" I ask hopefully.

I know I'm okay because there aren't stimuli to arouse me, but if he keeps stroking my thigh, it might get painful.

"Maybe once the movie is over?" Carlisle suggests, cocking his head to the side.

The movie lasts forever, in my opinion.

Honestly, I don't even follow it.

My focus is on the hand that rests on my thigh, dangerously close to my restrained dick.

After Kenna's bath, we put her to bed and head to Carlisle's room. He immediately starts working on my jeans.

"I have the key in the Playroom," he whispers before slipping out of the room.

I sit on the edge of the bed, pushing my jeans and boxers down. When he comes back, I hope a little more will happen – that he's forgiven me.

He returns quickly, kneeling between my legs.

_Ah, sweet relief._

His hands stroke my dick slowly, almost caressing it. Then he leans closer and wraps his tongue around the tip. I fist the bed sheet, bucking my hips. Without warning, he takes my whole dick in his mouth, sucking hard. I grow steadily, loving the feeling of being in his mouth.

I realize it's the first time he's given me head. Fuck, he's great at it!

I know I need to cherish this experience because it won't happen often.

Unsure if I'm allowed, I wrap one hand in his hair. Carlisle moans around my dick, quickening his pace. One hand cups my balls, tugging at them, massaging them, while the other rubs around my hole.

I can feel my orgasm building deep in the pit of my stomach.

Carlisle brings me to the brink a few times, before stopping and kissing my thigh, my stomach, twisting my nipples. He's tormenting my body in the most delicious ways.

"Suck." He presses two fingers inside my mouth. I lick them, slurping around them as if it was his cock. "Enough." He removes the fingers, moving them against my crack, slowly slipping inside.

"Ah!" I cry out, arching my back.

"You like it," he teases me, sucking on one of my balls. He pushes a third finger inside me as he takes my dick back in his mouth.

"So good!" I moan. "Fuck, I have to come!"

Carlisle moves his fingers faster, crisscrossing them, nailing my prostate with every push. The whole time his suction increases before he takes me in deep in his mouth and swallows around me.

I'm done.

I erupt down his throat, cursing loudly.

He joins me on the bed, hugging me tightly as I try to turn him on his back. "Don't worry about me. I wanted to make you feel good."

I grin and snuggle closer in his arms.

As we lie there, running our fingers over the other's back, I remember about his tattoo. I try to touch his spine, exactly where I remember the writing is.

"Tell me about this," I whisper.

Carlisle rolls on his stomach, propping his head on a hand. "I'll translate the symbols for you," he offers, smiling.

"Works for me. You know them in order?" I'm surprised.

"Of course. I'll start with my neck and go down."

I nod and lean closer, touching the two symbols at the base of his neck.

"Freedom, honor, harmony, morality, wisdom, hope, together, beautiful, lucky, love. These are feelings I have experienced through my life. I fought for them at times, and I think that I finally found a way to combine them all. I'm at that moment in life when I need them to work together like a well-oiled machine."

"Oh, wow. That's truly beautiful," I murmur, touching the Chinese symbols on his spine. "Did it hurt?"

"What, sugar?" He turns to me.

"To have it done."

"A little. The spine is a sensitive place. I've been thinking for some time about having another one done – on my arm." He pats his right bicep.

"I've always wanted a tattoo, I told you." I sigh.

"Your husband didn't want you to," Carlisle states.

"Oh, no!" I laugh. "Jazz thought it was hot. He was just afraid of needles. But we never settled on anything. Then we had Kenna and we decided against the tattoo if we wanted to look like responsible parents." I chuckle, shaking my head. "We were so young and silly."

"Well, that's true. You're acting way too old for your age. When I was young, I wouldn't be caught home before two or three AM on an _unlucky_ night," he says amused. "If I was lucky, I was coming home with my boyfriend, or just the catch of the night, in the early hours of the morning. But that was happening in college. Once I started med school, shit got tough and I barely went out."

"You say it as if you're over forty or something. You can't be that old," I tell him quietly.

We haven't touched this subject before…for unknown reasons.

"How old are you, Edward?"

"Twenty-six," I whisper, suddenly feeling shy.

I know he is at least thirty because, heck, I can see it on his face. But I don't care.

Carlisle cups my cheek, rubbing his thumb over it softly. "Well, I'm almost thirty-seven. My birthday is at the end of October."

"That's a few weeks away!" I exclaim, shocked. "Were you going to tell me?"

"Eventually." He smirks, leaning to kiss me. "Really, don't worry about it. I never make a huge event out of it, besides…that time of year is busy."

"At the hospital?" I wonder.

He shakes his head. "Starting with the end of October, there are play parties until New Year."

"Play parties?" I frown. "Are they something you attend often?"

"Every year, but this year, we need to discuss it. We don't have to be there at every party."

"What happens at those parties?" I ask, curiously. I'd like to accompany him.

"The first party is always on my birthday or a day after. That will make it around the twenty-seventh of the month. We can go to that one just so you can see what they're like. It's usually just a get-together, talking about what happened over the year, how we've been." He shrugs one shoulder. "We can leave whenever we want. You have to tell me when it's too much, and we'll go."

I nod. "So what do you do?" I persist. "Is it like some kind of… I don't know, orgy?" I whisper tentatively. I'm not sure I want that.

Carlisle starts laughing heartily, making me scowl at him.

"Oh, Edward! Of course not! Only those who want that kind of thing would get involved in that. There are rooms in the house, and every couple can go to whatever room they want and use the objects inside it. There will always be people watching, unless the couple closes the door."

"Whoa! They're watching while…others…?"

"Yes. It's a great turn on. Remember; that's how I fell in love with this," he says gently.

"Right. Uh, okay. I mean, we can go to that first party and see…if I like it."

"We will. You just need to behave all the time we're there."

I nod, letting my head fall on his shoulder, yawning. "Sorry, I guess I'm tired."

"Sleep." He kisses my head, dragging the blanket over us.

A hand shaking my arm wakes me up after too few hours of sleep. I refuse to come around, rolling away from the annoying hand.

"Edward, I don't want to wake you, but I just got called to the hospital," Carlisle whispers, his breath washing over my ear.

"Hmm."

"I'm leaving the spare house key in the kitchen. I don't know when I'll be back. They told me it was a big accident."

I nod into the pillow, dragging the blanket over my head.

And he's gone. I go back to my much needed sleep.

The next time I wake up is to Kenna jumping on the bed next to me.

"Wakey, wakey, Daddy!"

"I'm up," I mumble, grabbing her waist and hugging her close to me. "Let me enjoy the week off."

"But Daddy!"

Ah.

"What do you wanna do today?" I ask sleepily. I'm so tired…

"Can we play cards? Or go to the park? Or color?" She's so exuberant today…like every day.

"Sure thing, sweetie. We need to go home to get the cards and coloring books. We can even stay home if you want. Actually, we should probably do just that. We haven't slept at home in too long," I suggest.

"I like here." She pouts.

"I know, baby, but we can't sleep here every night."

Not so soon.

We're just starting this.

Once we're dressed for the day, washed and fed, I take the spare key and leave. I only take it, knowing Carlisle could want me in the Playroom any time and I need a way in – or so I fool myself.

I go home against my better judgment.

It's too soon to move in, or just sleep there most of the time, but I should know that such a deep connection is rare.

Once home, I collect the bills from the mail box, handing them to Kenna while I unlock the door.

"What's this, Daddy?" she asks confused, showing me an envelope.

My eyebrows rise, not knowing. I haven't seen that one before.

After turning it over, I see it's from the bank.

Huh.

"Can I pack my coloring books?"

I glance at Kenna and nod, ripping open the envelope. I'm dying of curiosity. I can't imagine a reason for them to send me a letter.

When I see the content, I remember about the loan.

How fucking stupid of me to forget about the loan?

It helped with everything.

_Holy fuck!_

Just when I thought I was done with the bills, this crap had to come!

I fist the paper in my hand, restraining a string of curse words that threaten to explode out of my mouth.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

Rock bottom now has a whole new meaning.

_What the hell did I ever do wrong to deserve such a crappy life?_

_What, God?_

I glare at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay.

I hate it when Kenna sees me falling apart.

We were starting to get back on our feet. It was wonderful…

I rub a fist over my left eye.

I still remember fighting with Jazz about the amount we wanted to borrow. I told him three grand would be better than two. I was such a fucking idiot.

I didn't once think of repaying them… _how_ I'd do it.

"Kenna, baby, I'll be right back. I think there was something else in the mail box," I lie, my voice shaking.

She nods. "Okay, Daddy."

I flee out of the studio, closing the door tightly behind me and slumping against the wall, my face pressed into it.

"Fucking shit!" I hiss, punching the wall, then kicking it with my foot. "Fuck! FUCK!"

I don't even feel the pain.

I'm numb.

I'm swamped in my own debt.

As I brush away my tears, I idly wonder what I'd have done if Kenna wasn't around.

I know the answer, but I can't even think it.

My baby needs me.

Right before reentering the studio, I promise myself to not drag Carlisle into my problems.


	16. Chapter 16

I spend the day coloring with Kenna and preparing lunch.

She loves it in the kitchen.

Late that evening, while I'm towel drying Kenna's hair after her bath, the small cell phone Carlisle gave me rings loudly.

Apprehensively, I answer.

"Hello," I greet him.

"Why aren't you back? Is everything okay?" Carlisle asks worried.

"Yes…it's okay. I thought we should spend some time home," I tell him slowly.

 _Don't flip_ , I silently beg him.

"Why? I don't understand."

"Carlisle, I think…it's too soon to spend so many nights at your place."

"Can I spend the night at your place?" he almost begs me.

 _Shit_.

I turn to look at the small bed then snort. "Uh, I barely fit there with Kenna."

"Then come back to me."

"I'm not so sure…"

Hell, I'm rubbish at this.

I'd been with Jazz since high school, so we didn't share a house until college. I have no idea how a new relationship works. But I bet the new couple doesn't have sleepovers every night. Right?

"We're going to Daddy C?" Kenna asks hopefully, watching me with huge, green eyes.

"You can't say no to her." Carlisle must have heard her.

I'm so fucking easy it's not even funny.

"Alright, alright," I moan. They both seem to have me wrapped around their little fingers.

"Good. Or else…I'd have demanded your presence in the Playroom." His tone sends shivers of pleasure down my spine.

"We'll be there soon," I promise and hang up.

Kenna is beaming at me. "Yay! Sleepover at Daddy C!"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes as I start packing more clothes and the stuff we will need. I have a feeling I won't be seeing much of our little studio from now on.

My backpack is filled with most of our clothes and spare shoes for Kenna. Her small, pink backpack is stuffed with snacks and sweets. She raided the kitchen, carrying everything in her little arms, grinning at me.

How could I ever say no to her?

Her coloring and story books go to a spare plastic bag, along with some of her toys.

It looks like we're moving away.

I grab the car keys and usher her out of the studio before she can take who knows what else. I'm about to lock the door when she gasps.

"The pillow!"

"Daddy C has pillows, too," I tell her, amused.

"No, Daddy! The special glowing pillow from Daddy J!" she whines, rocking on her feet. "Phhhleaseee."

"Aw, baby..." I protest weakly, opening the door. She rushes inside, returning a moment later with the big, green pillow. It has Bambi on it, which glows in the night.

After locking up, I take her hand, walking to my car. I hope it starts or I'll have to carry all our shit, including Kenna, to Carlisle's place.

Luck is on my side - at least, in this aspect.

As I drive the few streets to Carlisle's, I think of all kinds of possibilities to save us from the mess we're in.

I can sell the car, but I won't get much on it.

If it works with Carlisle, I can sell the studio, too. Before I can get too excited, I remember that I don't own it. Crap.

Okay...so I sell the car...maybe get a better job...

What kind of job pays as much as I need?

I nearly snort to myself as one thing comes to my mind - prostitute.

Yeah, right.

"Can we play with the walkie-talkie thingies?" Kenna asks from the backseat.

"Sure thing, honey. But tomorrow. It's pretty late now," I remind her.

"A little?" she begs.

I'm so gonna cave.

I park the car behind Carlisle's Merc, slide out and help Kenna. As we're heading to the front door, it opens and an angelic looking Carlisle steps out, almost running to us.

Damn, the things he can make me feel.

It's still hard to piece the amalgam of puzzle pieces that form his personality, but I'm learning more and more about his character.

"Were you going to desert me?" he asks quietly, hugging me tightly.

"Of course not," I retort. "I just think it's too early to sleep over every night."

"Being a doctor…opened my eyes so much of how anything could happen at any moment. I live in the moment, Edward. And I'd love to live in the moment with you and Kenna by my side."

I nod, understanding him. I know how mean life can be - it can rip the dear ones from you in a blink of an eye.

"So, you see where I stand?" he probes.

"Alright," I agree.

I'm left carrying the backpacks while he takes Kenna in his arms, kissing her cheek. She ducks her head, giving me a wide smile over Carlisle's shoulder. Then she settles her little head against his neck and closes her eyes.

I haven't seen Kenna content around a stranger…ever.

She likes Bella because she's known her since she was a baby, but she's still reluctant to open up around Jacob. Since he's busy with his car shop most of the time, she didn't get to see him much when she was little.

I don't even want to think of her first kindergarten day. I have no idea who was more troubled – Kenna or me.

Jazz was in the hospital. I was working almost every waking moment to help with the fucking bills, and then that emotional moment crashed me. Emmett had given me the day off, so after I dropped Kenna at kindergarten, I went to Jasper. And I bawled like a little baby about Kenna growing up, about how much I needed him to get better, how I couldn't do this alone. He made an inhuman effort, considering only a few months later, he lost the battle, and accompanied me to the kindergarten to collect Kenna.

She was on cloud nine, jumping around, hugging his leg, begging to be in his arms, presenting us to her new teachers. She adapted really well to the new environment. Some of her teachers and other parents weren't exactly pleased to see our family, but I didn't give a shit about them. Jasper smiled that day more than I'd seen him smile since he had fallen ill. I wished so badly I could show him how much I appreciated his effort to come with me, to show him how much I loved him, what he meant to me. But I couldn't.

I didn't even kiss him, considering he denied any contact, afraid I'd get the virus. I regret to this day not showing him how much his gesture had moved me.

"Coming?"

Carlisle's voice startles me. He looks worriedly at me.

I plaster a smile on my face, pushing away the bad thoughts, and follow him inside the house.

As I toe my shoes off, he leans over me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "We're talking about this when she's in bed."

"Okay," I whisper roughly.

"I hope you won't be mad, but I have a surprise for Kenna. That truly upset me when I saw you weren't here."

"Sorry," I mumble. "What surprise could get me mad?" I wonder.

He looks a little nervous as he gestures to the living room. I'm dying of curiosity.

"Oh, you found him," he gasps, smiling at Kenna.

"Another toy?" I groan. She's holding a fluffy, plush toy. "WHOA!" I freeze when the toy moves in her hands.

It's something alive.

"Look, Daddy!"

I take a step back upon seeing the rodent. I hate rodents.

"How upset are you?" Carlisle asks sheepishly.

I gulp, trying to fight my fear of the small animal, but it doesn't work. "Uh…Kenna, don't come any closer," I beg her.

"Why? Don't you like him?" She hugs the hamster or whatever that thing is. "He's so soft and squishy."

I glance at Carlisle before rushing to the kitchen. I can't be around that thing.

"I'm so sorry, sugar." I feel his arms around me. "I should have asked, but she seemed really fond of the guinea pigs on our zoo trip."

"Is that what it is?" I ask carefully.

"Yes. I told her there was a present for her on the couch, then came back for you. You looked miles away."

I gulp and shrug.

"So the pet is a no-go?" he checks, sadly.

"Carlisle," I drag his name out. "Some people hate spiders or high places; I hate rodents. They give me the creeps."

"We can find something else," he offers, as we turn to stare at Kenna. She's on the couch, hugging the furry thing to her chest, petting it.

"No," I say vehemently. "She likes your present. I won't take it away, but please…for fuck's sake, make sure it's locked away."

Carlisle pats my back. "You'll get over this fear, don't worry."

We walk to Kenna and I take a seat, far away from her and the guinea pig.

"Daddy C," she says in a small voice, depositing the animal on her lap. "I can't keep him." She points to the rodent.

"Don't you like him, sweetie?" he asks confused.

There are tears in her eyes as they meet mine for a second. "Daddy hates it."

Oh, for Christ's sake.

I feel tears in my eyes too. She's too fucking much.

"Don't worry about me. I guess Carlisle's right. I'll get used to the thing. Does it have a name yet?"

Her eyes find mine again, but this time they're full of hope. "Really?"

"Of course, angel. You like it. It's a present from Daddy C. You can't say no."

"Can I call him Squishy?" she asks hopefully, hugging the guinea pig to her chest.

"It's your pet, darling," Carlisle tells her softly. "Come, see his house. I installed him in your room."

Both Kenna and I stare at him with gaping mouths.

"My room?"

Exactly my thoughts, baby.

_Her room?_

"Oh." He looks sheepish. It doesn't really suit him. "I'm thinking of turning that guest room into your room, but I need your help. We can change anything you want and make it the best princess room in the world."

Fuck.

They're killing me with the mushiness.

My heart aches, my stomach is in knots, and I can't breathe right.

I never thought to seek someone to help me raise Kenna. Then Carlisle appeared literally out of nowhere and stole our hearts, moseying his way into our lives, taking them over.

We head to Kenna's supposed room. She's still hugging the thing.

Huh.

I never thought to buy her a pet…not like I have money for another mouth, but the thought should have counted.

Whoa!

My eyes widen when I see the mini castle for the rodent. Of course Carlisle wouldn't buy a normal cage for the thing.

"Wow! It's so pretty!" Kenna screeches, rushing to the grey cage…or whatever it is.

I'm hoping the rat will get lost in the maze of his new home.


	17. Chapter 17

Once Kenna's asleep - and that took ages since she was super excited over her new pet and having her own room at Daddy C's place - we're nursing a tea on the couch. We're going to have a serious talk. I know that. It scares the shit out of me.

My fingers find a hole in my jeans and start tugging at it. Carlisle's hand covers mine soothingly.

"Sugar, what's on your mind?"

My heart kind of stutters at my nickname. I like it.

"Just thinking..." I mumble.

"About?" he prompts me, his thumb rubbing my knuckle. "You looked really troubled earlier."

My throat constricts. "Ja..." I swallow. "Jasper."

Before I register it, I'm in his arms. His lips are pressing against my temple. I feel...cared for - dare I say loved.

"Can you tell me?"

I feel a tear sliding down my left cheek. It falls on our joined hands.

"I have no idea where to start," I say honestly. "I guess, I'll start with Bella."

"Bella?" he asks confused.

"My friend, the one that helps me with Kenna."

"Oh, alright."

"Her dad died and well, her boyfriend was in San Diego at some car show or some shit. He owns a garage. I left Kenna with our neighbor as I took the first plane with Bella to her hometown. Jazz never liked our neighbor where we used to live, but I couldn't do anything else with her."

"It's hard to choose sometimes," Carlisle acknowledges.

"I guess I see his point, but I couldn't leave Bella. She was a mess."

"What happened?"

"When we returned, Jazz flipped. How could I leave Kenna, who was sick at the time, with our neighbor and go with my uh, bitchy friend. I think those were his words. I tried to reason with him, but he didn't have any of it, and ended up leaving...more like storming out of our house."

"And...I still don't understand how he got the disease. You were married."

I purse my lips. "He drank himself stupid...and some fucker took advantage of him...or so I've been telling myself. Jazz loved me more than anything. I know he wouldn't have cheated if he was sober or the timing was different. And I'm not making up excuses because he was my husband...I just know him." God knows how many times I've been told that I was blinded by my love for him. I never listened to anyone - I knew our feelings.

"I really don't want to judge," Carlisle whispers. "But, sugar, that was revenge."

I sigh heavily. "Sometimes, he acted before he thought. Carlisle, he begged me to forgive him for months, years after it happened...even before he knew he was sick." My voice shakes.

"Had you...slept with him before you knew?"

I groan, pushing away from his hug. "Obviously. And no, I'm not sick...as you know. I had that fucking test taken a dozen times!" I snap. "If you do this...you're just as bad as all the others that judge!"

"Shh, Edward. I didn't mean anything. I'm just worried for you." He gets up and kneels at my feet. "Please, sugar. Understand that I didn't mean it like that."

We sit there in silence for ages. His head is on my lap and I stroke his hair idly.

"Can you tell me about you, please?" I beg.

"What about me?" he slurs sleepily.

"Well...you said some time ago...that you know about parents forgetting about kids if they're in pain..." I remind him, worried of his reaction.

"Hmm...You've got a good memory, sugar."

"Of course! I'm not ancient like you!" I joke, earning myself a light slap on my thigh.

"I'll show you ancient! I can go for an hour!" he boasts, tilting his head to beam at me.

I feel my dick coming to life in my pants.

_No_.

He's trying to distract me.

_And it's my fault. I started this discussion._

"Sugar, I'd rather not stir the past demons right now. Though, I appreciate it that you opened up."

"Give me something at least," I plead with him.

"My father was shot, being at the wrong time in the wrong place. My mother couldn't live with that. She blamed me because I wanted a car-shaped cake for my birthday."

"Oh…" My fucking heart aches for him. I have no idea what to say, because I've been in his place. I absolutely hate it when people pity the one in pain or just say some supposedly comforting words just because it's customary. I tend to believe silence speaks volumes.

"I was only six. I didn't know shit about real life."

I tug him up and hug him tightly. He straddles my hips, seeking my mouth.

The air changes so suddenly. From filled with tension to sexually charged. _Lust is in the air_ …I almost snort at my thought.

"Let's go to bed," Carlisle murmurs against my jaw. He's doing delicious things to it, disabling me from forming a coherent thought.

I allow him to pull me up and tug me to his bedroom. We stop several times, pressing against each other or into the walls, kissing and groping. I haven't felt such primal instincts in a long time.

Once in the safety of his room, we start undressing – more like ripping off our clothes.

I don't know what he has planned…if there's a plan, but I feel a sudden urge to wrap my lips around his hard dick. It's so fucking beautiful.

"Wha… Edwa…"

Carlisle's hands are on my shoulders, trying to push me, but not really. He can't even speak right.

I cherish the fact that I can wrap my arms around his hips, bringing him closer and showing him that I'm a fast learner. I take him deep in my throat, relaxing the muscles. He shudders and curses loudly.

"Sugar…stop, please," he begs, threading his fingers through my hair. "I want to last."

I pull off from his erection with a loud pop, smirking up at him. "What about the hours of hot wicked sex you promised?" I mock pout.

"Ah, ah, ah! How about I take you over my knee for that attitude?"

Fuuuck.

My cock is leaking.

I like that thought.

The rational part of my brain has gone to sleep.

"Yes, please. _Please_ , I've been a bad boy," I moan, shivers going up and down my spine.

Fuck, I haven't been this turned on in ages.

His huge, blue eyes meet mine. He's surprised.

I bite my lip, looking up at him through my lashes.

I swallow a couple of times, encouraging myself to say the next words.

What can happen?

He can laugh and say no or…pounce.

"Please, Daddy C," I add quietly.

The reaction… _holy fucking Christ_ …it's nothing like I expected.

His eyes roll back, his hands tighten in my hair, and his dick twitches a few times, precum beading out at the slit.

Without thinking, because I'm not really thinking right, I lean forward and lick him.

Carlisle groans from deep in his chest, ramming his cock in my mouth. Holding my head steady, he pushes and pulls, never taking his eyes off mine.

When he steps back and heads to the bed, I'm sure I have overstepped some invisible line. Until he turns his head to me and extends a hand.

"Come, sugar."

I scramble to my feet and approach cautiously. He cups my cheek and kisses me deeply.

"You want to play?" he asks amused.

I sigh in relief and shrug. "I have no idea…why I said it."

"Oh, I think I do." He strokes my cheek. "You need someone to take control because you lost it…over so many aspects of your life. I'll be more than grateful to help."

I nod. He's right. Of course, he is.

My life is chaos right now.

"Do you want over my knee?"

I moan and nod quickly.

Carlisle sits on the edge of the bed before draping my body across his knees. His hand strokes my ass a couple of time before it disappears, only to land quite hard above my crack.

"Shit!" I hiss.

"Shh. Don't wake Kenna, now," he chides me, spanking me again.

I snatch one of the pillows and bite on it, muffling my shouts and moans of pleasure as he keeps hitting me. Somewhere in the back of my head, I know that the reason I want and enjoy this is very wrong – I failed to handle my responsibilities and I want Carlisle to punish me for that. As long as he doesn't realize my true reason…I'm safe. I think.

"Ohhhhh!" I cry out as his thumb pushes against my hole.

"Don't you dare cum!" he threatens me lightly.

I whine as he kneads my ass cheeks, his thumb sliding further in. He keeps up this sweet torture until he turns me so I'm lying across the bed. He straddles my legs, sliding his rod between my cheeks, not penetrating.

Fuck.

I'm a panting mess.

"Pleeeasseee!" I beg him, trashing under his weight.

"Let's see who lasts longer!" Carlisle jokes, kissing the nape of my neck. "You can cum as many times as you want."

_Can I cum more than once?_ I think idly as he pushes inside my puckered hole.

My eyes cross as I fist the pillow, shoving my face into it.

He grips my hips, straddling me, and starts a punishing rhythm.

Fuck...

He's pounding me into the mattress.

And I love it.

With every push, he reaches so deep inside me...I'm in heaven. To make it even better, one of his hands keeps slapping my ass, making sparks shoot through me. My dick rubs deliciously against the bed sheet, squished between my body and the bed.

When Carlisle changes the angle, almost sitting astride my ass, the head of his cock hits all the delicious spots deep inside me. I come so hard, I think I lose touch with reality.

And he's not stopping, merely trying a leisurely pace…which is pure torture.

"I'm not done with you, sugar. Turn around," he demands.

I roll on my back, wincing when my lower back ends up in my drying cum. But Carlisle doesn't seem to care. He hooks his elbows under my knees, bringing me on his lap, guiding his steel hard cock back inside me.

Instead of moving inside me…he moves me on him.

Fucking shit.

It feels so damn good.

I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing us closer. My back arches at the feeling of Carlisle using my body to give us pleasure. He moves me faster and faster, until I can't keep my hold on him.

That's his cue to lay me on my back, my legs around his neck, his hands on the headboard as he starts fucking me in earnest.

I'm cursing, shouting, thrashing.

My dick – once again hard – is dripping and twitching against my stomach. My muscles are so taut that I'm afraid I may pull a muscle.

"Can you come again? For me?" Carlisle whispers.

I shudder – my whole body is shaking as a powerful orgasm takes over me. I'm a panting mess once I come down from the height.

Carlisle is still inside me – not moving, his forefinger collecting my cum and tasting it.

"Mhmmm. You taste delicious, sugar. Here." He offers me his finger. I stretch my neck, poking my tongue out, unsure of tasting myself, but I'm curious.

What's the fuss about my cum? I remember Jazz saying how amazing I taste, now Carlisle.

I lick his finger then scrunch my face. I shrug. "Cum."

He laughs and leans to kiss me.

"You taste much better," I whisper against his lips.

"Is that so?"

I nod and dive my tongue into his mouth. We keep kissing until he turns me on my side, slipping behind me.

He's still hard.

I make a mental note to never underestimate him.

Carlisle raises my leg, keeping it up with his hand while thrusting into me once again.

"Fuck!" I groan.

I've never tried this position before.

It's better than anything I've ever felt before.

He presses closer to me, hugging my raised leg, pumping quickly inside me.

I groan again when I feel my dick twitching.

Seriously?

Oh, shit.

Carlisle grabs my balls and tugs on them, making me meet him thrust by thrust, writhing in his arms.

"Can you do it again, Edward?" he whispers in my ear.

I'm already hardening so I guess it won't take long if he keeps that pace up.

"Just don't stop," I whine.

"Trust me?" Carlisle murmurs, licking the shell of my ear. "I'll make you feel so good."

"Yes," I gasp as he rolls on his back, never breaking our connection. I'm on his lap, facing his legs.

One of his hands ghosts over my spine. "Make us cum, sweet boy."

I grunt and lean over to level myself on his bent knees. Then I start moving.

Holy shit!

I hear the bed squeaking, but don't care.

I hear myself panting and moaning, but don't care how loud I am.

I hear Carlisle cursing, and I love that I can make him lose control.

His hips start rising to meet my erratic thrusts until he sits up, wrapping his arms around me. We can't move much in this position, but the closeness and the way he's rubbing inside me is too much.

This time, I take him with me.

I'm too exhausted to do more than roll on my side of the bed and crash.


	18. Chapter 18

I wake up startled.

It's Sunday.

I remember promising Emmett to join him for brunch.

I need to call him and see if the invitation is still available.

With that thought in mind, I slide out of the bed, frowning at the empty spot next to me.

Carlisle is an early riser.

As I approach the kitchen, a wonderful smell fills my nostrils.

Muffins. I think.

The sight that greets me is cute and funny. Carlisle and Kenna are covered in flour and batter.

"Good morning!" I greet them, grinning.

"Daddy, you're awake!" Kenna exclaims excitedly and rushes to me. "We're making cupcakes!"

"Really? It smells amazing," I say, hugging her tightly.

I walk closer and kiss Carlisle's cheek since he doesn't turn to me. He doesn't even acknowledge me.

The fuck?

Did I do something wrong?

I let Kenna down. She takes one of the already baked cupcakes and walks away – probably to watch TV.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his shoulder. "Tell me."

He tenses, then turns his icy stare on me.

Shit.

"Were you going to tell me about that new bill?"

Holy fuck.

"Why were you snooping through my shit?" I snap, glaring.

"I was looking for clothes for Kenna. The bill fell, and I can't tell you how surprised I was to see it. Your actions from last night explain it all."

I grind my teeth together.

"It's not your business," I hiss. "It's my problem."

"Oh, enlighten me! How are you going to solve this new problem? Besides, of what I know, in a relationship, the partners talk about their problems," he adds, his eyes narrowing.

"As I said. It's _my_ problem. I don't want to drag you in to this mess. I should have never borrowed money from the bank."

"Edward." He puts his hand on my shoulder, looking me square in the eyes. "Do you understand what a relationship means? If it doesn't please you, I won't help with money, though I'd appreciate if you allowed me to help you. I just want to know what is going on…without finding out on my own."

It truly hurts me – his question.

Of course, I fucking know what a relationship means!

I've been married!

I've been there next to my sick husband until…death parted us.

Deep down, the Voice of Reason tells me that Carlisle means well, but I'm not thinking rationally right now.

"Fuck you!"

"Oh, that's so smart! You know what that means? That you realize you're wrong and you admit defeat."

I really want to punch him, but refrain.

"I'm going at Emmett's brunch. He invited me," I tell him harshly.

"Alone?" he asks, taken aback.

"No! With Kenna."

"Without me?" he insists, raising an eyebrow.

I grind my teeth some more, glaring at him. "Obviously!" Turning on my heel, I head to the living room. She's not there.

I storm up the stairs and find her on her bed with the rodent next to her.

"Let's change your clothes, baby. We're going to visit Emmett."

When she doesn't even look at me, I approach cautiously and sit next to her.

"Hey, angel. What's wrong?"

Her green eyes meet mine.

Whoa.

She's angry.

I haven't seen her this angry since…someone at the hospital said something bad about her Daddy Jay. She nearly kicked the person, but I apologized and took her away. They deserved a good kick, but I knew how judgmental people were.

"Kenna, what happened?" I try again.

"You're fighting with Daddy C. Why scream at him?"

"It's adult stuff, honey. We had a disagreement. Now, let's get ready to go to Emmett's."

"Is Daddy C coming with us?" she asks hopefully.

"Nope."

"Then I'm not coming."

_Say what?_

I frown at her.

Before I can ask anything else, I feel something soft and furry brushing my hand. I think I scream as I jump away from the bed.

Kenna dissolves in a fit of giggles while I shake my hand to get rid of the odd feeling.

Carlisle appears in the doorway, looking worried at me.

"He just wanted to say hi," Kenna announces to me.

"Let's hope he won't try it again," I mutter, glancing at Carlisle.

"The guinea pig?" he asks, amused.

I just nod and go to the dresser where Carlisle has put some of her clothes. I grab a dress and turn to Kenna.

She's no long on the bed – she's hugging Carlisle's leg, glaring at me.

Oh, no!

I can see a tantrum on the way.

"Come on, Kenna," I urge her.

"Not going without Daddy C!" Each word is punctured by a stomp of her foot. By the end of her speech, there are tears in her eyes. "Don't fight wif him! I love Daddy C!"

I can feel my heart aching.

I didn't usually fight with Jazz, but we had our own fair share of "moments" and Kenna was always affected when we fought.

Why didn't I think it could happen again?

"We're okay. Right?" I glance at Carlisle.

"Of course, Kenna. We had a disagreement."

"Then come wif us!" she whines.

"I'm a little busy. I can't," Carlisle lies.

Fuck. I hate this.

"I'll convince him to join us," I blurt out, as I take Carlisle's hand and lead him away from Kenna's room.

"Now you want me to come? I truly hope you're not doing it for her."

I swallow hard. "I'm sorry. I hate to share my problems. You're right. We're together."

"If you don't want me there—"

I cut him off with my palm over his mouth. "I want you there with us. Shit. I didn't even call Emmett," I groan, realizing how stupid I am.

"Call him, while I talk with Kenna."

I nod and kiss him. He accepts my kiss, but steps back when it gets better.

Tease.

Or maybe he's still upset.

Oh, crap!

I'll try to avoid play time for a while…until I get back in his good graces.

After a short chat with Emmett, he's still expecting us.

I go to announce to Kenna and Carlisle that we're still on. She is upset with me apparently, because she doesn't even look at me.

Great.

We get dressed and after a short argument over the guinea pig, he's coming with us. Of course, Kenna won. Carlisle is her best friend all of a sudden.

I'm allowed to drive the Merc, because I know the way there. I tried protesting that we could drive my car, but when Carlisle narrowed his eyes at me, I quickly took the keys from him and listened to him.

All the way to Emmett's place, we hold hands. I love his car. I love the feeling of his slightly calloused palm against mine. I love listening to him talking to Kenna, who's sitting rather quietly in the backseat.

When I park in front of my friend's house, Kenna shoots out of the car – probably eager to show off her pet.

"I'm really sorry for not telling you about the letter from the bank. I don't want to drag you in my mess," I mumble, staring at the steering wheel.

"Considering we're trying to work this out, to have a relationship, I think your problems are mine, too. Edward, you embraced my lifestyle so quickly, not questioning me much. Let me embrace your life, too."

I gulp thickly. He has a point.

"Okay. I just need to remind myself we're in this together."

"Good." He lifts our joined hands to his mouth and kisses the top of mine. "Let's go and see what trouble Kenna got herself in."

I laugh. "She always gets in trouble when I'm not around."

Carlisle waits for me at the hood of the car and wraps an arm around my waist. I lean against him as we walk to the front door.

I step inside without knocking. I know Rosalie is most likely busy in the kitchen, while Emmett is out in the backyard with the kids.

"There you are!" Rose exclaims, emerging from the kitchen. "Oh!" Her eyes are on Carlisle.

"Hi, Rose," I greet her, smiling. "This is Carlisle – my boyfriend," I introduce him.

I see his lips twitching up as he takes Rose's hand and kisses the top of it. "Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She grins. "It's nice to meet you, too. Feel free to join my husband in the backyard," she says, gesticulating to the door behind the stairs that leads to the back.

"Go. I'll catch up with Rose," I urge Carlisle. I know she needs details.

Once Carlisle's out the back door, I'm dragged to the kitchen. "Where do you find them?" she inquires, making me laugh.

"No! It's not funny. Seriously!" she demands.

"They kind of find me," I joke, scratching the back of my head. "I hope you didn't overdo it because we're here."

There's a lot of food on the counter.

"Nah. Emmett eats as three people and well…" She shoots me a smile. "Dave's getting a little sibling."

My eyes widen before jumping from her face to her stomach. "That's great news!" I exclaim.

"Shh! I haven't told Emmett yet."

"Haven't told me what?" Emmett asks from the doorway. "Ah, Masen! I hope you can run faster than me!" he snaps, pursing his lips.

"What?" I ask, surprised at the change of topic.

"Why did you have to buy Makenna a pet? Now, Dave wants one too!" he groans.

"Oh," I sigh in relief. "That's Carlisle's doing."

He nods, then looks at Rose. "What were you saying I don't know?"

"That I'll have Edward find me a man since he has awesome taste." She beams at him, giggling.

Emmett scowls at her before marching out of the house. I truly hope he won't pick a fight with Carlisle.

"I'm going to check on Kenna," I tell Rose and rush after Emmett.

He's next to Carlisle, grumbling about the pet. An amused Carlisle catches my eye and I shrug, smiling. It's good he's not upset, but I have a feeling the next time we go into the Playroom, I'll have to suffer the consequences.


	19. Chapter 19

I'm helping Emmett with the grill, while Carlisle is talking with Rose near the kiddie pool. Dave and Kenna are inside splashing around.

I truly hope she won't get sick. I know that pool is heated, but it's still autumn.

"Now I know why you were happy to know we're starting to work on the hospital," Emmett comments.

"I promise to focus on my job." I flip the chicken legs, shooting him a smile.

"Yeah, sure. How many breaks to do you plan on taking?"

"You realize Carlisle will most likely be busy?" I question, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not saying I won't visit him, because I bet one of us would cave and call the other."

"Hey, I'm not saying no! Heck, I'm happy for you!" Emmett claps my back. "You deserve this."

"Yeah, thanks," I mumble, my mind drifting to the new bill.

"What's wrong?" Em asks, looking over his shoulder at the others. "Tell me."

"God, you're worse than an old woman! I'm coping. It's still hard…you know." I shrug.

_Please, don't ask more._

It's already enough that Carlisle got dragged into my mess.

"Man, I offered you this job to help you at the time, but now—"

"Fuck, you're firing me nicely?" I exclaim, gripping the spatula and glaring at him.

"No, dude!" Emmett shouts back. "I was trying to tell you that now you have some help with Kenna, you can look for a decent job – something you studied for."

I scowl at him and transfer the meat to the tray. "I'll think about it."

"Don't get me wrong, Edward. I love helping you, but you're not cut out to work in construction. You have a business degree and anyone would hire you."

Of course, he's right.

Now that Carlisle is in the picture, I know Kenna has someone who can stay with her, no matter what – unlike Bella, who actually can say no. I'm still not over her refusal, but I understand that she has a life that doesn't include me or Kenna.

I can find a job that I actually went to school for. I'll keep the job because there will be no more running to the hospital.

"So…" Emmett gets my attention. "Halloween's coming."

I groan, resisting the urge to hit my head on the first hard object in sight. "Don't remind me! Actually, you'll be doing me a huge favor if you don't mention it."

"Dave probably spilled the beans already," he says chuckling.

I turn to look at the kids and pray to anyone that can hear that he didn't mention the holiday.

"Kenna goes nuts around Halloween. I'm so no ready for that," I whine.

"You're probably the only person to hate Halloween. Don't spoil it for the kid."

"Em, we walk around the neighborhood and collect tons of sweets, then get home and eat half of them. She doesn't sleep that night...and it's usually a work day that follows."

"Party pooper," he mutters.

A hand on my back makes me jump, startled.

"I got a call from the hospital," Carlisle whispers in my ear.

"Oh." I turn to look at him, disappointed. I want him to say fuck it and stay. He doesn't get to have much fun.

His eyes search mine, then close as he exhales loudly. "I'm going to call and tell them I'm busy."

I try not to let it show how happy I am. "Don't cancel it on our behalf." I have to practically drag the words out.

"It's my off day. I'm sure someone else can take over the new case. I prefer your company, sugar." He brings me closer to him, kissing my neck.

Emmett takes the food to the table while I stay next to Carlisle as he talks quietly on his phone, explaining that he can't make it. I appreciate that he decided to stay with us instead of going to work.

We spend the day having fun with my friends. Carlisle's integrated quickly. Rose seems to be interested in everything he has to say. Emmett leans into me at some point, whispering in my ear that his wife is crushing on my man. I make sure to show her he's mine from that moment on - I constantly touch him.

I haven't had so much fun in months.

I don't know why I kept declining Emmett's invitations. Actually, I know - I've been secluding myself, safe in my routine, not wanting to socialize.

Late in the afternoon, we're in the living room, drinking coffee and sharing stories about our kids. Of course, Rose has more to say considering Dave is a boy, but Kenna's not far behind. Carlisle seems captivated by my stories - he doesn't know half the things sweet, lil Kenna can do.

When we decide to leave, my angel's sleeping and I don't have the heart to wake her. After a glance at Carlisle, I realize it's better if we accept Rose's proposal to keep Kenna over the night.

We're going to be busy.

I'm dreading it.

On the way home, we talk about me starting to work on the hospital most likely next week.

After I park in the driveway, Carlisle steps out first. He doesn't walk to the front door, but to my crappy car. I quickly rush after him, to steer him away.

"So what's your usual schedule?" I continue our talk, grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the house.

"How old is this car?" he asks.

Ungh!

"I start at seven and have a break around noon," I insist.

"Edward. Is this even safe?" He looks at me concerned.

Defeated, I shift closer to him. "It's as safe as it can get."

"What year is it?"

I groan and look at my shoes. "It's from 1974, 144 California Edition, but don't worry. Volvos were always safe. The only problem is that it doesn't start on the first try…sometimes not at all."

"It still looks pretty good," Carlisle comments.

"Yeah, well…I've been trying to take care of it. It was Jasper's car – his pride and joy."

"Oh, I see. I know someone if you want it looked over."

"Thanks," I whisper. "Let's go inside."

"Eager for punishment?" he teases me, draping his arm over my shoulder, leaning closer and kissing my cheek. "We're going to start training you for the play parties. You need to be in the proper mind place and have impeccable behavior."

"Training?" I repeat, surprised.

"Indeed," he hums, steering me toward the front door.

The second we're inside with the door locked Carlisle switches to Dom mode.

"Strip," he dictates, lazily taking his jacket off.

I quickly shed my clothes and upon instinct, I kneel at his feet, looking down.

"Beautiful, sugar. You're learning fast," he says with pride in his voice. "Now, follow me to the Playroom. Oh, no, no." He pushes against my shoulder when I make to get up. "Crawl."

I swallow my retort, doing as he asked. It's a challenge to go down the stairs that lead to the basement, but I get there without breaking my neck. It also helps that Carlisle's right next to me, steadying me every time I lose balance.

He steers me to the bed when we step inside the Playroom.

"I want you on all fours, your hands gripping the top of the frame, your legs spread, and head down."

That dictating tone should creep me out, but it's arousing me more than I thought possible. I scramble to the requested position, wondering what he'll do to me.

There's clinking and thumping, but I don't turn my head.

Carlisle returns to my side, placing something at the foot of the bed before approaching me – he doesn't even look at me as he ties some ropes around my wrists and to the bed frame. It looks complicated, but it's sturdy – disabling me from moving my arms.

"Good. Is it too tight?" he checks.

I flex my arms, wriggling my fingers. "It's okay."

"If you lose circulation, tell me." With a soft stroke on my head, he slides on the bed behind me. "Wider." He pats my thighs. I comply, nearly losing balance and banging my head on the bed frame. "Steady now," Carlisle murmurs.

After caressing my legs for a few minutes, I feel something thick and wide clasping around my right ankle, then another similar thing to my left ankle.

I risk a peek behind my shoulder and can't mask my gasp.

"No!" Carlisle snaps, his palm connecting hard with my ass. "Eyes down."

"I'm sorry, Master," I mumble.

"Since you're so curious, I'll tell you what's going on. I placed a spreader bar between your ankles, cuffing it to you. Now I'm going to tie your ankles to the bed posts, and then I'll deliver your punishment."

This is scaring me just a little, but I stay quiet.

What could his punishment be? Why does he need to restrain me?

Fuck.

I shouldn't have picked that fight with him.

Once my ankles are anchored to the bed posts, Carlisle is silent, making my skin prickle. The wait is killing me.

Suddenly, a swishing sound makes me jump. Then I feel something thin that hurts like hell hitting my sole.

"Fuck!" I shout, turning to see what he hurt me with.

"Jesus Christ!" Carlisle groans. "I thought you learned to listen to my orders!" He marches to his chest of drawers and returns with a black scarf, tying it over my eyes. His hand pushes my head down until my chin hits my chest. "Stay like that!"

"Yes, Master."

I screwed up again.

All too soon, the thin object hits my sole again. I think it's a twig of sorts, but fuck, does it hurt.

"Stop whining!" Carlisle demands, angling the twig to hit my ass.

Now I know why I needed the restraints.

He returns to hitting my soles until I feel a few tears escaping my eyes. I'm contemplating using one of my safe-words when he stops.

But it's far from over.

I feel the tails of the flogger dancing over my back as he trails them down to my ass, over my legs to my toes. I lose contact with the leather, but then it's back in full force over my soles. My toes curl and I make to move, unable to escape.

"Are you going to keep secrets from me?"

"No, Master," I sob.

"Are you going to argue with me when you know you're wrong?"

"No, Master."

"Are you going to exclude me again from your plans?"

"Never, Master."

Damn, he knows how to make me hate myself. Guilt eats at my insides.

"I'm going to turn your ass red and you're going to thank me after every hit. Don't mess up," he warns me.

"Yes, Master."

Carlisle climbs on the bed, behind me. He's so close I can feel the heat of his flesh. Surprising me, he grabs my hips and pulls me into his jean clad erection.

"If you're a good boy, we'll have some fun later; if not, I'll be the only one having fun," he whispers. "Understood?"

"Yes, Master."

With that he steps away, his palm slapping against my ass until it's itchy and probably beet red. Then comes the flogger.

"Ah, ah! What have I told you?" Carlisle asks upset after one swat.

Shit.

"Thank you, Master," I say urgently, hoping I haven't upset him further.

"Hmmm."

Another swing of his hand, another blow.

Despite the pain that radiates from my ass and soles, my cock's hard and leaking. Twisted fucker.

The flogger's tails touch my balls.

"Thank you, Master," I cry out.

"Are you close, Copper?" he taunts me. "Is this turning you on? You like being spanked?"

"More. Please, Master. I'm so close."

"No. You're not allowed to come."

I bite my lip, pushing away the next wave of pleasure as the flogger touches my cock.

Maybe he likes to punish me because I know I can't hold it - I don't know how to do it.

Carlisle's hand grips the base of my cock. "I said no!"

It's minutely better - the urge to come is gone, but I know that anything can set me off.

I hear the flogger hitting the floor, and then cold liquid being dribbled over my crack. I shudder and moan. One hand runs over the heated skin of my ass, soothing it, while the other traces my hole, a finger slipping inside.

It's pure torture to have his finger inside me, sliding in and out slowly, circling the rim, scratching against it with his nail. He's making me lose my mind.

When another finger joins the first, I know I'm going to break my promise.

I have two options - to come and earn myself another round of punishment, or to say Yellow and end the scene.

"How close are you?" Carlisle questions, squeezing my left cheek, inserting another finger - he's pumping them quickly now.

"So close, Master," I whine. "Please, can I come?"

"Not yet."

"Please, please. I can't. I don't want to disappoint you, Master," I moan, I beg.

His hands disappear from my body and I almost burst in tears. I'm sooo close.

After five interminable minutes pass, I hear a bottle of lube being uncapped.

"Have you calmed enough? I'm going to take you now," Carlisle explains. "If you can hold it for another ten minutes, you get to choose where I come."

I gulp, steeling myself.

I have to do this.

I can do it.

Ten minutes.

 _Just_ six hundred seconds.

"Yes, Master," I agree.

That's all he needs to know apparently, because the next second, he's buried deep inside me. He doesn't wait for me to adjust to his girth, starting a punishing rhythm.

"Ungh!" I groan. My arms are shaking, my legs are shaking.

Carlisle leans over me, untying my wrists, pushing my chest to the mattress. "Bend your legs at the knees. I want your feet in the air. You're untied," he adds when I don't move.

Once I'm in the position, Carlisle grabs my hips, his thumbs pressing in the dimples above my ass as he starts fucking me in earnest. I'm a mess of crying, moaning, pleading. My cock is squished between my body and the bed, the friction getting me closer and closer.

"Cum, sugar."

My body tenses at his words, but I'm not quite there. I'm on the edge...I need a push.

Carlisle realizes how wired I am because he moves one leg over my left one, straddling me, changing the angle. He's nailing my gland this way and I'm flying in a matter of seconds.

"Holy fucking shit!" I yell, trashing under him.

He keeps pounding into me. "Where?" he grunts.

"My ass," I beg into the pillow. "Please, Master."

He groans and I can feel him swelling before he fills my ass.

I'm so spent I can probably fall asleep here and not wake for days.

"Beautiful," I hear him murmuring. He has left my ass and is tracing my fluttering hole with a finger. "You've pleased me greatly, Edward."

"It was my pleasure, Master," I say sleepily.

I feel him snapping the cuffs open, then taking my blindfold off. I blink a few times before I focus on him.

"Hi," he whispers with a grin.

"Hi," I respond, sporting the same grin.

"How are you feeling? Anything hurt?"

"Ask me tomorrow," I joke, rolling on to my back. "Ah"! I hiss, turning again on my stomach.

"How's your ass, sugar?" Carlisle asks concerned, looking down at me. "Let me take care of you. Was I too rough?"

"No." I shake my head. "That was...amazing," I tell him. "But can we put that twig or whatever it was to soft limits?"

He chuckles. "Anything you want. You dictate this, Edward. And the twig is to keep you in place - it was meant to hurt." He grabs some cream from the nightstand and rubs some over my ass.

"Oh, okay."

"You amaze me with the control you have over your body. You think you can't do it, but I must tell you that no other new Sub has been able to hold it for so long. Heck, even during my training, I came too quickly the first three months."

"Really?" I ask surprised. "I feel when it's close and I try to push it back. The only thing that actually helps to do this is the idea of how intense the pleasure will be when I actually have an orgasm."

"That's a good strategy. I'll let you sleep for a while, then we'll actually start preparing for the parties."

"What do I have to do?" I ask, not ready to sleep. Not if he wants to leave my side.

Carlisle lounges next to me, stroking my head. "You'll always be at my feet, crawling unless you're told otherwise. You will never make eye-contact with anyone else - Dom or Sub. You will always follow my every order. If you don't like something, or it's a soft or hard limit, you're going to give me your safe-word and explain yourself. Oh, and you're going to wear my collar."

I feel a shiver running down my spine. That will show everyone I belong to him.


	20. Chapter 20

I come around, hearing a voice I know all too well – Kenna. She sounds as if she's next to me, but as sleep disappears from my foggy brain, I realize the walkie-talkie is on.

"No, Daddy C!" she groans, sounding exasperated. "The monkey is in Lion King! In Bambi, Mr. Owl is super smart and warns them about stuff!"

"Oh, right. I confuse them all the time." Carlisle sounds so serious that it makes me burst in laughter.

"How can you confound an owl with a monkey?" Kenna asks confused. "Really, Daddy C! The owl is a bird that stays up at night. The monkey is like a human."

"Right. Thanks for explaining," he whispers.

"Yes, and monkeys like bananas. Yuckies."

"Speaking of food. Aren't you hungry?"

"Well, we're waiting for Daddy to wake up. Where is he anyway?"

"Let me check on him. Sit tight here and watch the movie," he tells her softly. "Oh, and keep Squishy on the couch. It's the third time I nearly stepped on him."

 _Please do_ , I beg him silently.

If I knew I had clothes here, I'd have sneaked up on them, but I have to wait for Carlisle.

When the door of the Playroom opens, he slips inside and locks it behind him.

"Oh, you're awake!" he gasps, looking a little disappointed.

"I could pretend to be asleep," I tease him, diving back under the blanket.

"If you were asleep, I'd have woken you up like this," Carlisle murmurs, putting a knee on the bed, behind me, bending over me. His breath is fanning over my face.

I'm expecting him to whisper something, not to press his lips to my ear and blow hot air over it.

Fuck.

We're not going to leave this room at this rate.

"I know Kenna's here. I heard you two," I mumble, rolling on my back.

My ass is tingling a little, but nothing like before.

"Yeah, I was fixing a light dinner for us when I heard a tune I haven't heard in years – my old phone's ringtone. Lucky you left your clothes in the hallway."

"Was Kenna too much for Rose and Emmett?" I laugh.

"Not really, she demanded that she wanted home."

I frown.

"Here," Carlisle explains.

"Wait!" I shout, sitting up and wincing slightly. "I'm fine," I say quickly. "You left to get her and came back home… How long have I been out?" I frown.

"A while." He's fighting against a smile.

"No shit?" I chuckle. "So you're watching Bambi?"

"How did you know?" he asks confused.

I jerk my chin to the walkie-talkie.

"That explains it." He nods. "Here, I brought your clothes here before I left to get Kenna. Never thought you'd sleep for _four_ hours!"

I try not to laugh but lose the battle, bursting in loud fits of laughter. "I guess you tired me out."

"You're okay, though?" Carlisle asks concerned.

"Good. Did I hear something about food?"

He chuckles and helps me out of the bed. After I get dressed, I make my way to the living room while Carlisle goes to heat our dinner.

"Daddy! You're sleeping too much!" Kenna complains.

"Sorry, sweetie. I heard you missed me."

"Lots." She nods furiously, crawling on my lap. I see she's holding her pet. As long as he's in her hands, I think I'm safe.

We focus on the movie, and when Carlisle returns, Bambi's dad is about to die.

"Shhhhhh!" Kenna hisses when Carlisle offers us the plates. "Oh, no!" She gasps, her breathing stopping as she watches the deer trying to escape the fire.

Like it's the first time she sees it.

"Oh, Daddy." She sniffs, turning to hug me.

"Shh, baby."

Fuck.

Why did they have to make this movie sad?

She always cries.

Carlisle shoots me a worried look, but I shake my head, wrapping my arms around Kenna, soothing her. She doesn't pick her head up from my chest until the end.

I can't really calm her and end up sleeping with her that night. I miss sleeping with her, but I miss Carlisle's warm body, the way he holds me.

In the morning, I wake up to my shoulder being shaken.

"Yeah?" I mumble, cracking an eye open.

"I'm going to work, sugar. Do you want me to drive Kenna to kindergarten then take you to the hospital, too?"

I yawn and sit up. "What time is it?"

"It's close to seven thirty."

I nod and rub my eye. "If you could wait for us, I'd appreciate it," I murmur.

"How about I wake Kenna and help her in the bathroom while you take a shower?"

"Thanks."

"Not talkative this morning?" he teases me.

"I didn't sleep well," I mumble. "Missed you." I shoot him a small smile, turning to shake Kenna awake.

She moans and nearly punches me as her hand flies about.

"Allow me," Carlisle whispers.

Close to eight in the morning, we're ready to go. Kenna's still sleepy and doesn't even look at us. She's nodding off, slumped against the door in the backseat, holding one of her now many plush toys.

"If I didn't know, I'd say she was yours," Carlisle comments.

"I'm usually a morning person, but I couldn't sleep last night. I told you. As for Kenna and being grumpy in the morning, she totally learned that from Jazz. If he didn't protest for half an hour if I woke him before eight, he wasn't himself."

He chuckles and pulls in front of the kindergarten.

"I'll be back in a minute," I promise and step out, help Kenna out, then carry her inside the building.

I'm surprised to see Emmett there dropping Dave off.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" he greets me.

I roll my eyes, letting Kenna down. "I'm on my way. Chill." I crouch to my baby girl and stroke her hair. "If I don't make it—"

"Bella will come and get me," she adds, scowling.

"Good. I'll try to get you, but I'm not making any promises. It's my first day on the new site."

She nods and walks to the other kids. I talk a little with her teacher before leaving with Emmett.

Once outside, Emmett sees Carlisle's car and tells me that he expects me in fifteen minutes at the meeting.

"Of course!" I tell him, quite annoyed. As if I'd run off with Carlisle!

I storm to the car and close the door a little too harshly than I meant, but I'm angry.

"Let's go," I mutter.

"What happened?" Carlisle asks, frowning, his eyes on Emmett.

"I don't know what he thinks that will happen now that I'm working so close to you… He wanted to make sure I'll attend the meeting."

"I'm not making any promises. Seeing you like this..." He gestures to my work clothes. "God, you're so desirable!"

I scowl, rolling my eyes. I think he's joking, until he grabs my hand and presses the heel of my palm against the bulge in his scrubs.

Huh.

"You're just as desirable in your scrubs," I tell him softly. "And I'm looking forward to the lunch break."

Carlisle smiles and starts the car. "Me too, sugar. Let's hope I won't be on call then."

When we arrive at the hospital, I say goodbye to Carlisle with a long kiss. He doesn't seem to mind that people see us. I don't care either.

Emmett is right in front of the reception desk, directing our team to a room where we're going to talk and keep our private things. I should probably start coming with street clothes and change here. I didn't care much before, but now I bet Carlisle won't like to introduce me to his colleagues while I'm dressed like this.

Just as I make a mental note to start coming to work in casual clothes, Carlisle jerks me to the right and I'm face to face with the nurse that helped him with Kenna and us with the tests.

Esme, I think her name is. I can't talk much because I can feel Emmett's eyes boring holes in the back of my head. With one last kiss to Carlisle and wave to Esme, I jog to my boss's side - he's no longer my friend when we're at work.

The meeting drags and we settle everyone's duties right before noon. Before I can go in search of my boyfriend, Emmett stops me.

"I like seeing you happy. Carlisle is good for you," he says, patting my shoulder.

I raise my eyebrow, expecting the "but" I feel coming, though it never comes. Emmett's genuinely happy for us.

"Thanks, man!" I clap his back. "Can I go to him while I still have some time on my lunch? I wouldn't want my time with Carlisle to interfere with my work," I add under my breath.

Emmett lets out a loud laugh and opens the door, shooing me out.

I have no idea where to start looking, but decide to check the nurses' desk. Esme should know, right? As I approach the desk, I see her talking with another nurse.

"Uh, hi," I utter, leaning my elbow against the desk.

"Hi!" She smiles at me. "I'm afraid Dr. Cullen got called on an emergency half an hour ago."

"Oh, thanks," I mumble. I was really looking forward to this break.

Oh well.

As I turn to go, Esme rounds the desk and joins me. She beams at me. "Can I talk to you?"

I shrug one shoulder. "Sure."

"Good. Cafeteria?" she asks. I nod. "Lucy, I'm taking my break!" She says over her shoulder, leading me to the elevator.

On the short ride downstairs, I watch her from the corner of my eye. Esme doesn't seem to be older than me, but whatever her age, she still has a childlike look on her face. She catches my eye and giggles.

"I hope you don't mind me asking you here, but I'm really curious about the person that melted Dr. Cullen's frozen heart. I must say I never saw him with anyone, though it was known among the staff he preferred men," she says that in one breath. "I've got to tell you, that meant many broken hearts." She sighs wistfully.

I bet she's one of them. "I don't mind," I tell her, allowing her to step out first when the doors open. "And what do you mean you never saw him with anyone?"

Sure, he didn't bring the booty calls here, but Felix? Not even him?

"No one. Oh, I'm afraid I didn't catch your name," she whispers shyly.

"It's Edward."

We buy a sandwich each and take a seat at a table. Esme talks nonstop, telling me about how she met Dr. Cullen and how he changed lately. She asks me a thousand questions, but in turn, I learn a little about her too. She's my age, though she insists she's stuck in her teenage years. I don't doubt that. She's so easy-going and honest, it's impossible not to like her.

When lunch break is over, she promises to tell Dr. Cullen that I was looking for him. I try to tell her that it's not necessary, but she waves me off and goes back to her desk.

I head outside and start working on the renovation and restoration of the hospital. Once I start working, times flies by and only when Emmett calls it a day, I realize it's sunset.

Considering Carlisle brought me here, I take my phone and call him, hoping he's not busy.

"Hey, Edward!" he greets me.

"Hi," I answer. "Are you still at the hospital?"

"In my office, doing paperwork."

"Where's your office?" I ask, making my way inside the building.

He gives me easy instructions and ten minutes later, I'm in his office. He's bent over a mountain of papers, scribbling quickly.

"Hi!" I say cheerfully and go to his side, leaning down and kissing his cheek.

"Hello," he whispers, returning my kiss, distracted. "I'm really sorry, sugar. I need to finish this."

"I'll wait for you. I'm just going to call Bella to ask about Kenna," I say, gesturing to the door.

He only nods, so I step outside, dialing Bella's number. I called her earlier to make sure she picked up my baby from kindergarten.

"Edward!" she answers sounding tired. "I'm so glad you called. Are you coming after her?"

"Hi, Bella. As soon as Carlisle is done, we're getting Kenna. What's wrong?"

"I can't pacify her with anything. I have no idea what happened at kindergarten, but she's been pouting ever since I picked her up. When I called her on it, she huffed and turned her back to me. Though, an hour ago she asked me about pictures of you and Jasper. I'm sure she has some kind of project."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "Awesome," I mutter. "Can you put her on the phone, please?"

"Sure, hun."

A few moments later, Kenna is on the phone with me. "Daddy?" she whispers meekly.

"Yes, baby. Tell me what's wrong."

"The teacher told us to put a few photos of family on a paper and talk about it tomorrow." She sounds so fucking sad.

"We have some pictures. I'll help you do this when I get you from Bella's. Daddy C is a little busy and I have to wait for him, okay?"

"Okay." She's quiet, and I'm wondering if she's searching for Bella to pass her the phone. "Daddy?" Kenna murmurs a few minutes later.

"Yes, sweetie?" I ask just as Carlisle leaves his office.

"Can we put a photo of Daddy C, too? Do you think he'll be upset?"

I stare into Carlisle's eyes shocked. I can't talk.

I'm sure he won't mind, but the gesture means so much. It's amazing the way her little brain works sometimes.

"We're coming to get you now, and we'll talk about it when we get to his place."

"Okay. Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, angel."

On the way to Bella's, I fill him in with Kenna's project. He looks reluctant, even tries to say that the teacher wants family there, but I tell him that Kenna wants him there. He visibly melts and a huge smile spreads on his face. Then he nods.

Kenna doesn't say much when we pick her up, but when we arrive at Carlisle's house, she wants in my arms, so I take her and kiss her head.

"Did you ask him, Daddy?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "Why don't you ask him, sweetie? I'm sure he'll say yes."

"You think?"

"I know." I kiss her nose before putting her down.

She goes to Carlisle, who's taking his coat off. She's so fucking adorable, looking up at him, waiting for him to finish his task.

"Daddy C?" she mumbles when he doesn't turn fast enough – he's still busy searching for something in one of his pockets.

"Yes, Kenna?" He turns to her, smiling.

"Can I have a photo of you for my project?"

"Hey, hey. Didn't you forget to add something?" I remind her loudly.

Her little shoulders tense. "Please?" she mumbles.

"Of course, honey."


	21. Chapter 21

As Carlisle's birthday approaches, I start thinking of all kinds of possibilities.

I'm not worried about his present - already bought him something.

I'm worried about the party we're going to attend.

I'm scared.

On the twenty-sixth, I leave early work and pick Kenna up from kindergarten. Then we prepare a nice dinner for Daddy C. While she sets the table, I put the last touches on our roast beef.

When the front door opens, Kenna zooms like a bullet to the hallway, squealing loudly. She didn't see Carlisle today, considering he worked the night shift and then had paperwork. I barely saw him, but I allow her to stay with him. He'll be mine the whole weekend - or more accurately, I'll be his.

Emmett has agreed to keep Kenna at his house. She didn't put up a fight, understanding that we need some time alone.

"Easy there, Little Bit," I hear Carlisle chiding her, but he's amused.

"Missed you!" Kenna tells him loudly.

He must have answered, but too softly for me to hear. Whatever he said sends my baby in a giggling fit, and then she appears next to me.

Jesus, it's hard to keep up with her speed.

"Daddy, do you fink Daddy C is old?"

I frown at her, then turn to see him leaning against the wall, grinning. "Well, I don't know," I say teasingly. "I think I see gray hair."

"You're old. I told you!" Kenna beams at Carlisle.

Her serious confession causes us to laugh hysterically. She can be adorable sometimes.

"Mhmm..." Carlisle approaches the stove. "Smells wonderful."

"It's a surprise," I explain. "Go and freshen up, then come to dinner." I grab his hand, leaning into him and kissing him slowly.

Ah, I've missed him.

"Another present?" Carlisle laughs. "I thought I got my present earlier at my office."

I bite my lip, glancing at Kenna who is watching us curiously. "This is the PG rated one," I tell him, chuckling.

"I see." He nods seriously, but he's fighting a smile. "I'll be right back." He turns to leave, but not before pinching Kenna's cheek.

After I dropped my baby at kindergarten this morning, I went straight to Carlisle's office. He was all wet and fresh smelling, and I couldn't keep my hands and lips to myself. He had just finished a long surgery and taken a shower.

I pushed him onto his comfy chair, before kneeling between his legs and taking his dick out of his scrubs. He didn't have time to realize what was happening. All he could do was grab my hair and moan...that was until someone came into his office. Luckily, I was shielded from their view by the sturdy desk. Carlisle tried to get rid of his visitor, and he did leave…but only after ten torturous minutes.

My heart was in my throat the whole time - especially when the visitor approached the desk to give Carlisle some files.

All that time, I kept licking, kissing, running the tips of my fingers over his erection. He was shifting and gasping, making his fellow doctor wonder if he was coming down with something. I bit my tongue to keep from saying that he was indeed coming. Soon.

Once we were alone once again, Carlisle grabbed my arm, and turned me around so my chest was pressed to his desk. He made quick work of my pants, and after putting some hand cream on my ass, he took me hard and deep. When we came undone and calmed our hearts, Carlisle grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me deeply.

"What brought this on? Not that I mind," he said amused.

"Happy birthday." I beamed at him, kissing his cheek.

"I wish my birthday was every day," he mumbled, helping me buckle my jeans, just as the door opened once again.

That time it was Esme, who was a smart woman. During our little romp, files and pens had fallen off Carlisle's desk. She just smiled and bent to grab them before telling Carlisle someone was looking for him.

I told him goodbye, and with a wave to Esme, I went to my job. I didn't have time to visit him over the rest of the day, but I hope that once we drop Kenna off to Emmett's tonight, we will be able to have an encore performance.

Kenna is extra talkative during dinner. She questions Carlisle about everything he eats - when she hears the positive answers, she turns to me and grins.

"I told you he'd like this," I tell her. "Can you calm down for two minutes and eat?"

"But I ate!" she protests.

"What?" I raise my eyebrow. "Two bites of meat and three pieces of potato?"

"It's too much," she whines.

"Kenna, eat. At least finish that meat," I beg her. I give her the smallest piece and she won't even eat that.

"No, Daddy!"

"Don't you want to grow up? You'll stay little forever if you don't eat all your food," Carlisle tells her.

Yeah, right.

Like she'd buy that.

"That's not true!" Kenna tells him, pouting.

He winks at me, then grabs her fork and stabs a piece of potato before bringing it to her mouth. She turns her head away.

"Now, I'll be upset if you don't take this. I won't play with you."

Her eyes widen and I can almost hear her wheels turning. Tentatively, she opens her mouth and takes the food from Carlisle.

"There. Was that so hard?" he asks.

She swallows and sniffs. Great, she's going to start crying. "I don't want you upset," she mumbles.

"Now, take another bite for Daddy." Carlisle stabs some meat this time. "Here. Look at him. He's just as upset as I am."

I pretend to pout just as her green eyes cut to me.

She takes the other bite, too.

Huh. If it'd known bribery would make her eat, I'd have tried it long ago.

Carlisle keeps this up until Kenna's plate is empty. Thankfully, he ate too in between feeding her.

Once we're done with the main course, I bring the cake. Of course, Kenna's more excited than Carlisle.

I light the candles on the cake and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Happy birthday, Carl."

He covers my hand with his. "Thank you, sugar. I haven't celebrated my birthday in ages."

"Don't forget to make a wish!" Kenna reminds him, sitting on the edge of her chair.

Carlisle squeezes my hand and closes his eyes, probably making his wish.

"Blow quickly," Kenna instructs him as he sighs. She thought that was his blow; I almost laugh.

He chuckles and strokes her hair. "Why don't you blow them out for me?"

"Really?" she squeals. "Can I, Daddy? Pleeease?"

As least she thought of asking my permission.

"Sure, sweetie."

We watch amused as she takes a huge gulp of air then blows loudly over the two candles. She claps and looks proudly at Carlisle.

"Happy bifday, Daddy C!" She's out of her chair and climbing on his lap, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you, honey. It's the best birthday I've ever had." He hugs her tightly, kissing her head.

I wrap my arms around them, kissing his temple. It's the first time since Jazz died that I feel like Kenna has a family…that I have a place where I belong. Also, my heart is trying to say something that I'm definitely not ready for - not so soon.

After we eat cake, I take Kenna's bag to the car while she says goodbye to Daddy C. I'm going to drop her off, before returning to Carlisle to start our weekend. My fear is still there, but I'm also excited to actually be part of his world.

Kenna's almost asleep when we arrive at Emmett's place. She clings to me as I carry her inside. After thanking them again and promising my baby to call at least once, I leave.

Carlisle is waiting in his bedroom, dressed in his pajamas.

I'm disappointed, but I try to not let it show as I step into the room and approach him, falling on the bed. As I lie there next to him, I feel my muscles aching from a long week of working.

"Are you okay?" he asks, ghosting his hand over my back.

"Kinda. I think I need a painkiller, but I'm not moving from here until tomorrow," I say into the pillow.

"You have to change your clothes. Actually, while you do that, I'll bring you a pill. Is Tylenol okay?"

"Perfect." I roll out of the bed and tiredly change my clothes. I'm actually grateful we're not doing anything. I have to be fresh tomorrow.

When Carlisle returns, I'm pulling on my pajama bottoms. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.

"Oh, don't bother with them - not yet." He walks to me, pushing my pants down. "I want to prepare you for tomorrow."

"Okay." I take the Tylenol, kneeling in front of the bed as he instructs me; chest on the mattress, ass in the air. "Can you prepare me for what's going to happen at those parties?"

"Hmm." Carlisle strokes my ass, dribbling some lube over my crack. "I'll meet with my friends and talk, before heading upstairs where the playrooms are. First, we'll watch and if I ask you anything, I want your honest opinion. Then we'll go to an empty room and do whatever you want. If you don't behave like I expect you to, I'll choose what we do."

I nod, too relaxed to actually talk. He's not only loosening my ass muscles, he's loosening all my muscles.

"If I tell you to do something and you aren't sure about doing said something, or it scares you, or you refuse to do it for whatever reason, you give me one of your safewords and we'll discuss it at home."

I nod again. His fingers leave my body as something cold and round is pushed inside me.

"Relax, sugar. I plan on having you more than once tomorrow. For that, I need you as loose and relaxed as possible," he says soothingly, pushing the toy inside me.

Once the plug is seated inside me, Carlisle tugs my bottoms over my ass and tells me to scoot up the bed. Once I'm under the blanket, he's next to me, his arms wrapped around my torso.

"Sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow."

With one last kiss, we drift off to sleep.

In the morning, I'm surprised to see Carlisle sleeping soundly next to me. His hands are under his cheek and he looks so adorable and sweet. I caress his cheek with the back of my forefinger, watching his eyes fluttering open.

I wish I could wake him every day.

His deep blue eyes open, and a small smile appears on his lips. "Morning, Edward," he whispers roughly, catching my hand and kissing my palm.

"Morning," I reply. "I like waking up with you here, for a change."

"Yes, it's a nice change. I usually wake up seeing you sleeping and I literally have to drag myself out of the bed."

I smile and lean closer, pressing my lips to his. "Wake me up when you get up. I like this," I whisper against his lips.

"Unless I'm called to work at some ungodly hour, you bet I'm going to wake you. I'll have some Edward breakfast, then start my day."

"Sounds good," I agree, deepening the kiss.

We laze around the whole day, and Carlisle tells me a little more about the previous parties. He has never taken a Sub before, which brings us to a new topic.

He wants me to wear a collar.

I'm not so sure.

We end up in the playroom, looking through one of his drawers. Carlisle takes out five collars - they're not at all what I expected. They're normal leather bands that go around the neck, but with different "charms" attached to them.

I choose a simple one with a few holes where he tells me the leash goes.

I'm determined to fight the rational part of my brain.

I want this to work.

I want to make him proud.

When the time to leave approaches, we shower and get dressed - he gets dressed, because all I'm wearing is the collar and a cockring, along with a robe for the ride. Carlisle is wearing a pair of leather pants that look painted on him, showing the outline of his dick. I can't take my eyes off it. On top, he's wearing a thin white t-shirt, which shows his perfect abdomen.

We walk to the car, and once inside, he turns the heat on full blast so I won't freeze. That's the only thing that shows he actually remembers my existence. He kind of stopped talking to me after he collared me.

 _It's part of this lifestyle_ , I tell myself.

When we arrive, I watch shocked as people are parading in the yard in various states of nakedness, not caring who sees them.

"Off with the robe!" Carlisle orders me.

I glance at him, biting my lip as I do as I'm told.

"Spread your legs and don't move an inch."

Again, I comply. He inserts a small something inside me before tying the end of that to my cockring.

"Now, come on my side and open my door," he adds, smirking.

I step out of the car, feeling extremely vulnerable, and rush to his side. Just as I grab the handle, whatever he slid inside me starts vibrating, making me freeze. The longer I stay there, the more intense the vibrations are. My cock is hardening.

Gulping thickly, I open the door and Carlisle slides out.

"About time, boy. For your delay, we're doing this my way. I was hoping you'd behave on your first party. I'm disappointed. Kneel."

I quickly obey, thankful there's asphalt, not gravel in the driveway.

Carlisle secures the leash on my collar and turns to face the impressive house. With a tug of the leash, I drop my head and follow him, crawling on my knees.

Being a doctor, I'm sure he knows when to stop. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt myself.

The stairs are a little tricky, but I manage. Once inside, Carlisle steers me to a group of people.

I can only see their shoes and two other Subs, kneeling at their feet. I stop as soon as Carlisle stops. He starts talking with them, but I don't pay attention. Absently, he strokes my hair.

Unsure if I'm allowed, I glance at the other Subs. There's a girl, and I'm not sure if she's legal - she looks so young and small, and a boy, but I can't see him well - he stays mostly behind his master, cowered in his legs.

The girl gives me a small smile. My eyes widen and the corner of my mouth lifts up when she winks.

A jerk on my collar sends me hyperventilating.

Did he see my exchange with the girl?

Shit.

"Meet Master James," Carlisle tells me authoritatively, pushing me forward.

I know what I have to do. He taught me, and explained this was the customary greeting. I lean closer to Master James and kiss the top of his bare feet.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Master James," I say, as I've been taught.

Carlisle strokes my hair once I'm next to him again. "Now, greet his Sub, boy."

I'm contemplating to say Yellow. I never kissed a girl; but a peck, I'm sure I can do it.

I'm mindful not to touch her as I press my lips to her slim ones. She kisses me back; her black eyes are open and staring into mine. Once we're jerked away, we separate. She gives me another shy smile.

Then we head upstairs – Carlisle and I.


	22. Chapter 22

Upstairs is nothing like I expected.

There's a long corridor with doors on both sides, but some people are standing in the doorways watching inside, others are simply receiving or giving right there, against the wall. It looks like a hedonic place.

Carlisle tugs me after him, glancing in the rooms we pass until he finds something he likes because we stop. There aren't many in front of this door.

"Look inside, boy," he instructs me.

I'm not sure if I can watch what's going on in there. I hope he doesn't plan something like that with me. Ever.

There's a Sub bonded with some ropes, bent while one Dom is taking him from behind and another one is shoving his rod down his throat. There's also a Sub sucking him off.

To be used like that…

Carlisle must realize I'm not into the scene in front of us because he tilts my head.

"Not enjoying it, boy?"

I shake my head, not meeting his eyes.

"Let's find something else. Maybe an empty room?" he suggests.

I nod eagerly.

He pets my head, and we take the stairs to an upper floor.

Here are only a few rooms, but only two of them are occupied. It's much more secluded.

We find an empty room and step inside. I'm extra aware Carlisle doesn't shut the door, but I'm not allowed to voice my thoughts.

"Take position near the cross," he commands.

I see him pushing some buttons, and then a metal gate closes in the doorway. People can see inside, but they can't come in. That relaxes me immensely.

"Up," Carlisle says shortly, advancing to me.

I quickly stand and regret it immediately when I get dizzy, but I don't have time to sway, because I'm pushed back. My back meets the middle of the cross. Carlisle raises my hands and cuffs them into place them works on my ankles.

I gulp and stare at his blond hair as he works on cuffing me.

"What color?" he whispers as he rises. His eyes cut to the doorway them back at me.

I realize we have an audience. Shit.

But there's a thrill in being seen, in people seeing me submit to him.

"Green, Master."

He smiles and strokes my cheek.

"We're going to play with temperature today. It's your soft limit. If at any point during our scene you think it's too much, please tell me."

I nod, feeling my heart constricting.

I knew there would be a time he was going to test my soft limits…but I never thought it would be so soon.

While Carlisle turns to search for the appropriate toys ––or whatever he's going to use on me––he turns the vibrator on. I bite my lip to keep from moaning.

He's taking ages on purpose, increasing the vibrations until I start whining.

"Tsk, tsk, Copper." Carlisle shakes his head and returns to my side.

He sets several items on a table nearby. I can see a blindfold, a gag ball, a candle and a pouch. I think.

He gives me a bell I have to move if I want the scene to end. It's my fault I'm going to be gagged. The blindfold covers my eyes, then the gag ball is secured behind my head.

"If you're a good boy, I may take the ball and blindfold off," he murmurs, stopping the vibrator.

He takes it out, leaving only the cockring. I feel something furry touching my skin – it feels like a dust feather. Instead of tickling me, it arouses me.

Carlisle runs this feather, or whatever it is, over every inch of my body until I'm quivering, ready to bust a nut. Because he knows my body so well, he stops and I hear the toy hitting the table.

He's quiet for some time until I smell a burn scent – he has lit the candle.

Having lost my vision, when the first drop of wax hits my skin it is more of a surprise than pain. But as the warm liquid coagulates on my skin, I start feeling the burn. It's right on my stomach.

Carlisle keeps dripping wax over my chest and my thighs. I know what's coming next. I still gasp when I feel the first drop on my dick.

"Color?" he murmurs.

I gulp. I can't answer, and he realizes it too, because I hear a faint chuckle.

"Because you've been a good boy, I'm going to take the gag-ball off, but I'm leaving your blindfold."

I nod.

Once I'm gag-ball free, I flex my jaw and swallow a couple of times. He asks my color again, while rummaging through something…I think.

"Green, Master."

"Very good. Drink."

I feel the mouth of a bottle at my lips and I sip slowly. When he thinks I've had enough, he takes the bottle away, along with the bell. I can talk now.

I don't hear him returning, so I jump, startled when I feel hands tying something around the base of my dick. My balls go inside something – the pouch.

But fuck.

It's cold!

He has ice there.

"Sugar…" Carlisle says warningly.

Shit.

I must have made some noise.

The cockring doesn't really allow my dick to deflate, but my poor balls are shivering. Then Carlisle is back with his candle.

Now I'm aware of the noises I'm making.

It's too much.

And when I feel the furry thing running over my nipples, I gasp loudly, letting out a curse word.

"Ah, sugar. Tsk, tsk. You were doing so well."

I feel my heart pummeling to my stomach.

"But not now. You will get your punishment later," he whispers for me.

He continues with this temperature play until I'm close to shouting a safe word. Before I can have a chance to ruin everything, he stops and unties my ankles. I feel his skilled fingers at my hole, then he lifts my hips and slams deep inside me.

Fuck.

I fist my hands, arching my back as he starts pounding inside me.

I'm aware of other gasps of pleasure coming from the doorway's direction, but I don't care.

Carlisle wraps my legs around his waist, his hands intertwining with mine and our hips just rubbing against each other. It suddenly feels like the raw fuck turned into something else.

I feel his lips at my neck.

He's whimpering as he moves slowly inside me.

"Sugar, I can't do this anymore," he murmurs, and spills inside me.

_What?_

I want the blindfold off.

I want to see his eyes.

Even though I'm panicking inside, my cock erupts when I feel his warm cum inside me.

We don't say a word as he unties me and leads me to an attached bathroom.

"Have you ever had an enema?" Carlisle asks softly.

"Uh…no," I mumble.

"Do you know what it entails?"

"Yeah, it's for cleaning purposes," I say mechanically.

I know we'll talk about this at home, but I can't.

_I can't._

Can't think.

Can't feel.

Can't move.

Just can't.

What does it mean that he can't do this anymore?

He doesn't want me.

I'm not a good Sub.

I bend over the tub as he instructs me, and wince as the small tube is inserted in my ass.

"You'll feel warm liquid filling you. Tell me if it hurts."

I nod.

The sensation is like no other, but I can't even enjoy this new experience. I know he's doing it for me…to clean me…of his traces.

I squeeze my eyes.

I've done something wrong.

Carlisle's hand comes to rest on my stomach. It's slightly bigger and really warm.

"Keep the liquid in, Edward." He takes the tube out of me.

After five minutes, I'm instructed to let it out in the toilet as he steps out.

I also wash my face while I'm in the bathroom, and give myself a peep talk that whatever happens, I have to get over it.

When I exit the bathroom, Carlisle is there with my robe.

We don't talk until we get home.

"What happened there?" I blurt out the second we're in his house.

He looks down, not meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry, Edward. I can't do this. There are complications that I haven't thought of…" He shakes his head. "Let's talk more tomorrow. After a good night's sleep."

"Carlisle… Am I doing something wrong? Don't you want…this…me?" I hear my voice breaking.

"Tomorrow," he insists, taking my hand and leading me to his bedroom.

He's asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

I can't sleep.

After hours of tossing and turning, I pack my clothes and Kenna's, then scribble a note for him.

_Carlisle,_

_I understand. I'm not cut out to be a Sub. I'm sorry to have wasted your time and become a complication._

_Goodbye._

_Edward._

_PS: Please, don't look for us. It's enough you broke Kenna's heart…mine's not important._

I wipe my tears as I make my way out of his house.

My car cooperates and I make it home quickly. I fall on the bed and let the tears fall.

I've been a fool to let him take over my heart.

I can't even think of how Kenna will react. My poor little angel.


	23. Chapter 23

I don't sleep at all.

I sit on our small bed, hugging my knees with my head buried between them, sobbing my heart out.

I was sure Carlisle was the person I've been searching for…not knowing I was even looking for someone in the first place. But I was wrong.

Looking back, he fooled me with his nice behavior, with getting close to Kenna, with trying to have a relationship with me.

I should have known people like him can't sway. I understand his choice and I'm not questioning him – I even accepted it. I learned so much about myself when we were in the playroom…

I take a shuddering breath and sniff.

I need to get a grip, because soon I have to pick Kenna up from Emmett's and tell her something. What can I tell the poor kid?

My thoughts are jumbled, but of one thing I'm absolutely sure – I'm going to make Emmett happy by quitting my job.

I can't be around Carlisle.

Fuck, even thinking of him feels like a knife is being twisted in my heart.

Determined to do something for us, to have a better life and for Kenna to have whatever she wants, I brush away my tears. After a shower and some clean, nice clothes on me, I'm out of the house.

I stop at the first Internet café place and pay for half an hour – I don't need that much, but still. I pull up a Word document and write my resume, then ask for someone to help me print it.

Because I still have fifteen minutes of my time, I also look for jobs, and find a few that go perfectly with my studies.

I leave this place feeling better than I have in years.

I can do this alone.

I have to do it.

Rosalie answers the door somewhat surprised. It's early, I know, but I want my baby.

"Edward! Jesus, why are you here at the crack of down?" she moans.

"Hi. I'll get Kenna then go. Oh, is Emmett awake?"

"Yeah, I think. He wasn't in bed."

"Sorry for waking you up," I mumble.

Emmett is awake and playing with Kenna and Dave in the living room.

"Morning, Emmett!" I greet him, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Morning. She's a handful. I never thought little Kenna could be naughtier than Dave."

I chuckle and open my arms for my baby to crawl there. "She's sneaky like that." I kiss her head.

"Is Daddy C here too?" she asks eagerly, bouncing on my lap.

 _Great_.

"No, sweetie," I whisper sadly.

She doesn't get it, but Emmett catches the undertone and raises an eyebrow.

I can't be strong and play it cool.

I thought I could do it.

"Why don't you two go and see if Rose needs help in the kitchen?" Emmett wonders. The kids rush out of the room instantly.

The sob stuck in my throat erupts, probably scaring Emmett. But worse, it stops Kenna in her tracks.

"Daddy?" she asks, worried, coming back to me.

"Man, what happened?" Emmett asks, trying to make Kenna go to the kitchen. She has none of it, crawling back in my lap and hugging me. "Edward?" Emmett insists.

"We broke up," I breathe out, squeezing Kenna to my chest. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"Daddy C left us?" she murmurs.

"Kind of. It's my fault, sweetie. We couldn't work it out." I stroke her hair. "We should have never involved you. My fault."

And it is – all of this is my fault.

I moved too fast.

Carlisle managed to put me under his spell and make me lose my head.

Fuck, I've been such an idiot!

Why did I allow this to happen?

"Where can I find the fucker?" Emmett thunders. "Wait. He works at the hospital. I'm so going to give him a piece of my mind tomorrow!"

"No, please. Don't," I beg him. I brush my tears away and turn to look him in the eye. "Em, your wish is coming true."

"What's that?" he grumbles, looking distracted. He's probably still thinking of hurting Carlisle.

I can't even conceive that.

"I quit," I say loudly, squaring my shoulders.

"Are you joking? You quit just because you broke up with him and can't work in the same place?"

Well, that's not the reaction I wanted. "No, dude!" I shout. "I quit because I'm going to find a better job – something to help us make it through this life." I press a kiss to Kenna's head.

She's awfully quiet.

"Oh!" Emmett shouts surprised. "Well done!" He clasps my back. "Need any help? You know Rosie is friends with someone that needs help? Or you still want a bank…"

"Anything."

I'll pay my debt in no time, then reestablish our lives.

While Em watches the kids a while longer, I talk to Rose and have an address and a phone number. Riley Biers.

I still have Carlisle's phone.

If this last connection to him can help me pull out of my mess, I'm going to use it and say a prayer for Carlisle.

Rose encourages me to go to her friend today. He usually works from home. This Riley needs help with the filling, accountancy and other paperwork. I'm in.

After breakfast at their insistence, I take Kenna to the car, before driving to Riley's. Rose called him and he's expecting me.

"Did I do something wrong, Daddy? Why did Daddy C leave us?" she whispers from behind me. "I promise to be good. Can we go apologize?"

I grip the steering wheel tighter and sigh loudly. "I'm sorry, honey. Daddy couldn't work this out. Daddy C wasn't happy with me, but I promise you that he loved you."

"He loved you too, Daddy," she says serenely.

I feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

If he loved me, he wouldn't have broken my heart.

"Just you, love," I tell her, parking in front of the small house.

"Daddy," Kenna says loudly. "I know what I'm saying! Daddy C told me that he loves you and that we'll be a family. He wants us in his life!"

"When did he tell you that?" I ask shocked, stepping out of the car and opening the backseat door. "Kenna?" I prompt her, bending inside the car to unstrap her belt.

"Before we went to Uncle Emmett's party."

The barbeque.

The fight.

The amazing time in the playroom.

"Last week?"

"Yes. You were fighting, but he told me that he loves you and that he's not letting you go."

"Kenna…"

He might have just said that. Because if he really loved me, he wouldn't have done this. No.

He just tried to pacify her by lying.

Stupid old man!

He has no idea how kids are!

"Kenna, sweetie, he didn't want me. He told me that last night." _Not in so many words, but yeah…_

She pouts and allows me to help her out. We walk hand in hand to the door where I ring the bell and wait.

The door opens and I feel my mouth unhinge – virtually – because I have enough spirit to keep it closed and try not to stare.

When Rose told me Riley's been working for a long time, I pictured a forty plus year old man, not someone around my age.

He's around my height with sandy brown hair and a pair of sunglasses on his nose. _To each their own._ I shrug. Everyone wears odd stuff in their houses.

"Uh, hello?" Riley asks uncertainly.

"Sorry. Hello," I greet him, clearing my throat. "I'm Edward Masen and this is Kenna, my daughter. I hope it's not a problem," I babble.

Jeez. What's wrong with me?

He smiles a little.

But there's something off.

He's not even looking at me or Kenna.

When he extends a hand, waving it a little – it clicks.

Why the fuck didn't Rose tell me her friend is blind? I wouldn't have thought less.

I grasp his hand and shake it tightly. "It's nice meeting you."

Riley must have realized I understood what is going on, because he turns a little to his right and tilts his head down. I place Kenna's hand in his.

"Nice meeting you, young lady," he says softly.

"Hello," she whispers confused.

"Let's take this inside, if you still want to help."

I nod, then remember he can't see. "Sure. Lead the way."

I pick Kenna up and follow him inside.

"What's wrong with him?" she asks in my ear.

"He can't see, sweetie."

"You don't have to take your shoes off," Riley tells me as he rounds a corner to the living room.

I still do it because it's polite.

"Like Bobo?" Kenna asks curiously. When I frown at her, she reminds me of Bobo. "Bobo, the puppy Daddy Jay brought home."

Oh. Right.

How could I forget?

The poor pup was so small and sick that he didn't make it, but the week he stayed with us, Kenna always coddled him. I had completely forgotten about the pup.

"Yeah, kinda like Bobo."

We sit on the couch while Riley takes an armchair.

"Did Rosalie tell you what the job entails?"

"Uh, not much," I say honestly.

"Well, I'll explain. I write articles for different magazines, and even tried my hand at children stories. Most of the time, I just email them, but some want hard copies. And there's the taxes and everything."

"I see." It sounds like labor work – not what I'm looking for.

"My last employee had to move to another city when her husband got a better job. She's been all I knew my whole life. If you accept this, I must tell you that it takes time for me to accommodate around a new person."

"It's normal. No one accepts people just like that." I snap my fingers. "What exactly do I have to do?"

"First, I'll need help organizing everything. Then I'll need help to make deals with magazines or writing houses, help with everything that involves paperwork, and if it isn't too much trouble…with me," he finishes in a whisper. "Tory used to come three times a week and help me with what I couldn't do for obvious reasons."

"You want me to clean?" I ask shocked.

He laughs and shakes his head. "For cleaning the house and cooking, I have someone. I'm talking about my Wednesday evening bookstore visit, my Saturday walk in the park, my personal shopping. I need someone and I'm allergic to dogs."

We both laugh at that one.

"Yes, so a service dog is out of question." After a moment, he groans. "I'm sorry. I think I just insulted you."

"Actually, it was quite funny," I tell him amused. "I'll help."

It's definitely not what I want to do, but it's not construction working.

"Really? Thank you so much! I've been on my own for two weeks now. I feel like I'm going crazy."

"Do you need help now?"

"Not exactly. Can I have your phone number? I'll call you if I need anything, and if you can't make it, feel free to tell me. I understand that. Tory said no a few times because of her husband, you will too. You have a family too," he tells me.

"Just me and Kenna, here."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, we're coping," I say quietly. "Can I have your phone to program the number?"

Once that is done, Riley gets up and extends his hand to me. We shake hands again before he walks us to the door.

"Oh, before I forget, don't you want to know what I'll pay you?"

I bet it's not much.

I still need to look for a job, because Riley will be a part time job – I need a real one.

"Sure," I answer.

"Five hundred."

He doesn't specify if I'll get that amount every month, but it's obvious.

I drop the shoe from my hand. Once I get a real job, combined with this one, I can finally get on my feet again. That will allow me to catch up on everything in a few months.

"It works for you?" he asks, unsure when I don't answer.

"It's more than enough. Thank you."

He smiles. "I make a lot of money, no reason being shy about it. As you can see, I don't have anyone to share it with so I pay my employee generously."

I pat his shoulder, finishing putting my shoes on. "See you Wednesday?" I ask.

"Yes. I'll call you."

Saying goodbye, we leave. I still can't believe the luck I have.

On the way home, I pass the bank I worked at until I couldn't meet the schedule because of Jasper. Making a rush decision, I slam the breaks and park in front of it.

"Sorry, baby," I whisper to Kenna, who gasps loudly. "One more stop, then we go home," I promise.

We walk inside together and I'm happy to see at least one person I used to know. The cashier is the same. Her eyes widen, and since she doesn't have anyone, she comes around her desk and hugs me tightly.

"Edward!" she exclaims.

"Hey, Kate. Still here?"

"Nepotism works in my favor." She giggles. Then she sees Kenna. "Aw! She's that tiny little baby you used to cling to?"

"I'm not a baby!" Kenna snaps, putting her hands on her hips.

"Oh, she's beautiful, Edward."

"Thanks." I beam at her. "Listen, I'm not here to visit… Is Tanya in her office?"

"She'd move in there if I didn't drag her out sometimes," Kate tells me, shaking her head.

"Busy?" I ask, suddenly feeling all kinds of nervous…like the first day I stepped foot in here.

I was scared shitless.

"You can disturb her."

"Kenna, sweetie, can you stay with Kate? I'll be right back," I say quietly, crouching to her level.

Her green eyes glance at Kate then at me. Her lip disappears between her teeth.

"Don't take too long."

"Never, angel." I kiss her forehead, but before I can straighten my back, I hear a throat clearing from behind me.

And a whistle.

I just know that's my crazy ex-boss.

"Edward Masen! I must say I've missed your fine ass!" Tanya exclaims.

I turn to her, rolling my eyes. "Hello, Tanya. Long time, no see."

"Yes, yes. You didn't visit," she admonishes me.

"Can't say I had a reason to, right? I didn't exactly leave on amicable terms."

"I realize I've been too mean. Kate made me see I lost one of my best employees."

"Hmph. So you need me again?" I ask somewhat hopefully.

"What kind of question is that?" she huffs. "I think you cursed me into the next century for firing you, because no employee after you stayed longer than a month in your position."

"Sorry to hear that." I'm not really that sorry.

"You want your job back?" Tanya smirks at me.

"Yep. And I promise to stay all eight hours or however long you need me to…but first we need to talk," I say.

"Sure." She nods.

I leave Kenna with Kate and follow Tanya to her office. In a few short phrases, I cover everything – from Jasper's death to my unsuccessful relationship with Carlisle to Riley. She understands, and even tells me that I'm allowed to take off if Kenna needs me.

Huh.

Long gone is the bitch that used to be my boss. Before I leave her office, I understand why she's suddenly so sweet.

She's pregnant.

I feel sorry for the bastard who ended up with her.

Just like that, my future looks a lot better. But at the same time, I can't find it in me to be happy.

I can't share this with anyone…

I miss Carlisle and it's not even been twenty four hours.

At least this situation made me do something I should have done a long time ago – to take control over my hectic life.


	24. Chapter 24

In the following months, I divide myself between my jobs and Kenna.

The first time Riley pays me is after our very first Wednesday bookstore trip. He gives me five hundred dollars. On Saturday night, when I bring him home after the park walk, he gives me the same amount. I can't keep my mouth shut, and ask if he forgot he already paid me, to which he laughs and explains that I get five hundred a day. Then, jokingly he asks if I'd like to work for him every day. I just thank him, telling him I'm happy with just two-three days a week.

My real job at the bank and my part-time job with Riley help me pay back the debt. I'm finally debt free. For real.

I've become great friends with Riley, and as of late, after picking Kenna up from kindergarten, we drop by his place and have dinner. He's exactly what I need to keep me on the floating line – Riley is the brother I never had.

Of course, there are nights – every night – that I fall asleep with tears streaming down my cheeks and sobs muffled by a pillow at how much I miss Carlisle, but in the morning I regroup and put on the mask. For Kenna.

She still asks about Daddy C, but I distract her. She'll forget him. She's young and she'll get over this.

Not me, though.

Never.

Bella sees through my mask, but I don't budge when she starts questioning me.

Riley is a persistent fucker, and I threaten to leave him in the park alone when he demands details. He accuses me of being heartless for thinking of leaving a disabled man alone. I make him promise to never touch the Carlisle subject.

Even Tanya bugs the fuck out of me.

And I don't even want to think of Kate.

_Why did I want my job at the bank back again?_

I'm currently shopping with Riley. Kenna is in the cart pointing left and right, wanting every shit that she sees.

I'm tired – physically and mentally.

"Kenna, for Christ's sake!" I snap. "We're helping Rile."

Cue tears.

"Don't be a jerk with her," Riley mutters to me, and feels for her face then strokes her cheek. "You've got to forgive your daddy."

"He's mean today," Kenna mumbles.

"I'm tired, honey. I'm sorry, okay?"

After a kiss, I allow her down to let her buy the desired chocolate bar, and I go to buy Riley's favorite cappuccino. They're on the other end of the aisle and I hear her giggles all the way here.

Thankfully, people don't mind much. It's near Christmas, so everyone is shopping with their kids. It's chaos - one reason we're here at ten at night.

"We got chocolate. Are you done?" Riley asks from my side, scaring me.

"Almost." I help Kenna back in the cart and turn to the assortments in front of me.

"We'll be round the corner," Riley tells me and rolls the cart ahead. Kenna loves to guide him, and he loves to have control over something.

I pick three different cappuccino boxes and as I turn to follow them, I hear a crash.

"Kenna!" I groan, hurrying to their side.

"I'm so sorry," I hear Riley apologizing. "We didn't mean it."

"You okay, Rile?" I ask, stopping next to him.

"Yeah, my eyes here didn't stop me," he jokes.

"Really, Kenna—" The scolding words get stuck in my throat.

They crashed into none other than Carlisle.

I haven't seen him since his birthday – that party…

God.

It hurts to see him.

"Is there a problem, Edward? Did we hurt the other person?" Riley asks worried.

"No, he's okay," I say mechanically. "We should go if there's nothing else on the list." I grab Riley's elbow and roll the cart away, determined not to turn to Carlisle.

"It was him?"

I want to punch him, but I just sigh loudly.

"Daddy, stop," Kenna gasps, her eyes on the person we left behind.

"No."

"Daddy…" She looks at me scared. "Please. Daddy C…he…fell."

I stop and whirl around. Holy shit. He's crumbled to the floor. He's shaking and crying and…I feel so fucking guilty.

He doesn't want us. He told me.

I close my eyes and turn to roll us to a cash register.

Kenna holds on to Riley, then jumps out of the cart before breaking it into a run behind us.

Crap.

"Riley…" I whisper.

"Go after her. I know you want that. Maybe you should listen to him."

Riley – the voice of reason.

I walk to the spot where Carlisle is now hugging Kenna and sobbing, attracting odd looks.

Leaving Riley next to the cart, I crouch next to them. "Let's go home and talk," I whisper. "Come on, Kenna." I pry her from his arms. "You too, Carlisle," I add.

It's so weird to say his name.

The cashier moves in slow-motion, and I'm extra aware of the man next to me.

I feel his warmth, his scent, his presence clouding my judgment all over again.

"Did you drive here?" I ask Carlisle when we finally step out into the cold, crispy Chicago winter air.

"I walked," he answers in a rough voice.

"We need to drive Rile back. I'll come to your place after," I promise.

"Can I go with him? Please, Daddy?" Kenna pleads with me. "Please, I missed Daddy C."

"No, Kenna. We're dropping Rile back, then you're spending the night at Bella's. I need to talk to Carlisle. Alone."

"NOOOO!" she yells, hitting my arm with her little fist.

"Kenna, don't start screaming. I'll still do what I want," I snap. "I'll see you in an hour," I tell Carlisle and go to my car.

All the way to Riley's, at his place, and on the way to Bella's, Kenna yells as loudly as she can that she hates me and that she wants Daddy C and she doesn't want to see me ever again.

I'm nervous as fuck and she's getting on my nerves.

"Kenna, if you say another word, I'll tell Santa you were naughty."

That shuts her up.

Christmas is just one week away.

I'm aware of how late it is, but I truly hope Bella will help me. I'll buy her something super special for Christmas.

Jacob answers the door in just a pair of boxers, looking still asleep.

"Hey, man," I greet him. "Is B awake?"

"No, sorry. You want us to keep Kenna?" he asks, yawning in his hand.

"Yes, if it isn't too much."

"It's okay. We're getting along pretty well." He grins.

That's true. Kenna has started warming up to him and I trust him, too.

"It's a rush decision, so I don't have anything for her," I explain.

"Don't worry. We have some of her clothes here." Jacob waves me off. "Come in, hon. Let daddy go play."

Yeah, play.

I feel like I'm going to war.

I hug Kenna and kiss her. "Be good, okay? I'll pick you up tomorrow from kindergarten."

I leave, feeling my heart beating out of my chest.

I'm going to actually take Riley's advice and listen to Carlisle. He has opened my eyes to how idiotically I acted.

I should have stayed and talked with him, but I did what I thought it was best for Kenna.

Carlisle's house looks the same, minus the plastic Santa on his front yard. I don't even reach the door before it opens.

I step inside and toe my boots off, then follow him to the couch.

It looks a little too much like our first time here. There's coffee of on the table, and The Beatles are playing in the background.

Before I can sit, Carlisle takes my hand and I feel a thousand things – tingles, shivers, muscles tightening, hair standing up, heart beating wildly, haphazard thoughts.

"Sugar, can you ever forgive me?"

I want to shout at him.

I want to tell him he lost the right to call me that.

I want to demand explanations.

But I can't talk. Carlisle's hugging me now and kissing me. I can't say no. I can't pull back.

He's crying. He's shaking. He's pleading with me to stay.

He seems to be just as affected by our separation as I am.

"Carl, I'm here," I whisper, hugging him tightly, washing in the sensation of having him in my arms again.

"Edward, I should have stayed awake and talked with you. I never thought you'd leave."

"You were loud and clear that you didn't want me, Carlisle. I complicated your life…and you turned my life upside down," I tell him. "You hurt us. Kenna was devastated."

"I'm so sorry." He touches my face so gently, as if he's afraid I'll break. "Can I explain why I told you that? I know I'm too late, but you forbade me to contact you…and you didn't show up at the hospital…and now, I saw you found someone." His voice breaks.

"No…"

He shakes his head, not allowing me explain. "When I said I can't do it anymore, I didn't mean this – us." He waves a hand between us. "I realized during that scene that I can't be your Dom."

"Because I wasn't good enough and complicated your life," I state, not meeting his eyes.

"No!" he groans loudly, squeezing my hands. "The complication I was talking about… I worded it incorrectly. It wasn't a complication – it was relief, because in that moment I understood why I couldn't act like before around you, why I could never punish you, take you to the limit…" Carlisle raises my head to look in my eyes. "I fell for you."

My heart speeds up and I feel tears springing in my eyes. "No." I shake my head. "Don't tell me this," I beg. "Please…"

"I should have talked to you, but…"

"Carlisle, do you expect me to believe you?" I hiss. "If you truly felt like this, it wouldn't have mattered that I forbade you to visit me! If you truly loved me as you claim, you'd have come after me once you realized I was gone!"

"I did!" he yells. "I did, Edward! You never answered. Then you didn't show up at work and Emmett told me to never ask about you again. You were fine on your own."

"You…came?" I whisper, sidetracked. "Oh, fuck." I fall on the couch. "I wasn't home much the day after I left. I got my job at the bank back and decided to help Riley. Yeah, we got home around five in the evening," I mumble.

Carlisle kneels at me feet, taking my hands again. "Riley? The man you're seeing?"

I give him a small smile. "I'm just helping him. He's like the brother I never had."

"Oh. That means you're still…you haven't seen…" He stumbles over his words.

"I think I'm done with relationships and the crap they involve. I just don't have luck in love," I tell him seriously.

He searches my eyes for something. "I want to try again. I will not force you into anything you don't want, but Edward…I missed you so much."

"No." I stand and start pacing. "Please don't do this. My heart can't take it."

"I promise not to hurt you ever again, in any way." Carlisle comes to me, stopping me. "I will do anything so you'll forgive me. I can't live without you. When I realized you were gone…a part of me died."

"Carlisle…" I whisper through the lump in my throat. I feel tears burn at the corner of my eyes.

"Please. I need you," he begs.

"I need to think about this," I answer tentatively.

I know I'll accept, but it will take a whole lot of time to regain his trust.

"I promise to never hurt you." With that, he falls again…but not like in the store.

Fuck.

Carlisle's kneeling in front of me – his head down, hands in front of him. "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Carlisle, you don't have to…" I crouch in front of him, tilting his head. "I need time. That's all."

"If you decide to forgive me, I promise you right now you will have all the power in the relationship – you had it before too, though you had no idea."

He's crying again. "Let me take you to bed. You need to calm down. I'm here," I insist.

Once he's in bed, I turn to head to the kitchen to prepare him tea.

"Don't go yet," he whispers softly, grabbing my hand.

"I'm not going too far," I promise as I leave his room.

While I work on the tea, I think.

Carlisle loved me.

He came after me. Fuck.

Why did Destiny make me leave?

If I stayed…

Maybe it's for the best.

I'm suddenly overwhelmed, and while the water boils, I collapse over the counter. I'm a sobbing mess.

Why did I leave so early after Kenna?

Actually, why did I leave Carlisle in the first place?

Damn, if I'd stayed…we'd have talked…

None of this would have happened.

"Sugar, are you okay?"

I jump up and wipe my tears. "Yeah," I croak out.

"I can't apologize enough for how I hurt you and Kenna. Poor soul. Does she hate me?" Carlisle whispers, coming to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach.

"She misses you. I think she made it clear in the store." I let out a small chuckle, squeezing his arms.

"Then you must hate me."

"I can't," I choke out, turning in his arms and hugging him tightly. "I wish I could hate you for everything you've done, but I can't. I still lo…" I look up at him. "You're not the only one who fell in love."

"Oh, sugar. I'm such a horrible person," Carlisle murmurs, crushing me to his chest. "I don't deserve you."

I gulp a fresh round of tears. "Can we _not_ talk? I just want to be…just be close to you. We can talk another day."

"Anything."

We take our cups of tea and head to his room where we sit on top of the bed, leaning against the headboard.

I like this – being close to him.

I missed him more than I thought possible.


	25. Chapter 25

Just lying there in bed, being so close, helps me sort out my thoughts.

Carlisle asks a few questions about what I've done while we've been apart. I tell him everything – from the moment I left until we bumped into him at the store.

He's happy I managed to pull out from the bottom of the well. I'm happy, too.

Kenna deserves this – a good father.

Then I ask what he's been doing all this time.

With a heavy sigh, his head falls on my shoulder and I feel tears soaking my shirt.

"When I realized I lost you…I found the worst way to deal with it – I went to my cellar."

"You started drinking?" I ask, shocked.

"Now you truly must hate me."

I tilt his head so I can see his watery blue eyes. "I can't ever hate you, okay. Never."

"You're too kind, Edward." Carlisle sighs. "I called in sick, and after a week of emptying many expensive bottles of wine, Esme showed up at my door and gave me the wake-up call I needed. I pulled out of my misery, and with her help…I realized that worse shit happens to people."

"That's true, but having your heart broken hurts worse than anything else," I whisper.

"She told me about my patients, about people sick at the hospital that needed me. Then she told me that she'd have _wanted_ to have her heart broken when she was sixteen." He stops and takes a shuddering breath. "It's her story, but it stuck me so hard…"

"What happened? Esme? She doesn't look like…" I'm curious. I've always seen her as a jovial and happy person.

"She realized that no matter what life throws at you, you have to get back on your feet and confront it – live your life." Carlisle looks into my eyes. "She lived on a farm and her parents were mostly gone with business. One day, the veterinarian came when she was alone…"

"Oh, God!" I gasp.

"Yes…she didn't tell her parents what happened. She got pregnant and when she knew she couldn't hide it anymore, she left home, ashamed. That's how she ended up in Chicago…but on the way here she gave birth to her child."

"Hold on…how far away could she have lived?"

"Somewhere in Ohio, but she knew she had relatives in Chicago. It turned out there weren't any relatives. Anyway, by the time she reached a hospital…she was dehydrated, the baby was already dead – she was in bad shape physically and mentally. After a long year of thinking of killing herself, she saw an advertisement for a nursing class on a building. They didn't accept her because she hadn't finished school. She was determined to help others, so she finished high school then enrolled in nursing school. All the while, she waitressed so she could pay for her rent and books."

"I would never have guessed she went through so much."

"And the other example I thought…" Carlisle whispers. "It was you, sugar. You decided to live even though your husband died. You didn't drown your sorrows in alcohol."

"Truth?" I murmur, not meeting his eyes. "If I didn't have Kenna…we wouldn't be talking now. Probably would have never met. I thought so many times of the short way out…even had a plan for Kenna. I'd have given her to Bella, with a letter explaining what a coward her dad was."

"I don't want to ever hear that from you!" Carlisle shouts, looking agitated. "No. I can't think…" He cups my cheeks. "Don't think of that. No."

Right then and there…through his breaking voice, I realize he does love me.

"You helped me a lot," I whisper. "The…uh, Playroom sessions…they helped me a lot emotionally. They made me stronger," I admit. "I can't even thank you enough."

"That's what they usually do. But we jumped in feet first. I should have explained to you more. I shouldn't have taken you to that party. There are so many things I should have done differently." He shakes his head.

"Can we leave all that in the past?" I wonder.

"Of course."

We settle back against the headboard, quiet. Until Carlisle moves to take his sweater off, telling me it's warm.

I shrug, because he's right. It is too warm in his house.

Then I see something on his arm, disappearing under his short sleeved shirt. This wasn't there before.

It's a new tattoo.

Without my consent, my fingers touch the orange and yellow flames…or whatever the image is.

Carlisle shivers and looks sheepishly at me.

"I did this after Esme's visit," he explains. He rolls the short sleeve up, but still all I can see are flames.

"Flames?" I ask, curiously.

Carlisle chuckles. "Can I take my shirt off? It's pretty big."

It's my turn to laugh. "Sure."

In one fluid movement, his shirt is off and I'm in front of a beautiful phoenix. The flames are its tail. One wing is on his back, while the other is on his chest. The bird's head looks like it's resting on his shoulder. There are a few tears dropping toward Carlisle's heart.

It's the most intriguing and gorgeous tattoo I've ever seen.

"Does is it mean anything in particular? Besides phoenix being the only bird to burn in its ashes and be reborn from it. I get that part."

"The phoenix's tears have healing powers," he explains.

I nod, tracing the bird's head.

Then our eyes meet and I know I've forgiven him. It will take time to regain his trust, but all I want is to kiss him, to be back in his arms, to be safe, happy, loved.

We move at the same time – our arms go around the other's neck, our lips meet and soft sounds escape us as we kiss desperately. Everything we've felt over the past couple months is pouring into this kiss.

"I love you, sugar. With all my heart," Carlisle murmurs against my lips.

I gulp the lump in my throat. "I love you, too, Carl."

There are tears on my cheeks, but I let them fall. He's right. Tears are healing.

I end up spending the night with him. Neither of us sleeps – we're under the blanket, hugging, cuddling, kissing, caressing, not wanting to let go.

In the morning, when I feel him getting out of the bed, I decide it's time to start the day.

We make coffee and drink it on the couch. Our feet are tangled under the coffee table.

It feels more intense than ever before – but that's probably because I know he loves me, too. Because we're going to give our relationship a real shot without starting off as Dom/Sub.

We're going to be just Edward and Carlisle.

"Do you have to work today?" I ask, reluctant to leave his side.

"Sadly, I have to be there. The last time I left the interns alone, they nearly ODed a small child."

"Oh no!" I gasp. "You must go. I have to be at the bank at nine," I add. "And I still need to change my clothes."

"If I let you leave now, will I see you again?" Carlisle asks quietly.

"Of course. I want to try again."

"So we're...dating?" He chuckles, elbowing me gently.

"If you want to label it..."

"Is it too soon to have dinner together?"

"I miss your cooking. If you make one of your special dishes, I'll definitely be here."

Jeez. I'm flirting.

"Then it's settled. I'm making an Indian recipe I found a few days ago." Carl winks.

He's flirting right back, and it feels like the first love all over again - butterflies, daydreaming and that general amazing feeling.

"Oh!" Carlisle moans. "Do you think Kenna would like Indian food?" Then he eyes me sadly. "Am I even allowed around her?"

"I think she'll forever hate me if I keep her away more than necessary."

"Good. Squishy misses her."

I frown, before groaning loudly. "NOOO! Please. Why did you keep the rat?"

"He kept me company, though falling asleep in bed with me...he nearly found his death a couple times."

"He slept with you?" I shout. "I need to shower." I suddenly feel itchy all over – my phobia's fault.

This is amusing Carlisle terribly because he's laughing so hard, the couch is shaking.

When he gets a grip of himself, I finally tell him I have to go, but promise to return in the evening with Kenna.

He walks me to the door where we kiss for a long time. I know this kiss leads only to one place - his bed - so I end it, then leave.

The only problem is it snowed overnight – heavily. My small car is buried under a mountain of snow.

"Need a lift?" Carlisle jokes.

I'm about to pull a tantrum that could rival Kenna's, because this amazing day starts looking down. Fast.

It's only seven thirty, but by the time we shovel all the snow out of the way, it's close to quarter past eight. I won't make it on time to work if I stop home – which I have to.

The only time we crashed at Riley's after a long evening of fun and games, I dropped Kenna off at school, then went to work...and Kate was prompt to ask who was the lucky guy.

I definitely don't want that conversation.

To top my worries, my stupid car doesn't start.

Carlisle suggests I shower at his place and borrow some of his clothes. He'll drop me off at work.

I really want to say no, but all I can do is kiss him quickly then rush inside.

After a speedy shower and grabbing some clothes that fit me, I'm in his car, directing him to the bank.

When he parks in front of the building, I can see he's looking amused at me.

What?

Did I miss something?

"Is Tanya your boss?" he asks between chuckles.

I tense, then groan. "How do you know her? I swear that woman knows the whole city!"

"Unfortunately, we're related."

"You're what?" I spit out.

"Related," he repeats slowly as if I'm stupid. "She's my estranged cousin. After the fight I got in with my mother, I left and never looked back. She probably doesn't remember me since...well, I haven't seen her since I was about fourteen."

Then I make the connection with what she told me a long time ago – her cousin with golden hair.

"Carly!" I exclaim.

"What did you just say?" Carlisle hisses, narrowing his eyes at me.

I take it he hates the nickname as much as I hate being referred to as Eddie.

"Tanya. She used to talk about her golden-haired cousin – Carly."

"She always knew how to embarrass me. Wait! That means..."

"She remembers you," I continue. "We live in a small world," I say laughing.

"Indeed. Do you mind if..." He gestures to the bank.

I'm not ready, but they're relatives.

Fuck.

They'll know he's the Carlisle I've been bitching about.

Tanya told me she'd hurt him if she met him...maybe not really since he's her cousin – the one she missed.

"Maybe not today," I whisper, but he's already out of the car.

I knuckle my forehead as I see Tanya coming out of the bank, one hand gripping Kate's hand...one hand on her stomach.

Awesome.

Do I need more drama in my life?

I get out of the car and rush to them. Kate sees me and shouts at me to call Simon – the douche Tanya calls a husband.

While I search for his number in my phone, Tanya starts shouting. A glance tells me it's not the baby this time – she's seen Carlisle.

 _Keep calm_ , I encourage myself. _Calm. Breathe in, breathe out._

That should be something for Tanya, but it's for me, apparently.

A lot of yelling and hugging and crying later, we're piled in Carlisle's car on our way to the hospital.

"I'll take her," he tells me, then they disappear inside and I'm left juggling my phone and the car keys.

I park the car legally, finish talking with Simon, then face Kate. My nemesis.

She's awfully quiet as we step into the hospital. I ask for Tanya Sparrow...because Simon couldn't have had a better name – short and fat, with small beady eyes.

As we walk to the delivery room, Kate bursts into a fit of giggles.

"I told Tanya you got lucky last night. You're always early. Today, when it hit ten past nine, I knew you were busy." She smirks at me.

"I didn't get lucky. We just...hashed out some things."

"In French? Or was that this morning? Your lips are swollen and your hair is in worse disarray than ever. And you have this glow about you."

"Kate," I moan. I want to bang my head against the wall.

The day is a blur of activity, and when Simon arrives, Tanya's rolled away to give birth. Carlisle distracted her from the pain as much as he could while they reconnected. Kate and I never made it back to the bank, but I wasn't complaining.

When the clock catches my eye, I gasp. Kenna!

Kate tells us to go get her, she'll keep us updated.

I can't wait to see Kenna's reaction to Carlisle.


	26. Chapter 26

We wait at the gate next to the other parents.

As we stand there; I lean against the gates with Carlisle a few inches away, his hands in his pockets, eyes on the kindergarten's door. Concentrating on when the door will open and Kenna will rush out, Carl doesn't see the looks we get.

I don't care whether they think it's moral or not, but they could have the decency to look, then turn their heads and judge in silence – not look, point, and gossip behind their hands. I can't believe some of these people's kids are friends with my Kenna.

To make it even better, I see a green Jeep pull up.

How could I forget about Emmett?

He seems to take his time before getting out of the car, but I can't keep my groan locked inside.

"Something wrong?" Carlisle asks, worried, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Emmett," I mutter. "He just arrived."

"Oh. Yeah, he's not on my side since…you know?"

"I bet. I stopped him from going after you and cutting your body into small pieces," I say jokingly. "Oh, that's better!" I sigh in relief as I see a pregnant Rosalie step out of the green Jeep.

No Emmett.

She was understanding, even tried to make me talk with Carlisle.

"Is that your friend?" Carlisle asks, just as the door opens and kids spill out of the school, running, yelling, showing off their paintings.

It's always crazy.

To my surprise, Kenna is one of them. She usually just walks to me…not running, shouting. Into Carl's arms.

Figures.

"Hi, Edward," I hear Rosalie greeting me.

"Hi." I turn to her. She's holding Dave's hand, her eyes on the reunion behind me.

I can hear them whispering and giggling and my heart swells.

"Before you say anything, yes, we talked and we're taking it slowly," I tell her. "Please, when you tell Emmett, make sure he doesn't overreact."

Rose laughs. "Have you met Emmett? He'll flip!"

" _Please_ ," I insist.

"I can't promise he'll listen."

"I trust you to talk sense into him. I love Carlisle," I add quietly, keeping my eyes on my favorite people in the world.

"Oh, I know you do, honey. Just be careful. We hate to see you hurt." She pats my cheek, then guides Dave to their car.

I feel small arms around my leg and look down to see Kenna looking up at me, smiling bashfully.

"Hi, Daddy."

I chuckle and pick her up, giving her an Eskimo kiss. "Hi, my angel."

"You and Daddy C back together?"

I catch his eye and grin. "Apparently. Are you happy?"

"That means we'll go back to his house?"

"Of course," Carlisle answers with determination in his voice. "There's someone that missed you."

Kenna's eyes grow as she reaches her arms to wrap them around his neck. I pass her over, nudging them to go to the car...before I kill someone. I feel everyone's eyes on us.

I drive while they're glued to each other in the backseat.

Every now and then, I let my eyes linger on them through the rearview mirror.

I realize how much I missed Carlisle, how much I hurt Kenna by the brutal separation.

After stopping by our place to grab a few things, we continue to Carlisle's house.

This time, I'm going to fight with Kenna about coming home. I want to do this at a normal pace; no more jumping in bed.

While Carlisle forbids us to go anywhere near the kitchen area, I take Kenna to the guest room - her room - and change her clothes, before leaving her there to play with her pet. I go to take a shower to wash off the hospital smell, then I call Kate to hear what happened after we left.

Tanya gave birth to a little boy and apparently, it's just me and Kate now at the bank. There are a few others, but we have to take care of whatever Tanya was doing. That will mean long hours after my usual schedule.

Considering more than an hour has passed, I decide to go check on Carlisle. He's setting the table, humming to himself.

When he sees me hovering, his eyes narrow.

"What did I tell you, sugar?"

I raise my hands and laugh. "Very domestic," I say, nodding to his apron with reindeer on it.

"Oh, this? I've had it for years."

"I like it," I whisper and walk closer to him. "Let me help."

"I'm done." He kisses my cheek, then peeks behind me, probably checking for Kenna. "Listen, I want to know if it's okay with you to buy her something for Christmas."

"I already bought her something. Please, don't spend your money like that," I beg him.

"It will be my pleasure." Carlisle cups my cheek. "But if you don't want…"

"Carl, I'm not stopping you."

He beams, pushing me toward the stairs. "Bring Kenna, sugar."

When we sit down to eat, Kenna starts fidgeting, glancing at me frequently and biting her little lip.

"What's wrong, baby?" I ask worried, abandoning my food.

"Daddy, you know the play at kindergarten?"

"Yes, baby. What about it?" I frown, not understanding her. She's been excited about it for weeks. "Kenna?" I insist, taking her on my lap.

She peeks shyly at Carlisle, and faces me with her huge eyes. "Can Daddy C come, too?"

"Aw, sweetie." I sigh loudly. "Would you like to come?" I look at Carlisle. "They have a little play next Friday."

"I'm an angel." Kenna beams, giving Carlisle a huge smile.

"Of course, you are! And, of course, I'll be there!" he answers, smiling broadly.

"YAY!" She jumps off my lap and rushes to him, hugging him tightly.

I shake my head, picking up my fork once again. "This Indian recipe is really good," I comment. "Not really spicy."

"That's because I put less than half the amounts of condiments they said," Carl answers, laughing.

"Oh, that explains it." I nod. "Kenna, will you sit in your chair? Let Carlisle eat."

She scowls at me, refusing to move.

"Kenna," I insist, narrowing my eyes at her.

"But I like it here. I missed him!"

"I know, baby," I whisper. "But let him eat. You can stay with him all you want after we finish eating."

By some miracle, she listens and slides off his lap, shuffling to her chair. She even starts picking at the food.

I smile, happy she finally listened to me without the argument ending up in tears.

I catch Carlisle's eye and he grins, showing me his thumb. I grin back.

After dinner, we move to the couch to watch TV, but neither one of us is interested in the flat screen. We have our little reunion. I can't tell who's happier.

I'm snuggled into Carlisle's side, his arm around me, his thumb stroking my bicep. Kenna sits on his lap, tucked into his chest, telling him about whatever comes to her mind. He's captivated by her stories, laughing and gasping at the appropriate moments. I just enjoy having him close again.

I'm aware we need time to get back to what we had, but I know neither of us is ready for more. We don't want to screw it up again.

When it's late in the night, I finally hint that we should head home. Carlisle pouts, but allows me to take Kenna from his arms.

I just wrap her in her coat, afraid to wake her and face a major tantrum.

Carlisle walks me out, and since I left my car here, I try my luck. It starts.

I guess it's Fate's work—this car. Seriously.

That, or Jazz is somehow fucking with me on purpose. I glare at the skies, sighing heavily.

Once home, I take Kenna to bed then go to change my clothes. When I return, she's up, rubbing her eyes and looking around confused.

"Where we?"

"Home, baby. Sleep. It's night," I tell her quietly, slipping in the bed next to her. I wrap her in my arms and tug the blanket over us.

"Why we here? What about Daddy C? Are you fighting again?" She starts crying and my heart twists in pain.

"Baby, we talked about this." I stroke her hair. "Honey," I murmur, kissing her head. "I am talking again with Carlisle, but there won't be any sleepovers any time soon. In a relationship—a new one, people don't just sleep over every night. Honestly, only in serious relationships or married people should live under the same roof," I babble.

She sniffs. "But when? I miss him."

"We'll see him as often as we can. That doesn't mean every day. I will be extra busy at work. You know what happened today?" I ask, turning her head to look at her.

"What?"

"Tanya gave birth to her baby. We'll visit her tomorrow if you want."

"Yes. Is he small?"

"I bet. I wasn't there when it happened. I realized I had to pick you up from kindergarten. Daddy C was dropping me off at work since my car wouldn't start. It turned out he knows Tanya...so all of us went to the hospital when we realized the baby was coming."

"Do I have a mommy, too?" She frowns.

I still, unsure what to do.

I had a conversation with Jasper about the moment we'd tell her we adopted her, but heck, I am not ready.

 _Jazz, what the heck am I going to tell her?_ I wonder silently.

"Kenna, that's a serious conversation. We have to wake early. We'll talk about it tomorrow when we come home. Deal?"

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear, baby." I grab her pinky, bringing her hand to my mouth, kissing it.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning: You may need tissues for the second part of the chapter. Nothing to bad. I promise.

I have a twisted dream. Kenna wants to meet her mommy, then Jasper appears laughing at me and making me dress in women's clothes, telling her I'm the mommy. The scene morphs, and I'm in Carlisle's playroom dressed in a satin dress and lacey underwear and he's spanking me.

I wake with a jerk, sweat rolling down my face.

"What the fuck?" I mutter, getting out of bed.

That was one fucked up dream, and now I have a problem to attend to. Making sure Kenna'll sleep for a little while longer, I jump in the shower and try to remember how good it felt to be touched by Carlisle.

I lean against the wall, fisting my dick and pulling at it until I explode with a loud grunt.

"You okay, Daddy?"

Shit!

Kenna.

I have enough time to rip the shower curtain and hide myself before she opens the door and peeks at me with huge eyes.

"Kenna," I gasp. "What have we talked about bathroom and knocking?"

"You were making noises. I thought you were hurt."

Aw. Poor kid.

"I promise I'm fine. Wait for me on the bed, will you?"

She nods, closing the door behind her.

I heave a sigh of relief and clean up quickly, then wrap myself in a towel and step out of the bathroom.

"Can I go pee?"

"Sure." I laugh, and she sprints the way I came.

"You should have told me you couldn't hold it!" I shout after her.

Jesus, she's so adorable sometimes – most of the time. All the time.

I start the coffee before stepping into a clean pair of boxers.

"I'm hungry now."

"Sheesh!" I jump, turning to stare at her surprised. "Make some noise, you little cat."

She giggles and skips to the kitchen. "What are we eating?"

"I don't know. What do you want?"

She taps her chin, making me chuckle.

"You're laughing at me!" she accuses.

"No, sweetie. I promise." I go to pour myself coffee while she thinks.

"Bread with egg in it," Kenna announces.

"Egg in the basket it is," I confirm and set to work. "Can you make a hole in two slices of bread?"

"Yep."

She loves helping, and I'm going to take whatever I can, because I know this helpful side won't last forever. Soon she'll grow up and I won't be her cool daddy anymore.

The days leading to Kenna's play at school are so busy I barely see her. On Tuesday, I really can't escape at five, so I call Carlisle to pick Kenna from Bella's and keep her until I get there. I leave at ten, and after a text – where I apologize profusely for disturbing him but begging him to keep her overnight – I go home and crash. When I wake up, I see it's eight and I have several missed calls.

It turns out Carl drove Kenna and he'll pick her up at three. We argue for fifteen minutes about it, before I finally cave, but just because I have to get ready for work.

On Thursday evening, I make an effort to leave at seven. Kate more or less pushes me out the door.

I arrive at Carlisle's, and he greets me with a huge smile, kissing me softly.

"I missed you, sugar."

"I missed you, too," I whisper, hugging him. "How much does Kenna hate me for abandoning her?"

"She has a compromise for you."

"She has a what?" I ask dumbly.

"A compromise, you know, when two people agree on something—"

"I know what a compromise is, Carl. The thing is, I wasn't aware Kenna knew of it."

"It was her idea." He laughs. "Of course, she used the word 'compressed', but I guessed what it meant."

"Super. Is she awake?" I ask, taking my shoes off.

It's so quiet.

"She's playing with the guinea pig."

"Argh," I grumble. "Kenna?" I call up the stairs. "Daddy's here!"

Promptly, she appears at the top of the stairs then she's into my arms. God, how I missed her.

I inhale her baby smell greedily.

"I'm really sorry we didn't spend much time together. I told you this was a possibility."

"It's okay, Daddy." She plants a huge smooch on my face. "Daddy C and I have a comprise."

"Compromise," Carlisle corrects her, laughing as he comes to join our hug.

I steer us to the couch where I sit down with Kenna on my lap. "I'm all ears, baby."

"Because you allowed me to have a sleep-over with Daddy C." She beams at me. "You have to spend Christmas with us here."

I snort, unable to stop it. "Uh, it's his house, honey."

"We want this," Carlisle murmurs. " _I_ want you here over Christmas. It will be a couple days. Please, Edward."

I'm afraid we're going to do something we'll regret, but I can't think straight when I'm poked and prodded from every side…and their pouts and watery Bambi eyes… Yeah, I don't stand a chance in hell.

Kenna doesn't have class on Friday so she can prepare for the play. I tell her she can come to work with me, but she scowls, rolling her eyes.

"Daddy C is taking me to the hospital."

"You don't have to, Carl," I protest.

"I want to. Besides, it's my last day before the break. I took two weeks off."

"You shouldn't have."

"Edward, I always take two weeks off for Christmas. I love this holiday, besides…remember what I told you about that last party… That one lasts three days sometimes. So yeah, I needed my time off."

"Oh." I can feel my face falling.

"I'm not attending this year." He covers my hand. "I don't have a reason to be there."

We close the subject of the party, but I know we'll talk about it at some point.

Around noon, when I'm buried deep in papers, I get a call from Riley. I realize with horror, I simply forgot about him this week.

"So you're back with your man-meat and forget about little ol' Riley?" He teases me.

"You have no idea how sorry I am," I answer. "It's insane at work. My boss gave birth and I have to do her job, too." I sigh. "We'll go shopping tomorrow, and I'll take you to the park," I inform him.

"That sounds good. Actually, I called for tonight…"

"Riley…" I whisper, feeling bile rising in my throat. "It's Kenna's play. I can't come to you."

"I know, man! That's what I want…to come with you. God knows how many times I've heard her reciting her part." He sounds amused.

"You'd like to come?" I ask shocked. "Okay. I'll get you in a couple of hours or so. The play starts around five, but I have to be there an hour or so ahead."

"Don't worry. See you soon." Then he hangs up.

I shake my head, going back to the mountain of papers in front of me.

Everyone loves my little princess.

When I leave, I call Carlisle to hear what they're doing. He tells me something happened to the bubbly kid overnight, and now she's extra quiet and refuses to eat.

"She's probably nervous, Carl," I tell him. "Is she close by?"

"She's watching cartoons with the pig. Hey, sweetie, daddy wants to talk to you." I hear him talking with her quietly, not getting much from her besides grunts and huffs.

"Leave her, hon," I whisper. "I'll get there soon. I'm going to get Riley – apparently he wants to be there for Kenna, too. I haven't met a person that hasn't fallen in love with my princess."

"How can anyone stand her charms?" he asks rhetorically, but I determine a hint of something… Is he jealous?

"See you soon, Carlisle. Make sure she eats something."

"Will do. Take care. Drive carefully," he instructs me.

"Yeah. Bye."

When I arrive at Riley's, I find him in his armchair, dressed in a charcoal suit with a striped red tie.

"I think you're overdressed."

"Hello to you, too," he retorts. "It's not like I'll dress in jeans for this occasion."

I roll my eyes, happy he can't see. "Whatever you say, man. Let's go. I have someone to calm before the big moment," I tell him. "Carl's worried. I guess he hasn't seen her nervous before. You know how Kenna is all over the place, but in moments like this…she's so quiet and obedient you wouldn't recognize her."

"Can't wait to meet this side of her, but Edward…" He grasps my arm. "Are you okay with me being around your partner?"

"You're my friend, Riley. He has to accept that I have friends outside our relationship. He knows Rose and Em, Kate and Tanya…yeah."

"Yeah, but all of them are married of have someone, they're not single and gay."

"Riley, let's not complicate this." I steer him out the door.

The ride is quiet. With the exception of Riley worrying about the sounds the car is making.

"I guess it's time to take Carl's offer."

"And buy a new car?"

"No, meet his mechanic friend. Or just visit Jake, Bella's husband. See, another couple of my friends he knows," I add, chuckling.

"Still not single and gay."

I huff and refuse to talk for the rest of the ride.

The second I park the car, the front door opens and Carlisle runs out in just sports pants, shirt and slippers. He looks…crazed for the lack of another word.

I have enough time to park the car and help Riley out before he reaches us, coming to a skidding halt in front of me when he catches some ice. I grab his hand and raise an eyebrow.

"Sugar, you have to talk to her. She just said she's not going anywhere. She doesn't want to be embarrassed when she messes up and she almost destroyed her costume, but I saved it."

"What the heck?" This is more than nerves. "Uh, Carl, you met Riley. Riley, this is Carlisle, my, uh…boyfriend."

"Nice to officially meet you," Carlisle says quietly, shaking Riley's hand.

I tug them inside, and after making sure Carlisle will help Riley to the couch, I run upstairs.

"Kenna, baby?" I call, opening the door.

She's on the bed, hugging the pillow Jazz got her and sobbing.

I suddenly know what's wrong, and feel my own tears forming in my eyes.

"He knows, sweetie. He'll see you. He's so proud of you," I whisper, approaching the bed.

"You think?" she hiccups.

"Yes, baby." I sit next to her, wrapping my arms around her small body. "And Jazz will be really disappointed if you don't do this. Can I ask what made you think you aren't good? What made you think of…Daddy Jay?" I swallow my tears but they still fall down my cheeks. "You couldn't wait for this moment last week."

"Daddy, everyone is bringing their parents. I have just you."

Fuck, I'm going to break down. "I just told you Jasper will be there, too. You won't see him, but he will be there."

"Are you sure?" She looks so heartbroken.

"Yes. Besides, you have Daddy C and Riley. They'll be there. I promise to clap the loudest for you." I kiss her hair.

"Really, really loud."

I nod, brushing her tears away. "Now, let's get ready."

Half an hour later, Kenna's dressed in her angel costume and in the backseat of Carlisle's car, next to Riley. I'm shotgun, tugging at my tie.

It's all Riley's fault. We're dressed fancy because he said her play is very important.

When we park in front of the kindergarten, I'm surprised by how many people are there. I haven't seen so many of them since the first day of school.

To my shock, amongst them are Bella and Jake. Kenna sees them first and runs to Bella.

I let them find the seats while I take my baby backstage. Her teacher immediately whisks her away, ushering her next to the other kids dressed as angels. I blow her a kiss and with a wink, I return to the seats.

There's an empty chair between Carlisle and Riley – I bet they did it on purpose, but I don't care.

"I think she transferred the nerves to you," Carlisle jokes.

"I think you're right," I mumble, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "Thanks for coming, Bella," I whisper, leaning over Carl to look at her.

"How could I miss it?"

I pat her leg, smiling before readjusting in my seat.

The teacher appears on the makeshift stage and announces the start of their little play.

"Tell me when Kenna is on stage," Riley whispers in my ear.

"'Kay. You'll probably be able to tell when she's there – she's in the chorus."

"Still."

The play is about Jesus's birth, and after a few lines, the curtain closes then it opens and shows the kids dressed as angels. Kenna's to the right, smoothing her dress and searching for me.

I raise my hand, beaming at her.

Fuck, I'm going to cry.

They start singing Christmas songs, and I've heard her repeating so much, I can almost distinguish her voice.

When the song is over, the curtain falls again. When it opens the kids dressed as Mary and Joseph reappear, along with a few others. The angels come from the sides of the stage. It's so beautiful.

I'm happy Jacob offered to tape it. I wouldn't have been able to hold the camera.

At some point, Carlisle wraps an around my shoulders, hugging me tightly. I tuck my head in the crook of his neck, sniffing.

I'm pathetic.

I can't take my eyes off my little girl. She's amazing.

When it's over, I stand and start clapping so hard my palms hurt. Before the kids can leave the stage, someone dressed as Santa appears with a sack of presents.

But the moment is over; Kenna's the first off and running to me. I quickly crouch and open my arms. She slams into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and legs around my waist as I stand.

"You were amazing, baby! You did so well! I love you so much," I murmur, kissing her cheek.

"I love you, too, Daddy," she whispers, squeezing me. "I felt him," she adds quietly just as Carlisle comes to our side and wraps his arms around her. She moves into his arms, grinning, her eyes still on me.

"I told you," I choke out.

Everyone from our little gathering takes turns hugging and congratulating my baby. Even Emmett approaches us with Dave in his arms. "You've got a little singer there."

I smile, proud of my girl. "She's got talent. What can I say, takes after her daddy."

"So modest," he jokes, keeping his eyes on Kenna, who's in Carlisle's arm, looking through the bag of sweets she got from Santa.

"Friends?" I wonder, glancing at him.

"We never stopped being friends, buddy. Just…I didn't like seeing you getting hurt, but God help me, if he hurts you again…"

"Don't worry, Em. We're taking it slowly this time."

"Daddy!" Kenna calls me.http://archiveofourown.org/works/501143/chapters/new

"Yes, sweetie." I shrug to Em and walk closer to her.

"Can Riley come with us to Daddy C's? And Bella and Jake? We celebrate!"

I laugh, checking with Carlisle from my eyes if he's okay with the unwanted guests. He nods, grinning.

"Sure, baby. Em, you wanna join us, too?" I ask over my shoulder.

"Dave's beat and Rosie's always tired lately. Next time," he answers. "Don't pout, kiddo. I promise we'll have a reunion soon," he tells Kenna, turning to leave.

Before we leave, I'm approached by Kenna's teacher – she tells me how great my girl was, and asks if I'm interested in signing her up for singing classes.

"I'll have to ask her. Thanks for the offer," I answer, looking after my group. She's still in Carlisle's arms.

The teacher nods and bids me a good night, wishing me "Merry Christmas" before turning to another set of parents.

I leave the school feeling lighthearted. I know that forgiving Carlisle was a good decision. We both made mistakes and we learned from them.

I want to start this new chapter of our lives with good memories. Kenna can finally have a family.


	28. Chapter 28

The party, as Kenna calls it, isn't that interesting when the main star starts yawning not one hour in. She tries to stay awake, rubbing her eyes and talking with Riley about her role, but I see that fatigue wins.

I tap Carlisle's leg and nod to Kenna. He glances at her and chuckles.

"I'll take her upstairs," I offer.

He nods, continuing his conversation with Jake about cars.

"I'll have to steal your companion," I tell Riley. "She's tired."

"Oh. Okay. Sleep well, sweetie." He reaches to stroke her hair before sinking into the couch, tapping his foot to the music spilling from the audio system.

"But Daddy!" Kenna protests through a loud yawn.

"Exactly. Time for bed." I scoop her up and carry her out of the room.

Surprisingly, she doesn't say anything else.

I change her into her pink pajamas, then tuck her under the blanket. "I'll leave the lamp on."

"Stay here," she begs me.

That's new, but I accept. "Try to sleep, you're really tired."

I stay there, lounging next to her on the bed, and watch her sleep, thinking of tonight. I remember the plans I made with Jasper to be there for her first day of school, her first fallen tooth, her first crush, her first tantrum as a teenager... We were supposed to go through that together.

I'm sure he was there, just like I promised Kenna, and I'm sure he loved her a little more, just like me. To see her on the stage, singing and beaming... God, that was the best experience ever.

There's a soft knock on the door, and I disentangle from Kenna without waking her, before going to see who is it.

"Hi," Bella whispers, peeking into the room and smiling at my baby. "She was dead on her feet."

"Yeah," I whisper back, stepping out of the room and closing the door. "Thank you."

"How could I miss it? I'm sure it's customary for the nanny to be there for the kid she babysits."

I chuckle and hug her. "I actually thanked you for everything, Bella. For being there for me when I needed a hard slap, and for helping me so much with Kenna. I've no idea where I'd be now without you."

"Hey, you're my best friend. How could I not help you? You were there for me when Jake should have been..." She squeezes me tightly. "I should be thanking you, Edward." She sniffs.

"Don't cry," I beg her, stroking her head.

"It's my fault what happened to Jasper," she mumbles in my shirt. I freeze, not sure where she's going with this. "If I hadn't...if you hadn't come with me..." She swallows loudly. "You would have never fought. But you were always selfless."

"Bella, can we not talk about this? I never blamed you. It's no one's fault. Okay, maybe I'd kill the motherfucker that took advantages of him that night, but it's not your fault, or mine or anyone else's. Okay?" I tilt her head so I can look into her wet eyes. "Please, don't cry. God, I had no idea you felt like that."

"How could I not? You left Kenna with your old neighbor to come with me! When I heard what happened...that you fought, he went out and...well...then he got sick." She wipes her eyes. "I had a huge fight with Jake—almost broke up with him. I blamed him for my best friend hurting."

"Bella," I groan.

"Yeah, it didn't work, did it? We're still going strong and..." She grins at me. "He proposed. He promised he'll settle down—no more trips around the country. He can finally make his garage work."

"I'm so happy for you, honey!" I exclaim, and glance at the door, hoping I didn't wake Kenna. "No more feeling guilty or blaming anyone, okay?" I add, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"No. I'm so happy to finally see you happy."

"Yes, Carlisle really does make me happy. I guess we didn't start right..." I shrug.

"Every relationship has bumpy roads, we just have to learn how to make it flow smoothly. If I didn't love Jake how I do...he'd have been long gone."

I laugh, draping my arm around her shoulders. "Let's go downstairs."

The sight that greets us is beyond amusing. Riley's slumped in the loveseat, his head lolling at an odd angle, snoring like a broken tractor. Jake is on the couch, taking all of it in, his feet dangling off the armrest. Carlisle's cleaning, and scowling in their direction every two minutes.

"I guess we took too long to return," I whisper to Bella.

"You think?" She laughs heartily, attracting Carl's attention.

"You two! Help me with this mess."

I tend to forget he's anal about cleaning. Laughing, I shuffle to his side and wrap my arms around his waist from behind. "Can you leave that for tomorrow? We'll stack them in the dishwasher and take care of them later."

He tenses up, but nods.

Bella wakes Jake, and after a few grunts and muttered curses, we say goodbye to them. I feel sorry him—I hate being woken up, but oh well, they had to go.

After filling the dishwasher with glasses and plates, I run a towel over the coffee table while Carlisle frowns toward Riley.

"He's staying," I tell him quietly.

"I have just the one guest bedroom and Kenna's in there."

I bite my lip, unsure of what I'm going to say next. "There are...two other beds in the house." I barely hear myself.

Carlisle's eyebrows shoot up. "You'd make your friend sleep in the...Playroom?"

"It's him or us. Come on, Carlisle. There are stairs any way you put it..."

"I'm not comfortable with strangers in my Playroom, and I'm not ready to have you down there."

"We'll just sleep," I whisper. "Or, I could sleep with Kenna..." I offer.

He almost says yes, but shakes his head. "Wake him and show him to my bedroom. I'll be downstairs." He kisses my mouth quickly, then he's gone.

I hope I made the right decision.

After a little shaking and poking, I wake Rile and take him upstairs. I promise it's okay for him to sleep here, and if he needs anything, he has my number.

As I walk down the stairs to the basement, I feel all kinds of sensations through my body—my heart is beating out of my chest, my limbs are shaking, and my mind is remembering all the times we spent in here, how much pleasure I got from our sessions.

Carlisle's on the bed, the blanket bundled at his feet.

"Switch off the light on your way, sugar."

I nod, doing as he said, before I cautiously approach the bed. My knees bump into the frame, making me topple on Carlisle.

"Sorry," I whisper, "I tried to be careful."

"Don't worry. Come here."

I shuffle under the blanket, and he immediately hugs me tightly. His feet are freezing and I squeak, rolling away from him. He laughs and presses his feet to the back of my calves.

"Hey!" I protest, shifting away again.

"Where are you going?" he teases me, draping a leg over me, his arm wrapping around my chest, his hand coming to rest on my shoulder, effectively caging me.

"You're cold," I whine like a petulant child.

"Won't you warm me?" His breath fans over my neck, making me shiver in pleasure. "In all seriousness, I just turned the heater on in here. I had it off, considering I haven't used the room."

"Awesome. How long does it take it to warm up?"

"An hour or so, but we'll be asleep by then."

"You mean dead—frozen."

Carl laughs, squeezing me. "Don't be dramatic, sugar. I could warm you up."

"Or we could just sleep," I hint, glancing over my shoulder at him. "I really want to take it slowly. Don't take it the wrong way; I want you, but…it's too soon."

"You're right. Of course. Our first time won't be here, in the Playroom." He kisses my cheek. "Goodnight, sugar."

I smile into the pillow, feeling my heart swell. I really love it when he calls me that. "Goodnight," I whisper back, closing my eyes.

In the morning, I wake first.

It's probably the worry that has me awake at seven on a weekend day, on a holiday. After five minutes of trying to disentangle from Carl without waking him, I manage the impossible.

He's been hugging me like a vice, refusing to let go.

My first stop is Kenna's room—she's sleeping deeply, hugging her pillow to her chest. I'm sure it's a Christmas thing more than her party. She simply misses her daddy.

Next, I go to Carlisle's room and find Riley just waking up, his head turning to the door as he hears it open.

"Morning, Rile," I greet him.

"Good morning. Sorry for crashing here."

"No worries. Everyone was tired," I assure him. "Besides, we saved gas. I'm taking you to the park, remember?"

"Is today Christmas Eve?" He frowns, scratching his head.

"Tomorrow," I answer.

"Right. Can we make the park walk into a late Christmas shopping trip?" he wonders.

"Okay, okay. Where would you like to go?"

"The mall, but we can't take Kenna."

I groan, resisting the urge to bang my head against the door. "What's up with everyone buying her stuff?"

"It's my pleasure," he tells me stiffly. "Suck it up. You'll have to guide me on what she'd like."

We go downstairs, and while Riley leans against the counter sipping his coffee, I fry bacon. I'm sure Carlisle will approve of a little fried food. Besides, everyone eats badly on Christmas. It's a given.

Kenna's the next to wake up, and she installs herself on her chair, picking at her food, watching Riley. I wonder what's going through her head right now.

I leave Carlisle's plate near the stove as I walk mine to the table. "Eat, Kenna," I whisper, poking her arm with the tail of my fork.

"Ow, Daddy."

"Eat. It's not nice to stare."

She frowns at Riley. "Is he spending Christmas with us?"

I don't know how to answer. That will be up to Carlisle. "We'll ask Daddy C if it's okay to invite Riley over Christmas brunch, okay?"

I'm washing the dishes while Kenna and Riley are in her room, playing something. Poor guy can't catch a break with my sprite. As I'm drying my hands on a dishtowel, I feel Carlisle's arms around my waist, his stubbly cheek against my neck.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" I exclaim, turning in his arms.

"Morning, sugar. I can't believe I slept for so long."

"Yeah, I was about to come check on you. You never sleep like this," I say, stroking his cheek.

"I think it was the best sleep I've had in months." He pecks my lips. "Ah, Edward, what did you cook?"

I shove him toward the table. "Sit and eat this. Fried bacon and eggs won't kill you."

"You're adorable when you start commanding."

"I'll leave that part for you," I mutter, without overthinking.

He laughs, squeezing my hand.


	29. Chapter 29

After a long shopping trip, I take Riley home.

When I arrive back at Carlisle's place, I hear Kenna singing at the top of her lungs. The carols in the audio system are probably at the maximum and she's yelling over them.

I hope Carlisle is still sane.

They're decorating the tree.

Huh, I thought it was already decorated, but I guess my eyes were playing tricks.

Kenna's hanging a huge globe under Carl's supervision. I wink at him, gesturing for him to be quiet. I put my hands on Kenna's little waist and raise her, hugging her to my chest, blowing raspberries in her shoulders and neck.

She wriggles in my arms, giggling madly.

I swing her around until she's bridal style in my arms and I continue my assault on her tummy.

God, how I missed playing with my baby.

"Daddy! Can't breathe!" she whines between giggles.

"Can't I love you, honey? I missed you."

"I missed you, too." She grins at me, hugging me around the neck. "Do you like the tree? Daddy C took off the decorations so I can make it again."

I throw him an exasperated look.

"Don't worry, sugar. I'm used to this. We've been doing it the whole week." He laughs.

"What? Kenna, seriously! It's not nice what you did."

"But I like putting the balls on it."

"I know, sweetie. Usually, people decorate the tree once and it stays up until after New Year. Don't you remember our big tree?" I tap her nose.

She scowls. "I wasn't allowed to touch it."

"Because you tended to tug on the balls and smash them. Actually, you broke one of Jasper's favorite globes – that's when you were forbidden to go near the tree. Of course, it lasted one day or something like that…"

Eventually, I convince her to leave the tree alone until after New Year has passed. She runs off to play with her pet, while I help Carlisle prepare food for apparently a huge family reunion. While I was shopping, Emmett called to invite me for Christmas dinner at their place, but I told him we were having brunch at Carlisle's. Somehow, he and his family are joining us.

Carl starts laughing when I tell him the small gathering we had planned has turned into a bigger one.

"It gets better, sugar. I invited Tanya, too. I miss her so much." He gives me a small smile.

"Oh. Wow." I lean against the counter.

"You can call Bella. I'm sure you'd love to have her over."

"Is that okay with you? Do we have enough food and chairs?"

"I'll run to the store to buy a few more things. As for the chairs, we can always make them come with chairs. Actually, a request – come along with a chair." He jokes, making me bend over in laughter.

"That's a good plan."

He winks and pecks my cheek. "I'll run to the store. Be back in less than an hour," he promises, and jogs up the stairs.

I'm left preparing our lunch, but I don't mind.

When Carl returns, we eat lunch, and put Kenna down for a nap. Finally, we start working on baking cookies and marinating the turkey.

On Christmas Eve, we're still busy with cooking for our numerous guests, and Kenna doesn't seem to like not being the center of our attention. She's about to throw a tantrum from hell, when Carlisle offers to let her cut the cookies and put them in the tin. We don't even know we have a kid for the next few hours.

At night, we can't calm her until late. Carlisle tries the 'if you don't sleep, Santa won't come' trick, but it doesn't work.

"That's not true!" She stomps her foot. "I remember Daddy saying that, but when I woke in the morning, Santa hadn't come!"

I roll my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek. "I told you he couldn't spread all the presents during the night. Some come in the morning. They were there after you were washed and dressed, remember?" I whisper.

She pouts, but nods. And finally, she's tucked under her blanket, ready to sleep.

As we make our way to Carl's room, I groan. "So much for not sleeping over until much later."

"I don't mind," he assures me. "You have to tell me how you could let her wake up without presents under the tree!"

I sigh, sitting on the edge of his bed. I'm sore all over from working all day on cooking and cleaning the house.

"She was two and Jazz was really sick. Actually, that Christmas was the last he spent home. I fought tooth and nail to have him home with us. Anyway, we had stayed up talking, and woke up startled when Kenna appeared in our room crying that Santa forgot about her. We were horrified that neither of us remembered to put the presents under the tree after she went to bed. Jazz offered to help her in the bathroom while I quickly put everything in place."

I stop talking, because it's impossible to say another word without some embarrassing sound leaving my mouth. I'm crying openly and I don't give a shit.

"Sugar, I'm here." Carlisle sits next to me, wrapping me in his arms. "How long has it been since…you lost him?" he whispers, almost afraid to broach the subject.

"Two years in February," I choke out. I rub my chest, sniffing.

It hurts like a motherfucker.

I thought it would get better over the years, especially now that I have Carlisle. Apparently, the pain is still there.

"He died a day after Kenna's birthday. He insisted on being there. Fuck." I grip my hair, sobbing on Carlisle's chest.

He doesn't say anything, just rubs my back, shushing me and rocking us gently.

When I calm down minutely, Carlisle strokes my cheeks, brushing away my tears. "How about we put the presents under the tree, then come back here? I just want to hold you."

I give him a smile and nod. I'd love nothing more than to fall asleep in his arms again. Last night we'd been so tired, we simply crashed on different sides of the bed, not moving until it was time to wake up.

We put the presents downstairs separately. I'm really curious of what's in the big box with Kenna's name on it. I'm going to strangle Carlisle if it's some huge toy in there or who knows what else.

Back in his room, we strip down to boxers and snuggle under the blanket.

As he shifts, trying to find a better position, I keep thinking about that promise to myself about waiting. We've been back together for a week.

"Are you okay?" he checks, moving some hair out of my eyes.

I gulp and shift away from him. I really don't want to give him ideas, but my body doesn't seem to cooperate.

"Edward? I miss you too, sugar. And I respect your wish."

"That's the thing," I hiss, squeezing my eyes shut. "I can't keep my own wish to myself. I can't seem to be able to stay away from you." I'm so frustrated.

"Do you want to sleep separately?" he offers.

"I'll probably just follow you," I admit. "Seriously, Carlisle. Don't you see? I can't stay away. I have no willpower! I should be home right now, but here I am. I should be keeping away from any physical contact, and here I am, wanting nothing more than to undress us and… I love you."

He cups my cheeks and rolls so he's hovering over me. "I love you, too." Then he's kissing me.

_Goodbye, willpower._

Our kiss is frantic, and our hands are roaming the other's chest, getting reacquainted with how the skin feels under our fingertips.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle murmurs against my lips.

"As long as we don't go too far…"

"Anything, sugar." He sucks on my lower lip, his fingers tracing my nipples, driving me crazy. I grasp his back, moaning when he licks around my pebbled nipples.

My dick is hard, begging to be touched.

I'm afraid I'll lose all control if Carlisle goes anywhere near it. As if reading my mind and testing my strength, one of his hands cups me through my boxers. I buck up, throwing my head back, groaning loudly. Carl slides his hand inside my underwear and fuck, so good. I missed feeling his warm hand on my dick.

"So hard," he whispers, biting lightly on my nipple. "Mhmm, sugar, I've missed you."

"More, more, more," I pant out, pushing into his hand. "Please."

He strokes me slowly, but with a firm grip. My stomach muscles are quivering, and I know I'm moments away from spilling in my boxers. I want to reach over and help him.

None of my plans work, because the door of Carlisle's room opens with a loud creak, making us jump apart and pull the blanket up to our chins.

"Daddy? Do you think Santa knows we're here at Daddy C's place?"

"Christ," I wheeze, trying to calm my heart and throbbing cock. "Baby, go back to sleep. Santa finds us no matter where we are."

"Are you sure?" she asks skeptically. "Are you okay, Daddy C?" she frowns, coming closer. "You're breathing all funny. Like Daddy a few days ago."

I want to die.

"Makenna!" I groan loudly, making her stop in her tracks. "Please, go back to your room. Santa will find you."

She bites her lip. "Do you want alone time?" She cocks her head to the side. "What do you do in alone time?"

I feel the bed shaking right before Carlisle explodes in laughter.

Super. Just like that, the mood is all gone, but maybe it's for the best.

"Oh, angel. Come here." He pats the bed and she quickly complies. "During alone time, we…" Carl glances at me, trying not to laugh again. I'm curious of what he comes up with.

"You kiss and snuggle, but in a different way than you kiss and snuggle with me. Daddy Jay explained." She nods. "I'm sorry I didn't knock," she adds, looking at me.

Jazz used to explain so much shit to her…she was so young, and apparently she stowed the information away in her little brain.

"I need some water," I blurt out and quickly leave the room.

I wonder how far we'd have gone if she hadn't interrupted.

As I drink from my glass, I stare out the kitchen window at the snow falling. I really haven't enjoyed the small things since Jazz died. I know that soon, Kenna will get even more curious and we'll have to have a conversation with her about why her daddy has another man in his life when all her friend have parents of different genders. I'm actually dreading that moment.

At least I have Carlisle to help me.

This time, I can feel how different our relationship is. We're more involved.

Smiling contently, I make my way upstairs. I'm a few steps away from the bedroom when I step on something soft and warm.

I jump aside, letting out an odd sound as I dash for the hallway light.

Holy shit!

I hope he's still alive.

I crouch to inspect the guinea pig kind of laying on the ground on his stomach, not moving.

Fuck. Let it not be dead. Please, God. Kenna will hate me forever.

I poke it with my finger, earning a shrieking sound. Odd animal. At least, he's alive.

"You okay there, Edward?" Carl calls from his room.

"Yep. Be right there!" I shout, gulping loudly. With a trembling hand, I grab the rat in my right hand, then switch off the light and head into the room.

Kenna's snuggled into his side, almost asleep. She turns to me, and her eyes light up when she sees her pet.

"Squeaky! I couldn't find him earlier."

"He was taking a midnight stroll in the hallway, probably looking for you." I place the rat in her hands. He almost purrs, lying on her chest.

Ookay.

I guess he will stay.

How long can a guinea pig live?


	30. Chapter 30

In the morning, I wake up to someone tickling me.

I wave a hand about, hoping they'll stop.

I'm tired.

When I don't feel any person – big or small – next to me, and the tickling continues on my stomach, I wake up with my hair standing up.

I watch in horror as the guinea pig is exploring my body, going dangerously close to my dick.

"Get off me!" I shout, panicked.

He squeals and makes some other odd noises when I push him off me. Seriously. Way to give me a heart attack on Christmas morning.

Carlisle appears in the doorway, looking startled.

"What's wrong?"

"That thing!" I point to the rat. "He thought it was nice to take a walk on me and sniff my dick."

My eyes widen when I see the rat almost glaring at me, making other sounds that surely warn me to stay away. I jump out of the bed right before he dives to attack me. Thankfully, he gets a mouthful of bed sheet.

"Edward, honey, I think I should have bought you a book on how to act around a guinea pig. You can't do this."

"Carlisle, don't tell me what to do. I was almost bitten by that thing. Hmph! That's his was to thank me for saving him last night?"

"Sugar, you never liked him. Just try to be friends. You don't see him attacking me or Kenna."

"I hate it. It gives me the fucking creeps." I shudder, making my way to the bathroom.

"We're downstairs, waiting for you to open the presents!" Carlisle calls through the closed door.

"Be there!" I answer.

When I get downstairs, Kenna runs to me, raising her arms. I pick her up, kissing her soundly. "Merry Christmas, baby."

"Merry Christmas, Daddy!" she squeals, hugging me tightly around the neck, almost choking me up. "Look how many pressies Santa got me!" She points to the tree.

"Hey, no pointing. I told you he'd find you." I kiss her forehead, walking to the couch.

She runs to the tree and brings at least five presents to us. "Let's see."

She's adorable.

I see one of them has my name on it. Carlisle is busy unwrapping the big box for Kenna. I open my present and gasp at the contents – clothes. I haven't bought clothes for myself in too long. Carlisle got me a soft beige shirt and a green knitted vest.

When I hear Kenna shouting in surprise, I look up and I simply stare. That's absurd.

He got her a bike. A pink bicycle.

"Carlisle!" I groan, wanting to punch and hug him at the same time. I know how expensive these are.

"I bet you were extra good to get this," he plays along, not paying me any mind.

She beams at him as she climbs on the small bicycle. "Will you teach me?"

Now she's looking between us as if we won't do it. Silly kid.

"Of course, sweetie. I used to ride a bicycle in high school," I tell her.

"A pink one?"

I pull a face. "No. It was uh, normal? You know black? An adult bicycle."

"Good thing you know how to ride. I didn't think that far," Carlisle whispers to me.

I throw him a look, then coax my kid off the bike, distracting her with other presents. She's busy tearing through the dolls I got her, so I can have a moment with Carlisle.

I kiss him for his present. "Merry Christmas," I whisper, deepening the kiss.

His hand fists in my hair while his other hand goes to my hip, bringing me closer to him. "I'm glad you like it."

"Mine doesn't compare with yours," I mumble, pushing my badly wrapped present to him.

Before I can see his reaction to the tickets I got him, and the framed photo of the three of us, Kenna summons me to the floor to help her open another present.

I'm busy with the plastic around the coloring book, so I don't hear Carl moving off the couch. When he hugs me, I jump, startled, and glance back at him. There are tears in his eyes.

I know he's happy, but all I can think about is a week ago when he was crying and begging me to give him another chance.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, sugar." He cups my cheek and kisses me, pouring everything he feels into the kiss. "Swan Lake is one of my favorites."

I grin, kissing his cheek. "Good thing I got it right."

"No kissy now!" Kenna demands, coming to sit between us on the floor."Pressy time!"

I snort and hug her with one arm, kissing her head. I finish unwrapping her book, then she disappears to grab her crayons.

"There's this, too," Carl says almost shyly. He offers me a voucher to one of the most known garages in Chicago.

"Jake will kill you!" I exclaim, laughing.

"Well, what Jake doesn't know…won't kill me." He laughs along. "Felix and his boyfriend work there. They're very good with cars. I know how much that car means to you, and that's why I want you to repair it."

"Thank you, honey."

With difficulty, we make Kenna clear the wrapping paper, while we start setting the table, after moving around the couch and coffee table.

The first to appear at the door are Bella and Jake. Thankfully, Jake offers to keep an eye on Kenna while Bella helps us set the table. She starts working on some vegetables to go with the turkey we worked on for two days. I hope it turns out okay.

"DADDY!"

I put the folded napkin near the last plate and turn to the stairs, where I see Kenna stomping down with Jake in tow.

"DADDY!" She stomps her foot to the floor, her little hands on her hips.

"I heard you the first time. It's not nice to yell," I tell her quietly.

"Argh!"

I try to hide my amusement. "What's wrong, angel? Weren't you supposed to get dressed?"

"I want my green dress!" she demands.

"There's no green dress in there," Jake explains.

Yeah, I know. The dress she wants is home, stowed away because I might have tried to bleach a chocolate stain off it and ruined it.

I'm curious what made her think of it.

"It's not here. I don't even know where it is," I lie.

"But I want that one!" She stomps her foot again. "We're going home to search it!"

"Kenna, don't you like the white dress Santa got you?" I ask, speaking of the dress Bella and Jake brought. She should have been wearing that.

"It's really nice, but I want to be like you and Daddy C!"

I bite my cheek. "Sweetie, we're not wearing dresses."

"You—" She points to me. "—have a green sweater."

"It's a vest – a present from Santa," I hint, hoping she'll wear the white dress.

It doesn't steer her from what she wants.

"Daddy C has green shirt! I want green dress! Now!"

"God help me," I mutter, looking toward the ceiling. "Kenna, our last guests should be here any minute. It's not nice to greet them in our undies."

"I want the green dress!" she yells, huge tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What are you doing, Edward?" Carlisle appears in the room, going to hug Kenna.

Oh, perfect. Coddle her. Blame me. Awesome.

"I can run to your apartment," Bella offers.

"There's no green dress. It's ruined!" I hiss to her, but too loud, because Kenna hears me.

"You destroyed my green dress!" she wails, turning to hug Carlisle and cry. Her whole frame is shaking as loud hiccups leave her small body.

Fuck.

"Baby…" I advance to her, but stop when Carlisle shakes his head.

"Let me," he mouths to me, picks her up, and goes up the stairs.

And I feel like a failure.

"How could you? What the heck did you do to her dress?" Bella groans. "I told you to call me if you don't know what to do with stained clothes."

"Jesus, Bella. It happened last year. I doubt it still fits her! Do you think she hates me?" I ask, worried. "I better go check on her."

"No! She'll say hurtful words that she doesn't mean. Let Carlisle calm her, then you talk to her. And really? Screaming back at her? Are you a toddler, too?"

"I think he's too charged if you know what I mean." Jake waggles his brows.

"Fuck you," I snap just as the doorbell rings. "Perfect timing."

I stride to the door and snatch it open, plastering a huge smile on my face. Rose is the first I see. She has her elbow hooked with Riley's, and Emmett is behind them, carrying Dave, who is clutching to some toy car.

"Hello, Edward! We aren't too early, are we?" Rose checks, coming in and kissing my cheek.

"Hi. No, perfect timing," I mumble, shaking Riley's hand, then Emmett's.

There's a high pitched scream from upstairs, and I know that not even Carlisle can change her mind.

He appears at the top of the stairs, stopping momentarily when he realizes our guests arrived, and descends. I can clearly see him limping.

"What the fuck has she done?" I demand.

"You know how kids are when they don't get their way," he defends her.

"No. She knows it's not okay to hit others. Excuse me," I mutter to our shocked guests, and turn to the stairs. A fist tugging me back stops me.

"Allow me, before you have a huge fight that will end in even more tears," Bella grinds out. " _Men_."

I stare after her, shaking my head, before facing our guests. "Sorry, we have a little problem, but I'm hoping everything will be okay."

"Oh? What happened?" Rose asks, concerned.

"Kenna wants her green dress, which I happened to destroy by using bleach. Besides, I'm sure it doesn't even fit her anymore." I sigh. "Did she hurt you?" I ask Carl.

"I'll survive. I'm a pediatrician, have you forgotten? I get kicked all the time."

"Not by your own kid! That's not acceptable!" I hiss, only realizing what I said after the words left my mouth.

There's a tense silence for a few minutes, until Riley cracks a lame joke about the hosts not having any manners.

Jake helps everyone to the table, telling them they should have brought chairs along, while I take Carlisle to the kitchen.

"I meant what I said," I whisper, trying to swallow but my mouth is dry.

"I feel the same, sugar. You know I love Kenna as if she was my own."

"I'm truly sorry she hit you. I'll have her apologize."

"Don't worry."

"No, Carl. It's not okay to hit people!" I snap. "Uh…" I crack a smile. "You know what I mean."

He starts laughing and backs me into the counter, attacking me.

"We can see you all the way in here!" I hear Emmett shouting. "Keep the PDA to a minimum when you have guests!"

I turn red and push Carlisle away, straightening my vest. He pecks my lips before grabbing appetizers. We carry them to the table, just as Bella comes down with a sheepish Kenna behind her legs.

She comes straight to me and hugs my leg, mumbling something I can't actually make out. Then she goes to Carlisle and does the same.

"Of course, you're forgiven, sweetie." He picks her up. "We don't hate you. We can't hate you." He catches my eye.

I put the plate in my hand on the table and join them, taking my girl from him. "I forgive you, but don't let it happen again. No more hissy fits."

She giggles and kisses my cheek. "I love you, Daddy."

"Yeah, I love you too for some unknown reason."

Our Christmas brunch reunion turns out pretty amazing, and we soon forget the rocky start of the day.


	31. Chapter 31

I'm taking Kenna to her first music class, because Carl insists I should do it since I am her father. He can be her father, too. Actually, in just a week he will become her father legally. After much debating, we decided on this – he approached the subject and I agreed after thinking about it.

We love each other.

We're serious.

Kenna deserves two parents.

"I'm nervous, Daddy," my baby mumbles, clutching to my hand.

"Don't worry. We're meeting Miss Alice here. You're gonna love it. You like singing."

She bites her lip, hiding behind my leg when the door opens and a woman in her early twenties appears. She's vaguely familiar, but I bet I saw her at Kenna's school.

"Hello! You must be Makenna. My name is Alice. And you must be her daddy." The woman grins up at me. Her eyes widen slightly, and I suddenly know where I saw her. At the party. She was the Sub I had to greet.

"Hi," I squeak out. I'm not sure about leaving my little girl here, though it's kind of hypocritical of me.

Is this some kind of karma going on?

Just last night, after two months of being back together, I went with Carl back to the Playroom, but it was more of a pleasure and getting reacquainted with the items session.

I can't say I didn't miss being tied to his bed and brought to the edge, only to not be allowed release. I missed it so much, that when he finally allowed me to cum, I nearly passed out.

I feel so relaxed and free now.

"We need to discuss what classes she'll attend." Alice's voice brings me back to present.

"Well, her teacher didn't really specify anything. She just told me she'll talk to you and then…here we are." I shrug one shoulder, keeping my hand on Kenna's back. "She does like to sing."

"Does she play any instruments?" Alice asks. "Please, take a seat." She gestures to a desk with chairs next to it.

"Uh, Kenna hasn't tried any instrument, so I can't tell you. Maybe you'll discover that as her teacher?"

She smiles, reminding me of our first meeting. "Then it's settled what we're doing today. Classes usually last one or two hours."

I nod. "Yes, I read the brochure. Kenna will attend the music class after she finishes with kindergarten classes," I explain. "I will pick her up, or my friend. It depends."

"You have to leave me telephone numbers so I know who to call in case you don't make it," Alice says, taking a small notebook from one of her desk drawers. She pushes it to me with a pen.

I scribble my name and number, along with Bella's and Carlisle's.

A few minutes later, I get up, ready to go, but Kenna doesn't seem to want to let me go.

"I won't go too far," I promise. "I'll be at the coffee shop across the road. I'm not going back to work at this hour," I explain.

She nods and hugs me. "What if I suck?"

I crouch to her level and push the hair away from her eyes. "We won't know that unless you try."

Alice leads the way to a classroom full of children, opens the door, and Kenna steps in after throwing me one of her killer smiles.

"One more question," Alice says quietly, letting the door close, leaving us alone in the empty hallway.

"Yeah?" I stick my hands in my pockets.

"Is anyone in the family musically gifted? Not really a musician, but I don't know... singing or playing for personal pleasure?"

"Kenna was adopted, so uh…I wouldn't know."

"She can pick up from the adopted parents," Alice tells me.

"Well…" I gulp thickly. "My…husband…" I take a huge breath of air. _Will it ever get easier to talk about him?_ "He used to play the guitar. I took piano lessons when I was like her, but didn't like it very much."

"Oh, I see." She nods. "Does your husband still have the guitar?"

I'm too shocked to speak.

She's the first person I've met that took my words like something normal, without judging or looking funny.

"Uh, he died a couple years ago. I still have the guitar," I add.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," she murmurs, touching my arm. "Mr. Masen, I know it may sound weird, but do you remember—?"

"Yes." I nod. "We met at the party."

Alice sighs in what looks like relief, then starts giggling. "What a small world! I never met anyone from there outside… You know what I mean?"

I snort. "I bet it's odd. I know it is for me."

"Well, I have to go teach the children some music. See you in a few hours!" She opens the door and slides inside.

I make my way to the coffee shop across the road as promised.

I'm halfway through my macchiato and my waiting, when my phone buzzes on the table.

"Hi, Carl!" I answer cheerfully.

"At least you sound happy," he mumbles.

"What's wrong?" I ask worried.

"Can we cancel our plans for tonight? I know I promised dinner out with you two, but…I'd rather be alone."

"What happened?" I have a feeling something happened at the hospital. He's told me how he gets when something happens with one of his patients.

"Sugar, just not tonight, okay? I'll make it up to the two of you. I promise."

"Carlisle, don't close up," I whisper.

"I just need to be alone. I lost a patient." His voice breaks and my heart twists. "It's even harder if it's possible, but now that I have Kenna around…"

"Carlisle, I can't leave you alone when you sound like that. We're coming."

"No. I'm not fun when I'm like this," he begs me.

"Relationships are based on support and trust. I'll always be there, baby."

He doesn't answer, but I can hear his ragged breath on the other end.

"Are you home?" I whisper.

"Yes. Let yourself in." He hangs up, but I can hear a loud sob before the dial tone comes.

I take another gulp of my coffee, then take the cup to the trash bin before I run to the school.

Luck is on my side, because Alice's class is just letting out. I grab Kenna's hand and pull her down the hall.

"Why hurry? Miss Alice wants to talk to you."

I glance behind. "I can't talk now!" I shout to her before scooping Kenna up and running to the car. "Sweetie, we're not going out tonight." I close the door behind her and slide behind the wheel. "Remember how we talked about Daddy C's job?"

"He works with children."

"Yes. Sick children. He is upset right now, because…one of his patients…" I can't tell her shit like that. "We should be extra good, okay? Let me talk to him, while you are good and do what I say, okay?"

She nods, biting her lip.

Great. I've managed to worry her.

When we reach his house, I take Kenna's hand and walk inside, unsure what I'm going to find.

"Go upstairs," I whisper, closing the front door and locking up. I toe my shoes off and start looking for my boyfriend.

The house is empty.

Just as I'm about to call him, I realize I haven't looked in one place – the basement. His cellar.

I hope he's not drinking.

As I take the stairs to the basement, I'm shocked to see the light on in the Playroom, not the cellar.

"Carlisle?" I call, poking my head inside.

He's on the bed, holding a bottle of wine in his hands.

"You came," he says in disbelief.

"I told you I would! Give me that. No drinking." I grab the bottle and put it away, before I crawl next to him and hug him. "What happened?"

"They brought her in with fever, but she got another viral bug from some other child. The nurse that put them next to each other is guilty. I was treating this little girl for fever, then an hour later she was coughing and throwing up…I don't know how it happened. It was so quick," he mumbles, burrowing his face into my shoulder. "I'm grateful you insisted on coming."

I rub his back, hoping to make him feel better. I know nothing helps in such situations.

After what feels like hours pass, I shift, stretching my legs, but Carlisle only hugs me tighter, finally falling asleep in my arms.

"I'm going to check on Kenna and heat up some dinner," I whisper, hoping he hears me.

I find my baby in the living room, watching cartoons. She looks at me worried when I approach her.

"Is Daddy C okay?"

"He will be, sweetie. It's hard for a doctor to lose a patient," I explain, sitting next to her.

"The frog doc didn't cry when Daddy Jay died."

"Because he was a bastard," I mutter. "Are you hungry?" I ask, trying not to think of Jasper.

In just a week, I'll face my demons, with her birthday coming up and implicitly his death day.

"What food do we have?" she wonders, switching off the TV.

"Let's see." I take her hand and lead her to the kitchen. After inspecting the leftovers, Kenna decides she wants fries. Typical.

"Okay," I agree, because I feel like fries too, and we haven't had them in a while.

I'm on the last round of frying slices of potatoes, and Kenna's already eating the first round, when Carlisle appears from the basement. He looks sleepy, and his eyes are puffy and red. He gives Kenna a small smile and a kiss on the head, before he strides to me and hugs me tightly, tensing up.

Shit. He's going to cry again.

I don't know what to do with him when he's like this.

"Shh, Carl. I understand why it affected you," I murmur, kissing his cheek. "But please, try to calm down. Kenna's worried."

I know he thought of how that little girl could have been Kenna. I don't even want to think of that.

"Here, have some fries," I offer him the plate. "Do you want cheese or ketchup?"

"Salt," he chokes out, going to the table.

When I turn to the table with the salt, I find Kenna in his lap, hugging him and whispering in his ear. He feels much better, because I can see a real smile forming on his lips.


	32. Chapter 32

"What did you get her last year?" Carlisle wonders, running his fingers over my ribs.

"A stuffed penguin backpack with sweets since she whined about it, along with a new pair of jeans," I answer, kissing along his jaw.

He presses his lips tightly. "She deserves so much more."

"Well, you'll give her a special present this year. I hope all the paperwork is finished by the end of the week," I whisper, running my hand through his hair.

He grins and captures my lips in a deep kiss.

Ever since we made love for the first time, at the beginning of January, Carlisle seems reluctant to try anything else. Except for last week's Playroom visit, which I wouldn't call a session. Besides having my hands cuffed to the headboard and a feather running down my body…we still ended up making love.

Not that I mind all this cuddling and slow dancing, but I need more. I miss having him pound me into the mattress, or take me so hard I feel him for hours after.

We're hoping the adoption will be finalized by Kenna's birthday, which is in two days. Slim chance, but the money Carl has offered them should do something.

I still frown at how he throws money around, but I guess he has no idea what it is to be poor. He might be getting the gist of it since we're at my little studio.

Kenna was kidnapped by Rose after school, and I was promised I'll have her back safe tomorrow.

Carlisle suddenly shifts on the small bed, turning to the side. I'm not quick enough to say no or to catch him, because with a surprised yelp, he ends up sprawled on the floor.

I burst into laughter, extending my hand.

"You wanted to come to my place."

"When the lease is up, you're moving in with me!" he mutters. "No arguments."

He grabs my hand harshly, but instead of leveraging on it, he tugs me down—our heads knock together, and my knee lands dangerously close to his dick.

"What are you doing?" I complain as I rub my elbow and knee. My floor doesn't have soft carpets like his.

"It's only fair, since I'm here… Why would you be there on the bed, all comfy?" he teases me, kissing a spot behind my ear.

I shiver, pressing my lips to his, kissing him hungrily. We haven't really been alone since we made up. There's no Kenna to worry about—will she wake, will she burst in our room? Nothing. Just us.

I crawl down his body, playing with the zipper of his jeans, pulling it down then up again, shooting him a mischievous smirk. When I finally decide to stop teasing, there's a knock on the door.

Carlisle groans loudly, probably reaching his limit of teasing.

I kiss his lips quickly, then sprint to the door, cracking it open, shielding my body and my obvious erection.

"Hi! Is it a bad time?" Derek, my neighbor, asks worried.

"Hi." I shake my head, trying to calm my body. "What do you need?"

"I heard you were home, or I wouldn't have…" He trails off. "I need to talk to you abo…" His eyes widen and focus on something behind me.

"Come on in." I open the door wide, jerking my head.

Hesitantly, he steps in and I close the door. "Don't worry. We're just having some Kenna-free time," I joke.

Derek looks upset. "I'm sorry for disturbing you." His eyes move fleetingly to Carlisle, who's now in the kitchen doorway, munching on a chocolate bar. He gestures for Derek to talk, shrugging. "Yeah. Uh, hi."

"Hello." Carlisle smiles broadly, pushing off the doorframe and coming closer. He drapes his arm over my shoulder, kissing the side of my head. "You're Kenna's promised future husband."

I snort, elbowing him in the ribs.

"What, sugar? That's what she calls him."

I shake my head, turning to look at an amused Derek. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Kenna."

"See? Now he came to ask for her hand in marriage." Carlisle doubles over.

I scowl at him. "What about her?"

"Well, not Kenna, but uh, a kid." Derek gulps, scratching his head. "We want a child, too. I want to know what we need to do and how we should proceed."

"You've talked with your boyfriend?"

"Yes, Edward. It was his idea and he thought I'd say no. Then I reminded him of my adorable neighbor and all our tea parties." Derek grins.

I gesture to the kitchen. "Let's sit down and discuss this."

Carlisle offers to make coffee. All he finds is tea, so tea it is.

"So?" Derek pushes. "Do we have to be…married?"

I shake my head. "No, you just need to prove that you have a strong relationship, that you love children, and that you have enough money to support the child. What are you thinking of adopting?"

"It doesn't matter." He shrugs.

"No, I mean…a baby or a toddler, one like Kenna?"

Derek's black eyes are suddenly full of questions.

Carlisle puts three mugs of tea on the table, pulling a chair next to me and sitting down.

"Thanks, honey." I return my eyes to Derek. "Well, Jasper was the one that thought a baby would be better, because we'd raise him the way we wanted. Of course, neither of us thought of how complicated it was to take care of a small baby." I shake my head, scratching my jaw. "First, you need to go over a lot of paperwork and have answers prepared for the social worker that will question you."

"Money is a great issue," Carlisle adds.

Derek looks down in his mug of tea. "Fuck."

"You work, right?" I ask.

"Yeah…at the supermarket. I restock the shelves."

I bet that doesn't pay enough. I feel for him.

"And your partner?" Carlisle wonders.

"Spence just got out of the Police Academy. He's more like their Labrador. They don't pay him enough."

"My suggestion," Carl murmurs. "You should wait until you both have stable, good jobs. Spence can climb the career ladder."

"Didn't you finish the Academy, too?" I frown. I remember he said they met in school.

"I'm one year behind him. Actually, he is ahead because he's super smart." He laughs. "Anyway, thanks for…this."

"Derek, if you have more questions, you have my number. I feel I have to tell you it's not a walk in the park to take care of a child. And you do need to prove that you have enough money to fend for yourselves and the baby."

He nods and gets up. "Thanks. I mean it."

I pat his shoulder. "It will be different than having a small tea party. You'll have full-time tea parties," I say amused.

"Spence is thinking of a boy. We'll see." He shrugs.

"Call, okay?" I insist. I know what a bitch it is to adopt.

After closing the door behind Derek, Carlisle slumps on the bed with his cup of tea. "I never thought of having children, though I work with them."

I sit next to him, tucking myself into his side. He hugs me close.

I love feeling his warmth, being so close.

I missed this.

"We didn't think of having kids, either," I whisper. "Actually, it's really funny how we got to adopt Kenna."

"Oh, tell me. I never asked. Actually, I never thought of it."

I give him an amused look. "We were twenty two, I think. Barely out of college. Definitely not parent material."

Carl shrugs, peering down at me.

"Well, you have to promise not to laugh, because I know I almost pissed myself at the time…" He inclines his head, showing me he's paying attention. "Jazz kept whining about adopting a puppy. We both loved dogs, and he got a flyer on the street and…yeah, he kept bugging me. I caved."

"Puppies?" He chuckles.

"Shh!" I laugh, shaking my head. "Jazz copied the address and we drove there on a Saturday. I kept asking if he was sure about the place, because on the outside it didn't look like a shelter for animals, and it had a board that definitely had the world children written on it. He kept insisting that this was the place. I shrugged and went along with it. Only, when we stepped inside and went to the reception to ask for a puppy, the lady there gave us a look between amused and infuriated. She explained it was a wing of the hospital where people could adopt babies—human babies."

"Human babies?"

I nod. "Yes, she thought we were stupid or something. Jasper didn't relent, not even when we saw a couple coming out from a side door with a little baby. He even showed the woman the printed page. The catch?" I ask, snickering. "There was another letter in the street's name. I don't remember the name now…but it was missing an E, I think."

Carlisle's laughing so hard, he has to put away the cup of tea. "So instead of adopting a puppy, you went for a baby? What did you call it? Human baby?"

"No." I laugh through my nose. "We went home. A week or so passed before Jazz brought up the subject. I thought he was joking in the beginning. When I realized he was serious, I talked with Tanya about formalities…if she knew. She put me in contact with a friend of hers. Jared." I scratch my head. I think that was his name. "Anyway, we met a dozen times with this guy, going over a ton of papers and questions. He, along with social workers, visited our little house to see if it was child safe and yadda yadda."

"Did you even know what you were adopting?"

"No. And when Jared asked, we looked at each other and raised our shoulders, almost making him have an aneurism. We promised to think about it, and reassured him we were positive about adopting." I sigh, wetting my lower lip. "Next time we visited the adoption center, we took a tour. While I was looking for children around Kenna's age, Jazz stopped near the newborns. I guess it was love at first sight. She was the only one in the bed, sleeping peacefully on her stomach. I tried to talk reason into him, but he would have none of it. We were guided inside the room, and when I saw him with the baby, I knew she was the one. We were told her teenage mom gave her up without even looking at her or wanting to hear what it was."

"That's sad, but you know, it's for the best," Carlisle murmurs. "There's no need for the young moms to get attached to the baby when they don't want it and they can't afford it. I've seen it so many times…"

"Yes, I'm sure, but still…it made me so angry to hear. In less than a month after our decision, we had adopted Kenna and she was living with us."

"Can I ask you how you came up with the name? It's a rather uncommon one."

"Jasper's grandma's name was Makenna. She raised him—his parents owned a business and were rarely around. Her middle name is Elizabeth, after my mom, though we never called her that."

"I had no idea…"

I wave my hand dismissively. "No one calls her that, and she doesn't like it. So it's a moot point."

"You never speak of your parents," Carlisle says, tracing my hand with a finger.

"I don't speak of them." I swallow hard. I realize it's hard to open up to someone. With Jazz it was easy, because he knew my past, having been there for me through it all. "Maybe another time?" I squeeze his hand.

He nods in understanding and cups my cheek, turning my head to him. As we kiss, I turn to straddle him, wrapping my fingers in his hair, grinding against his growing erection.

I really hope nothing will interrupt us now.

"I want you," I whisper against his lips.

"Oh, I want you, too, sugar." His fingers go under my shirt and find my nipples, making my head fall back as I bask in the wonderful sensation.

I fumble with his pants as he's pushing my shirt up, leaning forward to lick and nip at my nipples.

I need the clothes off.

Between kissing, caresses, and a lot of grinding, we manage to undress.

"Do you have anything?" Carlisle asks, kneading my ass, making that knot in my stomach so tight and my dick harden so much it is almost painful.

"Hand cream?" I cock my head to the side.

"It will do." He grins, and I reach over on the small table near the bed for the cream.

He makes to turn me, but I shake my head, smirking. "I'm on top. I bet you can prep me from this position."

Carl grins, uncapping the round bottle and getting some white cream on his fingers before bringing them to my ass.

Oh, God.

I squeeze his shoulders, kissing up and down his neck as his fingers work their magic. My chest is against his to give him better access to my ass—this position makes our dicks rub together every time I shift. All too soon, Carlisle's pushing up until I can't take it anymore.

"Either get inside or I'm trying my hand at frotting," I mutter in his ear, making him suck in a breath.

"As much as I'd like to experience that again with you, I'd rather be inside."

"Then just fuck me," I whine, shifting a little to give me a better angle to guide him inside me. I also give him a few strokes. His eyes roll back in pleasure.

"AH!" I groan as I'm sinking on his pole. Fuck, so good.

Carlisle's hands are on my waist, just staying there until I'm all the way down.

"This isn't going to be slow, huh?" he murmurs.

"No." I shake my head. "I do love it when we make love, but Carl, I need this. Like before—hard, rough. I want to feel you there hours after we're done."

He moans and bucks his hips, bringing my head down to kiss me.

"I won't be able to do it right from this position."

"I want to be on top, then we can change," I promise.

It's not often that I want to guide us, but fuck, I'm afraid he'll go all slow once again if I leave him in control. This way, if I start hard and fast, he might continue like that.

Carl keeps his hands on my waist as I move up and down, just how I need. The sound of him entering my body is a huge turn on, and to feel him so deep… God, I can't get enough. I love riding him, rotating my hips, grinding back and forth when he's balls deep.

Until he steals my fun and wraps my legs around his waist, holding me tightly, close to his chest, and stands up. I cling to him, worried he'll drop me. I'm not that light, seriously.

He turns around, but before putting me back on the bed, he thrusts his hips up, making me bounce. Whoa. That feels so good. Then he lowers me on the bed, my legs going around his neck as he starts fucking me in earnest—just how I wanted.

"Yes!" I shout, grabbing his arms. "Yes, like that!"

One of his arms is next to my head keeping his balance, the other is on my dick, rubbing furiously, matching his pace.

"Is this what you wanted?" he grunts out, a few drops of sweat rolling down his temple.

"Yeesss!" I moan when he nails my prostate three times in a row before slowing a little.

"Oh, I've missed it too, but I thought making love would be better," he admits.

"Carlisle, I'm not saying I want this 24/7. But don't you need it sometimes?" I run my hand through his hair.

"For that we have the Playroom." He smirks, making my back arch.

"Stop teasing me, just finish what you started," I beg him, bucking my hips, hoping he'll move faster again.

"Brace yourself, sugar." He folds my legs against my chest, then plows so deep I shout at the unexpected feeling. "You okay?"

"Don't stop!" I shout. "Keep going. Feels so fucking good."

Smiling broadly, Carlisle starts fucking me so hard, I move a few inches up on the bed. He doesn't seem to care anymore—driven by that primal instinct to find completion. I just claw at his back, moaning so loudly I bet the whole building knows I'm getting some. My cock is squished between my thighs and stomach, getting enough friction with every push and pull.

As Carlisle's breath grows harsher, I know he's getting closer. When he explodes inside me, I squeeze one of my hands between my legs and grip my dick, giving it a few pumps before I'm done.

I can't move.

I can't feel my limbs.

"Damn, we need to do that more often," I hear him saying from where he fell next to me.

Chuckling, I turn my head to grin at him. "We've got to thank Rose for stealing Kenna."

"We'll buy her ice cream. Pregnant women like ice cream, right?"


	33. Chapter 33

The next day, we part ways outside my building.

"I'll call you if we come by," I whisper, hugging him tightly.

"Don't give her too many details. I still want it to be a surprise," Carlisle says softly.

"I'm just preparing her, although I bet she'd love to have you as her dad legally."

He grins, kissing my cheek. "I really have to go." He groans when his phone blares again in his pocket. It's been ringing for the better part of the past half an hour. "Take care, and I love you."

I beam at him. "I love you, too."

Another kiss, before I close the door of his car and wave goodbye.

At work, I'm so busy I jump out of my skin when my phone interrupts the quiet in the room—except the soft music in the background I haven't been paying attention to.

I fumble with my phone, throwing Kate a glare when she giggles at me.

"Hello?" I answer, putting away the stack of papers in front of me. I've been searching for a client's file for the better part of the past two hours. His file has been misplaced.

I'm going crazy here.

"Mr. Masen?" a woman's voice asks in a rather stiff tone.

"Speaking." Who could it be?

"This is Mrs. Betty Williams speaking. Your daughter's teacher."

Right. "Is Kenna alright?" I ask worried.

"Yes, but you need to come collect her. I will explain what happened when you get here. Such behavior is unacceptable from an almost five year old!" she states loudly.

"Uh, what has she done?" I wonder, getting up and grabbing my jacket. "It's Kenna," I mouth to Kate, pointing to my phone before leaving the bank.

"As I said, I will explain everything—"

"I'll be there in half an hour, depending on traffic," I cut her off. My heart's in my mouth.

What has she done?

I bet it is a misunderstanding. My baby would never cause trouble.

When I arrive at the school, I'm surprised to find two other moms in Mrs. Williams' office.

"Daddy!" Kenna rushes to me, hugging my thigh, looking up at me with a tear-stained face and puffy red eyes.

 _What have they done to her?_ I think angrily, picking her up. She clings to me, starting to cry in my shoulder.

"What happened here?" I demand.

"You're setting a very bad example!" one of the women snaps at me, making my eyes widen in shock.

"Excuse me?"

"Your daughter started kicking my son! He has bruises!"

"Kenna, is that true?" I ask, peering at her.

She sniffs. "He said bad stuff about you and Daddy C. He asked me who I call mommy."

Fuck! I dodged that question the last time she asked.

And Christ, kids can be mean. Just like their parents.

I rub her back soothingly. "It isn't okay to kick people, Kenna. Not even if they insult you and the ones you love," I whisper to her, but keep my eyes on the women in front of me. "It's none of their business what happens at home."

"What kind of example are you setting for her?" her teacher asks, narrowing her eyes. "You're simply confusing the child!"

"With all due respect, ma'am, but I'm sure my daughter understands my relationship more than any of you ladies." _Combined_. "My husband and I brought her up that way—to know that our relationship was special, and that usually men or women make couples. She knows it all, trust me. She's been through much more than you've probably been in your life. She lost her daddy, but now that I found someone new, she has opened up to him and accepted him."

They stare at me, annoyed, but at a loss of words.

"So don't blame Kenna for taking her daddy's side when one of your children is mocking her, knowing only your homophobic ways. If this happens again, I'm afraid I'll have to withdraw her from this school." I rearrange my baby in my arms, expecting someone to say something.

I can easily leave, banging the door to the wall and making a scene, but I truly hope at least Kenna's teacher has enough sense to apologize.

"Mr. Masen," Mrs. Williams finally talks. "I will discuss this with Mrs. Connors and Ms. Brown. There will be no need to take your daughter away from a good education. This school is one of the best in Chicago. I'm sure you'd like your daughter to have a great future. Especially now that I hear she loves her music classes." She puts a huge, fake smile on her face.

I guess she ate bullshit for breakfast because she just fed me a helping of it…and I ate it. I know she's right about this being one of the top five kindergartens in Chicago, and I know how much Kenna loves her music classes. And Alice. She speaks of Alice constantly.

"Alright." I nod. "Don't let it happen again. I won't be a spectator to others who are hurting my child, when they really want to hurt _me_." Saying that, I turn on my heel and head to the lockers, grabbing Kenna's jacket and backpack before I leave the school.

We drive back to the bank, since I still have a couple more hours to work.

"Tell me exactly what happened," I tell her quietly as we stop at a red light.

"Well..." That's promising.

"Did he just come to you and dump the question?" I prompt her.

"No." She shakes her head.

"Kenna," I groan, glancing at her through the rearview mirror. "What did they do, sweetie?"

"They were talking about what their mommies baked for them." I nod to show her I'm paying attention. "Then, Billy turned to me asked who my mommy was."

I grip the steering wheel tightly as I park near the bank, then jump out and crouch near the backseat, pulling her closer. "And that's why you hit him?"

"No. He said mean stuff about you and Daddy C." She sniffs, hugging me tightly. "He said I couldn't call you both daddy, and kept asking who I call mommy. Then Jack said you were definitely mommy because you picked me up like their mommies."

I squeeze my eyes and take a huge breath, trying to stay calm.

"Then you kicked them?" I wonder, brushing my fingers through her hair.

"I tried to ignore them, Daddy, but they came over to me and kept asking and being all mean. I told them you are my Daddy and your new boyfriend is Daddy C—like your husband was Daddy Jay. That made them laugh. Isn't it true?"

I gulp thickly. "Of course, it's true, baby. They just don't know any better, because their parents think my relationship with Daddy C isn't okay. We don't care about that." I kiss her forehead. "You'll just have to ignore them from now on. No fighting."

"Not even when they call my parents bad names?"

 _My parents_ —that sounds wonderful. It reminds me of a conversation we need to have.

"What bad names?" I frown, helping her out of the car, before kicking the door closed.

"I don't know what it means." Kenna shrugs, looking cute. "But I know it's bad."

"Just say it, baby." I'm preparing for some curse word.

"They called you fag and puck-something."

I feel all my blood draining from my face and my legs start shaking.

_Seriously? They talk around their kids like that?_

Where else could her classmates have heard it?

"Does it mean something bad?" She takes my hand, looking up at me.

"Something like that. Please, don't hit them again. When you come home, just tell me or Daddy C, alright?"

She nods. It's settled.

I have some parents to murder.

We head inside the bank, and I wave Kate off. I'm too angry to talk right now.

I make sure to install Kenna on Steve's desk since he called in sick today. I find a suitable game for her on the computer, then walk to my desk and slump in my chair.

Kate gives me a raised eyebrow, but before she can start pestering me, a customer walks up to her window.

I continue where I left off—searching for that blasted file, but my mind is on what happened at school.

I guess it's a good thing I already planned on telling her about Carlisle's intention to adopt her. She'll be super happy.

Let's hope the kids won't be mean again when she talks about this at school. I know children are mean, but this is ridiculous.

By the time we leave, I've calmed down enough and formed a plan on how I'm going to broach the subject to her.

When we arrive home, I heat some leftovers and put the plates on the table. Kenna arrives in the kitchen promptly, probably smelling the food.

"Did you wash your hands?" I ask, frowning at her inside-out shirt. "Did you wear it like that the whole day? Raise your arms, baby."

"No, I put it on now…"

I stop mid-undressing her. "You changed your clothes alone? Aw. You're growing up, baby."

"That's right, Daddy. I'll be five soonish."

I laugh and ruffle her hair after putting her shirt correctly.

"Speaking of your birthday…"

"Yes?" She climbs on her chair, looking at me curiously.

"What do you want the most? And you didn't answer me about your hands."

"I washed them," she mumbles.

Good.

"Any particular wish?" I insist.

"Don't be mad, but I really, really like it when we stay at Daddy C's."

"You'd like to spend more time there? Sleepovers? Like that week when I was very busy at work?" I ask, sipping from my soup.

Kenna shakes her head wildly. "No, no, Daddy! Not without you. Can we stay there? Always?"

I smirk, but cover it with my spoonful of soup. "That's great, sweetie. I wanted to do just that once the lease was up."

She frowns at me, not understanding.

I laugh. "I talked with Carl about us moving in with him. He suggested it, actually."

She nods, gulping from her bowl. "What's a lease?"

"The rent for our apartment. The money we give Mrs. Harrison."

"Oh." She nods, beaming at me. "When do we move in with Daddy C? I need to pack my toys."

"We can start packing and bringing stuff there. When the month ends, we'll be living with Daddy C." I wink.

"That's too far." Kenna pouts.

"It is," I agree.

When we get ready for bed later that night, Kenna keeps tossing and turning, until she turns to me. I hug her to my chest, kissing her head.

"Sleep, baby."

"I can't."

"Why's that?" What problems can she have to keep her up?

"Well, I have questions."

"Can't they wait until tomorrow?" I yawn, fluffing my pillow.

"What do I tell them if they ask about who is mommy? You're my Daddy and Daddy C is…my daddy, too."

Ugh.

How do I put it without confusing her?

"Baby, women bear children." I clench my jaw. I can't fucking tell her that her teenager mom threw her away. "And sometimes…for special couples like me and Daddy C, or like me and Daddy Jay…women give us a baby."

Fuck, that sounds retarded. They give us a baby?

"So I don't have a mommy? Like Jeremy. He had a mommy, but now he has a new one."

I bite my lip. "That's what Carlisle is for you. Not a mommy," I rush out. "I mean, after Jazz died…uh, Carlisle is my new boyfriend so he's your daddy. Like Jeremy's new mommy."

Kenna puts her head in her palms, elbows on my chest, frowning at me. "I think I get it."

I kiss her nose. "If anyone says anything about this again, just tell me or Daddy C. They have no right to say those things."

"Okay, Daddy." She yawns loudly and snuggles into me. "I love you."

"Oh, I love you, too, sweetie."


	34. Chapter 34

"I don't get where we're going!" Kenna whines from the backseat of Carlisle's car.

He smirks, patting my knee, not turning to her.

It's Saturday—Kenna's fifth birthday. We arrived bright and early. Actually, it was ten in the morning, but in my defense, I couldn't wake up after the late phone call I had with Carlisle…while locked in the bathroom. I'm definitely ready to move in with him.

When we arrived, he was waiting outside, leaning against the hood of his car. We moved from our car to his without much talking.

I know we're going to get the documents attesting that Kenna is his daughter too, but she doesn't like to be left in the dark.

"Kenna, I have a surprise for you," Carlisle finally caves as we approach City Hall.

She huffs, folding her arms across her chest. "I don't want any surprise from you! You're mean today. You didn't say hi."

It's my turn to pat his knee as he parks the car. "Sweetie, you'll like this surprise. Trust me."

"Do you mind waiting for me here a few minutes? I have a plan for this." Carl grins.

"Hurry," I urge him, knowing it will be hard to keep Kenna in control.

It's true he didn't greet us, just a brief kiss on my cheek and a hand on her cheek, but he is excited. And so am I.

Half an hour later, he returns with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. I can't believe it's finally final—after all the hours spent filling papers, talking to the judge, proving we can provide and that Carlisle's intentions are honest, he can finally call himself officially her daddy.

He opens the back door and plants a loud one on Kenna's face, whispering something to her. She scowls, but allows him to hug her.

We drive to IHOP. I can't say I'm not surprised, but even Carl can make an exception for our baby.

 _Our_.

Suddenly, I feel overwhelmed and filled with a nice warmness. Kenna is ours.

She clings to me, stuffing her free hand in her jeans. I bet the second she hears his news, she'll be all over him—forgetting about me. I'm surprised Carlisle isn't upset because of her rejection, but he has grown to understand my little girl. Kids are complicated.

We order many pancakes and chocolate topping, with some orange juice for Kenna and coffee for us.

Once we're seated and with our food in front of us, I see Carlisle shifting in his seat, impatient to share the news.

"Kenna, baby, Daddy C has something to tell you," I whisper, rubbing my hand over her back.

"Are you his lawyer?"

I stare at her, amused. "Where did you hear that expression?" I choke out, trying not to laugh.

"Miss Alice." She smiles.

"Your daddy is not my lawyer," Carl says quietly. "Since you are upset with me, he thought it would be nice to let you know I have something for you."

"A present?" Her eyes sparkle as she stares at him with a huge smile on her face.

And just like that, he's forgiven.

"Yes, _one_ of my presents for you." Carl beams at her. He takes the papers from the folder and pushes them toward us on the table.

Kenna's eyebrows shoot up and I can't help but chuckle. She's too funny for her own good.

She frowns at the papers, looking through them. "It's a sucky gift, Daddy C. I don't know how to read."

"I'll help you with that." I drag the files closer to me and start reading from the first page.

I don't expect Kenna to get it, but she's a smart cookie. Her little hands are to her mouth and her eyes on Carlisle. I stop reading, watching her get up and go to hug him.

"You're really my daddy now? Really, really? Like Daddy is? Like Daddy Jay?"

"Yes, sweetie," he murmurs, pulling her on his lap. "I love your daddy, and you two are moving in with me soon. I consider you my daughter, too, so I guess it was just a step in our relationship."

"And we're like a real family now?"

My heart takes off, beating out of my throat. "Yes," I choke out. "We are a family now, Kenna."

"Then you have to come more often to school with me," she tells Carlisle, stroking his cheek. "Other daddies come for their children. That's why they think Daddy is my mommy. You don't come often."

I make a show of dropping my fork and the salt and pepper container in the process, hoping Carl didn't hear it. But he did.

Though, I effectively distracted him with my stunt.

He will ask later, when we are alone, but I'll have time to invent something. I don't want him going there to make a scandal.

 _Didn't you just say you are a family?_ A small voice whispers in the back of my head.

_Shush, you!_

After our breakfast, we head to our planned special day for Kenna. Next stop is The Chicago Children's Museum, then we have to visit Rose and Emmett. We have a busy day ahead.

I nearly throw a tantrum at the entrance of the museum when I hear that Kenna has to pay the same amount as an adult, but the pout on her face makes me still pay for it. Seriously, she's five!

We study the flyer given to us along with the tickets, then decide to start with the Painting Studio. It's gonna be messy.

There are so many crazy things in here, I'm dizzy keeping up with her. Especially this Kovler Family Climbing Schooner—it's insane! I think I grow ulcers worrying about her. Carlisle is trying to keep me calm, but not when she's inside those things along with other kids where she can get hurt.

Then we try Treehouse Trails—camp, climb, burrow in an enchanted forest.

And to think it was my idea to bring her here. Maybe we should have tried the Aquarium, though Kenna looks like she's having fun.

I'm a few feet away, talking with Carlisle, when Kenna comes to us looking sweaty and glowing. I should have brought a clean shirt along.

"I'm hungry." She grins at us.

"That's our next stop." I wink. "Uncle Emmett has prepared a special meal for you."

"Let's go then!" She grabs my hand with both hers and drags me toward the exit.

"But not after a detour home. You need to change your clothes or you'll get sick," Carlisle explains quietly.

She pouts, but drops one of her hands from mine and takes his. She raises herself, jumping, looking like the happiest child in the world.

.

.

.

At Emmett's, Kenna zooms to the door, knocking wildly before we have time to take our seatbelts off.

"I'm hungry, Uncle Emmett!"

Carlisle bursts in laughter. "They'll think we're starving her."

We slip out of the car and make our way over to the front door slowly. Rose is there, greeting my—our—baby girl. Kenna looks in awe at Rose's stomach.

"Wow, you're big, Auntie Rose!"

Carlisle chokes on his laughter while I'm trying not to laugh.

Rose glances at us, then bends to hug Kenna, whispering to her. My baby nods eagerly.

"Yes, yes! The bestest birthday eveh! Daddy C is really my daddy now!" She turns to us and takes our hands. "We're a real family!"

It's moments like this, when she's extra excited, that I can barely keep up. Thankfully, Carl is used to this from his encounters with kids at the hospital.

He picks Kenna up and plants a sound kiss on her cheek, making her giggle.

"Hi, Rose." I step closer and hug her. "You're ready to burst."

"I'm still eight months along, but I feel like I'm having twins."

"You think?" I joke, eyeing her belly.

She rolls her eyes. "Come on in. Emmett's working on chicken breasts. I hope he doesn't burn them. I better check on him."

"Allow me. I think I need to have a talk with him, prepare him for our news…" I jerk my head behind me where Kenna and Carl are in their little world, whispering and having Eskimo kisses. It makes my heart swell.

Rose takes them to the living room while I head to the kitchen.

The chicken smells really good. Emmett is flipping it on the small grill with one hand, and with the other stirring a pot.

"Need help?" I offer, rolling my sleeves up.

"I was just wondering if Rosie was keeping you all outside." He smiles a little. "I wish this would fry already. I want to see your kid."

"Don't worry, she's the happiest out there."

"What did you get her?" he asks, offering me the spoon to stir in the pot.

"We took her to the Children's Museum. I died a few times watching her slide and fall on those games," I mumble. "But…the reason she's so happy isn't that."

"Tell me." He turns off the stove, pushing the chicken away.

"Don't flip or anything, okay?" I beg him. "We discussed this in length and we're ready."

"You want to adopt again?"

I snort. "No, Emmett. Carl adopted Kenna."

There's silence, and after what feels like hours, Emmett clears his throat.

"Wow. That means you two are really serious."

"Yes, we are. I love him, and he loves me. He also loves Kenna, a lot. So, since we're moving in with him at the end of the month…"

"Whoa, whoa! Back up. You're moving in?"

"That's what I said. Don't lecture me, because I've learned from my past mistakes. We're sure now, and our feelings are out there in the open. Don't worry about me, Emmett. Please, I just…" I swallow. "I really want to thank you for everything you did for me, but I love Carlisle. I'm sure this time."

"Well, if he hurts you again, nothing will stop me from going after him!"

"I won't give you a reason to hunt me down, because I'll never hurt Edward," Carl says quietly from the doorway.

Shit.

How much did he hear? Not like it matters. I didn't lie.

"Well, then, I guess..." Emmett advances to Carlisle, and I keep my muscles locked not to jump in between them. "Friends?" Em extends his hand, grinning broadly.

Carl smiles and shakes my friend's hand.

"Just one mistake," Em says threateningly, squeezing Carl's hand.

"There will be no reason, didn't you hear?" I mutter, moving between them and wrapping my arms around his waist. Carl hugs me, kissing my forehead.

We chat over lunch. Kenna tells everyone who's interested about her music classes and how Miss Alice is the nicest person she met. To that, Rose gasps, clutching at her heart, but Kenna doesn't seem to care.

 _Like Rose is a nice person_ , I think to myself, resisting rolling my eyes. She has her moments, sure.

"What about Bella?" Carlisle asks, putting a stop to Kenna's verbal diarrhea.

"Bella is nice, too," she says quickly. "But Miss Alice didn't know me and she was nice with me from the start."

I smile, hugging her to my side.

Eventually, she disappears with Dave into his room to play.

One thing leads to another and before I know it, Carlisle brings up the thing about daddies he heard from Kenna earlier. I was hoping to touch that subject later, when we are alone at his house.

"I got it," I mumble when all of them get angry after I tell them about my encounter with the stupid women at Kenna's school.

"Now, he'll get involved more, right?" Emmett hisses, eyeing Carl.

"Do you think it matters? They will still do it, because their parents are narrow-minded and simply can't accept there are gay couples out there," I tell him loudly. When Em opens his mouth, I stand up. "Look, I know you're not Carl's fan. Okay. Just stop blaming him for everything that happens to me!"

Carlisle takes my hand, pulling me back on the couch. "I'm sure Emmett didn't mean it like that," he says quietly, eyeing my friend. "Besides, of course, I'll get even more involved in Kenna's upbringing. I didn't interfere much before because I didn't know whether Edward would accept it or not." He pats my hand when I start answering—I had no idea he really wanted to get involved so much. "I've always loved that little girl, and now she's my daughter as well. I promise to protect her from those people."

I purse my lips. "Yeah, that's what I said, too. Apparently, we can't protect her from those snide remarks, but she knows that sometimes, men like men and women like women. She thinks we're special...unlike everyone else," I explain.

Emmett nods in agreement. I'm glad we got this covered.

I really want my friend to like my boyfriend.


	35. Chapter 35

Kenna comes to the living room and crawls into my lap, rubbing at her little eyes.

"I'm sleepy, Daddy."

I share an amused look with Carlisle.

I was starting to wonder when she'd drop after her exhausting day.

"Alright then. We're going home," I decide.

After saying goodbye to Rose and Emmett, I carry my already asleep girl to the car. In her sleep, she doesn't let go of my jacket, so I end up in the backseat with her.

"My place?" Carlisle asks, smiling at me.

I nod, running my fingers through Kenna's soft hair. She's mumbling about something, being all cute.

Once we arrive at Carlisle's house, I take her to her room and tuck her in, before going back downstairs, taking my jacket off on the way.

I find Carlisle on the couch, looking through the papers. After hanging my jacket, I join him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

"A productive day, I'd say," he comments softly, putting his arm around my shoulders, bringing me closer to him.

"Yeah. I'm more happy that we hashed it out with Emmett. I don't think he ever liked you," I mutter.

"Besides this—" Carl points to the papers. "—I'm glad we talked about what happened at kindergarten. What happened with talking about our problems?' he teases, rubbing my arm.

I shrug, leaning into him. "I'd have told you, eventually. I still can't believe what happened." I sigh, balling my hands. "I bet those children don't even understand fully what accusations they brought to Kenna, because she really didn't understand it. They just heard their parents talking trash about me, and decided to bully my baby."

"Edward, I wish I could tell you it gets better…"

He sounds so sad, like he knows what's really going on.

"You've been through this? I mean, in school…"

He shakes his head. "Not me. I didn't admit to myself about my sexuality until college. It was for the best. What I want to tell you is that… I had to take care of a boy once after he'd been bullied at school."

I frown, not understanding.

"He had lesbian mothers. He was one of my first patients after I got my degree. I'd never met a lesbian, and I realized in that moment it truly didn't matter who our partner was—our own person is the one that gets angry and wants to fight for what it loves and protects."

"That's true." I nod, agreeing.

"Well, they had a boy of thirteen or fourteen—freshman in high school. His face was bruised badly, two cracked ribs, broken wrist. All that because his parents were different."

My heart stops for a moment, then I wrench from his arms.

"No! That can't happen to my baby girl. I will never allow it!"

"Children, especially teenagers are mean, sugar. We'll just have to hope nothing like that happens to Kenna."

"Is it too soon to enroll her in karate?" I blurt out, fisting my hair. "Fuck, I can't even think of her getting hurt on my behalf."

"We'll just face it when the time comes."

We fall against the back of the couch, staying quiet.

"So you weren't sure of being gay in high school?" I ask, turning my head to look at him.

Carlisle bites his lower lip, searching my eyes for something. "Deep down, I knew it, but being brought up the way I'm sure everyone is…it was hard for me to accept. Especially, in my environment. Remember that I left home in my first year of high school?"

"That's right." I remember. "Where did you live? In one of those houses?"

"No…at friends." He shrugged. "It was complicated, but with my scholarship, I got in to my desired college and I put back all the hellish high school years."

I grin, remembering _my_ high school years. "Yeah, well…my high school years were much more pleasant," I say, chuckling.

"Is that so?" Carlisle smirks.

"Oh, yes. I'd had a thing for Jasper for the longest time, but I never dared make a step in that direction," I explain.

"Because you thought he wasn't gay?"

"No." I laugh. "Everyone knew. I mean, we lived in this small town… Everyone knew everything about everyone."

"That means you're not from Chicago?" he asks, surprised.

"No. We came here for college. As I was saying," I insist. "I didn't tell him about my feelings, until…a party."

"It always starts with a party," he agrees.

I scowl at his amusement. "Yeah. I didn't even want to go, but my closest friends dragged me with them. After a few beers, we decided to play spin the bottle."

"I can smell trouble." Carlisle laughs, elbowing me.

"You have good smelling," I snort. "Their idea was to kiss the person or lock them somewhere—like seven minutes in heaven."

"Let me guess, you ended up in the closet with Jasper."

"Very perceptive."

_I'm a wreck as I watch the bottle spinning. Every time the mouth passes Jasper, my heart does a little jump._

_And it stops._

_Pointing to Jasper._

_Excuse me while I faint._

_With the corner of my eye, I see him rubbing his hands on his jeans as our friends point to the closet, grinning mischievously. I hate them. I shouldn't have told them about my feelings regarding Jasper._

" _I promise not to bite," Jasper jokes, grabbing my wrist and taking me to the closet._

_I'm breaking a sweat here._

_The closet is very spacious—a walk-in closet. We even have a bench where we can sit._

_Jasper closes the doors, pointing to the bench, while he leans against the mirror, facing me._

_I watch him anxiously, wondering if we're really doing this. I mean, it's a rule, but our friends don't know what happens in here. We can always lie._

" _Don't worry, we don't have to do anything," he drawls, sticking his hands in his pockets. "You can say it was awesome and make everyone envious that you kissed me." He smirks._

" _How can you be so…" I shrug, waving my hand around._

" _Laid back? Careless?" he supplies. "I don't give a fuck about what they think. Though, I appreciate no one gives me shit. They think I'm joking about my sexuality since they haven't actually seen me with another boy. All the teasing and lame jokes I make…they think it's just an act." He scratches his head, making a few strands of blond hair stand up. "Anyway, until I find someone, they can think whatever. Though, I doubt there's anyone else like me in this town."_

_I gulp convulsively, nearly choking up._

_Suddenly, I stand up and we're so close, almost nose to nose._

" _We still have five more minutes. Sit back down, Edward."_

_He actually knows my name._

_I look him square in the eye, trying to get the courage to tell him how I feel._

_Jasper is watching me confused, his brows furrowed in the middle of his forehead._

" _I'm like you," I blurt out. "I've been trying to find the courage to approach you for…a long time. I had no idea you even knew my name," I admit._

_He smirks, the corner of his mouth lifting up. "I've heard your name being uttered a lot tonight."_

_My heart pummels to my stomach. I'd been right. He didn't even know I existed._

" _But I'll let you in on a little secret." Jasper leans so close to my ear, when he speaks again, his lips brush against the lobe. "I've been aware of you since I first laid eyes on you—there in English class, when the teacher made you stand up and tell everyone what you were talking about with Gina."_

_I take a shaky breath, then exhale slowly._

" _Why didn't you…?" I mumble, unsure how to feel. Jasper was always confident and got what he wanted. If he wanted to act back then, I wouldn't have said no._

" _Because you were always surrounded by this flock of girls and I thought one of them was your girlfriend. Heck, Edward. I had no idea you were gay until you admitted it a moment ago."_

_I stare at him shocked._

" _I thought it was clear. My friends—our friends—say it's painfully clear how I stare and drool when you walk in the room." Fuck. Why did I just have to say that?_

_I feel a horrible blush rising up my neck and to my face._

_Jasper cups my cheek, his eyes searching mine for a moment before his lips descend._

_This is truly heaven—just like the stupid game is called._

_Sadly, the game is over when there's a knock on the door._

_Jasper pulls back, but not too far, keeping his forehead pressed against mine, smiling from ear to ear. Then he winks._

_Before I know what's happening, he starts taking boxes of shoes out of the shelves, making so much noise._

" _Yes, yes, right there!" he yells, making me jump._

_I catch on and help him at moaning loudly and making noise._

_We stop when we hear our friend telling the others to leave the room because we should be alone. The door of the room closes and we fall on the closet floor, laughing like crazy._

" _Maybe we should clean…" I say after some time._

" _Uh, this is my closet…it's always a mess in here. I think it was just cleaned up recently." He shrugs._

" _Wait!" I shout. "We're at your house?"_

" _Yep." He grins. "Want to test my bed?"_

_I hesitate for a moment, then I nod._

"You can't stop there!" Carl moans, making me jump in surprise.

I've been so into my little story, that I completely forgot about him. "Well, nothing happened. I mean, we didn't sleep together." I shake my head. "Actually, we did but not like that. Ungh! You know what I mean?"

He grins and nods. "I bet your friends were shocked when they checked on you."

I turn red, remembering who found us. "They left soon after they thought we were…fucking in the closet. Jasper's grandma found us sleeping, wrapped in each other, clad only in boxers… It was so fucking embarrassing," I mumble. "Thankfully, she knew about her grandson, but made us promise to put a sock on the door because she didn't want a heart attack."

Carlisle's laughing so hard, the couch is shaking under us. "Talk about open-minded grandmas."

"I know. She was a truly wonderful person."

We decide to work on a light dinner. I'm chopping vegetables while Carlisle works on a yogurt gravy.

"What do you usually do tomorrow?" he asks quietly.

I look toward him, quirking an eyebrow. "What?" I ask amused.

"Tomorrow—isn't it the day…if I remember correctly…"

"Oh." My smile falls immediately. "Kenna's usually at Bella's and I spend most of the day at the cemetery, then back home in bed, bawling. It's nothing." I wave dismissingly.

"I will understand if you want to go again. I can keep an eye on Kenna," he offers.

I feel a traitor tear at the corner of my eye. "Maybe you can come with us. I guess Kenna's old enough to understand a little more. And I did promise her we'll go to the cemetery together next time."

"Are you sure? Do you want me there?"

I nod jerkily, brushing my tear.

Carl comes to me and hugs me tightly. I clutch at his shirt, allowing the tears to fall. I was hoping the wound had healed, but apparently it was still raw.

"Are you fighting again?"

I slip out of the hug and walk to my baby, who's at the bottom of the stairs, watching us, worried. I sit down on the first step and drag her on my lap.

"No, sweetie. We're not fighting," I say in a rough voice, trying to stop crying. I stroke her hair, not ready to ruin her day yet. But I have to tell her about our plans. "We were just talking about tomorrow. You know what tomorrow is?"

She nods solemnly. "Daddy Jay went to Heaven."

"That's right." I sniff. "And we're going to the cemetery. Daddy C wants to accompany us."

"The cemetery?" she asks, her eyes widening. "I get to see Daddy Jay?"

Fuck. My heart hurts. "No, I'm sorry, baby. But… We'll be closer to him there. It will be like in your school play. You'll feel him close," I explain.


	36. Chapter 36

I don't sleep well, but I'm still the first awake.

A part of me wants to go alone and do my routine on this day—stay at the cemetery until I freeze my ass and there are no more tears, then head home and curl on the bed, thinking of Jazz.

It's time for a change, though.

Now I'm in a relationship with Carlisle, and I love him. He deserves this. I have to finally accept the reality—I'll always miss my husband, but Carlisle deserves me being there completely, not crumbling at the mere thought of Jazz.

And there's Kenna, too. I have to explain to her better what's going on. I haven't really had the strength to explain much in the past.

I'm washing my coffee cup when Carlisle appears in the kitchen, scratching his chest and yawning.

"Did you sleep at all?" he asks softly, touching the small of my back as he passes me to get his own coffee.

"Not really, but that's okay. I usually don't sleep around this time." I shrug, wiping my hands on the dishtowel, and lean my ass against the front of the sink. "If you don't want to come with us…"

"I want to. I'm sure you'll need someone to be strong for you."

I sigh heavily. "I guess. Thank you," I whisper, walking to his side and kissing his shoulder.

He squeezes me close to him.

"I want one, too," I tell him quietly.

"A coffee?"

"No." I chuckle. "A tattoo. I've always wanted one, I told you. I think it's the right time."

"Of course. When you decide what you want, I'll take you to my tat artist. He's amazing."

"I can see that," I agree, tracing the phoenix.

After I wake Kenna and give her some cereal with milk, I take a shower and mentally prepare for today.

When I step out of the shower, I'm surprised to find Carlisle at the sink, shaving.

It's such a mundane thing. I haven't appreciated the little moments like this before.

He shuffles a little to the side making me room to shave, and brush my teeth. By the time I finish brushing my teeth and apply shaving cream on my face, Carlisle is done. He's so meticulous and anal about cleaning...I can't stop myself. He turns to leave the bathroom, but I grab his wrist and kiss his cheek soundly, leaving shaving cream on his clean face.

"Edward!" he gasps, looking at me scandalized.

I just grin and shrug, patting his ass before turning to the sink.

"Oh, you decided to play dirty?" Carl inquires, coming to stand behind me. He presses my thighs to the sink, his arms creating a vice grip around me.

"Uh, I want to finish shaving," I say as calmly as I can.

"Oh, but I think you want to play," he teases me, rubbing his cheek to my shoulder, covering me in foamy cream. "If we weren't busy today, I'd take you downstairs."

I stifle a whimper.

I kind of miss the Playroom. One time isn't enough—especially since I can't consider it a session.

"You make me be bad on purpose," I mumble.

"Just say the word, sugar. We can go back in the Playroom whenever you want." He kisses the nape of my neck. "Not today, though. I know why you want it, and I won't do that. It wasn't your fault."

Speak of taking the words out of my mouth.

"Okay." I nod seriously, concentrating on not cutting myself as I move the razor over my jaw.

.

.

.

The ride to the cemetery is quiet.

I keep glancing toward my—our—too quiet kid. She's playing with her zipper tag, looking out the window.

Once there, I help her out of the car, keeping her little hand in mine while I lead the way. My legs feel wobbly as I walk on the pebbled alleys of the cemetery.

I can feel my heart beating abnormally fast in my chest, and my lungs can't squeeze enough air to make me breathe normally.

A few turns and a little more walking, we're in front Jasper's stone.

_Jasper Whitlock-Masen_

_May 29_ _th_ _1987 – February 10_ _th_ _2011_

_A loving husband,_

_A wonderful father_

_And an amazing friend._

I swallow through the lump in my throat and crouch down, tugging Kenna close to my side.

"Where's Daddy Jay?" she asks, looking at me with her huge eyes.

I trace the stone with a finger. "He's here, sweetie. Under us," I explain, my voice quivering with emotion. "I'm sure he misses you."

She frowns at the ground under us, then meets my eyes. "Isn't Heaven there?" She points to the sky.

Carlisle, who I almost forgot about, comes to my aid. He crouches on the other side of the stone and explains to her quietly about the body being buried under the ground and the soul going to Heaven.

She's not very convinced, but accepts it.

"You can talk to him," I encourage her, hugging her tightly. "Tell him whatever you want."

"Doesn't Daddy Jay already know what I do? You told me he sees everything."

I take a big breath. "I bet he'd love to hear it from you," I insist, stroking her head.

Kenna starts talking quietly about us, about Carl, about school, friends…and I try to stay strong, but it's almost impossible. A hand covers mine on Kenna's back and I look up to see Carlisle smiling softly, telling me without words he's here for me.

When Kenna has covered every subject she wanted to touch, she burrows her face in my neck and sniffs.

Uh, fuck.

I can't believe I made her cry.

"Shh, baby. Jazz is happy we're visiting. We should be happy, too," I whisper.

"I miss him, Daddy." She pushes away a little. "I mean I don't really remember him, but I miss him."

"I know, angel. I miss him lots, too." I kiss her forehead, tucking her back in my arms.

In the silence that falls, I hear Carlisle's hoarse voice introducing himself, speaking in low tones, a hand touching the stone. That's all it takes for me to finally break down—my composed façade completely gone.

_I hope you can see how happy I am, love._

_I really miss you, and I'm taking your advice. I'm moving on for me, for our daughter._

_Carlisle is amazing, a truly wonderful person._

I stroke the cold stone before rising and brushing my tears.

"I love you, Jazz."

Taking a huge breath, I close my eyes and turn around, walking to where Carl took Kenna to give me a moment.

They're on a bench. Kenna's dangling her feet, watching me impatiently.

"Can we go now?"

"Yes, sweetie." I pick her up, keeping her close to me, before I grab Carl's hand and walk to his car.

"Are you okay, sugar?" he asks, concerned.

"You have no idea how…relived I feel. I've never felt so…free, happy… Thank you."

He squeezes my hand, raising it to his lips and kissing the top.

"So what are the plans for today?" I ask as we turn a corner. I glance back one more time, knowing the next time I visit Jasper, I will be in a better mind place.

"We can stay in and procrastinate?" Carl suggests, chuckling. "Or we can take advantage of the nice day and walk in the park."

Nice day?

It just started snowing a few minutes ago.

The temperature is low, but it's pleasant. Not exactly cold since it's not windy.

"The park?" I echo. "Do you mind if we take Riley with us? I kind of slacked in my job of taking care of him."

"I miss Riley," Kenna mumbles into my neck.

That settles it through a look at Carlisle. He nods and I grin.

.

.

.

Our walk in the park is postponed. When we park in front of Riley's house, the wind picks up and we kind of rush inside.

Now, we're in his living room, drinking warm beverages and catching up.

Riley's interested in Kenna's music classes and she's more than willing to share. Of what she says and of what Alice told me, my girl seems to love the piano. I wish she'd taken after Jazz.

I mean, a guitar is nicer than a piano. But I may be biased. I hated my piano teacher, which is probably why I never wanted to learn how to play.

"Maybe a delayed birthday present? A small piano?" Carlisle whispers in my ear.

"No!" I hiss. "I still haven't forgiven you for the bike."

He laughs, looking pleased with himself.

"What if we split?"

"What?" I frown.

"I pay half, you play half?"

"Are you serious now? We're not even sure if she really wants this."

"Kenna, love, do you like playing the piano?" he asks, wearing a huge smile.

"Yep, Daddy C." She comes to him, crawling on his lap. "Lots. It makes nice sounds when I touch the keys, but when the others touch it…it sounds yucky."

Carlisle gives me a pointed look. I'm so going to cave.

That's how in a few days, when I take Kenna over for dinner at Carlisle's, there's a large box in the living room.

I already know what it is.

Like any curious but shy child, Kenna stares at the box, looking between me and Carlisle with her huge green eyes. He takes her hand and leads her over. I follow, preparing for loud squeals.

Once the box is unwrapped—she doesn't disappoint. She shouts and jumps and squeals for anyone down the street that can hear.

It's not a real piano, but not a toy one either. It's something in between—just a small piano.

It was a bad idea to show her the present before dinner, because we can't take her away without a tantrum.

Carlisle gives her a compromise—instead of going to Bella's tomorrow, Bella will come over. We're going out for Valentine's Day to see Swan Lake; I bought the tickets before Christmas.

Kenna accepts that and eats in a hurry just to go back to her new toy.

To get her to wash and change in to her pajamas is extremely complicated, but we manage. I know it is a bad idea to take her away from her present, so we spend the night.

It's not like I haven't missed falling asleep with Carl.

We just need to find a way to make Bella take Kenna to her place at some point tomorrow. Our plan is after the show to come back here and be alone for the night. I'd take him to our apartment, but I really want the night to be special.


	37. Chapter 37

While I'm at work the next day, Kate keeps asking of our plans for tonight.

At some point, I finally tell her about the show and her jaw hits the floor, saying something about not expecting that.

During lunch break, I get a text message from Bella telling me Jacob kidnapped her from work and they're headed out of town. She says at least five times "sorry", and that she had no idea Jake was planning this.

"Aw, man," I mumble, pushing my casserole away. I can't even eat.

"What's wrong?" Kate asks, worried.

"Bella can't stay with Kenna. Argh! What am I going to do?" I grab a fistful of my hair.

"Well, it is Valentine's Day," she points out, making me glare at her. "Isn't there anyone else to look after her?"

"Well, there's Rose. But I bet she ships her boy to the grandparents."

She looks sad, patting my arm. "You'll figure something out."

"Shoot!" I shout, realizing that if Bella's out of town, I have to pick Kenna. "I'll have to leave earlier."

"Don't worry. I'm not leaving until the boyfriend picks me up," Kate explains, giggling.

Problem is, I get swamped right when I have to leave. Between taking care of the new problems, I call Carlisle.

"Tell me you're not busy," I say as a greeting.

"I'm actually finished for today. Just talking with Esme."

"Good. Can you pick up Kenna? It's a long story, but Bella can't take care of her…and I can't leave just now," I tell him.

"Oh, then I better go now. I'll find someone to babysit her for a few hours. We can be alone on the weekend…when say…we take her to Emmett's?" I can hear the teasing in his voice.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Can we pick you up or we'll just meet at my house?"

"Yours. Call me when you get there. I have to go now."

We say goodbye before I get buried under papers. When I finally resurface, I find a man with a helmet under his arm, looking expectantly at me.

"Hello. Can I help you?" I ask, looking around for Kate. Why didn't she greet the customer?

"Is Kate here?" he asks, his face lighting up.

Oh.

It makes sense.

"She was here… Let me check the back," I tell him, getting up.

I'm stiff all over. I need a good massage. Maybe I can talk Carl into giving me one.

Kate's in the bathroom, doing her eyes in the mirror.

I knock on the door, making her trace a line wrong.

"Edward!" she moans, grabbing some makeup remover. "Garrett should be here any moment!"

Jeez. She's freaking out.

"If it helps…he's already here. But take your time. I'll keep him entertained," I joke.

She pales before slamming the door in my face. I can hear her mumbling something and making some weird sounds.

I know it's their first important holiday together, but she's crazy. I don't personally care much for this day, but it's nice to have a special occasion to show the one you love how much they mean to you.

Not like I don't show Carl every day how much I love him.

It seems like hours pass until Kate reemerges. I learn a lot about her boyfriend in the meanwhile. He owns a rock store, where he sells a lot of different stuff; from bracelets and shirts, to guitars or signed albums. I think it's cool.

Before she appears, someone enters the bank.

I thought I locked the door already, but before I can tell them it's closed, I see Carlisle with Kenna.

"Daddy!" She runs to me, jumping in my arms.

"I see she's the cutie Kate told me about," Garrett comments.

"Yeah. This is my daughter, Kenna. And this is my boyfriend, Carlisle," I introduce them. "Garrett, Kate's boyfriend." I gesture to him.

"Not for long," he whispers, patting his pocket.

If he hadn't done that, I'd have thought he was breaking her heart.

"So soon?" I ask.

"I really love her." He grins.

We all turn to look to the back door when it opens.

Whoa.

I barely recognize my friend—she has a nice dress, knee-high boots, a leather jacket, and her face and hair are done nicely. Not at all that Kate I know—the tomboy is all gone.

"Wow, you look nice, Miss Kate!" Kenna exclaims. "Can you make my hair pretty like that?"

"Of course, sweetie." Kate comes to kiss her cheeks before turning to Garrett. "Hi."

That's our cue to leave.

"See you tomorrow," I say over my shoulder as I grab Carl's hand and lead him out.

Once outside, I kiss him, hugging him with one arm.

"I found someone to take care of Kenna. We have to drive her there, then we have the night alone," he explains.

"Oh. Is it Esme?" I ask. "Are we driving separately?"

"You can leave your car here. I'll drop you off in the morning."

"Okay." We walk to his car. After strapping Kenna in the backseat, I close the door and turn to him. "So, who is it?"

"Not Esme." He winks. I cock my head, expecting an answer. "Alice—her music teacher. We know each other."

Of course. "I thought so."

His eyes widen. "That's right. You knew her!"

I nod, smiling.

"She offered to look after Kenna when she overheard me explaining that Bella was busy. It didn't take much for Kenna to say yes. Now, it's up to you if you trust her. I know Alice, and she's trustworthy," he says softly.

"I've come to know her considering Kenna loves her so much. So, of course, I trust her. But is she up to looking after Kenna overnight? I'm still not sure about leaving her…"

"If something happens, she has our numbers."

"Okay. Let's do this," I agree, leaning to kiss him lovingly.

I miss being alone with him.

Before, we used to find alone time more often, but maybe that was because our relationship was mostly based on sex.

When we arrive at Alice's apartment, she's extremely excited. Just like our Kenna.

She has various musical instruments, CDs, and music magazines scattered about. It looks like a tornado passed the place.

Carlisle reminds her she can call us whenever. We'll get Kenna first thing in the morning if everything goes accordingly to the plan.

Only when we're at the door, Kenna zooms to us, hugging both of us as best as she can, mumbling that she'll miss us. We hug and kiss her, promising to see her soon.

Then we head to Carlisle's house to shower, change our clothes, and go to the show.

The opera house is grand and scary.

I'm not ready to admit to Carlisle this is my first time in a place like this. I did once want to come with Jazz, but not for the opera. We had tickets at the theatre for _Hamlet_ , but I got the flu, then Kenna, who was a baby back then, got it too, so obviously the tickets went to Bella.

Carlisle's telling me about his previous opera experiences, and I realize it's a good thing he hasn't seen this one yet.

We're dressed sharp—I don't even wear a tie at the bank, but I have one around my neck now.

I follow Carlisle's steps. Smiling and greeting people you don't know, checking our coats, taking the flyer with the acts and actors even if I don't want it, turning my phone on silent, sitting in my chair, and talking in hushed voices.

Seems easy.

Carl's whispering in my ear about his day and how he's getting a flock of new interns on Monday. I try hard not to laugh loudly, but a few chuckles escape.

"Not funny!" he hisses. "Out of the five I get, only one or two will be competent enough. Ungh."

"If it makes you feel better, Steve's driving me insane. He's the newbie, and Tanya thought it would be a great idea for me to supervise and help him."

The music starts and I snuggle into his side. Carlisle wraps his arm around me, taking my right hand and playing with my fingers while I press my cheek against his shoulder.

The ballet is outstanding. As for the music, there are no words. Divine.

I should have done this long ago.

What a truly a wonderful experience!

At the end, when everyone stands—it's a rush to hear the whole room clapping, to see the dancers bow and beam at us. I wonder how they feel to receive such ovations after every show.

Hand in hand, we make our way out, commenting about what we just witnessed.

"Have you thought of taking Kenna to kids' plays? At the theatre? They have decent shows," Carlisle tells me as we take our jackets.

"That's a good idea. She's old enough to understand."

"Right. Maybe next weekend?" he suggests.

"We'll have to see what shows are running."

"It's Pinocchio. I heard one of co-workers mention it," he explains.

"She'd enjoy it."

With that being settled, we go to the car. The entire drive home, the air between us changes, charging with desire.

I make an inhuman effort to keep my hands to myself until we reach his house—soon to be ours. We'll have to discuss how I'll help him, because I can't live with him without paying for something, not without a fight. But that's for later.

Once inside his house, we simply attack each other.

Hands, lips, teeth—everything.

We don't make it very far, just to the stairs, leaving a trail of clothes behind. They're not comfortable at all, but Carlisle's between my legs, tracing my cock with a finger while his lips are around my tip.

My hands find the edge of the stairs and his hair. He's making sounds as he goes down, down on my dick. I know he can take most of it, but he's past the part he used to stop.

"Ah!" I shout when I feel the back of his throat.

His eyes find mine through his half-closed lids, and it's all I can do to hold my release. I miss our sessions, if only for this thing—his orders to keep my release at bay.

His blue eyes widen when he feels me swell, then they narrow at me.

Shit.

That means we're playing.

I grin and think of anything that can help me.

The object of my distraction appears near my hand on the stair—Kenna's rat.

"Fuuuuck!" I shout, moving away, effectively making Carl stumble and land on his ass. "Sorry, baby." I shudder, pointing to the rat.

He rolls his eyes, but he doesn't look amused. He offers me his hand, pulling me up and guiding me to the couch. I hope it's safer.

What the fuck is that thing doing out of the cage?

How can it go down the stairs? It's small and fat.

"Press your chest against the back of the couch. I'll try not to make us topple over," Carl comments with a hint of amusement.

Ungh. _What did I get myself into?_

He's preparing me gently with such slow and deep strokes, and I'm ready to burst.

"Hold on tightly, sugar." I feel his lips on the back of my neck; his arms encircle my shoulders, anchoring us in case we have some incident…or accident. Then he pushes inside.

Fuck, so good.

I missed this sensation of burn, of being stretched so deliciously, taking his dick deep inside me.

"Ah, sugar. We really need to do this more often," he gasps against my neck when he's fully seated deep within me.

I wrap my fingers around his hand. "Yes. I love you," I whisper, turning my head, seeking his lips. We kiss for minutes on end, slow and sloppy, but as his thrusts become more powerful, his lips get more demanding, almost bruising.

His hold on me tightens with every push of his hips. I slump against the back of the couch, moaning loudly when he finds my sweet spot.

"Are you close, sugar?"

"Yes," I groan, pushing back against him, my eyes nearly crossing from the pleasure.

When one of his hands finds my dick, I explode, going hoarse. Carlisle's pace quickens even more. Only the sounds of skin slapping against skin can be heard in the room, until he finds his own release and collapses on top of me.

"Love you," he mumbles, squeezing me tightly to his chest.

We lay there spent, until we decide to go clean before a few hours of sleep.


	38. Chapter 38

We wake up too late. After rushing through the morning routine Carlisle drives too fast to Alice's to take our angel to school.

"I can drop you off at the bank on the way to school," he tells me.

"Nah, I can be five minutes late." I wave him off just as he parks the car. "It's a nice change to drive her together to school. She'll love that."

"You're right." He nods.

I knock on Alice's door, but I doubt she hears it. There's loud music spilling from inside her apartment. Surprisingly, she opens the door quickly, beaming at us.

"Hi, you two! Did you have fun? Don't answer that. I can see it on your faces." She winks, turning on her heel. "Come, we're almost finished getting dressed."

I share a confused look with Carl before we follow her.

Her apartment looks even worse, if that is possible.

There's also food added to the mess. Damn.

It almost looks like the time Jasper had a cold, and when I came home, I thought I had the wrong house. It was all I wanted to see after my horrible college day.

"Maybe she's a bad influence," Carl whispers.

"You think?"

Just then, Kenna storms into the room clad in her little jeans and pink t-shirt.

"Daddy!" she squeals, rushing toward us and wrapping her arms around our legs, burrowing her head between our hips, looking up and beaming at us. She's glowing.

"What..." I frown, crouching to inspect her lips. Then she shows me her hands. "ALICE!" I yell.

"What?" She appears in the doorway. "Oh, we had a slumber party."

"She's five! Too young for this sh...stuff."

"I'm a big gurl, Daddy!"

"Of course, angel, but not big enough for this. Take this off her nails," I tell Alice.

"I just tried to cheer her up. I think she ate too much chocolate and we kind of stayed in bed. Don't worry, she was okay," she explains when I pale.

"I don't think she's okay," Carlisle comments, crouching next to me.

"NO?" I shout. "What's wrong?" I ask, panicked.

He lifts her t-shirt, and I see something on her tummy...like tiny red spots. What's that?

"What did you feed her, Alice?"

"I didn't do anything, I swear. Everything was fresh." She joins us. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

"I told you I was warm. Daddy gives me tea when I'm warm."

"Uh, guys, it's okay. Kenna, sweetie, do you know when these spots appeared?" Carlisle asks her.

"Yesterday...at some point. They are itchy."

After another few moments in doctor mode, he turns to me. "She has measles."

"What? How?"

"I think you know how, Edward. Kids her age get it all the time at school. I'll drive you to work, then take her with me to the hospital."

I have no room to protest, but if Tanya wasn't on her maternity leave and Steven was competent enough to be left to do my job, I'd join them. So I decide that I will visit them during lunch.

Kenna doesn't seem fazed by her childhood disease. She even pats my hand, trying to get me to chill.

"I'll be fine, Daddy. Look, Daddy C is taking me to the hospital."

She's too happy about going to the hospital, but ever since she learned that Carl saves lives there, hospitals are cool.

"Yes, I'll take good care of her, sugar," Carlisle tells me, parking in front of the bank. "You go and don't worry."

With a kiss for each of them, I leave.

Measles.

Ungh.

Of what I know, it's a really horrible disease.

Kenna has never had more than the common cold.

I'm freaking out here.

Surprisingly, I'm alone at the bank when I step inside. Just our guard.

I turn on the system and computers, then decide to research this measles thing. I want to make sure she won't die.

I may be paranoid by now, but she's my baby girl.

Wikipedia, my love.

_**Measles** _ _(also known as Rubeola [not to be confused with the same term in Spanish which refers to rubella], morbilli, or English measles), is an infection of the respiratory system caused by a virus, specifically a paramyxovirus of the genus Morbillivirus. Morbilliviruses, like other paramyxoviruses, are enveloped, single-stranded, negative-sense RNA viruses. Symptoms include fever, cough, runny nose, red eyes and a generalized, maculopapular,erythematous rash._

_Measles is spread through respiration (contact with fluids from an infected person's nose and mouth, either directly or through aerosol transmission), and is highly contagious—90% of people without immunity sharing living space with an infected person will catch it. An asymptomatic incubation period occurs nine to twelve days from initial exposure._ _[1]_ _The period of infectivity has not been definitively established, some saying it lasts from two to four days prior, until two to five days following the onset of the rash (i.e. four to nine days infectivity in total),_ _[2]_ _whereas others say it lasts from two to four days prior until the complete disappearance of the rash._

Now that I have read about the symptoms, I remember Kenna sneezing and coughing, but hell, it's winter.

Next time, I have to make sure she's okay.

I can't seem to focus on my tasks, and just as Kate waltzes inside almost an hour later, I'm dialing Carlisle's number.

"About time you arrived," I mutter to her.

"Sorry, but last night... One word—fantastic! And look!" She shoves her hand in front of my face. "He proposed! I really wanted to say no just to see how he'd react, but poor Garry was a mass of nerves and... Are you even paying attention?"

"Yes," I answer, hanging up when Carl doesn't pick up. This isn't helping my nerves.

"How about your night?" she asks.

"Awesome, but I bet you don't want details. Though this morning...we came back to reality with a hard slap. Kenna's sick."

"Oh, no! She was okay yesterday!"

"Apparently not. She's got measles. I'm going crazy here!" I take a fistful of my hair in my hand, tugging at it.

Just then my phone rings.

"Carl, baby! Tell me how she is!" I answer promptly.

He chuckles. "You need to lay off sugar. Seriously, it's just measles. She'll be fine. I prescribed her a few lotions to soothe the itch, and pills. Now she's with Esme in my office, so no one else can get it from her. Kids don't know much about their sickness, and even with high fever, they run around. Maybe we should take a leaf of their book, huh?"

"You just gave me a long speech. I think you're just as worried, doc!"

"Well, I never had a child. Now that I have one...she's sick, and you know I broke the rules by consulting her. I shouldn't be her doctor."

"But...I trust you."

Carl chuckles. "I trust myself, too, sugar. Though, next time—because there will be a next time—I'm talking with Alistair. He's the best pediatrician in the hospital."

"Besides you," I tease.

"Aw, don't boost my ego." A loud noise comes from his side. "Fuck. I have to go. Code blue somewhere. Love you."

"Love you. Go, save a life."

We hang up and I relax in my chair. Kenna is fine.

My day just brightened. I even pay attention to Kate's ramblings in between customers. She speaks of her night any given chance—even with a poor customer when the woman notices her ring.

I want to bang my head against the desk.

Only when I leave, I realize why I'm starving. Besides the burgers the guard bought for us…I haven't had anything else to eat.

Carlisle is still at work, having sent me a message about an hour ago that he had to scrub in a surgery. That could last hours.

After stopping at a take-out place, I buy various meals, then drive to the hospital.

The problem is my plan doesn't work when my car stops not even half-way there…and I'm in the middle of the road. Literally.

Fucking piece of shit!

I kick the steering wheel before getting out and maneuvering it to the side of the road. I fish in the glove compartment for the number Carl gave me—his friend's garage.

I can very well call Jake, but on one hand, his garage is more like a restoration of old cars place, and secondly, I'd probably hurt Carl's feelings for not even thinking of accepting his help.

"Felix's Garage. Felix speaking."

I clear my throat. "Hello, Felix. It's Edward. Uh, I know Carlisle…" I trail off.

"Oh, Booty Call!" He booms a loud laugh.

I cringe, frowning at the steering wheel. I was hoping he forgot that. "That's me, though I passed the booty call stage."

"Good for you, man! Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes, actually that's why I called. Obviously. You see, my car…it's pretty old."

"We're sort of booked for this month."

"Not even an emergency?" I whine. "I'm stuck in traffic…but I managed to steer the car to the side."

"Why didn't you say so? Can you tell me your exact location?"

"I'm on the Dan Ryan Expressway…near Jefferson Park. Is that helpful?"

"Perfect. Just wait there. I'll send my guys."

"Thanks, Felix," I say gratefully.

"Anything for Carl's friend."

We hang up and I purse my lips.

_Why did it have to be today?_

I miss my baby girl and I have to know if she's okay.

Stupid piece of junk.

I wish I could get rid of the car, but the mere thought scares me. It will mean parting with the last thing keeping me close to Jasper.

After I decide to eat some of the food I bought, I call Carlisle, hoping he's out of the surgery.

"I was just about to call you," he answers, chuckling.

"Telepathy," I mumble.

"Meet you at my house?"

"Actually…I'm…" I huff in frustration. "My car died on me. I called your friend and he's on the way."

"Felix? Where are you? I'll pick you up."

"Yes, Felix. I'm close to Jefferson Park."

"Got it. We'll be right there. I hope you don't mind terribly, but Kenna's having dessert. Esme's fault."

"I bought food. Tell her she's not getting real food if she loses her appetite," I instruct him. But deep down, I know she doesn't care about real food.

Five minutes after Felix's mechanics arrive, Carlisle parks behind my wreck of a car. He quickly comes to me and helps me carry my things to his car.

I allow the mechanics to take my vehicle, while I'm assured Felix will call me as soon as he has a _diagnostic_.


	39. Chapter 39

Back at Carlisle's place, I take Kenna to her room to get her out of her clothes and into her pajamas preferably, but after a bath.

She doesn't put up a fight when she sees the bathtub. She's yapping away about her day.

From what I hear, she had lots of fun.

After dinner, Carlisle gives her the medicine, then we start applying the soothing cream over her irritated body. My poor baby.

It's a rare occurrence when we both stay with her until she falls asleep, but tonight she demands both of us there. Who are we to deny her?

I lean against the headboard, hugging her close to my chest, while Carl stretches out next to us, reading Snow White. It seems Kenna is alert and not anywhere close to going to sleep, as she's paying attention to everything he says.

"Daddy?" she wonders, looking up at me.

"Yes, sweetie?"

Carl stops reading, turning his head to look at her.

"Now that Daddy C is my real daddy, too…" She throws him a bashful smile for effect and he melts. "Are you going to get married? Like you were with Daddy Jay?"

I feel my eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "What…made you think of that?" I ask carefully, avoiding Carlisle's eyes.

I never thought of this, not that I'd say no if it happened. But we're content with just this stage of our relationship.

"Well, when two adults love each other they get married."

That sounds so simple. As if it was that easy—especially for us.

"Not always, honey," Carl tells her quietly. "Sometimes, the couples choose to just live together."

"And I won't have your name, too?" She pouts.

She has thought of this in depth.

"Kenna, how about we talk about this tomorrow? It's late now and you need to sleep," I suggest.

"You'll forget tomorrow, Daddy!"

"No, I won't. I promise." I kiss her forehead. "Sleep now."

When she finally falls asleep, we quietly leave her room, heading downstairs.

"I can't believe what she said," I mumble, running a hand through my hair.

"I think it's just a normal question." He shrugs. "Though, it seems to scare you."

I whirl around to stare at him, surprised. "You mean…if… You'd marry me?" I blurt out, cringing at how horrible it sounds.

He laughs, wrapping an arm around my waist. "If that's what you want, then yes, sugar. If it makes you happy, yes," he solidifies his answer.

I swallow hard, my eyes welling up. "Baby…" I look up at him, seeing the honesty in his blue depths. "Do you want this?"

I can't believe we're talking about marriage.

I never thought I'd find anyone else to grow old with, let alone get married again.

"I'm not opposed to marriage, Edward. True, I never thought about it, but if you want to, and if it's what Kenna wants…"

"No, no. Don't bring Kenna into this. You have to understand now that we can't give her whatever she wants, okay? I know you love her just as much as I love her, but you can't satisfy her every desire. If we take this step, it will be because we want it," I demand.

"I don't see what's bad in giving her whatever she wants. As you just said, I love her and I want to spoil her."

"Carl, trust me, you don't want to go there. One day she'll want something you can't get her, not because of the money, but because it will be impossible—like a flying pony or the moon. Please, it will crush you when you can't fulfill that desire." I beg him with my eyes, because I know what I'm talking about.

"Speaking from experience?" he teases me, nudging my nose with his.

"Not me." I shake my head. "Jazz used to be the one head over heels for her, beyond rational thought. Of course, my example isn't plausible because you'd be able to do what I'm going to tell you, but think of something impossible." I sigh, resting my forehead against his. "One day, Kenna wanted to go to the Aquarium—they were bringing new dolphins. I told her I'd take her, but she would have none of it, whining that she went everywhere with me. She wanted to go with Jazz. He could barely get out of the bed… I don't want to remember how that day ended in tears on both sides, but I'm giving you this example because you can't always say yes to whatever she wants."

"I think I understand what you mean, sugar. As you know, I love children, and Kenna is my favorite considering she's our daughter." He gives me a huge smile, making my heart double in speed. "You have to teach me how to act around her and not turn her into a spoiled brat."

I laugh. "It's too late."

He joins me in laughter.

The mood suddenly shifts when I feel his lips on my neck, his fingers under my shirt, his whole taunt body pressed against mine. I duck my head to catch his lips in a deep kiss as I push him backwards, all the while holding him tightly.

When Carlisle realizes the way I'm trying to steer us, he stops and looks questioningly at me. Whatever he sees in my eyes makes him take my hand and lead the way to the basement.

I truly missed this, and I hope I'm ready…if he actually decides to have a session, not just taking me to the brink of madness with a feather. Not like I didn't like it, but I miss the other toys.

"Let me think of something," he says softly once we step into the Playroom. "It's hard to come up with something when you didn't disobey me."

"Should I do something to upset you?" I ask, smirking, knowing full well I shouldn't talk unless spoken to directly. Carlisle raises an eyebrow at me. "Just tell me. Maybe I didn't want to actually come here…maybe I wanted to steer you to the kitchen," I add weakly, losing my nerve when he stalks to me, eyes narrowed.

"Kneel!" he barks.

I know we're finally in the right mind place. A part of me is excited about this, while another part is worried I truly crossed a line.

I kneel as Carl ordered. His hand strokes my hair.

"I think my sweet boyfriend has turned into a pain slut."

I bite the inside of my cheek.

Is that true?

Is that why I wanted back here so much?

Maybe I really get off on a little pain?

"Don't move."

I watch his feet walking away. A few drawers open and close, and music starts playing relatively loud.

 _Got to meet the hottie with the million dollar body_  
They say it's over budget but you'd pay her just to touch it come on  
Needs to hit the big screen and shoot a little love scene  
If Hollywood had called her she'd be gone before ya hollered come on

Really? Nickelback?

Before I can actually realize what song is playing, Carlisle is in front of me, his scrubs pulled down and his dick standing at full mast.

 _(you naughty thing)_  
Your ripping up the dance floor honey  
(you naughty women)  
You shake your ass around for everyone  
(your such a mover)  
I love the way you dance with anybody  
(the way you swing)  
And tease them all by sucking on your thumb  
Your so much cooler when you never pull it out  
Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

Oh, shit!

"Open," he orders me.

We both know how I feel about this, but I do as told, taking a huge gulp of air. The next second, the head of his cock is deep down my throat and my eyes water as I try to fight the gag reflex.

"Relax, sugar." Carlisle pulls out, stroking my cheek. "The more you fight it, the worse you'll feel. Breathe through your nose."

In this moment, I'm not sure if he's my Master or just my boyfriend. But it doesn't matter, because he always gives good advices in the Playroom.

"If it gets too much, don't fight, because I won't pull out. It will make me want to go deeper. So if you can't take it, squeeze my calf. Clear?"

I nod, swallowing thickly before opening my mouth and waiting.

 _You're so much cooler_  
When you never pull it out  
So much cuter  
With something in your mouth

His dick enters my mouth slowly this time, the head bumping into my cheek a few times. I chance a look up at him through my lashes and see his head tilted back as he fucks my mouth.

"God, sugar. Your mouth is heaven," he murmurs, gripping my head tighter as he slips deeper in my mouth, down my throat. Surprisingly, I don't gag. "That's it. Squeeze me," he groans. "Swallow a couple times for me. Ah, fuck. Just like that, yes. I need to fuck your pretty mouth."

I moan gutturally at his words, fisting my hands at my sides so I won't palm my own aching dick.

Still holding on my hair, Carlisle pulls back a little before ramming his cock deep in my throat.

He keeps doing this until I start moaning so loudly, I feel him twitching. I know I'm not allowed to move my head, but he can't keep my tongue still—so I make sure to wrap it around the tip with every pull and push.

"Ah, sugar. You naughty thing!" He chuckles, pushing in, then pulling my head closer. My eyes widen as my nose and lips touch his pubic bone. I try to focus on his musky scent, but my throat is already closing up and I can't breathe through my nose.

My hands grab his calves and I squeeze tightly, being past the rational thought of caring if I hurt him.

"Shh." He pulls away, kneeling next to me. "I'm sorry, sugar. I got carried away."

I sputter, gasping for air. My throat feels like it's been scratched or something. It's hard to swallow.

"Just say the word and we'll end this session," Carl says softly, stroking my hair.

I can't say that word, not even Yellow. Now I'm better.

"Edward? Talk to me."

"Green," I say firmly. "Just…"

"I know." He nods, patting my cheek. "Now go to the bench for ruining my release. Drop the pants."

As I take position, I realize another Nickleback song is playing.

 _S is for the simple need._  
E is for the ecstasy.  
X is just to mark the spot,  
Because that's the one you really want.  
(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,  
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answers (Yes)  
Not just a suggestion, if you ask the question,  
Then it's always yes. Yeah!

Carlisle's hands grab my ass, making me jump in surprise.

"You'll get five slaps with my hand for warming up, and five with the paddle. I want you to count."

I nod, straining my muscles, awaiting the first blow.

SMACK!

I bite my lower lip, because that was hard for warming up. "One," I call.

SMACK!

"Two!"

The next three blows come in quick succession, making my ass cheeks flame up.

The first blow with the paddle comes right in the middle of my ass, landing on both red cheeks.

I'm not sure if I should continue counting where I left or start again, so I go with the first. "Six!"

"You want more spanking?" Carlisle asks amused.

I hold my tongue, knowing it's not okay to retort. "One. I'm sorry, Master."

"Hmm. That sounds nice. Keep saying that until you reach ten. Next one is two, by the way."

I gasp when the paddle lands on my left thigh. "Two!" I choke out. "I'm sorry, Master," I add, mumbled.

The next blow is aimed between my legs, the tip of the paddle grazing my balls. I shiver. "Three. I'm sorry, Master."

By the time we reach six, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sit down for a couple days. Lucky it's the weekend.

Carlisle is stroking my right cheek with the paddle while a lubed finger is tracing my rosebud.

Fuck.

Feels so good.

He seems to forget about my punishment, because once I'm stretched enough, he pushes inside me. He's so deep and touching my gland.

But suddenly, the paddle comes down on my ass making me clench on him in surprise more than pain.

"Fuck, sugar!" Carl rasps, sagging against me, his arms coming around my waist.

He moves in short thrusts inside me, the paddle held loosely, grazing my aching dick. With his every push, my thighs are digging into the bench, and the paddle puts pressure on my dick, bringing me closer to the edge.

It doesn't take long for either of us to find completion. I have enough spirit to hold my release until his hits him, but I can't wait for his vocal admission that I can come. It's too much.

I haven't been this turned on in too long.

I turn my head to Carlisle to see if he's upset, but he doesn't seem to care I kind of disobeyed him. He leans closer, pecking my lips.

Our moment is cut short when we hear Kenna's voice from close by, calling for us.

"Get dressed," he hisses, pulling his scrubs up and rushing out the door. "Hey, sweetie pie. Why are you awake?"

That's the last thing I hear before the door closes behind him.

Holy shit!

I quickly get up and rearrange my clothes.

Nothing worse to kill the buzz than your own kid.


	40. Chapter 40

I leave the Playroom in a rush, and after a quick look around the ground floor, I take the stairs two at a time, heading to Kenna's room.

She's already tucked back in bed. Carlisle is sitting next to her, stroking her head.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask worried, sitting on her other side. She burrows herself into me, hugging me.

I shoot Carl a confused look.

"Nightmare," he mouths to me, his face tense.

Shit.

I guess we have to be careful with our time alone.

"Tell me, Kenna. Did you have a bad dream?" I inquire.

She nods against my chest. "You weren't here…" She sniffs.

Fuck.

"We were looking for wine," I lie.

Carlisle snorts, but doesn't say anything.

"Want to tell me about this dream?" I prompt her, running my hand over her back.

"You were gone… I couldn't find you," she whimpers.

"Shh, sweetie. I'll never leave you."

"Yes, Kenna. We'll always be here," Carl insists, wrapping his arms around both of us.

"I…I know," she sniffs. "But then I couldn't find you…awake…"

"We're really sorry. It won't happen again," I promise, hoping to make good on my promise and not disappoint her.

She refuses to allow us to go to our room, so we end up sleeping on her bed in a tangled mess.

When I wake up, all my muscles are stiff—I'm not sure if it's the result of sleeping on this small bed, or from our activities from last evening. Stretching, I look around, surprised to see I'm not alone.

Carl usually wakes first, but apparently he sleeps better with us around.

He's the only one sleeping.

Kenna is sitting up, at our legs, staring at Carlisle. When she sees I'm awake, she throws me a huge smile, then scrunches her nose as Carl gives a loud snore.

Aw, poor baby.

Then she dissolves in a fit of giggles.

"Shh!" I hiss to her, trying to hold my own amusement.

My boyfriend makes the cutest sounds in his sleep.

Kenna crawls to me, snuggling into my side, and rests her head on my chest. "You don't make funny noises in your sleep."

"My bad," I joke. "Did Daddy C wake you?" I ask, dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"I was warm and squished. And my skin is itchy."

"Don't scratch it," I remind her, while I bring my palm to her face to feel for a fever. She's a little warmer than usual. "Well, you wanted both of us here. Next time, remember this experience when you ask."

"I prefer my pet."

"Ouch! You just wounded daddy." I pretend to be upset.

She suddenly springs up, kicking Carl in the ribs in the process, then she's out of the bed. "I forgot about Squeaky!"

The problems a five year old has…

"I think she cracked my ribs," Carl mumbles, rubbing his side.

"She remembered about the rat. I'm going to make breakfast just to be away from that thing," I offer.

But I don't get to leave the bed, because Carl rolls around, trapping my body with his. He cups my face, lowering his head to kiss me, our hips bucking into each other.

"Should I knock when I come into my room?"

We break apart and burst in laughter.

Kenna's in the doorway, holding her pet in her hand, watching us cautiously.

"No, sweetie. We were just saying good morning," Carlisle tells her. "Come here. Let me give you your good morning kiss."

With a loud squeal, she puts Squeaky on the floor and rushes to us. She manages to land between our bodies, puncturing my stomach with her elbow. We attack her with tickles and smooches, making her giggle and kick around.

I love such mornings.

I want them all the time.

"When this one here gets better, we're finalizing our moving here," I tell Carlisle, holding my baby tightly.

"Yes, because you're not allowed out of the house for a week or so until you get better," he tells her.

"Will I stay alone here?"

I gasp, turning her around. "No, Kenna. How can you think that? I'll take the week off to stay with you."

"Only if you want, sugar. I can stay with her, but that means I'll have to work the night shifts."

We decide we'll both stay with her, at some point next week. A few days, Carlisle, then me.

"I finally understand the saying about grandparents. Too bad there are none around," Carl mumbles, getting out of bed and rolling his shoulders.

"Yeah, too bad," I agree sourly.

I was never close to my parents, especially after they found out about my relationship with Jazz.

Sighing, I sling Kenna around until she's on my back, and get out of the bed. "Race you!" I shout to Carl.

"Waaaiit!" Kenna wails in my ear. "Squeaky."

"I'll get him."

While Carl's bent to grab the rodent, I sprint out of the room.

"You cheated, Daddy!"

"I never promised to play fair." I deposit our daughter on the counter, kissing her button nose. Her eyes widen, focused on something behind me.

Carl.

I pretend I don't see this, and continue kissing her face.

Until something furry brushes against the back of my neck, then between my shoulder blades and down my back. I shiver violently, whirling around to find Carl holding the rat and chuckling amused at my reaction.

"Keep that thing away from me!" I squeak, moving away from him.

This makes him double over in laughter. Kenna joins him.

Crisis averted, rodent back in Kenna's room, we make omelets and map out the plans for today.

I'm about to suggest a call to his friend to hear how damaged my car is, when Carl throws me off with his idea.

"How about we visit the tattoo parlor?"

"I haven't really decided on anything…"

"Ideas come best when you are there. Trust me. Besides my back tattoo, the others were spontaneous."

"Others?" I gasp. "Did I miss something? You have more than the Chinese and phoenix?"

Smiling, he shows me the inside of his wrist. "This was my first one. It's not exactly professional, thus it's fading."

I grasp his wrist to get a closer look at the outlines of his tattoo—it's light blue, so light I thought they were his veins. There's a small heart and an arrow pointing to the right, not going through the heart. "I don't get it…"

He laughs. "I did this right after I finished school. I guess it was to prove to myself about my sexuality. Don't you see that instead of the circle for the masculinity sign, there's a heart?"

"Oh." I feel stupid for not getting it immediately. "And by doing it alone, you mean…"

"I met this guy in college whose dream was to open a tattoo parlor, and he loved to have lab rats, so to speak. It was safe. I wouldn't have tried it unless I was sure he knew what he was doing."

"Let me guess, this guy is now your tattoo artist?"

"No. He's a lawyer now." He smiles. "I met my actual tattoo artist through Felix. Demetri is Felix's boyfriend now."

"Oh! Then there's a chance to meet him there?" I ask, hopefully.

His eyebrows shoot up, and he throws me an amused look.

"I want to know details about my car." I shrug.

"Yes, there's a high probability for Felix to be there."

One hour later, and one call to my personal hero-a.k.a. Bella-we're on the way to get my very first tattoo. She's going to stay with our baby while we're out, considering Kenna can't go outside.

Once there, we walk inside the small shop.

Apparently, it's a bad time, considering one of the artists is screaming at someone, most likely a co-worker. It seems the young boy—the chastised one—has tortured a client when he didn't get the piercing right. The older, bulkier man shakes his fist, threatening the young one with unemployment.

I share a look with Carl, to which he shakes his head. He clears his throat, grabbing the other men's attention.

"Carl, man!" the older one exclaims, then turns to glare at the young one. "Get out of here. Cool down, then come back. Mull over what you just did!"

The poor boy scurries away so fast, he's a blur.

"Sorry 'bout him." Now that he's facing us, he finally sees me. His eyes lower to our clasped hands, then he cocks his head to the side. "I see… Is this the reason for the phoenix?"

I gulp, feeling my hand sweat in Carlisle's. "We were both guilty," I tell him. By now I know I'm in front of Demetri.

"Yes, Dem. This is Edward. We have put everything behind us," Carl explains. "Can you give us a few catalogues? He'd like a few ideas for a tattoo."

An idea has come to me on the way here, but I'm really not sure if Carl will be supportive. If I do this, it will finally close the chapter of my grieving.

"I have something in mind," I say quietly, glancing at my boyfriend. "I'm thinking…of a heart or something and…" I gulp, biting my lip.

"Regarding Jasper?" he asks knowingly.

I nod jerkily.

"I need details. What kind of heart? And is this Jasper some ex?" Demetri is suddenly set in action.

I can't talk, so Carlisle takes over, explaining about Jazz.

"Oh, I have the perfect thing!" Demetri exclaims. "Come with me," he adds, looking at me.

He shows me a catalogue filled with different sized and designs of hearts. I take it and sit on the comfy couch in the corner, while Carl and Demetri catch up.

I find a few hearts that look like what I have in mind, but then I find the perfect one. It's a red heart with feathery wings and a horizontal ribbon over it—perfect for writing his name.

"Found it?" Demetri asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yes."

"Let's see."

"This is so beautiful, sugar," Carl says quietly from behind me when he sees the design I point out, while Demetri stencils it.

"Let's set to work, then." Demetri leads me to a chair. "Where do you want it?"

I rub my chest, taking a huge gulp of air as my throat flames. I want him close, always.

"Okay. Take your shirt off, and you better lay on that table. Over the heart?"

I just nod as I do as instructed.

Just as he's about to set to work, the doorbell jingles.

Demetri whirls around, annoyed, probably thinking it's the young boy, but it's Felix.

"What have you done to our emo boy? He's around the corner, bawling his eyes. Oh, Carl! This is a surprise!" Felix exclaims happily.

"Emo boy, as you call him, nearly took off some girl's nipple. He's simply incompetent," Demetri mutters.

"Ouch. Well, you need to find someone else before firing him."

"Can you two quarrel while Demetri works on Edward? We need to get back to our sick kid," Carlisle interrupts them.

Demetri scowls, but turns to me, disinfecting the area. He applies the stencil, then pulls the gun and colors closer. I tense up.

His brown eyes light up. "You're a virgin!"

Now, it's my time to scowl. "Does it count that I've wanted one for years?"

"Everyone wants a tattoo, man. That doesn't mean they have the guts to do it."

"How about if this isn't the only time I'll be here? I want at least two more." One for my baby, one for Carl.

"Still, you'll get the special surprise for virgins…it all depends on how you react until I'm done with you."

I'm kind of worried of what he has in store for me.

But for now, I have to think of anything but the needle puncturing my skin.

He presses the gun to my chest and I freeze at the sensation. It pinches, but the pain dulls.

"That's all." He winks. "So, tell me about Jasper."

I try not to focus on the tattoo machine as I talk about Jasper. It takes my mind off the pain, bringing another kind of pain—deep in my chest.

From time to time, I become aware of Carlisle's laughter as he talks with Felix about something or another. Demetri keeps asking me different questions until I see him putting the gun away. He wipes my chest, but doesn't pick up the gun again.

"Done?" I ask, sighing in relief.

"Yep." He beams at me. "Sit up slowly so you won't get dizzy, then walk to the mirror."

"Wow." That's all I can utter once I'm facing the mirror.


	41. Chapter 41

Demetri's surprise for breaking into my virgin skin is a twenty percent discount for my next tattoo and an invitation to the bar to see if I can hold my booze.

I accept, but tell him we can't do that for another couple weeks or so. First, I need to make sure Kenna is all better, then we'll be busy moving in with Carl.

Upon hearing this, both Demetri and Felix offer to help me move. We promise to call them when we'll be ready. Also, Felix fills me in on the damage of my poor car. He lists so many things, I'm sure the final amount for repairing it will be close to buying a new, decent car. That's why I tell him to call me on Monday with an estimated amount, and I'll decide then.

On the way home, we stop by a take-out place and buy lunch.

When we step into the house, I'm half expecting a scene like when we picked up Kenna from Alice's, but it's eerily quiet. Too quiet.

Maybe they're napping.

But then I hear the TV and what sounds like cartoons—the volume on low.

Carlisle nods to the couch where Kenna and Bella are snuggled under the throw, watching Finding Nemo. He gestures that he'll take our bags to the kitchen, while I take my boots and jacket off, then walk to them.

Now that I'm closer, I see that Bella is sleeping, leaning against the arm of the couch, and Kenna is into her side, eyes trained on the TV.

"Hey, baby," I whisper.

Her eyes light up and she straightens carefully as not to wake Bella, bringing a little finger to her mouth.

I sit next to her and kiss her head. She's a little warm. "What have you done to Bella?" I ask, amused.

"We played and had fun…but when I wanted a snack, she didn't make it."

"Why?" I frown, glancing at my friend. She looks a little pale.

"Well, she got sick." Kenna bites her lip. "Did Bella get it from me?"

"I doubt it," I answer, just as Carlisle joins us.

"I heated up the food," he announces to us.

"Shh, Daddy C!" Kenna hisses.

He sees Bella and shoots me a confused look. I shrug.

I put the DVD on pause while Carl takes Kenna to the kitchen, before shaking Bella awake. She groans and blinks sleepily. When she sees me, her eyes widen.

"Shit, Edward! Did I fall asleep?"

"Hey. It's okay, don't worry. Kenna was watching her movie. What happened?"

She gives me a sheepish smile. "I guess I should have stayed away from the fridge."

"Yeah, Kenna told me you got sick when you wanted to make a snack. Do we have something rotten in there?" I ask, confused.

Bella shakes her head, sitting up slowly. "It's me." She smiles widely. "I'm…pregnant."

"Really?" I'm so happy for her. "That explains it."

She beams at me. "Yeah, though I haven't told Jake yet. I wanted to make sure."

"I guess you have your answer."

"Oh, yeah. Lucky the sink is close to the fridge. Jeez, it was so sudden."

I hug her tightly. "Congratulations, Bella."

"Thanks. We have to hurry the wedding preparations. I don't want to look like a hippopotamus on my wedding day."

I laugh, earning myself a glare and a playful shove from her.

"We have pepperoni pizza. Do you think you can stomach that?"

"It all depends on how it smells. It seems to come down to smells with this pregnancy."

.

.

.

The first weekend of March finds us at our little apartment packing the last if our belongings, ready to transport them to Carlisle's.

Thanks to Felix, we don't have to hire movers to move our stuff only a few blocks. He owns a truck, and just left with Carlisle with the last of the large boxes.

"Kenna, I think we got everything. Let's take another look around!" I call for her, having no idea where she disappeared while I was busy stowing her toys in the box.

She was all for packing her toys until she got bored. Typical.

"Kenna!" I yell, wondering where the hell she disappeared. The apartment isn't that big, for heaven's sake.

Closing the box, I get up, and after a look around the studio, I decide to check Derek's place. That's the only plausible explanation, because I'm sure she didn't leave with Carl and Felix.

The door next to mine opens quickly, and I'm face to face with who I think is Derek's boyfriend. I've only seen him a handful of times, and talked with him even less. While I'm raking my brain for his name, he extends his hand.

"You must be Edward. Derek told me you were moving out."

"Yes. By any chance, is my daughter here?" I ask, still trying to remember his name.

"Who is it, Spence?" Derek appears from inside their apartment. "Oh, hey, man!"

"Hi, Derek. Is Kenna here?"

He looks at me, surprised. "No."

No.

No?

"What do you mean 'no'?" Panic bubbles up.

I must have missed a spot in our studio.

"Did you see her leave with Carl and his friend?" I add, trying not to go into a full panic attack.

"Need help? I bet she's around here," Derek offers, probably noticing how I paled I've become. "Spence, let's help him."

We return to my apartment. After looking everywhere possible, and I'm starting to panic big time, Spence suddenly puts his finger to his lips and winks, pointing to the low cabinets of the bookcase.

The doors aren't closed tightly, and I can see movement from inside.

Really?

I've been going crazy here, and she's been hiding there the whole time?

If my neighbors weren't here…so God help me. I have never laid a hand on my baby, but I'd probably do something irrational.

"Makenna Masen! Get out of there this very second!" I shout.

Thankfully, she listens. The doors open and she crawls out, holding the pillow from Jazz and some plush toy, beaming at me.

"You found me, Daddy!" Her eyes widen when she sees my companions. "Derek!" She zooms to him, but I stop her before she can reach him by grabbing her shoulder.

"You're in heaps of trouble! How could you scare me like that? Kenna, didn't you hear me? I was so damn worried!"

"B-b-but…" She bursts into tears, folding her arms over her chest.

I put my hands on my hips, glaring down at her.

I won't give in at the sight of her tears.

Derek and Spence seem to realize it's important they don't pacify her.

But the pacifier comes in the form of Carlisle. He steps into my apartment, asking if we're done. After a moment of pause, he bursts between me and Derek, kneeling next to our baby. He wraps his arms around her. She sniffles and sobs into his neck.

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Maybe I should have scolded her more often to get her used to my raised voice. But she's always been such a good child. She's had her moments, like everyone, but never has she done something like this.

"What happened?" he demands, turning his head to look at me, his brows knitted in the middle of his forehead.

"She hid there." I point to the bookcase. "And refused to come out, scaring me to death."

"That is not very nice of you, sweetie."

Is he for real?

_That's not really nice?_

"Carlisle! What she did is all kinds of wrong. Step away from her, and let her mull over what she just did. We can carry the last boxes to the car."

"I'll keep an eye on her for you," Derek offers quietly.

As we leave with as many boxes as we can carry, I hear Spence commenting on their imminent adoption. I bet he suddenly got cold feet.

When the little studio is as empty as it can be, I say goodbye to Derek and Spence, promising to stay in contact with them, then go to the car.

Carlisle doesn't seem able to understand that Kenna needs this punishment. She needs to understand what she's done is forbidden, and to never do it again.

For the rest of the day, I unpack my belongings in Carl's room, while they're in Kenna's room. It's better this way, because apparently, I'm mad at both of them now. I wish Carl could understand my parenting techniques.

In the weeks leading to Bella's wedding, we find a routine. We have breakfast together every morning—except when Carl has the night shift and doesn't come home until ten in the morning, crashing until it's time to get Kenna from school. I usually take her to school, but it's his job to pick her up, again with the exception when he's held up at the hospital or something. When we reunite at night, we work on dinner together. I'm proud I have been able to convince Carl something fried or greasy is good—from time to time.

Some weekends, we take Riley to the park, other weekends we have get-togethers with Rose and Emmett. She gave birth to a girl only a week ago, and Emmett's head over heels for the little one. Dave doesn't look pleased he's no longer in the spotlight, but he'll get used to it.

As for us, we've talked about another baby. Actually, Kenna was the one wondering if she'd get a sibling some day. No hurry. Those were her words.

And who are we to say no to our angel?

.

.

.

It's Bella's wedding day, and we're having a great time. Kenna doesn't seem to be bothered there aren't many other children invited. Besides Emmett's family, there's only one other family with a child a little older—friends of Bella's. Our Kenna is dancing and singing with everyone that asks.

I have given up telling her to take breaks and drink some water, because she's relentless. If she gets tired, she'll go to the chair on her own.

Now, as a faster song starts playing, Carl seems just as hyper as our child. I really want to go sit, but he seems to want to keep dancing. I indulge him.

"This is the last one," I tell him loudly over the loud music.

He nods, hugging me tightly. One of his hands rests on my lower back, and the other is wrapped around my shoulders.

"Are you having fun?" I ask, even though it's stupid. Of course, he is.

"We really need to do this more often. If I'd known you danced like this…I'd have taken you to the club more often."

I scowl at him. "We've been out with Felix and Demetri a couple times," I point out.

"And you never danced."

"Yeah, well…" I shrug. "I was saving up energy for the dance between the sheets."

He throws his head back and laughs. I love seeing him happy and worry-free.

Suddenly, he stops dancing, making me stumble. Two fingers raise my chin. His deep blue eyes bore into mine.

"Marry me!" he shouts over the music so I can hear him.

Apparently, the music is too loud, because I didn't hear clearly. I could have sworn he asked me to marry him. That can't be right.

"Edward?" he asks, staring at me expectantly.

I gulp. Well, I guess I heard him right.

I feel my face growing warm and my ears ringing.

I'm trying to remember the moment Jazz and I decided to get married, but I can't place that memory. Everything is fuzzy.

Carlisle is kneeling and looking up at me with a huge smile. There's also a titanium band in his palm.

The music stops playing and I'm aware of a circle forming around us.

"I love you with all my heart, Edward. If you'll allow me, I promise to make you happy for the rest of my life. I want a family with you. I want to grow old next to you. Will you accept my marriage proposal?"

My throat clamps up, my limbs are shaking, and I'm sweaty.

I can't talk, but I hope he sees it in my eyes.

 _Yes_.

Fuck, what the hell happened to my voice?

I want to shout out that I love him, too, that I'll marry him, that I want to grow old next to him, too. But apparently I have lost my voice.

"Since Daddy is in shock, can I answer for him?" I hear Kenna wondering from my right.

When did she get here?

A few people giggle as she walks to Carlisle and wraps her arms around his neck. He hugs her automatically, his eyes on me.

"He'll say yes when he snaps out of it," she assures him.

That truly snaps me out of my stupor, making me laugh before I kneel and hug them both.

"YES!" I shout, squeezing them tightly in my arms. "Yes, Carl. Yes. I love you, too."

I hear him sighing in relief before he returns my hug—with Kenna between us.

"Now put that ring on Daddy's finger, Daddy C. I told you not to worry."

I frown at my angel, then raise an eyebrow at Carlisle. He's focused on slipping the band on my finger.

"I can't believe you!" I chuckle. "But I love you both so much!"

"Now you just have to keep the other promise," she reminds us. "I still want a brother."


	42. Chapter 42

For my birthday, Carl says he has a special plan.

I don't know what is so special about today if he wants to separate me from my baby. Kenna's so grown up, telling me to have fun with Daddy C and not to worry about her.

She was part of this morning's surprise when she helped Carl make breakfast in bed for me.

Emmett left a few minutes ago, having taken our baby with him. I'm really curious about Carl's surprise.

I get dressed in the clothes he picks for me—all part of the surprise—then we go to his car. I stop asking questions, allowing him to have his fun.

We stop in an alley where the entrance of a club is.

"This is so nice of you! But you shouldn't have done this," I tell him.

He smirks at me, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. "My pleasure, sugar. Soon to be your pleasure, too."

I frown, following him to the club. He takes my hand, flashing the bouncer a card. The man nods, gesturing for us to go inside.

This is interesting…

Carlisle leads me to a table in what looks like a private area. "Ah, we're the first to arrive."

"There are others here." I point to the people at the bar and the few men dancing.

"They aren't your surprise." His face suddenly lights up and he raises his hand. I follow his line of sight. Just entering the club are Felix and Demetri.

I still can't believe I have become friends with them. Just like I'm surprised Carlisle and Felix can be friends after having had a relationship years ago.

I've seen them quite a few times in the past few months, especially Demetri. He did my other two tattoos—a butterfly for Kenna, on my right side over the ribs, and a pair of handcuffs with my name and Carlisle's in them, along with the words love and trust, on my left forearm.

"Happy birthday!" they exclaim, approaching us.

"Thank you," I say warmly, hugging them.

"How's the tat?" Demetri asks, lifting my shirt and checking my latest ink.

"It healed." I glance down at the red butterfly. "Kenna adores it."

"I bet she does. It's one of my best works."

"I prefer this one. It sums up our relationship perfectly," Carl comments, stroking the handcuffs tattoo. We decided on this one because handcuffs are the symbol of the love that binds us, and they are a subtle way to show my devotion to Carlisle's other side.

I beam at him, hugging him with one arm. "This is a wonderful surprise."

"Drinks on me," Felix announces to us, bringing a bottle of vodka to the table, along with four shot glasses.

"You know I don't drink and drive," Carlisle says, upset. "And it's rude to make the birthday boy not drink if I get drunk and can't drive."

"I don't mind," I tell them.

"It's for warming up." Felix winks, giving Carl a look. He nods, smiling.

Well, they're in on a secret I'm not. "Now you are rude for keeping whatever you are keeping from me."

Felix smirks at me. "It's called a secret. You'll enjoy it. You have to, because I won't be caught dead doing this again. Ever. I still can't believe I caved to Carl's blue eyes."

Carlisle laughs, sitting next to me on the booth and wrapping an arm around me. "You'll enjoy my surprise. Thoroughly, sugar."

I cut my eyes to him. He doesn't look back.

I guess I'll have to wait and see.

As the night wears on, nothing spectacular happens, besides me getting buzzed.

A sudden loud voice comes from the speakers announcing the reveal of the curtains—whatever that is. Felix cringes. Demetri sits straighter, looking alert. Carl is still slouched next to me, playing with my fingers. I take another gulp of my drink.

The room's lights dim farther as four spotlights appear on each corner. Then, I can see one cage in each corner. Inside each are either two or three people. Some are kneeling, others are standing straight, looking all important.

Oh, God!

I realize this is the club Carl told me about—the one where he broke up with Felix, the one where he became to love his lifestyle.

I'm not sure how to feel.

"I suggest you focus on the ones in front of us," he murmurs in my ear. I shudder, glancing that way.

There are four people in that cage. One is getting bound to a table, while the others take their places around him. I wonder what they're going to do. I hope I made myself clear at that party about that kind of domination…

But then I realize they're not going to abuse the man. The other three men are touching him in such sensual ways my balls start filling as my dick perks up. I can't take my eyes off their hands caressing the man's skin. His moans and gasps can be heard from where we sit.

"Imagine feeling that, sugar. Three sets of hands working your body like a well-tuned instrument," Carlisle murmurs on a deep, raspy voice in my ear.

All I manage to get out is an embarrassingly loud moan. I burrow my face in his shoulder when Felix tilts his head in my direction.

Then a sudden idea crosses my mind and I turn my head to stare at our companions.

No way.

No fucking way.

"Yes, sugar. They'll help me make you feel wonderful tonight."

I shiver violently, turning to stare at my boyfriend, uh…fiancé. I'm still not used to thinking like that.

"That is, if you want. I will never force you, Edward." He cups my chin, staring into my eyes.

I gulp, clearing my throat. "Not here," is all I can choke out.

"No, not in a cage. None of you will be comfortable there. There are private rooms."

I stand up, taking his hand, before I glance at our friends. "Join us," I whisper in a trembling voice.

Carl leads us to one of the private rooms, locking the door after us. It looks a little like his Playroom.

"Where would you like to be, sugar?" Carlisle asks, coming to stand behind me, his hands on my shoulders. "The bed? The cross?"

"Bed," I decide. The cross holds bad memories. The last time we used it out of the house, we broke up.

"Alright." He drops a kiss on the back of my neck. "Strip."

I know that tone oh so well. I start pulling and tugging at my clothes as Carlisle talks in hushed voices with our friends. Felix is obviously interested, eyeing every uncovered inch of my body, while Demetri is trying not to look…anywhere. I guess he got dragged into this, like me. Or, he knew a bit of what was going to happen.

Embarrassing him is the last thing I want.

"Carl, baby…"

His blue eyes cut to me, an eyebrow rising. He looks amused. "Did you just talk without my permission?"

"Uh, look…this is a bad idea." I am getting in deeper, but I don't care.

He sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair, stalking over to me. I take a step back, worried I crossed a line.

"Color?" he asks quietly.

"Green, but—" I point to Demetri.

Now, both Demetri and Felix are staring shocked at Carl. I guess they have never seen him like this.

"Dude, you promised no freaky stuff!" Felix protests in a raised voice.

I can see Carl reaching his limit of people defying him. I hang my head, my knees shaking as I keep wondering if kneeling is a good idea. Then, I do it.

The fuck with it.

"I apologize, Master," I whisper.

When he raises my chin to look at me, it's just us in the room, in the world. Just the two of us.

He smiles, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "You're going to be good tonight, and I promise to reward you."

I nod, not breaking eye contact.

He leans down and kisses me passionately, before grabbing my elbow and raising me up. "On the bed, on your back, spread eagle." I shuffle there, but when I make to climb on the bed, I realize I still have my boxer briefs on.

Carlisle asks the others if they'll be more comfortable with me wearing underwear. When they affirm it, I continue climbing on the bed. I'll feel much better knowing I'm not completely naked with them in the room.

Carl starts binding my wrists and ankles to the bed posts, then places a blindfold over my eyes, promising me it will heighten the pleasure. I have no doubt about that.

"Ah, almost forgot the piece de résistance." I hear Carlisle chuckling.

Suddenly, earphones are slipped on, under the blindfold and over my ears. Then, loud music pumps through them. It doesn't take me long to recognize the song— _Bilingual_. He's trying to kill me.

This song always makes me beyond horny, and to think of what they're going to do…I'll probably combust.

Cold liquid is dribbled all over my body as I relax under their hands.

I can't believe Demetri and Felix agreed to be part of this. More, I can't believe Carl allows them to touch me like this.

Strong hands work my feet and ankles, for the first time in my life not tickling me. It brings pure pleasure. Another set of hands work on one of my arms. While a pair of hands I'd know from a million is stroking my chest to my abs, then up to my shoulders, down again.

I can't help but moan in pleasure, which I can't hear. I'm sure it made its way out, because Carl slips a hand lower, cupping my half hard dick and squeezing.

Eventually, I let their hands lull me in a mindset where I'm flying, and it feels so good. The song which has been on repeat for the whole while changes, making me jerk from my Zen spot. _Come Undone_ starts just as I become aware no one is touching me anymore. I'm still bound to the bed with the blindfold over my eyes, so I'm not sure if they're still around or what's going on.

Before I can panic and create horrible scenarios in my head, I feel something velvety circling my navel. I gasp, my muscles constricting. My cock is rock hard, but I can't even be embarrassed.

A hand brushes through my hair, then a kiss drops on my mouth, before the velvety thing starts dancing over my skin from my neck to my shoulder, down my arm until it reaches my fingertips. It goes back to my neck, then repeats the same action to my other arm, before trailing down my chest to my navel once again. Lower, lower, lower. When I feel it against my bare dick, I realize someone has undressed me—somehow. The velvety thing continues its journey down my left leg, running over my sole and making me giggle. That disrupts the pleasure as a strong hand grasps my ankle, and fingers move quickly over my sole.

Fuck!

I thrash around, tears slipping from my eyes as I gasp for breath. I'm sure Carlisle is doing this because he's the only one knowing my limit. Though, I feel like passing out from laughter.

He switches to my other leg, first running that thing over it, before giving my sole a tickling that rivals the previous one. I thrash wildly on the bed. I'm going to break my wrists, I bet.

When he stops, I'm sure he's done, but no...He dives for my poor unsuspecting dick, grabbing a hold of it, and my balls, before running the velvety thing under my balls.

Holy shit!

He's trying to kill me.

I moan loudly as a violent shiver crosses through me when the thing brushes my rosebud. Hands part my legs further, making me slid lower on the bed, stretching my arms to the limit. But it's worth it when I feel Carlisle's mouth on me.

A part of me won't relax totally. In my subconscious, I know we have company and…I can't let go.

Until Carl whispers that we're alone. That's all I need to know.

"But that doesn't mean you're allowed to come without my approval," he adds softly.

I groan, wishing I had that power over my body. It seems the moment I learned we're alone, the fire in the pit of my stomach envelopes me, my muscles straining. I doubt I can listen to him, but I'll do my best to hold my release.

Carlisle moves his licks from my hole to my balls, sucking them in his mouth, playing with them, before he slowly makes him way to my dick. After wetting it thoroughly, bringing me to the brink of insanity, he takes me in his mouth—not just the tip. He freaking deep-throats me, which makes me explode.

I hear him choking, probably not expecting me to come, but I can't hold it any more.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" I cry out as my cock twitches inside his mouth. It seems to have unlimited amounts of cum.

After hours of being teased, it was allowed release.

"Oh, sugar," Carlisle whispers softly, straddling me as he unties my limbs. I rip the blindfold from my eyes, and blink several times before I adjust to the dim lights.

The first thing I see is a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"Hi!" I smile at him.

"Hi, yourself." He strokes my hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm floating," I tell him.

"That means you enjoyed your gift."

"A lot. Where are Felix and Demetri? I want to thank them."

"They didn't stay much, just helped me relax you before they bailed. You can thank them over the phone, or next week when we're going out."

I nod. "I will. Can I take care of you now?" I ask, running a hand over his toned chest, down to his crouch.

"No, sugar. This was about you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come Undone -for those who don't know- is a song by Duran Duran. Makes me all hot and bothered when I listen to it.
> 
> Pictures of the tattoos on FB, as always.


	43. Chapter 43

In the months following my birthday we get busy preparing the wedding, discussing adoption, and Carl manages to convince me to buy a new car.

Felix has repaired the Volvo as best as he could, enough to have it take me to work and back, but I know its death was fast approaching. When Jake asks if he can have it to play with and try to restore, I agree. But that has left me car-less for over three months now.

All our future plans cost. A lot.

For me, the car can wait, but Carl insists that I need a vehicle—a spacious one, since we'll soon be one more.

I know what raising a baby means, but Carlisle and Kenna don't , thus our constant bickering about the age of her future sibling. I'm thinking of a boy around her age, but they want a little baby. At least we all agree on one aspect—the sex.

"I want a little brother!" Kenna shouts, glaring at me

We're having another sit-down, as I like to call our discussions. They resemble real mafia sit-downs, because by the end, someone ends up hurt or in tears or so upset they won't talk with the other two members of the family for hours.

"Kenna!" I groan loudly before Carl can take her side. "You will get a little brother. I promise you. Why does it matter if he's three months old or three years old?"

"With an older child, you have no way of knowing what you may get, sugar. Some children at three years old have their personalities defined." Carlisle tries to reason with me.

"Seriously?" I ask, but I realize he's right. Kenna has had a say in what she ate or how I dressed her for too long. "I still think a toddler is a much better choice."

"I want to experience all that waking up in the middle of the night and changing diapers and everything."

I stare in disbelief at Carl. He just had to point that out. "It's not as fun as you think," I mumble. "We barely got four hours of sleep in one go. And even if Jazz woke up and went to her, I was awake too," I explain.

"I want that." His tone is final.

"Yes, Daddy. I'll help." Kenna nods, grinning from ear to ear.

Yeah, right.

She'll help…until she realizes how tough it is to take care of a baby.

"Okay, okay," I mumble.

"YAY!"

"Good choice, sugar."

I let them hug me, all the while thinking back to when Kenna was a baby and how hard it was for Jazz and me to take care of her. I have more experience now, but I'm sure a boy is different than a girl—other than the obvious reason.

The first thing on our list is my new car, then the wedding, followed by the adoption as a wedding gift. We've been thinking about it for a while, but agree, if we are married, it will be easier to adopt.

Since it's Friday evening, we decide that tomorrow we'll cross the car off the list. I'm not even sure what I want, but Carl knows someone at a dealership.

My fiancé knows a lot of people; which makes me think some people, apparently plain and boring have a kinky side. How else would he know them?

.

.

.

In the morning, Kenna wakes us up excited about our day.

After breakfast, Carl drives to the dealership he knows, asking me non-stop about what brand I'd like. I'm not exactly sure, but I tell him it better not be Mercedes or BMW or some other expensive brand.

He chuckles, saying it's "Just a common car."

I want to believe him.

But then we pull up in front of Kia Motors. A common car?

Considering we are hoping to expand the family, I'm already thinking of a sedan like his or an SUV—which will be expensive if we choose Kia.

"Baby," I start protesting, but he's already out of the car, opening Kenna's door.

I spy the Mitsubishi dealership right next to Kia's. Maybe I'll convince him there are better, cheaper cars. Hmmm.

He takes my hand, leading me toward the showroom. A woman greets us cheerfully, asking what she can do for us on such a beautiful day.

I open my mouth to say we're just going to take a look, when Kenna speaks loudly.

"We're here to buy Daddy a new car!"

Of course, I can't be upset. We all end up laughing.

The woman, Celia, as her name tag reads, gestures for us to follow her, firing questions about the type of car I'd like, diesel or gas, maybe even eco. My head is swirling with all the information.

Carl tells her to show us the Sorento and Cross GT models. My eyes bug out at the prices.

We have agreed that we'll both pay, but $35,900 is too much. I refuse to pay that amount for a car.

I try interjecting, but Carlisle pulls me away. He glances at me, raising a brow.

"It's too much," I mouth to him. "Let's go to Mitsubishi, too."

"If that's what you want," he says quietly, turning to talk with Celia while I track Kenna who has wandered away, gazing at the pretty cars.

"Let's go, sugar." Carl steers me out with a hand on the small of my back.

"Are you upset?" I wonder, walking to the other dealership.

"No, just confused why this is such a concern. I thought we agreed your safety—and our family's safety—was more important."

"Yes, Carl, but I won't pay that much. Let's see what we find here, then if we're out of options….we go back to Kia." I cringe, hoping like hell to find something here.

My luck starts are on my side. After a talk with the dealer here, Liam, he walks us to an Outlander, all the time rattling off details about the car. It is exactly what I need, and the price is decent—about $28,300 fully loaded. To me, it's perfect.

"How much to change the color?" Carl asks, inspecting the brochure Liam has offered to us.

"But I like this light brown," I interject.

"Just a thousand for another color."

Just a thousand.

"Are you sure, Edward?" Carlisle asks, looking at me. "I think silver looks better, or even black."

"Brown's cool."

"I like it, too!" Kenna tells us, excited. "But I don't think I can climb inside."

Chuckling, I open the back door, before glancing at Liam to see if it's okay to have her test if she can climb inside or not. He nods.

"Come on, baby," I urge Kenna.

She bites her lip and puts her hands on the bench, then lifts herself up. One leg, another leg, and suddenly she's seated in the backseat beaming at us. "I did it!"

"I never doubted it," I whisper, bending to kiss her cheek.

"That sealed the deal," Liam jokes.

"Yes," I agree.

"If you've decided, please follow me to my office so we can draw the papers."

"Stay with her, will you? I'll be right back," I tell Carl. He nods, helping our baby out of the car. I follow Liam.

Thankfully, everything goes smoothly. After an hour of signing and talking, I'm the proud owner of a new car.

Another thing down from the list.

.

.

.

Before we know it, autumn is upon us. This brings us closer to the wedding.

We set it at the beginning of November, the only available date. I guess people get married a lot.

Carlisle suspects we are on this waiting list because we are gay. I like to think it is just because many people get married during the summer.

We end up deciding to just go to City Hall, because of course the church is out of the question.

On the morning of our wedding, I wake up in Kenna's bed to loud shrieks. I can't see anything because the blanket is over my eyes. When I try to move it away, I get louder shrieks from her, as she slaps my hands away with something.

"Ow, baby!"

Jeez. Did she borrow something from Carl?

"Go away!" she hisses. "Now, Daddy C! You're not allowed to see Daddy!"

"I can see his toes," I hear Carlisle joking.

"No! No! No! It's bad luck!" she insists. I hear her moving around the room, then the door slamming shut, making Carl yelp.

I guess she has turned into a little demon overnight.

"I'm sorry, Carl!" I shout, taking the blanket off me. "Just go with it."

"Yes. I think she broke my nose," he says, amused.

Kenna's eyes widen. "Don't move," she tells me seriously before slipping out of the room. "I'm sorry, Daddy C."

The bedding rustles next to me. I turn my head to see the guinea pig coming at me. I guess we have come to a truce over time, but we're still not friends.

"How did you get on the bed?" I ask, picking him up and going to his cage. "I'll bring you some water…whenever I'm allowed out of the room."

He squeals, scurrying to some of the tubes in his cage. That place is like a labyrinth.

"Daddy!" Kenna returns, and rushes to me, hugging me tightly.

I hug her back, breathing in her hair. "Hey, baby girl. You know it's not necessary to go through this."

"I promised Bella."

"Ah. That's what you two were whispering about last night before she left?" I check, pecking her nose.

She looks guilty and adorable.

"It's alright, sweetie. How's Daddy C?"

"He'll live. I didn't break anything, I swear."

I laugh. "That's not what I meant. I was just wondering how he is…you know…how he's feeling?" I hint.

"Oh." She shrugs, leaving my hands and going to the door. She opens it, stepping in the hallway. "Daddy C?" she calls out, glancing at me. I watch her, amused.

"Yes, honey?" he calls from our bedroom.

"You're not getting cold feet, are you?"

I burst into laughter, losing my balance and falling on the ground.

God, she can say the funniest things ever!

In a flash, he's in the doorway, and Kenna can't keep him away anymore. He looks concerned at me, but I can barely see him through the tears in my eyes. I haven't laughed like this in too long.

"What's wrong, sugar? Are _you_ getting cold feet?" he asks, worried, kneeling next to me.

For some reason, this makes me laugh harder. I can't breathe.

"Edward?" he asks tentatively. "Are you…laughing or crying?"

"I think he's crazy. Our teacher told us insane people laugh really loud and thrash on the floor."

"Oh. My. GOD!" I choke out. "Guys, stop it!" I beg them.

"So you're laughing?" Carl insists.

"YES!" I wail, brushing my tears away. "Kenna, sweetie, I promise you I'm not crazy. You two are just too cute for words."

She beams at me, wrapping her arms around Carl's neck. He scowls at me.

"I bet you won't call me cute when I turn your ass red."

My eyes widen and dart to Kenna. Thankfully, she's distracted, playing with the chain I gave Carlisle for his birthday. He'll put the wedding ring there if he has a surgery, or when he needs to take it off.

Eventually, I pull myself together and we get ready for the big day.

"What did you wear when you married Daddy Jay?" Kenna asks from her place on our bed. She looks precious in that light pink princess dress.

I'm working on the bowtie—Carlisle's awesome idea.

"T-shirts, jeans and sneakers," I answer, meeting her eyes through the mirror.

"You're joking!" Carl shouts, outraged, from the bathroom.

"No joke! It was a rush decision."

"You never told me about it." Kenna pouts.

"I don't think it's a good time, sweetie." I'm sure as open as my fiancé is about my previous marriage, he won't like to hear about how I married Jasper on our wedding day.

"I'm curious, too!" he calls to me. That's his way of telling me he's okay with it.

Why the fuck didn't I tell her about this before? Yeah, I know. I'd have probably bawled my eyes out, not like now it will be any different.

"I'll make it quick," I say quietly, abandoning knotting the bowtie. I walk to the bed and sit next to Kenna. "We were in the park and walking along the lake, having some random conversation which turned into talking about our future. Somehow, Jazz asked if I ever thought of marriage. Initially, I thought he was joking."

"Why?" She cocks her head to the side.

"You know how people view my relationship with Daddy C. Well, I can say that now it's a lot better than back then. Gay couples…are not viewed well by society, honey."

"Edward!" Carlisle gasps from the doorway. His face is half-shaved.

"What? Let's keep it real. She needs to understand this," I tell him, before focusing back on Kenna. "We talked about that and decided to try and see if we could do it. Sadly, the only place that allowed it back then was Canada…so we took a week off school and work and had a break there. We got married. It was difficult at first, but in time, people started being more open-minded about this." I stroke her cheek. "Anyway, why don't you go downstairs to Bella? She promised to make your hair pretty."

"Okay, Daddy." With a wet smooch on my cheek, she's gone.

I sigh, rubbing a hand over my face.

"You okay, sugar?" Carl comes into the room, toweling his face.

"Yeah. Why aren't you dressed yet?" I groan.

"I'm getting dressed now. Didn't you master a way to knot that bowtie?"

"Nope." I shake my head. "You can do it for me. I'm not even sure how it should look like."

"Like a bow." He winks.

"No shit?"

Laughing, he pulls his dress pants on, walks to me, and tugs me close by the ends of the bowtie. Our lips meet for a heated kiss. I put my hands on his hips, kissing him hungrily.

"I'm not sure why they sent me to check on you…but by the sounds of it…I'm a safer option."

I turn my head to stare at Riley, my cheeks burning. "How did you get here?" I ask, confused.

"Emmett walked me up the stairs, then told me to follow the noises. It was obvious you were up to no good when you sent Kenna downstairs."

"That wasn't my intention," I explain.

"I'm not sure what you heard, but I was helping Edward here tie his bowtie," Carlisle says calmly, winking at me.

"That's hard to believe," Riley says seriously. "I have strict instruction to come back with one of you, if not both."

"Go, sugar. I still have to put a shirt and socks on."

I grab Riley's elbow, steering him down the hallway. "We were just helping each other get dressed."

"Whatever you say."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post Kenna's dress and the new car in my FB group.


	44. Chapter 44

On the drive from home to City Hall, it starts raining heavily.

Carl jokes that it's good luck, but Kenna complains about ruining her pretty dress. And it is so pretty.

"I'll carry you, sweetie," I promise.

She doesn't seem convinced, so I call Bella, who is always prepared and brings an umbrella to our car when we arrive. It's Jake that brings the umbrella, explaining that Seth, their little one, is fussy.

"Be good for Jake, will you? We need to see when we can go inside," I tell Kenna.

"Okay." She pouts.

"We'll be back quickly," Carlisle promises her.

He takes my hand and we rush inside, through the rain.

After a few minutes of talking with the City Clerk, we go back outside to bring everyone in. Apparently, we can go in next. Our gathering is small—besides Jake, Bella, their baby, and Riley, there is Emmett with his family, Tanya with hers, Kate with her boyfriend, Esme, and Felix with Demetri, of course. It's perfect this way.

Our witnesses are Bella and Jake, so they step ahead, on each of our side.

The ceremony itself seems to last forever as the woman reads from the law. Last time, Jazz and I got married in a Vegas-kind of place in Canada. When she's finally finished reading and asking if we'd take the other as husband—to which we answer a serious 'Yes'—she tells us we can kiss.

Ah. We're married. Finally.

I turn to smile at Carlisle, only to see him mirroring my happiness.

"Wait," he whispers, pulling the rings from his pocket. He slipped the titanium band once again on my finger, after having stolen it from me a couple nights ago. With shaky hands, I put the band on his finger. Holding hands, we lean forward and kiss.

Our friends clap, making my face burn in embarrassment. Public displays of affection aren't my thing. At all.

"I wish you a strong marriage and to never forget that love is stronger than anything," the lady who married us says softly.

"Thank you," I answer, grinning.

We sign the files, then leave.

"We'll meet back home," Carlisle announces to our guests.

Kenna hugs my legs, beaming up at me. I pick her up, giving her a huge smooch.

"Hey, munchkin. How are you?"

"I love you, Daddy." She hugs me around the neck. Aw. "You, too, Daddy C," she adds, grinning at Carlisle.

"Oh, I love you, too, princess." He takes her from me, squeezing her in his arms.

"Yes, we love you very much," I murmur in her hair, stroking her back.

"Man, did you see that woman?" Bella asks, coming to us as we start walking out of the building.

"What? Of course I saw her. She married us," I mutter.

"No, I mean, did you see her eyeing you two all starry-eyed. I bet she needs a change of panties."

I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes. I have never understood what makes women fan themselves about us, men, being together. At least, we have them as our allies in fighting for our rights. Even Bella is one of them. Though she won't admit it, I caught her staring at me and Jazz one too many times. With Carlisle, she's spent too little time around us, since she's mostly with Kenna.

.

.

.

At home, the party lasts for hours. Loud music pumps from the system, and no matter how many times I tell Kenna to turn it down, she won't listen. In the end, I allow her to have fun. She takes poor Dave and makes him dance with her.

I lean against the kitchen island, cocktail in hand, staring at them in wonder. I can see her in a few years with her little brother dancing like that.

"She's a spitfire," a voice says from next to me.

I glance to see Demetri there, a small smile on his face.

"Yes, and the older she gets, the harder to control she is." I laugh, remembering this morning. "I'm afraid of her teenage years. If she pouts, I'll cave in a second."

"That's where Carl comes to play."

"Uh, I doubt it. He can't deny her anything."

"Speaking of me?" Carlisle asks, approaching us with his empty glass.

"You and Kenna," I answer, wrapping my arms around him. He tilts my head, kissing me softly. We've been more affectionate than normal today, but I guess we have a right to be happy. We're married.

"What about me and baby girl?" he murmurs against my lips.

"How terrified I am of her teenage years."

"Ah, sugar. There are at least ten years before we need to worry about that."

"Yeah, I hear there will be a little brother who can take care of her," Demetri jokes.

"Yes, that's true." I nod, turning to look at our friend. "We need to begin that procedure soon."

"I wonder how long it will take. I was hoping for a special Christmas present," Carlisle muses, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Next Christmas maybe. It took us months with Kenna," I remind him. "And it didn't take that long when you adopted her, because, well, you have friends everywhere."

He laughs, kissing my cheek. "It's good to have friends everywhere, see?"

"Edward's right. I doubt you'll have the new family member around by Christmas." Demetri nods.

"Come dance with me!" Kenna appears next to us, tugging at my hand. "Come on, Daddy! No one wants to dance with me!"

"That's because you have too much energy," I say amused, allowing her to drag me away.

.

.

.

For Christmas, Carlisle's wish comes true—partially. We get to take home the baby boy we decided to adopt. Right after the wedding we have started the procedure and of course, Carl knows the social worker. We're allowed to take him home, and this is only because my husband knows the right people. Otherwise, we've been told, the baby would have been our in months' time.

Nathan is going to be a year old in just a few days.

Kenna's buried in birthday preparations for her new brother, promising to make it the best party he has ever had. I remind her it is his first birthday party, but she doesn't seem to hear me.

We are so glad he didn't have to stay long in Child Services. His parents were killed in an accident not too long ago, and there were no remaining relatives.

Carlisle is currently on the couch with Nathan while I prepare his dinner. I can hear his wails from here. I've told my husband it's not that easy to take care of a baby, but he doesn't listen. I hope he understands now what I meant.

He decides to join me, while I heat the milk. "Are you done, sugar?"

"Almost. Did you check to see if he needs a change?" I ask, as Nathan cries at the top of his little lungs, squirming in Carl's arms.

"How do I do that?"

"Just put a hand under his ass. You'll realize if the diaper's full or not."

Skeptical, he does as told. "It's warm," he tells me, confused.

I groan, putting the milk bottle on the counter. "Cool it a little," I instruct him, taking baby boy from him. "Shh. You've got to be patient with Daddy C. He's still learning."

After I reach Nathan's new room, I just get him seated on the changing table before Kenna bursts into the room.

"Changing time? I wanna help!"

I want to scold her for shouting, but to my surprise, Nathan quiets and stares confused at his sister.

"Try not to raise your voice, sweetie. Come here. You watch, okay?" I instruct her as I peel the outfit off our little one. Then, I work on the soiled diaper, making Kenna gag as she takes a few steps away, her nose scrunched.

"Phew!"

I laugh, throwing the diaper in the special trash bag under the changing table. "Now, watch how I do this." I clean him up, then use the baby powder, and wrap him in a clean diaper. "Looks easy, huh?"

"Not exactly," Carlisle says from the doorway.

"You'll learn," I tell him dismissively. "Want to feed him?"

"I'm not sure…"

He seemed confident an hour ago when he asked me to prepare the dinner.

It is a first, though. Carlisle is always sure of himself and never wavers in front of a challenge.

"Come. Sit on the rocking chair," I coax him, nodding to said chair.

He shuffles over, and once he's seated, I place Nathan in his arms. "He's old enough to understand what's going on, baby. Just be careful he doesn't choke on the milk."

Carl doesn't even have to hold the bottle, because Nathan latches on as soon as the nipple is in his mouth.

Kenna moves to stand next to them, staring at her brother.

Carlisle wraps an arm around her, and my heart bursts into my chest. This is a picture I always want to keep in my mind. My family—happy.

It seems so far away, thinking back. Was it just a year ago that around this time we made up after our break-up?

Many things have happened in just one year. So many.

I have realized how much I love Carlisle, and I can't live without him.

I have managed to get over Jasper's death, all thanks to my new husband. True, it still hurts, but whenever I talk about him, it isn't like a knife twisting in my gut.

Kenna has become Carlisle's daughter as much as she is mine.

We are married—I still can't believe he asked me on Bella's wedding, but she was exhilarated for us, not batting an eye at spoiling her day.

And now, we're adopting Nathan, growing our little family.

Everything is perfect.

I've never thought my life could be so good. I always thought that black cloud would follow me everywhere for the rest of my life. Apparently, the sun appeared on my street, too. And it's shining brightly announcing only happy times ahead.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their ages:
> 
> Carl – 39
> 
> Ed – 27
> 
> Kenna – 5
> 
> Nathan – 1


	45. Chapter 45

**EPILOGUE**

**13 years later**

"Christ, Dad! Get a grip on yourself!" Kenna groans, narrowing her eyes at me.

I can't.

I've been on a roll since early this morning, when it finally hit me that in less than twenty-four hours, my baby girl will be moving out. She's going to college in New York. With her boyfriend.

I'm going to lose her.

We're having a party for her, but I don't feel like partying at all.

Sighing heavily, she walks around the kitchen island and hugs me. "Daddy, I promise to visit."

I sniff in her hair and hug her tightly.

My little Kenna has grown up so much. She has turned into a beautiful young woman with a fierce personality, which has gotten her in heaps of trouble during her teenage years. She has always been a spitfire.

"Mak, your boy toy is looking for you!" Nathan shouts, just as the front door slams to the wall.

There will soon be a dent in that wall. We need to buy protection for the door handle.

Kenna pulls away from me, scowling.

"Stop calling me Mak!" she snaps. She tolerated the nickname when he was little, but now he's taking advantage of it, knowing she hates it. "And Thomas is my boyfriend, not boy toy, you idiot!"

"Hey, guys!" I warn them.

They can fight like no other.

I wish Carl was back already from the last minute shopping trip. This reminds me, Nathan is grounded for sneaking to the kitchen in the middle of night and eating the cake we ordered for Kenna. It had been special—custom made. Carlisle was so upset, he insisted on running out to find another.

"Invite him inside, sweetie," I tell Kenna, pushing her to the door. "Our family and friends should be here any minute now."

"Seriously?" she asks, skeptically. "You won't throw a hissy fit when we touch? Because it will happen, Dad. I love him."

"As long as the touching is decent…" I say, shrugging.

"Yup, not footsie under the table like on Christmas dinner!" Nathan shouts after her.

Kenna shrieks something at him, but I can't make out the words.

Say what?

How did I miss it?

Judging by her burgundy red face, it's true, too.

But I've been out of it last Christmas. Carl has been so tired, working double when one of his colleagues got married and went on their honeymoon. But once that man returned to work, it was Carl's chance to take some time off.

I took him to the beach for Valentine's Day.

As we are constantly learning with these two, we realized it was a mistake to leave the kids alone for a whole week.

The state we found the house in was…like another World War had taken place while we were gone.

"Can you not mention that to Carlisle?" I beg Nathan.

"But he knows! He had a convo with Tom-boy after dinner. You never pay attention." He rolls his eyes at me.

Ah, to be fourteen and not care to spell the whole word. My boy is going through the teenage phase full-blown.

I'm afraid of the moment we'll need the have a _convo_ about birds and bees, though I'm sure he knows all about it from the Internet and from his friends.

"I'm home, sugar!" Carlisle exclaims. "Hey, kiddo." He pats Nathan's shoulder as he passes him. "Can you bring your sister inside, along with Tom? They seem…glued."

I chuckle, glancing out the window. Sure enough, he has her pressed against the side of his car and they're kissing. I'm surprise to see Nathan outside, already. Damn, the kid is fast. He rushes over, pulling them apart, making Tom frown and Kenna push her brother against the car, screaming.

"God, they used to get along so well," I mutter.

"And they'll go back to that in a few years, sugar. Or whenever Nathan gets himself a girl and understands the importance of intimacy."

"Yeah, maybe." I go to him and wrap my arms around his waist from behind.

"Have you been crying? Again?" he checks, turning in my arms.

"A little," I admit. "I'll miss my baby."

"I will, too, but she is going to visit. Don't worry, Edward. We trust Tom, right?"

"I guess." I shrug. He hasn't proved otherwise. Not yet. "I hope he doesn't ditch her once they get there. I will seriously track him down and wring his neck."

"You're too pessimistic."

"I'm being realistic, baby. Boys his age get bored fast."

"Not when they're in love. This coming from you is rich, seriously. Didn't you move away for college with Jasper? Neither of you ditched the other once you got here. They'll stick together because they know only each other."

I sigh, realizing he's right. He cups my chin, then descends for a kiss.

As if there's a warning sound that we're having a parents' moment, the kids come inside. Chuckling, we separate.

It seems they have made a truce or something, because they're not fighting anymore. To my surprise, I see Nathan dragging Tom to his room, talking about some game. Kenna comes closer, her eyes shifting between us, and before I know it, she wraps her arms around our waists.

"I'll miss you!" she sobs. I can feel her fist around my shirt in the back.

"We'll miss you, too, angel," Carl whispers, stroking her hair. "But please compose yourself before you make your father cry again."

"Yeah, sweetie," I sniff. Great. I'm already breaking down.

"We'll talk on the phone and Skype every day," she tells us.

"Of course, sweetie," I agree, crushing her to my chest.

The doorbell rings, announcing the arrival of our guests. Carlisle separates from us to go answer, while we wipe our tears, before greeting the guests.

It's Bella with Jake and Seth. From what I can hear, she's in the middle of scolding her son. He is always in trouble.

I interrupt her mid shout, hugging her. "Leave the kid alone," I whisper in her ear.

"Leave him alone? He's too freaking young for that shit!" she screams.

"Uh huh. What have you done, Seth?" I ask, turning to him. Being thirteen and just a year younger than our Nathan, they're great friends. That comes in handy, because if Seth is in trouble for something, I know what Nathan's hiding from us, and vice versa.

"Yeah, tell Uncle Ed. I bet you don't want that, do you?" Bella hisses.

True, the kid looks up at me, which is humbling. I don't want to say Jake doesn't set a good example, but considering their child finds me a model is mind-boggling.

Nathan returning with Tom diverts our attention.

Jake walks over to me, muttering that Bella caught Seth red-handed with an adult magazine. Oh. That explains it.

One thing we're cool about is allowing Nathan to buy adult magazines, but if he has questions about anything, we're the first option; then come friends or the Internet. I hope he will listen to us when the time comes.

By the time everyone arrives, our living room looks crowded. All our friends are present, including some of Kenna's girl friends from high school. She's the center of attention, and like a good host, makes time to talk with all her guests.

I find Tom eyeing her legs or ass for too long at times, but I let it slide. I try to remind myself I was just as bad at his age.

I see them disappearing into the kitchen every now and then to bring refreshments, or so they say. Only our guests shield the view to the open kitchen, but I can definitely see them in a lot of inappropriate positions.

Carl keeps patting my legs, making me turn my attention to whoever we're supposed to making conversation with.

"Do you realize they'll do a lot more than that once they get to New York?" he whispers in my ear.

"I'd rather not think of that," I mumble.

When we bring the cake in, everyone settles, and it's nice to have some quiet. Suddenly, the music stops playing. Nathan has the remote in his hand.

"Can I have your attention?" he asks loudly, as if he hasn't already gotten our attention by cutting off the music. "Good." He nods. "I want to say a few words about my sister."

"I'm still alive, you idiot! And I don't plan on dying any time soon! This isn't my eulogy!" Kenna snaps, glaring at him.

"Good things only, sis! And a few confessions," he adds sheepishly.

"Let him talk," I advise her. It's not like we can stop Nate once he has something on his mind.

"First, I really love you and I'll miss you, sis! I know I haven't shown it lately, but I guess our bonding times are over. Now you have Tom-boy."

Kenna looks at him, shocked. I am shocked, too.

"What else did I want to say?" Nathan scratches his head. "Oh, yeah. C lied to you about your rat."

I gasp, feeling the blood draining from my head. I always suspected five year old Nathan to be behind Squeaky's disappearance, but for that to be true…God.

"I was simply trying to pacify you, honey," Carlisle explains when Kenna looks hurt. "No one knew exactly what happened to him."

"I do," Nate says in a high voice, then clears his throat. "After he bit Ed…I got really angry. He always told you to keep it in your room and locked away."

"Hey, don't drag me into this!" I protest. But it's hard when he calls us— _his parents_ —C and Ed. He's been calling us that for years now. Only when he wants to make a point does he calls us Dad.

"You killed my pet?" Kenna gasps in surprise, wide green eyes locked on her brother.

"Honestly, I didn't mean it. Swear to God, sis. I wanted to hide him—in your bathroom—to give you a scare. But then I heard you coming to your room and…he squirmed out of my grasp…fell in the bowl… When you stormed into the bathroom, I flushed the toilet just to have an excuse to be there. Seriously, didn't think about it." He looks sad and ashamed.

"You drowned Squeaky! You're a murderer!" she wails. Tom, like the good sport he is, wraps his arms around her, soothing her.

"Nathan!" I hear myself shouting, but I'm outraged. "How could you? Do you have any idea how much she loved that pet?"

"It just happened, Dad."

I don't know what surprises me more—him calling me Dad, or him talking about it so casually.

"Oh, but she took revenge on me. A few years later when I had Greg over. Remember, after my birthday party? When I woke up with my face painted with shit."

"It was just shoe cream. Stop being dramatic. But I see where you confuse brown shoe cream with shit," Kenna tells him snidely.

"Kenna!" both Carl and I shout.

I pity our guests for being witnesses to this conversation.

"What? It was easy to blame that Greg kid." She shrugs.

I share a horrified look with Carl. We forbade Nate to go anywhere near that boy, knowing he was behind our son's face painting. I don't even remember what he had written on his cheeks and forehead, only that we screamed at that poor kid and had a talk with his parents.

 _What must they have thought of us?_ Jesus.

"Greg was my best friend, Mak. But whatever. I'm over it. You're forgiven." He walks to his sister and hugs her tightly. "I'll miss you lots."

"Aw, Natey! I'll miss you, too, lil bro."

"There they are," Carl whispers to me. "Told you they'd make peace."

I give him a watery smile, leaning into his side. "I love to see them happy and getting along."

.

.

.

The next day, early in the morning, we pile in my car and drive baby girl to the airport.

She has become quite the early bird since she started high school, but apparently that doesn't apply to Nathan. His head is against the backseat window and he's snoring loudly.

Kenna's looking through her backpack making sure she has everything she needs.

Carlisle is trying to relax her, but it doesn't work as she can't find her lipstick.

I roll my eyes—the tragedy.

A sudden idea comes to me, and I just know it will work. It's going to ease her nerves and make her laugh.

"Kenna," I grab her attention, glancing at her through the rear view mirror.

"What, Dad?" She won't even look at me, busy searching for something that's probably in her bathroom at home…forgotten.

"Ask Mr. Owl. He must be at fault."

She meets my eyes and a small smile appears on her face. Ah, a smile, nonetheless.

Then she scowls, making my face fall.

"Daddy Jay was such a tease." She starts laughing.

I wink, happy that even after all these years, she still calls him "Daddy Jay." She hasn't forgotten him, but I do my best to keep his memory alive for her. Jazz had been her daddy at some point, and he loved her more than life itself.

"What?" Carl asks, confused, making me laugh, too.

"There used to be an owl in the tree where we lived…and when something went missing…he blamed Mr. Owl."

"And I always believed him. I thought owls were thieves," Kenna says, amused.

"That goes on the _No_ list on what to tell kids as they grow up," Nathan mumbles sleepily.

"You were sleeping!" Kenna accuses him.

"How can I when you make so much noise? I'll need all the energy for later, cuz once you're gone, I'll be alone against _them_!" He points to us, as if that's something bad.

"Good luck!" Kenna cheers. I see her leaning into him and whispering.

"Hey, none of that!" Carl says sternly. "No conspiring against your parents. Not funny."

"Just advising him on how to broach the subject," Kenna says smiling.

Nathan looks at her, panicked.

I share a look with Carl. Uh huh. It's time for The Talk.

The goodbye at the airport is tearful and sad. I'm a sobbing mess, but I don't care. Once Kenna turns to hug her brother, Carl wraps his arms around me, shushing me, his lips on my forehead.

Tom's parents don't seem to hold any better than us, though only his mom is sobbing like me. Poor boy looks embarrassed being kissed and touched by his mom, but he'll miss her once they're gone.

Before I know it, they're going for their check-in. With a final wave over their shoulders…they disappear in the mass of people.

"It's not the end of the world. We'll keep in touch with them," Martha, Tom's mom, tells me, patting my arm.

"Yeah, but I've never been apart from her. Not without knowing I'll see her in a week or a month or… This is not like camp."

"You can think like that," Stu, Martha's husband, offers. "It will be easier."

"Well, it's all good." Nathan grins at us. "I can have the TV all to myself, more food for me… Ah, alone at last!"

I shake my head as Carl grabs him in a headlock, making him cry out.

"We'll keep in touch," Martha tells me, winking. "I have a feeling we'll become family one day."

I smile at her. "Not any time soon. No offense."

"None taken, Edward. But I can see how much our children love each other."

I can see it, too.

.

.

.

At home, I throw the keys on the small table near the door, toe my sneakers off, then head to the fridge.

I'm trying to pretend this is a day like all others.

"Make that two beers, sugar!" Carl calls after me.

"How did you know?" I wonder, grabbing two Heinekens. "You want anything, kiddo?" I ask Nathan over the opened door.

"A beer too."

"Not cool," I mutter.

"Cherry coke," he says, looking defeated.

I grab a can and kick the door closed, walking to the living room.

"So what did you want to talk to us about?" Carl asks, opening the beers.

"Kenna and her big mouth," Nate grumbles. "You guys have to understand something."

"If you tell us what the problem is, we'll understand," I tell him, sinking into Carl's side. He wraps his arm around me, bringing me closer.

"Yeah, we're as open-minded as we can get." He nods.

"It's not your fault," Nate starts. "It's just how I feel."

He opens his can of cherry coke and takes a sip, staring at the floor.

"The suspense is killing me," I joke.

Nathan raises his head, looking worried. His lower lip disappears between his teeth—a trait he picked up from Kenna.

"I…" He clamps his mouth shut, swallowing thickly.

"Just tell us. Out with it," Carl encourages him. "You didn't do anything bad, did you?"

He just shakes his head. "I'd don't know why I'm so freaking nervous! You, of all people, will understand!" he exclaims, his hands trembling horribly.

"What is it, Nate?" I coax him.

The hand holding the can trembles violently, and he places it on the coffee table.

"I thought it would be easier." He sighs. "For fuck's sake! You're gay, too!"

I choke on my gulp of beer.

I definitely didn't expect that.

"You mean…" Carl whispers softly.

"Yes, C. I figured it out a couple months ago. But fuck…"

"No cussing," I say automatically.

Carl shoots me an incredulous look, before turning to our son. "Is there someone, Nate?"

"No. I mean, maybe. Not really. He doesn't know I exist."

This hits a little too close to home. It reminds me of me at his age when I was attracted to Jazz.

"You don't know that," I blurt out. "Talk to him."

"Okay, fine. He knows I exist," Nate says forcedly. "Duh! But we can't. I mean…I can't tell him."

"Course you can!" I insist.

"DAD! He's my guitar teacher! You know, the dude you pushed into my life when I told you guitar isn't something I like? Yep, that's him."

"Zach?" Carlisle asks.

"Yep. And let me tell you, I'm not the only one doing the eye-fuck during our lessons."

"Nate…you're too young!" I protest.

"Uh, in case you forgot, Zach is only seventeen. It was your genius idea to get a teenager to teach http://archiveofourown.org/works/501143/chapters/newme guitar. We'd get along or some shit. We're both underage. We can do whatever we want—just fire him. Please."

"Next time he comes to give you a lesson, we'll talk with him," Carl decides. "Thank you for telling us."

"We're not upset," I assure him. "I don't know about Carl, but I'm shocked about your potential boyfriend being Zach. He's a cool kid, though." I shrug.

"Thanks! You're the best!" He tackles us, hugging both of us tightly. "Can I call him over now? Please?"

That's twice he said please—in a matter of minutes. He must really want this.

After a look at my husband, I nod.

Our kids like to keep us on our toes, but I wouldn't have it any other way. As long as I have Carlisle by my side, I know everything is going to be okay. He's my rock.

 

**~FIN~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post pictures of how I see the children once they grew up on my FB group page.
> 
> I truly hope you all enjoyed the ride with me. I just checked and damn, it's been eleven months since I posted the first chapter, give or take a few days.
> 
> There will be another slash story on the way. I promise...just no idea when I'll start posting. I'm still working on the plot.
> 
> PS: Don't forget about the outtake for this one. It's my Fandom for Oklahoma donation. Once I'm allowed to post it, you will find it in Watermarks and Ripped Pages Outtakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Interesting?
> 
> I hope to keep you entertained every Saturday from now until I finish it.
> 
> Don't forget the pictures. :)


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